America’s Fall Classic gets under way in Kansas City – but how will Game 1 go down in Australia? Follow it live with Matt Cleary in Sydney
Tweet @JournoMatCleary or email matt.cleary@guardian.co.uk
But seriously: read DJ Gallo’s World Series live blog here
2.32am GMT
Murphy, now, facing the heat of Herrera. WHACK - BASE HIT. Down the guts. He gets to first. Wright goes to second. And here’s ... Cespedes, facing Hell Man Herrera. Foul ball. Whacked into the umpire. Straight into the mush. He’s not wearing the face mask there’s a baseball embedded in him. Deep in him, a hole like a small meteor would make. Uncomfortable stuff. Here’s Cespedes, he bends low to whack it but the ball flies out to left field and is pouched easily, and two men stay on their bases and that’s the innings. Seventh innings stretch time, a funny thing where they root, root, root for the home team, which like that game called Corn Hole they have in Tailgate Parties has quite different connotation in the island nation state of Australia.
2.27am GMT
Okay. Kelvin “Terror of the Terra” Herrerra, he’s come on to replace Danny Duffy, who threw maybe 12 pitchs, a tactic. David Wright is unfazed, however, and grounds one through left field low, and gets to first base where he has a yarn with the man there, which is nice. Here’s Murphy!
2.23am GMT
Here is Curtis Granderson, he’s hit a homer tonight. He faces Danny Boy Duffy. It’s 3-0. One out. Nobody on base. And it’s 3-1. Next: high, very high. But out, just the same. And ... they call come in to congratulate Danny Duffy ... because that’s all the pitching he’s allowed to do this evening, apparently, he’s like a little mid-innings closer, put in before the real closer comes in to make like Wild Thing in Bull Durham, throwing heaters, and flaming balls of hate.
2.20am GMT
New pitcher, the Royals. There’s nothing of him, he’s in proportion but like a miniature pony. Normally they’re great big beasts, pitchers. This fellow is like a normal person, plucked out of Batman suit in the crowd and given the ball and told, throw this thing at that man there. My but I can go on. Don’t even know his name. Danny Duffy, says the TV man. He’s throwing to Michael Cuddyer, who’s just sort of turned up himself. Where’s this bloke been? He’s done nothing all game. AND HE’S OUT, STRUCK OUT, DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SWING AT IT, HE IS OUT OF THERE BUBBA.
2.13am GMT
Okay. Harvey. HE’S BELTED HIGH AND LONG ... AND NEARLY LONG ENOUGH. but not. And you’d suggest Boomer Harvey is close to flinging his last hot rock on this chill evening in Kansas City.
2.12am GMT
Okay, No Mistakes Moustakes. Runner on second. He’s seen off two balls with judicious ball-watching. Royals crowd, big urging, Let’s go Royals. Pitcher pings to second to try and catch Good Oil out. Nearly. Slick ball, ball men. Okay - Harvey. MOUSTAKES! LINE DRIVE TO THE MIDDLE AND THE BIG MAN MY MAN, BIG MIKE MOUSTAKES HE’S BATTED IN LORENZO CAIN AND GOT HIMSELF TO FIRST BASE, TOP STUFF. TIED UP HERE IN KANSAS CITY. TIED UP.
2.09am GMT
Matt Harvey to Kendrys Morales, flat out worst beard you’ll see this evening, a beard that Ironman would have if Ironman grew a beard, an unholy thing. Here’s Harvey. Arm hanging out of his shoulder socket, hanging in with spit and gum, like in Bull Durham, the old wise pitcher. STEAL! CAIN! Lorenzo “Good Oil” Cain, he’s on second base. And here’s Big Mike Moustakes. I like him.
2.06am GMT
Eric Hosmer, he’s batted in a lot of men, it’s said by Learned Men, by scholars. He faces Harvey. 7o pitches. Human arms aren’t meant to do this. WHACK! HIGH TO MIDDLE AND HOSMER IS OUT BUT THERE’S A RUNNER BATTED IN AND IT’S A ONE RUN GAME.
2.03am GMT
Here’s Lorenzo Cain, WHACK! HE SMACKS A LOW ONE TO RIGHT FIELD AND ZOBRIST IS ON THIRD BASE, AND THAT MEANS THERE ARE TWO MEN ON BASES, AND THEY’RE A-COMING THE ROYALS, THEY ARE A-COMIN. None out. And the Mets warm up a new pitcher, a chubby man, look of Fred Flintstone about him.
2.02am GMT
Okay. Zobrist! LINE DRIVE TO RIGHT FIELD, LOW AND GOOD, HE’S GOT A LEAD OFF DOUBLE BASER, the ball stayed just inside the line before the first base and he almost got three bases, but was happy with the double-bagger.
