Welcome to yet another installment of the ever popular and entertaining LETTERS TO BUDDYHEAD. For your enjoyment, we have once again carefully selected a very small portion of the mail we’ve received during the past months, and have posted it here for all to feast their drama hungry eyes upon. If you would like to be a LETTERS TO BUDDYHEAD “star”, it’s very easy. Just send your comment, question, complaint, bitch, moan, crybaby bullshit, or death threat to tmk@buddyhead.com or use the post man guy (
Buddyhead/po box 1268/Hollywood,CA/90078
). Just remember that by emailing Buddyhead, you agree that we can post your comments publicly here, and edit for size, spelling, help you look less retarded etc. etc. None of this stuff is bullshit or made up. We’re not even sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Let’s begin now…
Answered by Travis Keller
Every once in a while we get some good mail via the postman. Click here to check out some death threats we’ve received a while ago that we finally got around to scanning from some guy named Salvador. Hey Sal, we’re still alive… also, check out the past months letters to buddyhead here.
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From: “JIMMY” LIMPBIZ1FANJB@AOL.COM
Subject: FAGETS
U GUYS R FUCKING FAGETS..U JUST R JUST JELIOUS OF FRED..U PUSSYS..U WOULDNT SAY THAT IN HIS FACE..CAUSE HE WILL FUCK U UP.U PUSSY ASS FAGETS UP….LIMP BIZKIT IS BETTER THAN EVERYONE!!!FUCK ALL U GUYS
FUCK! NOBUDDY EVR PUT IT LIK THAT DOOD.. WE TOTULY UNDERSTAIND NOW! WE ARE ALL JUST JELIOUS PUSSY ASS FAGETS… THANX FOR POUNTING THIS OUT.. WE NOW RELISE LIMP BIZKIT IS BETTER THEN EVERYWUN. DURST ROOLS.
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From: “Natalie Imbruglia”
Subject: hello again my furry friends!
hello there mr and mrs buddyhead.
i see that you received my message about taking down my email address from your bigbadscary site. thanks for passing that on to your adoring public. every time my name gets mentioned, it sells more records!
well, that’s what jim says, but i don’t buy it.
see, this email thing wouldn’t be so bad if A) i was a lame motherfucker like fred durst and i deserved to be mailed “you’re hott!” [sic] messages from the puerile wankers who read your site… or if B) i never read my email. but i do. so, the puerile wankers are a distraction from the puerile people who actually matter to me.
so. could you take it down?
i mean, i understand i’m supposed to ignore you and that giving you attention just “makes matters worse”, but well, you’re presented me with a challenge, so i’m taking you up on it. i mean, it’s not as if i can get a great reaction by posting -your- email address to a “all b-list celebrity” website. and, though i suppose i could just submit gossip@buddyhead.com to a whole bunch of spammail and stock quote things, only 2 people have done that to me so far, so i don’t think you really deserve it.
so, as i was saying… please take down my email address?
thank you kindly, you big hardcore scary mean punk hardcore guys who think you’re hot shit.
cheers,
nat
Awwwwwwwww, Natalie! What’s new? Still waiting for another obscure L.A. band to write another song you can cover to get you back into the spotlight? All of this free time resulting from you being a one hit wonder causes you to worry about such trivial things like the damn internet. You are obviously taking this way too seriously, maybe that’s why we won’t take it down? Like you said, every time your name is mentioned you sell more records, so Buddyhead is actually doing you a favor! You’re welcome! Calm down there champ.
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From: “Buddy Head”
Subject: The name
Hello, I would like to find out who came up with the name Buddyhead, because
that is my real name, and I was just wondering if I know you or if it really is a random thing. Because if it is random I find that hard to believe. I come home and friends have put stickers all over my door, I use my credit card and get asked if I work for you, go out to eat and get asked things by the waiter. Help I need answers! I thought I would try to find out a little something for myself and since I can’t seem to escape explaining my name and have been pushed into being your mascot and public relations department I think that I should at least get A free T-shirt! Drop me a line to fill me in on the details about my new position.
BUDDY HEAD
Wow. Hi Buddy! So, I guess by default you have become our mascot. Of course we’ll give ya a t-shirt. You hafta hang out with us though. Who’s your buddy? Buddyhead.
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From: “Reed Rothchilde”
Subject: reviews
yo
your review section sucks. i wont bother sending you my shit anymore. its not the fact that they are bad reviews either, i can care less. its the fact they were written so poorly, without any thought. its embarrasing! i don't want to be involved with anyone who has this sort of mindset. its a waste of time and bandwidth. i want you to send my review copies back, please. they were LOANED to you, not given away. i
will not waste my hard earned $ on a websitte like this. thank you. my address is on the back of the cds. please dont write back, i don't care- just send my cds back. the end.
reed/troubleman
Hey Reed, the only thing that’s embarrassing is how serious you take yourself, your label, and something as trivial as record reviews. Lighten up dude. I’ll send you back you “your cds that were loaned to us” when you figure out how to give me back the chunk of my life I wasted listening to that shit. Oh, wait… no I won’t… I sold them.
