Let me start this series by describing the chain of events that led me to write it. Most of the specific events happened over the past 72 hours. Of course the foundation and deepest influence of everything is what I have learnt, and now coach, at CNI.
1) The first influence was a piece blog piece by a person whose work I read closely, and who I admire deeply – Dr. Mark Goulston. The piece I am referring to is titled “How to give a meaningful apology” which appeared in the blog he writes for the Harvard Business Review. Everything Dr. Goulston writes provokes me to engage him seriously. My interactions with him online, and the thoughts and ideas he shares on linkedIn have led me to conclude that he is a gentleman with a heart of gold, who is driven by a valid M&P, and is committed to building the kind of world that all of us prefer to live in. (I warmly recommend all his books. The one he refers to in that piece – Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone – is the best book I have read on improving one’s ability to listen better.)
The piece alludes to but does not focus on some issues – the destructive impact of invalid goals and invalid M&Ps along with the enthronement of numbers, outcomes, and results – that I have repeatedly raised in numerous previous pieces. This is understandable because the thrust of his piece is different. In this series, I will attempt to show the unseen roots of the events he describes, and a way to tackle the problems at the roots. We will all be better, more effective, and more authentically human if we learn to truly give a meaningful apology when you and I lose it. But that alone will not prevent the blow ups he describes from happening. The roots lie much deeper. Exposing those roots will not prevent blow ups. But they will make them far less frequent.
2) The second influence was a couple of email exchanges with a young man who recently discovered the work we do at CNI. He has just started learning the Camp System of Negotiation. This is part of what he wrote me:
“I work for a company that has a mission and vision that is internally focused i.e. to be a billion dollar company by 2018 and to have a 4% return on sales. Now that I am making an internal shift through CNI should I be looking for another place to hang my hat soon? I feel there may be a clash of belief and procedures the more I move forward with the Camp System.”
In another mail, he wrote
“Your writings have an impact of deep wisdom. Maybe CNI is a program of wisdom? Thank you for helping me with clarity early in my studies.
Yes I will set aside the time to invest in a life M and P to guide these big decisions and I will keep in mind the goal of desiring to be effective and respected.”
3) The third influence is a conversation I had with a young friend just started working selling insurance. After 2 weeks of training, he was sent out into the field. Shortly afterwards, he came to meet me. During our conversation, he described
The dysfunctional competition that he perceives between his colleagues, and between his branch and other branches.
How the industry was battling for credibility and the uphill battle he and others face as a result of the baggage that has arisen as a result of the ways in which insurance agents have conned customers in the past.
The prevailing attitude in his firm being that the only thing that really matters are his results. As long as his results come rolling in, he’ll be left pretty much alone.
How a substantial percentage of his pay is linked directly to the results he produces. He will not get paid in full if he doesn’t produce what is expected of him. (This, of course is standard practice in sales, across industries.)
This person is just setting out in the world of sales. He has been taught a few tricks and techniques, but neither he nor his organization are aware of the existence or importance of a valid System of Negotiation to succeed in sales. That being the case, it is not surprising that they do not see the link between mastery of such a System and consistent superior performance. The approach being used is one I described some time back in a piece I titled “Sales Quotas and the Great Jackass Theory of Human Motivation”. I also wrote extensively about this when I wrote about “Quota Land” in my Negotiation and Cold Calling series.
4) The fourth and final incident that triggered this piece was a video that a fellow training professional sent me, yesterday. When she sent it, she included a brief comment: “Thought of you when I saw this.” The video is a presentation made by the celebrated author, Daniel Pink and is titled “The Surprising Truth About Moving Others”. There’s a lot in there that is worth listening to. However, I am convinced that Mr. Pink makes a very good (but incomplete) diagnosis and does not offer a very effective prescription.
All these triggers relate, directly or indirectly to sales. Dr. Goulston’s piece (which involves a Senior VP, a sales manager and the team the former leads and the latter belongs to), the emails I received from the young professional who has just set out on the road to mastering the Camp System of Negotiation, my interaction with the young professional selling insurance, and watching Daniel Pink’s presentation combine to reveal what goes on in millions of organizations across the globe.
One last trigger
Despite the fact that the voluntary exchange of goods and services is an essential feature of human existence and contributes to human prosperity, some people have a lot of baggage with sales. They have had too many unpleasant encounters with pushy, manipulative, or deceptive sales professionals. The young insurance agent brought that to the fore when he mentioned the struggle he and his colleagues face in even getting people to listen to what they have to say.
To me, all these reveal that there’s something amiss in the world of selling. What lies at the root of this, the consequences of this, and how to fix it is the basic thrust of this series.
Sales is a challenging profession
The key words in the sub-title above are the adjective “challenging” and the noun “profession”. It is challenging and those who are unwilling to rise up to the challenge ought never enter it. It is precisely because it is a profession where mastery takes substantial effort that the stripes earned in sales are treasured – and rightly so. Those who enter it and are unwilling to rise to the challenge will eventually leave it. However, for far too many people, it is challenging for the wrong reasons. I will explain this, in detail, further down.
