12 Solutions that Eliminate the Need for Self-Discipline
What if you didn’t have to struggle with self discipline? Would your days go better? Would you sell more homes? Would you have a better life? No doubt the answer is definitely YES to all of these questions.
The good news is that there is a very acceptable solution to constantly fighting with self-discipline.
Here it is – it’s not about self-discipline… it’s all about HABITS. It’s about creating strong habits that serve your purposes best. Habits that help you focus more on working with home buyers and home sellers who need your services.
Let’s start at the front end. My definition of a habit is this…
A Habit is something that just happens, you don’t have to think about it, it just comes up and takes place.
It is as automatic as flicking on your turn indicator when you’re about to turn right. No thinking – it just happens.
Legendary swimmer Michael Phelps won 23 medals in the Olympics, 19 of them gold. His last gold medal was earned in the Summer Olympics in Beijing in 2008. The event was the 200 m butterfly… his signature event. Halfway through the race he ran into trouble…his goggles filled up half way through the race and he swam blind for the last two lengths. How did he do that? How did he swim half the race not knowing where he was and not only win the race but set a world record in doing so?!!!
Michael Phelps
When asked, he replied, “I just followed the routine I always follow – in hindsight, I guess nothing was really any different whether I could see or not”. Michael stuck with the habits he had always followed when swimming the 200 m butterfly. His habits took over when he needed them most. He just carried on and “did his job”. Your habits can serve you the same way.
This blog will show you how to develop a series of powerful habits to eliminate the need for self-discipline. I’m talking about habits that will consistently keep you on track and take you where you want to go in your real estate sales business. I’m going to show you a series of amazing habits that you can take on that will eliminate the need for self discipline.
Here is a very important distinction to get us started… author Charles Duhigg made it very clear in his bestseller –“The Power of Habit”…that you don’t change a habit, you actually replace a habit. He went on to say that to improve yourself “you can be selective, you just replace a bad habit with a better one.”
We’re going to look at these habits using the following agenda:
Some General Habits to look at from 10,000 feet…habits to get you started
Some “How I Think Habits”… mindset habits that will help you stay on the right path
5 Action Step Habits… habits that will affect things you do every single day
“10,000 FOOT” HABITS
Habit #1. Be Clear on Your Big Picture Wishes
Be Clear on Your Big Picture Wishes
Be very clear at all times on exactly what you want. Use your big picture wishes as your beacon to guide everything you do, especially when things get tough. Example: your next door neighbour lists his home with a competitor or that homebuyer you’ve been helping falls in love with an open house and signs on the spot.
Spencer West is handicapped. He does not have any legs. On June 12, 2012 Spencer successfully climbed Mount Kilimanjaro! Google him and you will see a video of him climbing 19,000 feet using his knuckles to move him up the mountain. It was an incredible achievement! Do you think there might have been sometimes when he wanted to stop – times when Spencer wanted to quit? Here’s the key, his big picture was to raise $1 million for Free the Children Project in Kenya. That’s how he was able to push aside all the distractions and the pain that must’ve come along with taking on this enormous task. FYI… he did raise $1 million.
Look at things on a more personal note, A test situation – if you decided that what you intended to do was to go on a long-awaited vacation with your family to Italy for two weeks and an appointment to list a home came up at the last minute… you wouldn’t have any trouble saying no to the appointment, would you? You would either say that you were not available or at least get someone to “pinch-hit” for you.
You would go to Italy “no matter what” right? Why? Because your big picture wishes had more power.
On the other hand if the test was to prospect for three hours from 9 AM to 12 o’clock noon and a friend offered to take you golfing that morning – the challenge of “no matter what” becomes much more difficult. The key to developing the habit to stay focused on the Big Picture is to… “keep your eye on the prize”. The prize is to have financial freedom by the end of the year – just like you promised yourself. The plan then is to sell 36 homes to make the prize of financial freedom actually happen. It’s Cause & Effect… do this and you get that.
SOLUTION
This first Habit of Being Very Clear on the Big Picture is the first place to start. Never lose sight of this critical issue. Avoid all the shiny pennies that show up along the way. They’re like potholes that will slow you down… make sure to drive around them!