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From: “Wesley leon A”
Subject: songs
hey man,
im 16yrs old and started writing some lyrical poems abt 5 motnths ago.. they arent tht great…but i need some gd views from u guys… like do mi songs potential?? u can see them at mi frens webiste at http://www.saunalahti.fi/~ramipa/ pls do vist the site…. most of mi songs are tehre. any views will be reallly appreciated…. thanx once agn and pls email me back..
wesley aroozoo.
Singapore.
anyways heres two-3 songs i wrote before,
1.Soul Song
200101-escape
Stay there , take your time . -This is my Soul Song!!
You’re cured by this Soul Song,
[ Yeaa…]
Cured by this remedy , where theres no need for a melody.
This is my Soul Song , – And I hope you like it.
Cured , by this pure cure.
You’re cured by this Soul Song ,
Cured by this remedy , where theres no need for a melody.
This is our Soul Song.
I’m trying……
Three feet away,
Another day.
Outcast heresy of yet to say.
It’s a mild tradition and I’m disfigured why , – Can you remember my
feeble
cry ?
These soulless pleasures walk the ground , hoping to be lost and found.
Wear the crown , these senseless needs , my soulless pleasures.
My heart beats twice a beat , Never-never felt complete .
To you my soul will we ever meet ?
Can I see you ? Can you see me ?
Should I breathe a new ?
Many , many from a few , – All I’m witnessing is it true ?
Till then , all I longed is my Soul Song.
I’m searching for my Soul Song .- This free eating peanut butter and war.
Where the land reaps with fate , no such as hate.
This place , -Where nothing can ever go wrong .
Touch the sky , feel the breeze.
A dream where you and I , you and I belong.
I’m leaving now , – My hopeful hopes , far behind.
Letting my heart take over my mind.
I’m so confused and I need another sign ,
I don’t wanna wait in line and re-enact this solemn mine , – All, all I
need
I some time.
I feel it in me, – You cant buy it.
I feel it in me, – You cant sell it.
I feel it in me, – You cant hide it. [ never …yea…]
I feel it in me , feel it in me, feel it in me , feel it in me.
Felt my soul , its like heavens told . – I’m paralysed.
All I need is some time…..
I’m trying to understand my Soul Song.
2.Solitude Confusions(mixed)
271020-191120
If i could stop the stings of time ,
Layed nicely on the shape of a dime.
I would scour for the key of illusion,
To open up the lockless door of our solitude confusions.
Pointless running from our troubles in an endless chase.
Never once did we stop and gaze at what was beyond this haze.
Lets just get it on…..
If we wanna see the reflection we wanna see,
then we all gotta be who we wanna be.
The skys are sullen and slate grey,Wat we need today is the sun to shine
the
way…….
To our dismay.
To escape our solitude confusions,
Erase this surfeit of hate..
We cant hesistate cause we’re gonna be the bait.
So we gotta stop this mindless thinking from affecting our heads ,
Or our troubles are gonna percipitate.
Our minds in a tangle ,
Denying a two-sided triangle.
We have to warm ourselves by this cold fire,
Be in the shoes of a running fox,open up the pandora’s box and cross the
frozen seas.
Now dont worry people,
Juz flip back the pages of our diary and relieve our once called mystery,
And without a doubt ,we all can flood our so called droughts.
If we wanna see the reflection we wanna see ,
Then we all gotta be who we wanna be.[2x]
We all gotta be who we wanna be,
To escape this solitude confusions……….
3.Somethings(world peace)
080101-190101
Somethings my memory cant hide.
Somethings sorry can hardly describe
I am left speaking with my blood torn lips,
Played with a childs mind,had a really weak spine.
Realised theres only one planet to live in,
Tracked my lost of time and left my name, creeping close behind.
My state of mind,
Theres a swing in the opposition, to spurn the rise of an incarnation.
A curse of my imagination, at the wrong time.
The voice of time feels so hydrated,
Every single drop of life totally evaporated.
We have a guilt on our face, a criminal guilt at the face of music.
And at once we knew it,these feelings….
These feelings are totally misplaced.
These feelings no man dared to confer.
Feelings with human dealings.
Feelings with world peace!!
For somethings are not meant to happen today,
Theres nothing left for me to say
Now everybodys under the darkened sun.
I never remembered the last time as I thought there be another one.
Buried underground, never forgive.
Benevolent threats can never perceive.
This pollution, I cant breathe.
World peace will one day be at ease.
Somethings, somethings
Somethings, somethings…..
The shadow has cast a touch,
A touch I never felt.
Frosted watery souls, sadly misheld.
Brought to the edge, they don’t melt.
The human wolf, no man has reared.
The evident lies were never cleared.
Once its feared,it will be sheared.
The human wolf it will be sheared.
For somethings have left me teared,
Somethings are better left unheared.
Thanx for ur time agn… and pls do vist the site for the rest of the songs.. thanx for ur time Thanx a million, wes.
Amazing. You’re signed.
