The NBA season kicks off tonight, and in the spirit of guessing wildly at some things, I’m making my predictions of every NBA team that makes the playoffs this year. I’m also guessing I’ll get all of these wrong. Let’s do this!
Western Conference
1. Golden State Warriors
2. San Antonio Spurs
3. Houston Rockets
4. Utah Jazz
5. Los Angeles Clippers
6. Portland Trail Blazers
7. Minnesota Timberwolves
8. Oklahoma City Thunder
Pretty obvious at the top of the table with the Evil Villain Warriors and the Spurs. I like what the Jazz have done this offseason and think they’re ready to make a real splash this year. The Clippers I think take a mini step back this year: I just think the team is what it is at this point, and they’ll go cruise control until the playoffs. I’m not entirely sold on the Thunder, but think they’ll do enough to make it. And no one is going to want to play the Timberwolves in the playoffs.
(Stephen R. Sylvanie/USA TODAY Sports)
The two hardest teams to leave off were the Pelicans and the Mavericks — I believe in Anthony Davis and Rick Carlisle, respectively, but the Pelicans are still trying to piece together a healthy lineup and Carlisle just doesn’t have the roster to win the 44 or so games I think you’ll need to make the playoffs in the West.
Eastern Conference
1. Cleveland Cavaliers
2. Boston Celtics
3. Toronto Raptors
4. Chicago Bulls
5. Atlanta Hawks
6. Indiana Pacers
7. New York Knicks
8. Detroit Pistons
The East is a lot more wide open. Really any of the teams 2-8 could be swapped around and I wouldn’t be surprised. They’re all pretty good, they all have a lot of flaws. The Knicks could congeal around Kristaps Porzingis and a re-energized Carmelo Anthony and make a run at a 3-seed. They could also miss the playoffs entirely. I could say the same for the Hawks and the Bulls and the Pacers. I just don’t know enough about how these teams are going to work and how they’re going to come together.
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As for the teams just missing: I wouldn’t be surprised at all if the Hornets found a way into the playoffs this year, same for the Wizards, the Magic, the Bucks … the list goes on. The East has the Cavaliers at the top, the Nets and 76ers at the bottom, and a whole bunch of teams in the middle. Any of them could flame out, any could make a serious playoff run.
Western Conference Finals: Warriors over Rockets
James Harden heroically leads the Rockets to a couple huge series wins, including one over the Clippers which will resemble the last quarter hour of Mad Max: Fury Road. Houston then falls short to the Juggernaut Super Villain Warriors, because of course they do.
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Eastern Conference Finals: Cavaliers over Celtics
Brad Stevens leads his plucky Celtics to the Eastern Conference Finals, where they run into the brick wall of LeBron James and the Cavaliers, who get a big performance from J.R. Smith, who will just have played himself into shape after the celebration this offseason.
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NBA Finals: Warriors over Cavaliers
The trilogy gets a beautiful end when Kevin Durant hits a 3-pointer in Game 7 to close it out, and LeBron gives a salty press conference in which he not-so-subtly hints the Warriors needed to sign a superstar to beat him. I can see it now. Let’s do this.