Habit #2. Remove All Your Options
Remove All Your Options
This is an extremely powerful new habit that you must put in place right away.
The new habit you’re going to introduce is to take away all the temptations.
Why do you suppose the experts tell drug addicts to refrain from associating with other drug addicts? Why do they tell alcoholics to stay out of bars? As a matter of fact – they tell alcoholics to go to AA and be with others who have the same singular purpose.
Ignoring temptations is a learned skill. It can easily become a habit. Here’s a technique I learned long ago that works amazingly well… for the next two days write down every single thing that interrupts the important tasks you are working on. Your designated “important tasks” would be items such as lead generation, preparing for an appointment, following up your best prospects, etc.
SOLUTION
So for the next two days, write down every temptation that comes along…the things that threw you off track. Examples: answering texts and phone calls, jumping every time an e-mail arrives, letting people walk into your office unannounced. Next, at the end of the day look at the list and figure out how to eliminate each specific temptation that created the interruption.
The Magic in this technique is that by writing down the interruptions the answer for how to eliminate the temptation becomes amazingly self-evident. For some reason when you sit back and look at a particular interruption on paper, it’s very clear as to how to get rid of that temptation. You don’t have to do this for more than a couple of days to realize how much control you actually do have. Then the habit of ignoring temptations starts to kick in.
Once you become aware of the folly of allowing yourself to be interrupted… once you realize how much it is costing you to be inconsistent… then you can start eliminating the temptations.
Look at this approach… let’s say you get inbound telephone calls that interrupt you when you are prospecting. One simple solution is to tell the front desk not to put through any calls. Another alternative would be to turn your cell phone off for two hours while you are prospecting.
It might be something as simple as putting your alarm clock on the other side of the bedroom so you can’t hit the snooze button. It might be something as simple as closing your office door so no one can bother you. Look for these items and stamp them out immediately.
This is a hugely important component of “Solving the Self-Discipline Riddle”. Let me give you one more example… it has to do with the premise that oftentimes when people come to you and they’re in a hurry. It turns out that it is an emergency for them… not for you. It’s not your emergency so don’t treat it like one!
Let’s say your plan was to revise your listing presentation and make it more current, to make it more compelling. Suppose someone else comes to you with their emergency… the problem starts when you have put yourself in a position of being available. If your office door was closed, if you had a do not disturb sign posted, if you didn’t answer your phone, if you didn’t get caught up in someone else’s drama… then self discipline would not be needed to get the job done.
The habit of removing the options puts you in a position of not being available so that the interruption does not even get to you! In other words, you don’t know about it until you have finished revising your listing presentation. Then you can decide which are going to do next… but not before. Insulate yourself. The person you have to serve first is you. For more… see Habit #12.
Habit #3. Protect Yourself Physically
Protect Yourself Physically
Develop a routine of good health and high energy. When you look after yourself physically your confidence level is higher. You will jump out of bed with more enthusiasm, you will deal with adversity more easily and most important of all your ability to be your word will soar!
In the case of eliminating self-discipline, the healthier you are – the better you will be at creating powerful habits to keep you on track.
Remember that the formula for success in sales is to make sure that you make a strong connection between your activities and your overall goals. Here it is…A = G…your activities must equal your goals. Looking after your health and your energy is a significant contributor and a very important activity.
SOLUTION
Set up a schedule of ongoing exercise and healthy eating. Workout 3 – 4 times a week and say no to fast food, junk food, refined sugar and excessive alcohol.
There is one more piece to this puzzle… it has to do with what I call the Law of Diminishing Control. The further you are into your day, the more difficult it is to stay on your plan. That’s why you must Beware the Afternoons and Evenings… this is when your bad habits creep back in and have more power.Your ability to ignore the “shiny pennies” is at its lowest. The promises you made to yourself first thing in the morning are not nearly as strong as the day goes by.
Have you ever woken up in the morning and said to yourself, “No fast food today or no alcohol today, that’s for sure!! Today is a salad day!” and then later on allow yourself to weaken, break your word, and order a huge pizza??? Two reasons that this happens:
#1. The fatigue factor sets in and your strength to resist temptation weakens.