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From: anna@insound.com
Subject: feedback
the “new” buddyhead store is simply lumberjack distro as a retail solution. brilliant.
Hey Sherlock Anna… DUH! Nobody here claimed otherwise you. Now go huff some more Insound dong, and be a good little intern. Also, you’ll be excited to know that our new store, which is just us, will be up in a few weeks!!! Then we’ll be like all diy and shit… how fucking excited are you!!!!?!?!?! Dork.
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From:
Subject: hey
PLEASE take our phone number off.
Thank you,
Michelle
Fearless Records
Naw brah.
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From: Honkey Demon
Subject: just bored
marko-
i am bored as shit right now, so i decided to read your “tidbits” section, and the sex advice column that you now write.
all i have to say is that it is fucking great that you are writing the sex advice column now instead of that emo bitch dean.
emo kids don’t know how to fuck. they are all a bunch of little whiney pussies. Straight Edge fuckers, and emo kids were who I hung out with in highschool… I was never emo or straight edge, but in the suburban area I was from if you liked music that wasn’t completely mainstream you had to hang out with them… it was either that or jocks…
to tell you the truth, I had stopped reading the sex advice because of Dean. he looked like every other emo kid with their “messy” $40 haircuts and their tight ass blue jeans… what a little bitch.
anyway, I am just bored and I thought I would write you and tell you what a great job you are doing so keep it up
later, DRM
I believe I will also now incorporate the phrase “emo bitch” into my vocabulary… quite effective as well as poignant.
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From: “Senator Longmore”
Subject: (no subject)
This is a demand letter. I have sent numerous e-mails asking you to remove this account from your e-mail list. If you do not stop sending these e-mails, I will be forced to take legal action. Remove this account IMMEDIATELY and send me an e-mail notifying me that this has occurred.
Senator Ryan Longmore
Die pig.
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From: “E-ROC D BEGG”
Subject: Fuck you
so i go to see the dillingre escape plan at the kniting factory and I enjoyed the show……….well somewhat…………i thought the drummer was amazing seeing as how(i heard) he went to berkely school of music…………the lead guitarist was great amazing vanhalen style finger tapping and slayer style solos and his manerisms were a good effect as well………the bassist got the job done…….and the rhythm guy was good but he kept whining about his equipment…………now then lets get to the singer………..he sucked……….flat out sucked ass………first off he was arrogant thought he was all bad……….he had pussy black man sideburns………and his voice was terrible…………it was embarrassing to watch him………dillinger needs to get rid of him and get sombody who will at least get the job done……..ha ha and his shirt that was even more pathetic……..what a fucking sellout how anti indie can he get………how much did u guys pay him or do for him to get him to wear that thing?………..honestly he was advertising u guys…………simply fucked up and pathetic………somone has lost their self respect and integrity………whats the difference between him and any other mainstream lead singer?………..oh well………buddyhead sucks
once again
It’s your lucky day! Dimitri, Dillinger’s singer, has left the group… that means you can try out for the open position! Good luck spanky!
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From:
Subject: Re: BUDDYHEAD IS FOR THE CHILDREN
stop writing ot me i ma 9 years old
LOOK AT THE SUBJECT OF THE EMAIL WE SENT YOU!!! IT’S NO LIE!!!
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From: HolJonMit@aol.com
Subject: Does The Icarus Line need a drummer?
Hi there- My name is Jonathan Mitchell and I play drums and percussion. I also sing backups. I am writing to you in the event (unfortunate, but quite common!) that you are in search of a drummer for your band. Or maybe you HAVE a great drummer, but would like to add a percussionist! I play djembe, congas, timbales, bongos, shakers, chimes, bells, whistles, and all that stuff. I also sing backup vocals and have a great ear for it.
I have worked with Macy Gray, Gallagher (yes, the comedian!),Possum, Supreme Beings of Leisure, as well as with members of Santana, Tom Petty, Eric Clapton, Tower of Power and Blackstreet. I’ve had the fortune of working with such notable producers as Teddy Riley, Paul Barrere, David Lindley, and Jose “Chilitos” Valenzuela. I have toured from LA to the Midwest to the Caribbean to Vietnam! I will be happy to join on any band that has major mgmt., producer, or label affiliation. Or else just work as a “hired gun” and do gigs around town for a nominal fee trying to procure major representation.
I have an excellent reputation not only as a player, but also as a punctual, professional, and fun person to work with. I have been doing pro work around town for the last 6 years and really love playing most every style. While I am predominantly a rock/pop drummer, I also play funk, salsa, country, R&B, celtic, reggae, ska, and calypso. Please don’t be alarmed. I really play them all well!
Some drum Gods to me (and influences):
Dennis Chambers
John Bonham
Clyde Stubblefield
Stuart Copeland
Billy Cobham
Chad Smith
Manu Katche
Poncho Sanchez
Martin Chambers
Prairie Prince
Sly Dunbar
Get the idea?
