Chris Lackner
“You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows,” Bob Dylan sang, but these days, a guide through the seemingly endless flurry of pop culture offerings is just what we need. With that in mind, here is what’s on the radar screen in TV, music and film for the coming week.
• MOVIES
Big release: The Wolverine (July 26)
Big picture: An eccentric loner with sharp objects for hands, Wolverine is essentially Edward Scissorhands with a worse hairstyle — and extreme rage issues. Hugh Jackman reprises the character for a sixth time in this solo outing, set after the events of X-Men: The Last Stand, with Wolverine tortured over the apparent death of teammate Jean Grey. Wolvie leaves his X-Men spandex behind, heads to Japan, embraces his inner Samurai and finds himself caught up in a turf war between Yakuza crime bosses. Complicating matters further, Wolverine’s legendary healing powers are coveted by various factions. “Trust me bub, you don’t want what I’ve got, “ Wolverine growls at one point. (And I assume he means the owl-shaped haircut and mutton chops.) When a sexy, blond, snake-tongued mutant named Viper (picture Captain Kirk’s ultimate alien fantasy) drains Wolverine of some of his mutant abilities, all bets are off. When he bleeds, he can die. A nearly indestructible hero who typically behaves as if he has nothing to lose — and usually doesn’t — is suddenly staring down death’s door 24/7.
Forecast: In homage to Quentin Tarantino, they should have called this Kill Wolverine. Have you ever wanted to know how Wolverine would fair single-handedly against an army of ninjas? Now is your time to find out. Wolverine is more man than mutant in this one — vulnerable emotionally and physically. It’s like watching Superman spend 120 minutes with a lump of kryptonite in his pocket.
Honourable Mention: The To Do List (July 26). It’s Juno meets American Pie. Aubrey Plaza has always been one of the best reasons to watch TV’s Parks and Recreation, one of the most consistently funny shows on the small screen. In the lead role of this romantic comedy, she plays a quirky high school senior on a mission for more sexual experience before college. (I could have solved her problem quickly: Knock on Charlie Sheen’s front door.)
Axe Cop debuts on Fox
• TV
Big Event: Axe Cop (Fox, July 27, 11 p.m. ET/PT)
Big picture: After a special preview on July 21st, this unlikely new series premières in its regular, late-night slot. Axe Cop is the only series on TV that literally comes from the mind of a five-year-old (I think the writers of NCIS: Los Angeles are at least eight). Axe Cop is a gruff, mustached lawman whose weapon of choice happens to be an axe. By the way, he only needs two minutes of sleep a night, he only eats birthday cake — and his common enemies tend to be zombies, aliens, robots, monsters and dinosaurs.
The 15-minute animated series is based on the web comic created by two brothers: Malachai Nicolle (who created the persona/character at age five and is now eight) and his older brother Ethan, the artist and writer who brought that vivid imagination to life. The show is paired with another 15-minutes series, High School USA!, and is part of a new, late-night animated block on Fox called Animation Domination. (I’m already gearing to see Axe Cop take on Wolverine. Somebody needs to draw that comic. Stat.)
Forecast: I was sold on two things: 1. The brilliant Nick Offerman (Parks and Recreation) voices Axe Cop. 2. Episode 2 is called “Zombie Island … In Space.” Ah, the mind of a child. Given that more than one ex-girlfriend has critiqued me for having the mind of a five-year-old, my future is clearly in the comic business. Off the top of my head: Squid Firefighter, Chainsaw Lawyer, Machete Medic, and Platypus Plane Pilot. See? I’ve essentially filled Fox’s late-night animated slot for another hour.
Honourable Mention: Unforgettable (July 28, CTV, CBS, 9 p.m. ET/PT). Apparently, the series lives up to its name. It was cancelled and then resurrected. Poppy Montgomery plays a detective with a photographic memory, but she isn’t the first. Columbo had a photographic memory, too; he just played stupid.
Selena Gomez
• MUSIC
Big releases: Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros, (self-titled); Selena Gomez, Stars Dance, (July 23)
Big picture: Don’t let the name fool you. This band isn’t a team of super villains facing off against Wolverine. Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros is a joyful indie-folk collective led by Alex Ebert. Their albums sound like they were recorded at a musically gifted hippie commune that just raided an orchestra’s storage facility.
Meanwhile, pop starlet Selena Gomez follows up her cinematic turn in the violent, sexy Spring Break with a saucy new album featuring songs like Come and Get It and Undercover. The 21-year-old offers lyrical gems like, “Imma bring the party back / We gon blow the thermostat” and “You know I’m good with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation/Breathe me in breathe me out so amazing.” Now, we know what had young Justin Bieber so infatuated.
Forecast: Gomez looks to leave her Disney image behind for good and plot a course to Timberlake land. But it’s Edward Sharpe’s effort that is truly magnetic.
Related articles
The Complete Visual History of Wolverine’s Suit (gizmodo.com)
First Listen: ‘Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros’ (npr.org)
Wolverine – The Musical! (geeksyndicate.co.uk)
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