#2. By now the “snakes are out-of-the-box” end you have much less control.
Here’s the key… the critical items that you committed to doing that day do not change as the day goes by! The habit of staying strong physically is a very important component to eliminating the need for self-discipline.
Okay there’s some basic 10,000 foot Habits to get you started. Let’s move on now to the second part of these powerful new habits…your…
“HOW I THINK” HABITS
Habit #4. Spend Time with the Right People
Spend Time with the Right People
Our son Tommy is just finishing his last unit year of university in Montréal. There were times during his teenage years that we questioned whether this day would ever come. The joys of parenthood. LOL Athletics have always been a very important part of Tommy’s life and for that we are grateful.
The problem was that when he got into grade 10 his snowboarding passion took a bit of a wrong turn. Some of his friends were a little less than desirable from our point of view. Through encouragement and support we were able to move him away from some of the rebellious and negative people he had taken on as friends. It worked, Tommy was once again associating with the right people. He has blossomed into a marvelous young adult with a terrific future ahead of him.
All parents feel the same way… associate with the right people and you will move ahead in life – associate with the wrong people in the opposite happens.
Do you think this reality changes when we become adults? Do you think this outside influence stops impacting our lives? Of course not! Whoever we associate with impacts us dramatically no matter how old we are. What I am referring to here is this:
SOLUTION
Make sure you are spending time with the right people. Associate with people who are doing more than you are doing now. Real estate agents who are selling twice a number of homes you are. Business people who invest their money and time wisely. Associate with people who have high values. People who consider that the glass is always half full versus half-empty. Every real estate office has its share of… the wrong people. . The gossipers, the “Debbie Downers”, the complainers. Stay away from them!
More importantly, set your standards high and remember Earl Nightingale’s adage… “Your income will be the average of the incomes of the five people with whom you spend the most time”. Hang around with successful people.
Here’s a great way to get started… take an inspirational person to lunch every two weeks. Make a list of individuals that inspire you and invite them to lunch… have a series of questions you would ask them…
— What books are you reading?
— What would you do differently if you were to start over?
— How do you say inspired?
— Tell me about the challenges you face right now?
— How much do you exercise ?
— Who are the mentors you follow?
This approach will completely change the way you look at things. It will definitely change who you spend the most time with. Develop the habit of searching out growth influences versus negativity. Stay inspired.
Habit #5. Leave the Drama for Hollywood
Leave the Drama for Hollywood
Eliminate the Drama from your life – I’m not talking about significant personal items such as death of a loved one or ill health. I’m referring to the type of drama that gets in the way of a productive life. You know, the day to day occurences that plague everyone’s life. The habit of reacting to such drama is just an excuse for not doing what needs to be done. It is also an excuse for trying to get attention… especially when it’s not really warranted.
Consider the story of Ed Lucas…
Ed Lucas is a sports writer and broadcaster. As a reporter for the New York Mets and the New York Yankees he has covered the baseball playoffs, the World Series and the All-Star games.
October 3, 1951 after watching the New York Giants defeat the Brooklyn Dodgers to win the National League pennant, at the age of 12 Ed went outside to play baseball with his friends. He was struck in the face by a line drive and subsequently lost his sight. Devastating no doubt!
His mother decided she would not let Ed wallow in self-pity. She did two things that changed his life. First, she sent him to a very special school for the blind run by nuns who believed that blind people could do anything they set out to do.
Secondly, his mother wrote letters to Leo Durocher the manager of the New York Giants and homerun hero Bobby Thomson explaining what happened to Ed. She told them about how his love of baseball was the only thing lifting his spirits. Durocher invited Ed to be his guest at the Polo grounds for the 1952 season. Several of the Yankee ballplayers befriended Ed. All-star Phil Rizzuto was one of them. This friendship lasted a lifetime until Phil Rizzuto passed away in 2007.
As a result of these two occurrences, Ed Lucas eliminated the drama from his life… the drama of becoming sightless at the age of 12. He went on to graduate from Seton Hall University with a degree in communications. He started his own radio show about baseball. Ed has become a well-known baseball reporter who has overcome all the challenges he’s facing.