Check out my website by clicking on this hyperlink;
http://www.jonathanmitchell.com/
(if you aren’t getting this as a highlighted “hyperlink”, you can manually punch in the address. It’s www.jonathanmitchell.com
You can also hear my drumming at the following websites:
www.vidapop.com
( http://www.vidapop.com/ )
www.cdbaby.com/medina
( http://cdbaby.com/medina )
www.gallaghersmash.com
(!! Gallagher Smash: Sledge-O-Matic and More !!)
Thanks, Jonathan Mitchell
310-477-8785
Hey Jonathan, now that you mention it, I think The Icarus Line could benefit from a percussionist to sprucen up the sound. You could choreograph an encore consisting of you getting ill on the chimes, bells, and whistles, while they smash melons a la Gallagher into oblivion with their guitars.
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From:
Subject: i’m a swingin utters wife
and I just wanted to say sorry. next time we’ll bring the poopy diapers with us and i didn’t realize fucking wives weren’t invited to the shows.
-Sara
Dude, this is rocknroll… there’s no wives in rocknroll and there’s for damn sure no poopy diapers.
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From: distortio11@home.com
Subject: taste?
I’m a big supporter of individual opinion. You guys claim to have your own idividual opinions. You back up this claim by seeming very provocative and blunt towards popular culture. I believe this claim. I then read best/worst of 2000 list (note: this is not a reaction to the “worst of” part because I dislike most of the same bands). I proceed to notice that your best list is practically the same as Spin magazine’s best of, maybe with a little CMJ thrown in. Good job proving to me all music journalists are wanna be rock stars who couldn’t write or recognize a good song to save their life, so instead they make a profession out of stating opinions (about other people’s art) that they think will make them look “with it” to their peers. Sorry, you guys are great. Rock on with your cock on. Which guy from Tool used to be a rock journalist? Oh yeah, none of them did. They were too busy writing music.
See, the way those “best of” lists work, is that they aren’t a contest to see who can cite the most obscure bands possible, they actually are to point out which albums were really good. And when an album is really good, people hear about it and talk about it, hence it ends up on many lists. This isn’t brain surgery. By the way, our list included Shat, Hot Snakes, Kool Keith, Tool, Frodus, The Convocation Of…, Ink and Dagger, Rob Halford etc. I didn’t see those on Spin or CMJ’s list so somebody here is guilty of giving me the idiot shivers. Which guy are you in Tool? Oh yeah, you aren’t in that or any other band either. You’re too busy reading our site.
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From: “pa215hxc”
Subject: TERRIBLE ONE
In the photo of you guys in Spin, there is a guy wearing a Terrible One T shirt, Does he ride BMX?
He’s our lawyer. Don’t fuck with us, he was in Shelter. He also represents a few pro BMXers. They probably kicked him down some free shit.
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From:
Subject: smooth balls
whats up buddyhead i just wanted to say that our record was the worst record of 1999 and not 2000 (rxbandits). I dont know if you guys answer email but I was just wondering if James is going to be a permanant addition to the site, I think his photography is great and he is a cool guy so that would be kick ass.
matt
It was so bad, it didn’t matter what year it was made in. James may have more stuff up soon, in the meantime… go play ska.
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From:
Subject: i own a gun and want to review shit
I own a gun and hey i want to review shit.
matt
No. We already told you.. go play Ska.
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From:
Subject: Your Lame Website
Let me get this straight. The premise of your site is some gay guys with all the machismo of frat boys spouting inane urban monikers such as “bling-bling”, “yo”, and “eat a fat dick”, and forcing your uninformed opinions and general stupidity on all of us. I read your “manifesto” and numerous letters, reviews, etc…on the site as I don’t like to judge before finding out a little more of what’s going on. It didn’t take me long before I had seen enough. You are all not funny in the least and your reviews, “gossip”, and letter responses are pathetic. How old are all of you? Or do you all just act that way because of insecurity? I bet you all had really awful upbringings and had to endure terrible hardships to get where you are now at the esteemed “buddyhead.com”! No one has had it as tough as you right?! Your “site” is so loaded with hypocrisy it is almost sickening. The sad thing is that some of these people send you letters and they actually think you are funny and doing someone a favor by fucking with everyone you encounter. Don’t kid yourselves. Oh…and your bands fucking suck worse than anything you gave a bad review to (except for things that anyone should know is going to be lame and not bother with reviewing, i.e. Limp Bizquit, Linkin Park, Kid Rock, etc.). I guess I have more of a problem with the fact that you are such elitist fucking pricks about how you do the reviews, than with the reviews themselves. It is possible to critique something without resorting to grade school name-calling and sexual references. But that’s probably all you have to work with anyway isn’t it? It seems to be what you like and do best so here’s something out of everything I’ve said that you can relate to. Lets start with your site name.you should have just gone completely over the top and called it buddyrimjob.com or buddyhandjob.com. All would have been equally as clever and equally as gay! Is that some sort of arrangement you guys have worked out in case any of you gets lonely? Do you all like to relax after work and circle jerk listening to Elton John? Is that something gay guys do? You all seem to want to tell us so much about it, why not just start a little column on your site for Q and A? You know.like what’s the best anal lubricant, which one of you gives the best head and other personal shit that most people don’t want to know about you. Oh.I hope this goes up on your site so I can go back and laugh at it later. And more importantly.laugh at you! Send me an e-mail kids and I’ll be more than happy to put you in your place. I’m glad to have taken some of your valueless time today and would like to say to one and all at buddyhead.com .fuck you.
