2015-08-04

A Taco Bell employee in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, was allegedly living way too más. ABC 9 in Cedar Rapids has the story:

A Taco Bell restaurant on busy Blairs Ferry Road was closed for much of the day Tuesday after authorities said they found components for making methamphetamine stashed inside.

Cedar Rapids police arrested two men, one of them an employee, on meth-related charges….

Officers found remnants of a meth lab in a utility area, he said. But it was unclear if meth had actually been cooked in the restaurant.

Meanwhile, I can’t even get Lava Sauce anymore.

A Taco Bell spokesperson quoted in the article calls the possible meth lab “an isolated incident,” in case you were concerned that the Cedar Rapids location was just a test market for a revolutionary new menu item.

If you remain worried that your local Taco Bell is an active methamphetamine laboratory, try requesting no tomatoes on your MexiMelt. If the employee nods politely and abides the request, you’re safe. If he jumps over the counter and wrestles you to the ground while screaming that you’re the devil, consider buying your MexiMelts elsewhere.

The Meth trade is no joking matter, of course. Breaking Bad may have inadvertently glamorized the business as all RV underwear romps and grim existential dilemmas, but meanwhile it’s sometimes just a couple of clowns operating out of a Taco Bell mop closet.

This Week in Taco Bell heartily recommends sticking to Taco Bell items that combine beef, cheese and tortilla and avoiding those that include dangerous drugs.

Elsewhere in bad Taco Bell employees…

A Taco Bell employee in Newton, Kan. was fired for writing “PIG” on a takeout order served to a police officer and his fiancee.

The officer reported the incident to the Taco Bell’s manager and the employee was promptly fired. Presumably the insult stung less than the disappointment that ensued after thinking, however briefly, that Taco Bell might have started serving pork.

And for something lighter:

With at least two rogue Taco Bell employees dragging the company’s good name through the mud this week, this site thought it only appropriate to share a less-heavy item in the form of this 1979 Taco Bell commercial, featuring a bunch of delicious looking Taco Bell stuff, plus incredible old Taco Bell uniforms and a song that’s way too catchy.

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