On top of all that, Ed has been inducted into the New Jersey Sports Writers Association Hall of Fame and is a well-known fixture in the New York athletic community. he has developed a habit of eliminating all the drama from his life.
SOLUTION
The key is to keep everything in perspective. You have to ask yourself, “In the BIG scheme of things, is this issue really going to change my life dramatically? Will this really be all that important 6 months from now?” In most cases, the truth is… probably not. Ask yourself, “What do I have to do to get back on track?” This is where the power of saying NEXT! kicks in.
As talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has been quoted,
“So many people prefer to live in drama because it’s comfortable staying there”.
Don’t let yourself get caught up in drama. Let others have their “pity party”. Your job is to recognize that there will be setbacks and they will test you. Develop the habit of getting back on the horse, the habit of getting back into your routine quickly, and doing the things you know need to be done right now. Don’t let drama creep into your life or your real estate sales business. Your home buyers and your home sellers deserve your full attention. By developing the habit of “zero drama” you will serve them best.
Habit #6. Create the habit of “Mono-Tasking” versus Multi-Tasking
Create the habit of Mono-Tasking versus Multi-Tasking
Psychologists have proven over and over that trying to do two things at once MENTALLY is literally impossible. You can do something physical and mental at the same time (like driving your car and listening to our “All the Right Words” real estate scripts and dialogues) but not two mental things (like writing and listening at the same time).
Major Point: When you multitask, what the mind does instead of two things at once is switch back and forth from one task to another. So you’re really “switching” – not multitasking.
It has also been proven that when you get caught up multitasking, your cognitive powers are reduced by 10%. Here’s another interesting fact, medical experts have ascertained that when an individual is high on pot… their cognitive powers have been reduced by 5%. Multitasking then is worse, it’s 10%! When you are multitasking, you are actually walking around less alert than if you were stoned! LOL
SOLUTION
The key is to create a habit “Mono- Tasking” – simply put it’s the habit of doing one task at a time. A recent study of hundreds of employees at the headquarters of Microsoft showed that when interrupted, two things happened…
— Employees took an average of 20 minutes to return to the original task they were performing
— Also, 40% of those same employees never got back to the task they were doing at the time!
The habit of mono-tasking is a great replacement for the habit of multitasking… your mind will be so much clearer and you will get a lot more done. Block out your time so that the 5 revenue producing tasks in your real estate sales day are being addressed in mono-tasking fashion. These are… lead generation, lead follow-up, showing property to homebuyers, listing property, and negotiating offers. This habit will generate more revenue than any other single item on this list.
Reading Recommendation: “The One Thing” by Gary Keller
Habit #7. Get Used to Some Criticism
Get Used to Some Criticism
How do you keep a crab in a pot? It is a fact of nature that the way to keep a crab in a pot is to put other crabs in the pot with it. Any time an adventurous crab tries to climb out, the other crabs will reach up and pull it back down. If it continues, they will literally break off its’ legs to prevent it from escaping.
Sadly, human nature works the same way. The majority of the population does not like to see others succeed. Why? Because that is a reminder that they are underachieving. It is a reminder that they could be doing more but… they’re not prepared to play the price to do so.
By taking on these new habits you are going to overachieve compared to those around you. They aren’t going to like that and they are literally going to do their best to “pull you back down into the pot” – the place where they live and are more comfortable.
When my wife and I became high producers selling real estate at the rate of 100 to 125 homes per year… we too came under some criticism. Other agents started to complain about the approach we were taking and the routine we followed. I immediately developed a habit of viewing this criticism as a compliment. If they were upset it just meant we were distancing ourselves from the norm. Criticism is going to come with success. It comes with the territory – you are definitely going to upset some people as your success grows.
SOLUTION
Develop a habit of being immune to the petty nature and complaints of others. As the expression goes… “I don’t know the secret to success but I do know the secret to failure is trying to please everyone”. You are not going to keep everyone happy so you may as well start by keeping yourself happy first.
Okay, so there are 4 Mindset habits that deal with How I Think. We are now down to some very powerful Action Step Habits. This will be the icing on the cake for eliminating the need for self-discipline.