Seems kinda weird that you find us “all not funny in the least” and “pathetic”, yet you still continue to read every nook and cranny of our site. Why are you torturing yourself like this? Don’t beat yourself up. No one is forcing you to read what we write. Go watch Oprah, she’s known for being real nice to everyone. It’s a happy program. It’ll make you happy. You know, If I read something that I didn’t find entertaining, and downright insulting, I’d quit reading it. Kind of a logical step… fire is close to my arm, fire is hot, fire burns me, remove fire. It seems to me that you enjoy the discomfort our site gives you. Does this problem relate to anything else in your life? Do you ever find yourself returning to really shitty restaurants and gorging your fat ass with uncooked meat only to make yourself sick? Do you ever cut yourself? Stop the madness. Stop the self hate. Call someone.
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From: “J. Williams”
Subject: Never ender
I have a Russian neighbor that apparently is using a ratchet until the wee hours of the morn, every weeknight. On the weekends he fucks whores and listens to U2 and Blink 182. I’m not kidding. Every Friday and or Saturday he has call girls over to his place, blasts pop music, and fucks a whore. If you saw this guy, and crunched the numbers,, you would know that he couldn’t get a hot chick to save his crewcut and vodka filled life. He looks like a guy from Saved by the Bell. Not one of the cool ones either. This is the guy that buys cheap suede letterman jackets and make-shift acid wash jeans.
My question is why does this Russian guy use a fucking ratchet at 2:45 am on Thursday? In my building no less! Our apartments are very simple here. There is nothing you could use a ratchet on. Is he buying things to use a ratchet on? Is he amused by the sound? Does he have a car in his 486 sq. foot studio apartment? Is he pissed at FDR and the constant swearing? Why doesn’t Windex taste as good as it fucking looks? Why can’t I buy Ink and Dagger shit in a retail store? Mail order is a pain in the ass!
We’re not sure why you can’t buy Ink & Dagger in the store. Why don’t you call our distributor and ask them why that is… their number is 419.726.3930, ask for Lumberjack.
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From: “Casey Carbonneau”
Subject: NOFX
what the fuck. i was reading some past gossips, and you guys made fun of NOFX. where the hell did that come from. If there’s any anti-jock rock band it’s fucking NOFX. Want proof, “It’s my job to keep punk rock elite/this music aint your fucking industry” Fat Mike’s the illest motha fucker in town
Correction, he is the fattest motha fucker in town.
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From: SoCalDad4U@aol.com
Subject: Re: Fred Durst REALLY doesn’t like us now.
Amazed and impressed with the cock shots from New Year’s Eve in latest issue. Very daring. Keep up the good work pushing the envelope. Skaters rule!
Frank
Dear “SoCalDad4U”,
You have once again evoked a unanimous YIKES! from the entire Buddyhead staff.
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From: Travis Lambert trav_ass@hotmail.com
Subject: the river of hypocrisy flows deep throught the valley of buddyhead
dear whoever at buddyhead,
why is it the your gossip/news section on your site always slips in disses to fat, epitaph and vagrent (emotaph as your gossip writer so wittingly put it) and yet your main menu page is chalk full of banners for these very same labels. now call me lame (which you probly will and toss this e-mail into the trash and never give it a 2nd though) but, isn’t spouting off on how big and commercial certain labels are and then turning around having them pay you to in a way endorse their artists kind of hypocritical? i love the site. i’m not saying you should stop running the banners or stop dissing labels who pay you. i’m just pointing out a contradiction i saw and wanted to give ya’ll nod.
lata, travass
Nobody here has ever “spouted off” on how big and commercial certain labels are. We don’t care about that. The only thing that concerns us is whether or not these labels put out good records or not. If a record sucks, it sucks. If it’s good it’s good. Who cares if it’s on a major or indie. If a record label wants to give us money to advertise their band, great. It doesn’t mean we are fans of the band, and it doesn’t mean the record will get a good review on Buddyhead.
From: “hughseph pooseph”
Subject: the lost art of dog training
what are you dam well talking about lagwagon shit all over ink and daggar. why do you all fuck ink and daggar up the arse so hard. oh thats right coz your all fags. well “duh” is the best punk rock, emo, glam-rock, harcore-metal-indie release ever. long live pop punkers with baggy jeans and wallet chains. lets face it pop punk dudes get heaps of chicks.
love pooseph
Pop punk dudes… that’s funny.
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From: “Casey O’Neill”
Subject: “your” vs. “you’re”
I feel kind of bad writing with nothing but praise for Aaron Icarus, but if anyone is more deserving of praise at this time let him/her step forward.
