Chris Lackner
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan sang. But these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop-culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
MOVIES
Big release on Nov. 11: Arrival.
Big picture: It’s like Contact meets District 9 meets War of the Worlds — minus most of the war (your first clue is the lack of aggressive words — war, independence, invasion, etc. — in the title). When mysterious UFOs begin landing across the globe, an elite team of scientists and soldiers (Hollywood’s favourite odd couple!) is assembled to investigate, including linguist Louise Banks (Amy Adams). Her job is to get answers to two questions: “What do they want?” and “Where are they from?” (This time, I suspect E.T. wants to do a lot more than phone home.) As for the aliens, they look a lot like giant octopuses with ink-like tentacles, and appear to speak in “elephant.” (BTW: You can tell Trump isn’t president in the movie. There would be no waiting for translation. It’d be a quick label of “nasty” alien, followed by tiny fingers on the nuclear launch pad and movie would be over in 20 minutes.)
As for Adams’s brainy heroine? With the help of alien-induced flashbacks, she’s humanity’s only hope to solve this interstellar Rubik’s Cube before someone starting shooting. Note to Earth’s renowned linguists: If the army ever shows up in helicopters, and says, “pack your bags,” it can’t mean anything good. Either aliens have arrived, apes have evolved and are plotting humanity’s downfall, or Atlantis is finally invading and you’ll need to learn to speak dolphin. Stat.
Forecast: After critics panned both Batman v. Superman and Suicide Squad, I predict Arrival is secretly DC’s next Superman movie in disguise. Lois Lane (Adams) is already on the scene, and who’s to say the alien ships aren’t from Krypton? Maybe the squids are like Kryptonian Chihuahuas. But seriously, I don’t have to be a language guru to guess at the intentions of Arrival’s aliens. Tentacle-covered creatures land in a world made of mostly water? They’re intergalactic ocean squatters. On a side note, this sci-fi blockbuster is a further sign that Canadian director Denis Villeneuve has truly arrived.
Miguel Rivas, left, and Emma Hunter are anchors of The Beaverton [Comedy/Bell]
TV
Big events: The Beaverton (Nov. 9, Comedy Network); Knuckleheads (Teletoon, Nov. 11 and 12); Canada’s Smartest Person (Nov. 13, CBC).
Big picture: Laughter is a cure for political frustration. In the U.S., the most toxic election in history has disillusioned voters. In Canada, we agonizingly wait for Justin Trudeau to commit to giving every citizen a free puppy. Enter The Beaverton, based on the popular fake news website. Both Canadian headlines and international news will be in the TV shows satirical sightlines. Take comfort in the absurd. Early fake news stories include Don Cherry unveiling a new clothing line for women and Canada moving to Canadian Tire money as its national currency (finally, your crazy uncle’s dream come true!).
Meanwhile, for Yankee yucks, inaugurate your Nov. 7 with The 2016 SNL Election Special (NBC). Expect Alec Baldwin to appear with a fresh Trump impression. Then Stephen Colbert’s live election night special — the aptly subtitled Who’s Going to Clean Up This Shi*t? — airs on cable (Nov. 8, The Movie Network) instead of his usual CBS Late Show slot. Expect Colbert to take off the comedy kid gloves mandated by broadcast TV.
For non-political Canuck comedy, the animated series Knuckleheads — from the team behind the popular French TV and web series Têtes à claques — debuts in prime time after a stint on Teletoon at Night. Clay animation and digitalized, exaggerated human features combine for an unlikely one-two comic punch. Meanwhile, the search for Canada’s Smartest Person (not named David Suzuki) continues.
Forecast: Colbert will prove the most insightful and entertaining way to watch our neighbours choose between the two detested candidates. Am I the only one who’d like to see a celebrity edition of Canada’s Smartest Person featuring the likes of Margaret Atwood, Rex Murphy, Justin Bieber (with the help of unlimited lifelines) and Don Cherry (with the help of unlimited Ron MacLeans)?
Honourable mention: The True Memoirs of an International Assassin (Nov. 11, Netflix). A Netflix original comedy, this time starring Kevin James as a bumbling author accidentally turned bumbling assassin. It’s like Castle meets James Bond meets … do you really need a formula? It’s Kevin James in a movie not good enough for theatres. His characters’ nickname is The Ghost. Surprisingly, Adam Sandler doesn’t co-star, so that’s one positive.
Sting releases his 12th solo album, 57th & 9th [A&M Records]
MUSIC
Big release on Nov. 11: Sting (57th & 9th); The Rolling Stones (Havana Moon).
Big picture: The Police’s siren song has long faded, but Sting is still poignant on his 12th solo album. The venerable artist veers back to rock after forays into everything from classical to holiday tunes. He was joined in the studio by members of the Tex-Mex group the Last Bandoleros (maybe Sting should rebrand as Picadura?). Standout tracks include the ballad 50,000, written the week of Prince’s death, which finds the 64-year-old Sting confronting mortality.
When it comes to immortality, the Rolling Stones release a live album of their historic March concert in Havana, Cuba. It should have been called Havana Moon: Live Because We Keep Breathing Through a Combination of Voodoo Magic, Blood Sacrifice and Duct Tape. The album closes with (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. One suspects the Stones’ fan on your Christmas list won’t feel the same way.
Forecast: Sting showed up in the studio with no new material, writing the album on the spot. That alone puts the Stones, who haven’t released a good studio effort in decades, to shame.
Honourable mention: Martha Wainwright (Goodnight City). The Canadian singer-songwriter delivers a raw, personal album of 12 new tracks, which includes six of her own and an additional six tunes donated by the likes of Beth Orton, Glen Hansard, brother Rufus Wainwright and author Michael Ondaatje.