“ACTION STEP” HABITS
The first habit is very easy to take on… it’s called…
Habit #8. Follow the 5 Second Rule
Follow the 5 Second Rule
In Mel Robbins book – “Stop Saying You’re Fine” she reveals her “5 Second Rule”.
The 5 second rule states that every time a crossroad comes up and you are confronted with an either/or decision, you have 5 seconds to decide which way to go. If you wait more than 5 seconds, your brain will tell you to take the easier path. It’s an automatic human response – if you wait more than 5 seconds then you will always take the easier path. It’s human nature.
Consider this revealing quote from a very successful Amway mega producer by the name of Don Held from Columbus Ohio… Don said,
“Becoming successful is just a matter of overcoming human nature”
SOLUTION
In any successful real estate sales practice, the need to make decisions comes up constantly. Create a Habit of following Mel Robbins’ 5 second rule. Don’t overthink it…decide instantaneously which path you will follow when the inevitable choices come up.
Do I “be my word” or do I take the easy path? By following the 5 second rule things will be a lot easier for you. Don’t think about it. Just do what you said you were going to do when you laid out your original plan. The difference here is you’re going to decide that in less than 5 seconds. If you drag it out then the chances of being your word will shrink dramatically! Not a good way to eliminate the need for self discipline.
Make it easy on yourself… saying NO instantaneously is a lot easier than dragging it out and wrestling with your emotions. The Habit of Following the 5 Second Rule keeps your decision-making based on logic… and not emotion.
Habit #9. Keep Adjusting Your Daily Schedule
Keep Adjusting Your Daily Schedule
Your daily schedule will always be a work in progress. I have had many Coaches over the years. Sales coaches, life coaches, speaking coaches, health coaches, etc. My first Sales Coach told me that I would probably need to adjust my daily schedule 20 times in the first year… until I got it right. He was correct.
In our Real Estate Coaching Program we offer a Daily Schedule Template that suggests a recommended order of activities right from when you get up in the morning until you go to bed at night. It’s a great list and it’s an excellent place to start.
There is one problem though… here’s what I know from experience: everyone’s life is different. When showing this list to an audience at one of my recent real estate sales training Seminars, one lady stuck up her hand and said, “This doesn’t work for me! I have two small children and I can’t even GET TO the office until 9:20 AM”.
My response was to agree with her… “You’re right, for your situation it would be impossible to follow this list exactly” I replied. “This is just a starting point for you – take these suggestions and then build your schedule around what works best for you”. Create your own schedule. That’s the first part… once you get started with your own personal template… then you can really get down to refining a schedule that really works for you.
SOLUTION
Develop the habit of making changes to your schedule as you go. For sure, don’t beat yourself up for doing so – that’s part of the process. Here’s a rule I would suggest you follow…whenever you make a change to improve your daily schedule, make sure it is a permanent change until the next obvious change comes along.
Stick with what you have decided until you can see what doesn’t work and then keep adjusting as you go. It’s a work in progress and at the same time… taking on this habit of adjusting your schedule as you go will never stop… your schedule simply gets better with every adjustment. Sort of like practicing your scripts and dialogs – you’re never finished, you’re just better than you were the day before.
This way every time you make a change, your schedule will become more and more effective. It’s another way of what I call “painting yourself into a success corner”. Start painting.
Habit #10. Track Your Results and Reward Your Successes
Track Your Results and Reward Your Successes
There are two parts to this Habit. The first part is to always know where you stand and the second part is to make sure you pat yourself on the back periodically.
Let’s begin by looking at the tracking part. If you were driving from Toronto to Boston, don’t you think you would check the map periodically to make sure you were still headed in the right direction? That way, if you found you were off-track, you could make an adjustment along the way.
It’s the same for your real estate sales business. To put it bluntly… “trackers win, guessers lose”. You need to know where you stand in your business on an ongoing basis compared to where you want to end up at the end of your business cycle.