In the review of The Ataris “End is..whatever”, Mr. Icarus quite rightly calls attention to the fucking stupidity of using “your” in place of “you’re”. I don’t know which would be worse: 1) Being so stupid as to not understand the proper usage of the two words, or 2) Being so fucking lazy as
to not add a fucking apostrophe and the letter “e”.
Thank you for calling attention to this all too common mistake, and exposing The Ataris for the grammatically-challenged numbnuts they are.
Long may BUDDYHEAD rule.
Thanks. Now buy a shirt.
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From:
Subject: please remove
please remove this from your list. no longer in music business. thanks so much
Not in the music business? Neither are we, so you get to stay on!
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From: Rick@punkrockonline.com
Subject: ANFG
Any reason why you dont a have an a new found glory review? I once took a shit and it was purple. I was really, really scared, so i thought i should show it to a doctor. So i grabbed the piece of shit, got in my car, drove to the doctor’s office and waited in the waiting room for about an hour. Turns out the lighting in my bathroom were just wierd. So i brought the shit home to be sure. You can still see shit stains on my steering wheel.
New Found Glory and purple shit? Strangely enough, it actually does make sense.
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From: “johnennis $”
Subject: phil
Hey:
i was just wondering why no attention, be it negative or positive, is ever given to phil. the phil from pantera. boy, he’s super.
“whoa, whoa, whoa, back up ho.”
-phil
johnennis
Now that you mention it, Phil does deserve some attention. A personal favorite Phil quote is “smoke fuckin dope”. PANFUCKINGTERA. Btw, we’ll be at the Pantera/Slayer show coming up in LA and Vegas… see you there.
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From: “kell .g.”
Subject: hey
hey you…
sorry i havent been around that much..erin called me up and told me to come to conn and i ended up staying for 3 days..i’ll have to tell you about why she asked me to come in person…that’s a whole other issue but anways im sorry i missed your birthday i heard it was awesome…and i know it’s taken me a looong ass time to respond to that letter..you know me..but i just really wanted to think about it before i got back to you you know?? to tell you the truth i think it was really sweet…i think that if your willing to see what happens than i am as well…well anyways..i hope i see you in school cuz you are never ever there! take care and write or call me….my
phone still works??
kellen
Wha?
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From:
Subject: Hello, and Help
hi,
I was just made aware that my kid sister entered herself in the Outkast contest, but shes only 11 and I think she lied about her age and shes just a little shithead. She went though my bookmarks and stuff and you guys are on it because Buddyhead is so rad, but the little bitch is not allowed on computers and stuff, so if you can just take her name and info out of the running of the contest I'll love ya even more than I love ya now! Thanks and I'm sorry that she did this.
The real Melanie
Well Melanie, after all, Buddyhead is for the children. You should be encouraging her to be here and listening to Outkast than be buying Backstreet Boys albums like her friends.
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From: rugby@surfsouth.com
Subject: travis keller
Why don’t you quit wasting our time reviewing bullshit rap and really listen to some of the other great bands you are neglecting (Hot Water, & The Grateful Dead). If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all when it comes to one of the most important bands in history fucker.
a Fan
Shoot yourself in the face hippy.
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From: “Damon J.”
Subject: hmm, looks like i disagree with a review
to aaron icarus,
i believe that you are wrong about the stryder. i enjoy the group very much so. Yes you can say that my opinion is slightly tainted because i'm friends with peter toh (the lead guitarist), but i think that your review is tainted also because you failed to see the sarcasm on the cover, and other pictures on the cd. also i think that your review may be off because oh, maybe, as you explained in your article, you didn't even listen to the cd. ok what the hell, you didn't like the cover, this section of the website clearly states in big black letter "MUSIC REVIEWS". not music artwork. also, how could someone appreciate this kind of music anyway when you listen to tool. so i guess it's not totally your fault because you started out with a bad taste in music. so in other words fuck you.
-damon
It also clearly states on our music reviews section that we will say whatever the fuck we feel like. If record labels don’t like it they can stop sending us cd’s. Hahahaha… yeah dude, Tool sucks and Stryder rules? Do everybody a favor and jump off a bridge.
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From: “shane sutton”
Subject: what up
hi my name is shane. I do not know what excatly what is website is but i must have signed up for it. Do you know of any record companies because i want to get in
to that industry. thanks for responding
Yeah. Your best bet to get into the “industry” is coming back to Buddyhead twice a day, buying a Buddyhead t-shirt, and all of our records. Good luck.
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From: “fonem”
Subject: Re: WE ARE HEADING TO COACHELLA WITH A HANKERING FOR DONG!
I also would like some dong. It looks like I will be going down to Coachella. I expect to find you guys dressed up as pirates for me.
Wanna hook up?
hit me back! DONG! MMM!
-Shelly
[http://www.fonem.org]
Wow.
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From: Tom Dupere
Subject: Ha Ha
i own a pair of socks with the number 3 and a dead mans name on them, but i am not a race fan. what could all of this mean? we may never know. anyways i was wondering if the OFER MOSES listed on the staff list was the same OFER MOSES that was in poweredge skate mag many many years ago? very well then, goodnight. t.d.
