Chris Lackner
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan sang. But these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
• MOVIES
Big Release on July 10: Minions
Big Picture: Apparently, even cartoons have prequels now. (How long before we get the coming-of-age story of Bambi’s mom?) The cutesy, yellow, one-eyed Minions of the Despicable Me franchise get their own origin story. What does it say when a species genetically wired to be supervillains’ henchmen star in the feel-good movie of the summer? The poor guys; they’re just a race of dysfunctional cyclops looking for the biggest, baddest boss — but keeping that boss is another thing altogether. The inept Minions prove to be the downfall of everyone from Napoleon and Dracula to an Egyptian pharaoh. Long before they served Despicable’s Gru, three soul-searching Minions ventured to 1960s New York City and latched on to Scarlet Overkill (Sandra Bullock), the world’s first female supervillain (Huh? I always thought that was Oprah); one of them even finds love with yellow fire hydrants (“me bellas”).
Forecast: Sure, they look like giant multivitamins with stubby feet and one googly eye, and they may live to fan the flames of evil. But they’ll make you smile. Plus, who else can we count on to bring down the Kardashian family from the inside. Go minions! Do your worst!
Honourable Mention: Self/less: Ben Kingsley plays a ridiculously rich guy facing death who signs on for a radical procedure that transfers his consciousness into the body of a hunky young man (Ryan Reynolds). Of course, he does what any geriatric would do if handed the controls to Reynolds’ body: drive fast sports cars, engage in profound substance abuse and sleep with non-profound 20-somethings. (What? This is Hollywood. You wanted him to go in search of the meaning in life or atone for the callous mistakes of his youth?) When the body’s original memories start creeping — and fighting — back, the body snatcher has to make a difficult choice. His life or the one he stole? (On a side note: Why are screenwriters giving Donald Trump ideas for how to extend his lifespan?)
In the comedy adventure Minions, the Minions try to save all Minionkind from annihilation. [Universal Pictures/Illumination Entertainment]
• TV
Big Event: Amazing Race Canada (July 8, CTV)
Big Picture: “Laidback” and “endearing” East Coast brothers; a “romantic, fun-loving” couple from Montreal; athletic, gym-loving Italian brothers from Hamilton (whose novelty trick is they can swallow tangerines whole). Amazing Canada clearly searched hard for 12 new teams to represent as many Canadian clichés as possible. Toss in a father-daughter combo that includes a CFL Hall of Fame coach and player, and a Nigerian father-daughter team that emigrated here in 2006, and they might as well have just shot a bunch of new Canadian Heritage Moments at the same time as shooting this series.
Forecast: The new season brings new challenges, destinations, arguments and embarrassing moments. The only thing that would make this competition even more entertaining is if we could assign each team a Minion or two.
Jon Montgomery hosts The Amazing Race Canada [CTV/Bell]
• MUSIC
Big Release on July 10: Veruca Salt (Ghost Notes)
Big Picture: The ‘90s come back to haunt us as Chicago’s gritty, all-female rock band, Veruca Salt, reunite with their original lineup. Sure, they broke up after a major falling out between lead singers Nina Gordon and Louise Post — and basically despised one another. But you “can’t fight the Seether,” as they once famously sang in their biggest hit. (I still have no idea what a Seether is, but it sounds a lot like a race of minions’ minions.)
Forecast: Glad to see the girls have exorcised their demons; I’m sure the promise of a steady pay cheque helped bury the hatchet. I predict their return will inspire a whole new generation of bands named after characters from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: Augustus Gloop, Violet Beauregarde, Vermicious Knids, Arthur Slugworth… Grandpa Joe.
Honourable Mention: Rachel Sermanni (Tied to the Moon). The Scottish folkie’s second studio album was conceived during a visit to Nova Scotia. She wrote the core group of her stirring new collection of songs while living above an isolated pottery studio in the wilderness. Solitary confinement proved inspiring for the young indie artist, but that shouldn’t become the norm. (Just imagine the peril of the erratic Kanye West locking himself away from society to create an album? Left alone with his unfiltered ego, who knows what music he might inflict upon us?)