Denying that selling is a profession that takes as much effort, learning, and perfect practice to master as does any other profession reveals ignorance, prejudice, or perhaps, both. Part of this ignorance and prejudice is on display when the gung-ho extroverted sales person who makes things happen is contrasted with the sweet and quiet person who builds relationships and is willing to compromise to ensure that everybody walks away a winner. In relation to true effectiveness, both caricatures are just that – caricatures. Of course the stereotype that is propagated – even within the profession – is that the successful sales person is an extroverted (and sometimes hard charging) person who is willing to do what it takes to sign the deal. (In the video mentioned above, Daniel Pink states that empirical evidence shows that such gung-ho go getters are not more likely to succeed in sales than their introverted/quiet counterparts.) To my mind, this stereotype is what allows all kinds of charlatans to enter and thrive in sales – once they discover the way to game the system. This cannot last indefinitely, but for the period it does last, they end up causing grave damage.
The consequences of the pressures inherent in this profession make the dark side of sales appear really dark. Too many people in the profession undergo emotional and psychological abuse, deformation, conditioning, and scarring. I have met hundreds of them and I’m sure you have too. After a significant time spent selling, some sales people seem to acquire a persona and personality that is often completely at variance with their true selves. This in itself is tremendously damaging because a person cannot live in a state of conflict with himself or herself for the greater part of the work week and still be happy and fulfilled.
Another source of damage arises from the fact that selling is often an arena where power and leverage is sought and used – in order to “make the sale happen”. The search for, and use of power often makes it an emotionally charged interaction. The using of power is intimately connected with seeking to control others – to get them to make decisions they don’t want to take, or don’t feel emotionally safe and comfortable taking. The dynamic of power of course varies across the spectrum of those involved in the sale: buyers, sellers, middle men, competitors who are trying to upstage any of the previous three, regulatory authorities who have vested interests, or those who engage in rent-seeking behavior and can thereby prevent or derail the sale. The emotional and psychological pressures of dealing with all these can be very great.
Yet another deep challenge that sales offers is that of measuring, elevating, and rewarding effectiveness in a way that is not psychologically and emotionally deforming. Since results in sales can be easily tracked and measured (absolute values, percentages, ratios and more can be easily computed), those involved in sales can and often do develop an ineffective and destructive mindset that enthrones numbers, outcomes, and results. The manner in which performance is tracked and rewarded creates unhealthy, dysfunctional, and toxic competition. The pressures that people in it face daily to produce those “easily tracked and measured results” – is often strong enough to cause many otherwise good and decent people to engage in manipulation and deception – all in an effort to “close the sale”/“sign the deal”. Others who don’t like this cold-blooded approach swing to the opposite end and build relationships, go for win-win, and open themselves to all kinds of manipulation. They are often manipulated, repeatedly. When they become aware of it, they become embittered and psychological and emotional damage results, yet again.
There are dozens of other ways in which sales people are either exposed to emotional pressures and damage of all kinds, or expose themselves to such pressures and damage. The pressures arise from within and outside the team. To perceive one’s own team members as rivals defies the basic premise of teamwork. An organization that lumps people together so that it becomes easier to manage, track, or reward their performance, or one that seeks to grow while playing off one team member against another (or one branch, business unit, or operating geography against another) is essentially clueless about what teamwork is and what it is not.
Challenging dominant paradigms
When challenging conventional wisdom, it is important to keep in mind the existence of the backfire effect. This cognitive bias is one that all of us can easily fall into without realizing. An attempt to show a better, more effective, or more accurate way of perceiving reality can be deeply threatening to the narrative and the version people have built for themselves. Reality ends up as our nemesis only when we work at variance with it. When we work in conformity with it, it becomes our ally.
Too many sales professionals consider the damaging emotional and psychological effects to be “normal”. What this means is that they don’t even consider these effects as “damaging” or “abnormal”. They consider it to be part and parcel of sales, and the price that must be paid to excel in it. Sometimes, I even get the feeling that the implicit reasoning is “If you can’t bear the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
Many sales professionals are very defensive about the aspects of sales that I have raised in the preceding sub-section. This is not surprising. Many of my colleagues in my field of training and coaching become defensive when the issue of the effectiveness of training and coaching is raised. I know that those in the HR profession similarly become defensive when HR is called to provide justification for the budgets they demand/require or the initiatives they champion. Likewise, those in the legal profession become defensive when the issue of the excesses of lawyers is brought up; as do many doctors when the issue of medical malpractice comes up. Even teachers who make tremendous amounts of sacrifice in teaching young children become defensive when parents express concern about their teaching methods and/or how to improve learning in the classroom. Only a small minority of professionals in every field are willing to make the distinction between acknowledging things that are going wrong in that profession, being open and willing to take a hard look at the root causes and systemic impacts of what is going wrong, and not feel that this is a smear on the basic goodness and integrity of the people who are engaged in that profession. The backfire effect is universal.
Santhosh
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