That is THE Ofer Moses who was in Poweredge skate mag. It’s so fun to work with the famous type. As for the socks, we’re as lost as you are. Wear flip-flops.
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From: “Joshy Clay”
Subject: my new shirt
hey guys
i just got my new buddyhead ‘fist in the air in the land of hypocrisy’ t-shirt and all the brothas on floor 3 now think im tha illest thing since puff daddy redid zeppelin. way to bridge the racial gap! and now my girlfriends on me like a fat kid ona cupcake too. all thanx to the spiffed new shirt.
thanx buddyhead!
clay in PA
That’s what we’re here for.
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From:
Subject: Re: NEW BUDDYHEAD!
Hi, I was wondering if you guys were looking for bands at all right now for the label?
Blag? Consider your band, the Dwarves, signed.
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From:
Subject: tha last meal review
don’t you think maybe you’re overthinking snoop? that review was shit. that album is precisely what he says it is in “intro”:an album to light up a fat blunt to. white people overthink music. just listen to that tune where he does no rapping and sings.. and then listen to the way the vocals on almost all songs are so fuckin layered and he talks back to his own lyrics. he’s created a stoner masterpiece and that is all you can expect from him. dre did more than just that answering machine message too. he produced i think 3 songs. if you want to talk about the shitty parts..i point to master p and that one ridiculous song towards the end of the cd where they talk about
killing people and such at a dast annoying yelling pace…
Do we think we’re over thinking snoop? No. But you’re over thinking the review.
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From: “XXX .”
Subject: 666999
Hey stupid faggots
The Koufax record is hot as hell. And I live in Texas so I know slimy stinky hot. Given, it’s the gayest record I have heard since ATDI’s homo side project “Buttercup” but that’s not the point. Its like a rimjob man. Its about how it makes you feel brother!!!!! or maybe being gay is the point?
Either way its getting really fucking hot in Texas and if I end up smearing myself on another man,then fuck it. I must be Crazy From The Heat.
lust,
Dirty-C
Go take a cold shower captain.
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From: “USELESS I.D”
Subject: rock and roll.
hi there, my name is ishay,and i’m writing you from israel.
i’m wanna to tell you that going through buddyhead is my faivorite thing to do on the net for a long while now,and that i enjoy your (and aaron icarus as well…) record reviews alot! you guys are great.
i also noticed you really hate the vandals and kung fu records,and I looked farward to the day you’ll slam my band (useless id). your review on the kung fu sampler was really awesome (hey,i’d love to know whats the story with the ataris photo,too,if you’ll be so kind.). i would love to get to meet you guys someday,and also,i’ll make sure to send you our new record once its out.
look farward to hear frm you,a big fan,ishay from israel.
Can’t wait to hear it dude.
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From: “Anthony Santaniello”
Subject: what pansies
you guys are pathetic, socially retarded individuals that hide behind a pseudo-hardcore facade. it may have impressed all of your cronies back in grade school, but it fails to succeed as a viable lifestyle here in the real world. do us all a favor and get out of the music industry.
i hope your label fails miserably,
anthony
Did we just get asked to leave the music industry? We didn’t know we were involved. Did he really say pseudo-hardcore facade? Amazing… we’re speachless.
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From: Kris Anaya
Subject: Statement to BuddyHead
Hello,
BuddyHead, what’s going on wiht the site and the trash talking? it seems over the years buddy head has become BuddyRap. If i wanted to read about how a rap record is doing i would turn to the MTV for that kind of support because i am pretty shure they have more information then you. This letter is nothing for disrespect just to make a statement from a long buddyhead fan it’s pretty much gone from to Boyset’sfire is Rockin to boy set’s fire is Shit and why is there is no diss on johana or his albums? hmm? maybe you guys will have a nice time dissing Revolution smile “sean’s far new band” when they get an album out i honestly think you pick favorites here ? well maybe you need to take a step back and listen to albums a little bit more and stop being so selfish about what you think 1. I am into any music that sounds good Probably like any other person on your site but you need to take a look further into the music no about the band know that how saves the day is young 19 years old or how eminem probably doesnt make his own beat but dr. dre does well anyways no disreaspect i just want honest feed back about waht’s going please give me decent and very fairful comment back, i think it wouldnt be right to get a rude comment back and i thank you for your time
p.s hopefully this makes since, if not i can calirfy it too you when i am not writting at 4:00 in the morning well i am beart night and morning
kris
Kris, we have no idea what you just said at all.
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From: “dave leto”
Subject: BUDDYHEAD
i like your website
i like guns n roses even more
keep up the good work
thats some funny sheot
whats shat?
love
dave
rye coalition
Shat is the future of music.
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From:
Subject: for Aaron
You fucking genius! First you gave Dead Meadow a favorable review, and they deserve it (they’re nice guys). But, the Donna’s review.. I’ve printed it, and planning on framing it. I never could understand why they are adored by the masses. You’re the first to give them an unflattering review. Kudos to you. Perhaps it had something to do with the email I sent them a few days ago..
