‘Cool’ is such a strange word. Impossible to quantify, its validity is entirely based on the user’s own feelings and thoughts. Watch an old episode of Top Gear (RIP) featuring their Cool Wall and you can just how much the word ‘cool’ can split opinion. Clarkson wants a car to go Sub Zero, Hammond hates it and the audience are split 50/50 on whether it should be thrown out altogether.
So what makes a car cool? I can only talk about my own thoughts and experiences, but I find it’s actually easier to define what a cool car doesn’t have to be. It doesn’t have to be a stunningly styled car – the Nissan Skyline R34 GTR is undoubtedly a cool car, but it’s as ugly as a horse’s back end. Nor does it have to be fast – a classic Mini isn’t going to set the world alight but is undeniably cool. It doesn’t have to be a sports car – the Audi RS4 is as practical as they come and is sub-zero cool. A cool car should allow you pull up outside the Casino in Monaco and have everyone from tourists to locals to carparazzi all look and give that knowing nod.
So as hard as it is to define ‘cool’ – here are my top five coolest cars ever.
5 – Citroen SM
This one’s certainly an oddity. But in 1970 when the SM was released it looked like a spaceship – the fared-in rear wheels, the sloping glass fastback, the Perspex aero nose – then there was the fact that it had a Maserati V6 under that low bonnet. Effortlessly cool in every respect it’s still just as cool today, maybe more so.
4 – VW Golf GTi
The Golf GTi choice needs a caveat – the Mk1, Mk5, Mk6 & Mk7 models are cool – the rest are not. The Mk2 was an 80’s Yuppy car and hence incredibly uncool and the Mk3 and Mk4 models were an embarrassment to the name. They were fat, slow and didn’t handle well, nor did they look good. But in the Mk5 the Golf GTi found its mojo again and became a really good driver’s car, whilst looking good – by that I mean subtle, sporting, expensive but not shouty – and was a classless car – the guy working in Sales could get one along with Piers StJohn-Smythe as his London runaround. The Mk6 and 7 served up more of the same, and even though there’s now the Golf R sitting above it in the performance tree the GTi is still cooler to these eyes.
3 – Jaguar E-Type
What to write here…. Hmmmmm… well, it’s an E-Type! Form the swinging sixties to modern day there aren’t many cars so adored by the old a young as with the E-Type. The massively long bonnet, with its suggestive curves and vents, the pert rear end, the low body, every part of it is cool. They were the cool car to have in the 60’s and remain so today.
2 – Audi RS4
This may be a controversial choice, but frankly my list could’ve been entirely classics so I had to include some new car content. The RS4 is a blisteringly quick, V8 powered supercar dressed up in a slightly titivated estate repmobile body.99% of the population will have no clue that there’s a 444bhp engine under the blistered wheelarches and in my eyes that makes it very very cool. Destroy the Route Napoleon one day, take a load of old rubbish to the recycling tip the next, it does it all in a very cool way.
1 – Singer Porsche 911
There simply had to be a Porsche 911 in this list, but which one to choose? The 930-generation model was an ode to 80’s excess when it came out but are slowly becoming cool now. The 996, 997 and 991 models are all great cars but I don’t think they’re particularly cool. The 993-generation was the last of the air cooled variants, with an incredibly pretty body, fantastic handling and a crazy Turbo variant that destroyed the competitors of the time. But there’s something much cooler.
The 1970’s 911 had purity to the design, a cleanliness that gives it that classically cool look. But they weren’t the best things to drive when new and less so now. Luckily, hidden away in an industrial estate in Los Angeles is a company called Singer who ‘reimagine’ the 911. They actually start with the early 90’s 964 model which was much improved, then remove all the bodywork and replace it with carbon fibre in the look of the 70’s models – with added sexiness in the form of wider front and rear arches, a subtle ducktail spoiler that raises up like the later models and a clean front end with centrally mounted filler cap. Actually, not all of the body panels are replaced – the doors remain steel for side impact protection, but more importantly because carbon or aluminium doors didn’t make that all-important Porsche ‘thunk’ when they close.
That’s indicative of the attention to detail that goes into every Singer – every single panel gap is exactly 2mm, the wheels are replicas of the iconic Fuchs alloys but wider, the headlights look like the old units but are bespoke xenon items that come from Le Mans race cars, the interior replicates the old models but all the intricate leather is woven by hand, while the metalwork is all nickel plated for a unique finish. So many man-hours go into making a Singer and it shows all over it, but you certainly pay for the privilege with cars costing upwards of £300,000 and current waiting times of around 2yrs from order.
But petrolheads, non-petrolheads, the wealthy, the poor, the arty, they all see a Singer and mouth ‘wow’. It’s quite simply the coolest car ever in my eyes.
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