A simple minimum standard for tracking would be to always know your sales results for the following 5 categories…
listing appointments
listings taken
listings sold
buyer sales
closings/commissions earned
SOLUTION – part one
Get in the habit of posting your ever increasing results on the wall in your office. Use a whiteboard or a large sheet of paper. Keep it up-to-date to remind you of where you are at all times. Just like that example of driving from Toronto to Boston, if you get off track you’ll know quickly enough to make adjustments before you “end up in the ditch”.
My experience is that while most Salespeople do track their results… they fall short in two areas.
#1. The first is that they do not do it in an organized fashion… that’s why I recommend you put it on your whiteboard. Somewhere that ensures it is highly visible.
#2. The second shortfall is that the frequency of tracking isn’t sufficient. Your tracking system must be updated no less than once a week. This habit is also a form of accountability. Get in the habit of knowing where you stand at all times.
SOLUTION – part two
The second part of this habit is the pat yourself on the back part. Reward yourself and be sure to set it up in advance. We tell our children that if you “clean up your room I’ll take you out for an ice cream. If you get a good mark in school we will buy you an Apple Computer”.
Remember how we talked about the influence of who you associate with and the impact it has on you (Habit #4). It doesn’t stop when you become an adult. Neither does this. In the same way, the power of rewards will not stop when you become an adult.
In Dr. Phil’s first book…” Life Strategies” he identified 10 critical strategies to lead a successful life. Strategy #1 was “Get Real”. The bottom line of this strategy was that people do what works and they avoid what doesn’t work. One thing we know for sure, beating yourself up doesn’t work…at least not for long.
Get Real. Encouragement and reward are dramatically more effective motivators in the long run. The opposite of beating yourself up is to pat yourself on the back. Moving “towards pleasure” has a much more permanent and lasting effect. Set up rewards for yourself… lots of them… little ones and big ones.
Here’s a couple of examples:
When I get my lead follow-up done I’m going to take time off for a nice lunch.
When I reach my target of $200,000 by the end of the year I’m going to go out and buy that BMW.
When I lose that 20 pounds I’m going to pick out a new outfit for myself.
It’s been proven that this approach of rewarding yourself is a much more effective method for getting the important things done.
Two final points…make sure that the “the dog has teeth”. You have to be true to your word… if you don’t do what you said you were going to do then you don’t get the reward. This is not negotiable.
And finally, be sure to identify your rewards in advance and don’t pick out rewards that you are going to do anyway. You can’t say, “If I put those two deals together I’m going to take some time off at Christmas”. That’s not a newly designated reward, you would be doing that regardless.
Make your rewards both meaningful and true to the definition of reward. In other words, “If I do this, I get that and if I don’t do this, I don’t get that.”
This two-part habit will keep you on track in several ways. Post your results and pat yourself on the back. Be sure to have fun with it… that’s how it’s intended to work. Rewards are fun!
Habit #11. Embrace the Benefits of Ongoing Accountability
Embrace the Benefits of Ongoing Accountability
There is one bad habit that almost everyone needs to replace… and that’s the habit of trying to do it all on your own. No one ever looked at a top achiever and said, ”I know she sold all those houses but… did she really do it on her own or did she have a Real Estate Coach? I’ll bet she had someone holding her accountable so she was sure to succeed! Her success is tainted!”
Developing a Habit of Ongoing Accountability is almost mandatory if you’re going to succeed. The most common request I get from a new Coaching Client is that “I want to be held accountable. Make sure Bruce that I do what I’m supposed to do – don’t let me off the hook!”
The problem is that most people shy away from this commitment when confronted. Everyone wants the benefits of accountability, many do not want the downside of accountability… the pain of paying the price as a result of not being your word.
At a recent real estate sales training Seminar I was conducting the audience all laughed when I asked them “Do you drive differently when you know there’s a police car behind you?”. Everyone agreed that this form of accountability changes their behavior. The behaviour of driving too fast or talking on their cell phone immediately disappeared when they were held accountable.
This is the power of accountability. It takes courage to be accountable… why?… Because, now you really have to do something that you would prefer not to do… that it would be easier to avoid. THIS MAY BE THE TOUGHEST HABIT OF ALL TO TAKE ON. The question is… how badly do you want to succeed?