Subj: Donnas%20Web%20Feedback
Date: 2/17/01 1:47:08 AM Eastern Standard Time
From: DeadAttila
To: mneuman71@yahoo.com
So, you’d think by the time you “turned 21″ you’d have some valuable life experience under your belt, you’d start writing prolific songs. Ahh, we had such high hopes. I myself wonder what a jam session with you girls would be like. Here’s a shot in the dark..
“Hey Donna, I’ve got this killer idea for song!” exclaimed Donna.
“Oh, Donna, don’t keep me waiting, well, what is it Donna, what is it?” Donna responded eagerly.
“Well, Donna, it’s this song about me smoking pot with this guy, and really wanting him.. perhaps we could make up some cute little metaphor involving, I don’t know, candy..” replied Donna, pleased with herself.
There’s also this silly obsession with rhyming couplets, no matter how ridiculous. You reduce our age group into something so trivial, it’s embarrassing. The Rondelles are no prize, but they just do it so much
better than you.
As for the Motley Crue fix, you’re either joking or your taste in music is almost as horrible as your own.
The other Brett Anderson could teach you some magic. Now learn.
Truly,
Vera-Zohra
I am sorry, I had to share this with you, because you’ve touched me.
Thank You,
Zohra
PS Also loved your grammar lesson. For so many reasons..
Ahhh yes. Buddyhead preaches the gospel known as truth.
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From: “Brad Brown”
Subject: your reviewers are idiots
I just wanted to write in and let you knwo how stupid the person or people are that did the best and worst albums of 2,000. Someone said related boy sets fire to a ska/punk band, I wonder has that perosn ever even listened to boy sets fire. They have no ska influence what so ever and if anything they are a mix of emo and hardcore. And someone said no good music ever came out of florida, what the hell is keepsake then? Also the stryder and and saves the day got bad reviews and tool and deftones went downhill bad and they got great reviews…… it’s amazing how you idiots consider a white version of odb good and boy sets fire bad…please respond i wanna see what you idiots have to say, perhaps mock a speeling mistake i made…clever ones…..
You spelled “know” wrong.
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From: “Big Jon”
Subject: hey
I actually thought some of the shit you said in the CD reviews were funny. Bagging on Shit Bizkit and Fred Durst was cool, but it's obvious to me now that you are a fucking moron. Ok, let me think....you like Madonna, but you fucking talk shit on GOOD bands such as THE ATARIS, USELESS ID, and NEW FOUND GLORY...and you like Blink 182??? You're a fucking dipshit! I can't think of ONE band worse than Blink 182! They DO NOT write good songs you fucknut! Do you like I give a fuck about "all the small things" or "aliens exist"??? They are so fucking lame. Let me guess, you're a fucking 13 year old loser with no life writing reviews on bands while dancing around in your underwear listining to "DAMMIT." Go fuck off you cunt. Oh, and by the way, check out a GOOD band www.upsyndrome.com You should learn what real music is, fag.
Isn’t hating Blink and liking those other bands kinda like hating Nirvana and listening to Bush?
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From: “Pema Douma”
Subject: Boy what a weird week
Hi my name's Pema. I know about you because of Emily Macy.
I'm a web designer and a musician and a severe music fan and I would love to
combine my two big obsessions (music and design) and make a bit of money off
it at the same time.
So I was wondering if you have any design work I could do? I love your main
horizontal layout, it rocks (I do that, too), but some of your subsections,
like the sex advice one, could use a makeover. I can make 'em look really,
really gorgeous (or really ugly, whatever you want), really cheap. I go for
about $10 an hour. You get the first four hours free. Fucking steal you guys
are getting. 'Cause I'm very good at what I do and I'm desperate for cash.
Enough talk anyway, check me out at http://www.lotusboy.com ...that's the
site I use to try to impress people with... And http://icky.entropic.nu
...which is kind of my labour of love.
Musical interests include Radiohead, Trans Am, Squarepusher, Sloan, Elliot
Smith... Aghh... Bunch of others, it's on my website.
Ta taa... Keep it up!
Haha. 10 bucks an hour. How about… NAH BRAH.
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From: Matt H. mattshse@sonic.net
Subject: Worst-
Limp Bizkit
“Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water”
Interscope
The worst record to come out in a long time. Can anybody name one good thing musically that has ever came out of Florida? How about just one good thing at all?
Hot Water Music, you dumbshits! There’s one good thing! Other than that, I can’t think of anything at the moment.
-Matt
NAH BRA!
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From: “Andrew Fisher”
Subject: 1 good thing to come from florida....bloodlet
You asked for someone to tell you of 1 good band to come out of florida and
BLOODLET is your 1 thing
andy
NAH BRA!
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From: “Juan Simons”
Subject: correction
two words: pink lincolns. i'm sure you've heard them, and i'm sure you know
that they are damn good. probably just slipped your mind when poking fun at
flori-duh.
NAH BRA!
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From: “Brian M Faber”
Subject: florida
Palatka and End Of the Century Party came out of floriday. they own ass.
NAH BRA!
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