SOLUTION
The habit of being accountable is incredibly powerful. This is what takes you from being good to great – the rewards are enormous! To paraphrase a famous quote… “Being accountable weighs ounces, not being accountable weighs tons”. Real estate salespeople who are not as committed try and do it on their own, sometimes their ego gets in the way. This is shortsighted. The committed always sign up for tough accountability.
Here’s why – the irony of accountability is that there is NO RISK. What accountability does for you is eliminate the risk of failure. I can still remember posting copies of 14 separate cheques I had sent to different accountability partners when I was selling real estate. Some to my Coach and some to individual Accountability Partners.
I had made commitments for various things I said it was going to do… all about being my word. There was no risk because these cheques were never cashed. Why? Because their mere existence forced me to do the things I promised myself I would do. You can do the same. Take on massive accountability and this habit will serve you very well. Simple not easy – but when you buy into this approach, this habit becomes one of the most powerful of all! The all-important outside accountability certainly eliminates the need for self discipline. Don’t try and do it on your own, it doesn’t work.
Habit #12. The Habit of Me First
The Habit of Me First
I have saved this habit for last on purpose. The Habit of Me First is the most important habit of all. We have now gone full circle back to the first Habit…the Habit of Being Clear on Your Big Picture.
By looking after Me First you are not being selfish… to the contrary, you are merely reinforcing the importance of what you do every day. This is another habit that is critical if you are going to eliminate the need for self discipline.
It does not serve you well to put everyone else’s needs and ahead of your own. That’s just a lack of commitment to what is really important – meaning, YOUR priorities! Many real estate Salespeople are in varying degrees what is called … “addicted to acceptance”. They want everyone else to like them… at the expense of their own personal success.
An example is Sarah Ferguson the former Duchess of York, married to Prince Andrew. She was addicted to acceptance. Sarah was caught on video in a sting operation set up by unscrupulous journalists. She was offered 100,000 pounds sterling for selling inside secrets about the Royals. As it turned out, she was doing so to help a friend who had significant debt and had asked for financial support. In order to raise money, Sarah was actually “Putting herself in harm’s way”. She wanted social acceptance, She wanted so much to be liked by her friend that she risked her own well-being…and got caught.
To be successful in your real estate sales practice you must get in the habit of looking after me first. This isn’t being selfish, it’s just common sense. Look at the example we are presented with on every airplane flight. The airline attendant always demonstrates the use of the drop-down oxygen mask in a crisis.
We are told to “put the mask on yourself first and then attend to others immediately thereafter”. The reality is that if you’re not looking after yourself first you’re not going to be much help to others.
In your home selling business there are a tremendous number of demands on your time. You have to decide when to say yes and when to say no. Here’s one of my favorite affirmations that keeps me on track –
“By serving myself first I serve my real clients best”.
Here’s the logic… when you are selling homes every day – when you are responding to the needs of potential home buyers and home sellers, it doesn’t take long before you get very busy. Not only do you not have time for yourself, you have to decide what’s the best use of your time. Who do I help first? How do I pick who I’m going to work with and who I’m not going to work with?
SOLUTION
The way the Habit of Me First works is that you must always think big before you act. Get in the habit of asking yourself these types of questions,
“What is the purpose of the exercise here, what am I really intending to accomplish? Does this help me pay off my mortgage, does this help me get healthy, does this help me put money aside for my children’s university education? Does this help me have a better life?”
Remember, you are not being selfish here. Be sure you do not misunderstand the purpose behind this final habit. Jim Rohn said it beautifully when he said…
”Make sure you have a plan for yourself… if you don’t, you will become part of someone else’s plan, and guess what they have planned for you… not much!”
Take on the Habit of Me First – put the oxygen mask over YOUR FACE first and start breathing! That way the things that are important to you get done first. No more struggling with self-discipline.
So we are done! You now have a terrific list of 12 new habits to take on. Remember, these habits are designed to replace other habits that have been holding you back. These habits will set you free. Remember, habits are things that just happen, you don’t have to think about them, they just occur day after day as your life continues to get better and better.
The more entrenched these habits become, the stronger they are, the less necessary self discipline will be. Before long you will have eliminated the need for self discipline completely. Set yourself free!
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