1.59am GMT
Okay. The Royals, you’d suggest they need some runs here. Need to get into this pitcher as the Mets are getting into their own. Murphy’s been erratic on occasion but there’s been very little to hit apart from his first pitch that went for a home run that didn’t even leave the field of play, you don’t see it often.
1.58am GMT
WHACK! MOUSTAKES! WHAT A PLAY, THE GREAT MOO MOUSTAKES, NO MISTAKES, THE BALL WAS HIT HARD AND THE THIRD BASEMAN DIVED AND GOT IT AND THREW THE THING HARD TO FIRST, GREAT STUFF THE MOO-MAN, GREAT STUFF.
1.58am GMT
And the Great Conforto! Michael Conforto. BOOM! But straight up! AND CESPEDES RUNS IN FROM THIRD BASE AND GETS THERE AHEAD OF THE THROW, AND YOU’D SUGGEST OUR pitcher’s about to pitch his last.
1.56am GMT
Here’s Edinson, against Travis “Ran With Bulls At Pamplona But Never Been Gored” D’Arnaud. He’s facing Volquez whose arm is about to fall off. It’s 2-2. He just left one, it was close. Crucial juncture here. Volquez, to D’Arnaud. WHACK... almost fell over he swung so hard, but a foul ball. Crowd into it. None out. Get one out, Edinson, they implore. GOT HIM, YES. FINE PITCHING. THE HEATER, IT CAME IN TOO FAST FOR D’ARNAUD, who is given out by the umpire in emphatic, amusing fashion.
1.52am GMT
Strike! The second one, a dropping fast one, the breaking ball, one assumes, because it looked like it was up but it was not. Big Dudas on deck. Volquez to Dudas. BASE HIT! WHACK! DUDAS GETS HIMSELF TO FIRST AND CESPEDES GOES TO THIRD WITH A GROUND BALL... And there’s men on first and third base, no-one out. And there’s a huge many-man confab in the middle as the Royals decide do we stick with this pitcher? One would suggest we do not. There’s nobody out. It would be a factor.
1.49am GMT
Right! Where are we? Top of the sixth innings and the Mets lead 2-1. Here’s Cespedes, another from the heartburn product range. Or maybe something tropical, like a heat rash. HE WHACKS IT LOW TO LEFT FIELD AND GETS HIMSELF ON BASE, AND HERE COMES BIG DUDAS, there’s a lot of him.
1.45am GMT
Okay. Here’s Escobar. He aimed up to bunt first go. First name Alcides. Sounds like a balm for indigestion. He ... whacks it low... but is picked off, fine play by the short stop who slung it to first base JUST as the runner got there, it was very close but the first base umpire punched an imaginary dwarf in the face to signal, you’re outta there.
1.44am GMT
Alex Rios ... BOOM! MIDDLED IT ... BUT IT’S too high. And Flores takes it after it comes down from the moon.
1.42am GMT
Right. Where are we. Bottom of the fifth. Matt Harvey to Alex Gordon. Mets by one. He’s thrown 57 pitches, our Boomer. Gordon whacks one out to foul land. Next: Strike. A strike out. Bye for now, Gordo.
1.38am GMT
And here’s Daniel “Guitar” Murphy. Man of La Mancha. And home runs. But not this time. It’s 2-1 the Mets.
1.37am GMT
Okay! We’ve had four innings. It’s 1-all. Volquez and Harvey, neither’s been really owned by these whackers. Here’s Designated Hitter Kelly Johnson. He leaves one and swings at another. Result is 1-1. Volquez has thrown 53 pitches, the most recent one going at 93 mph. That’s hot action, baby. It’s 2-2. And ... Johnson whacks one to short stop thereabouts and Escobar gets his man, just. There was some “English” on the ball according to the talking heads. Means a squirrelly one, one would surmise. Here’s Curtis “Canyonson” Granderson. Ha. That’s terrible. He faces Volquez. He’s left-handed. There are more and more of these people. It’s 1-2. One out. WHACK! HOMER! HOMER! GRANDERSON SMASHES IT TO RIGHT FIELD LOW AND FLAT AND ANGRY AND GOOOOONE. I should make this a Key Event.
1.30am GMT
Here’s Sal Perez, sore thumb. He’s a massive thing ... OH! LINE DRIVE BY PEREZ STRAIGHT AT DAVID WRIGHT WHO LEAPS INTO THE AIR AND POCKETS A HOT POTATO. WOO - THAT THING WAS FLYING, FLAT AND ANGRY, AND WRIGHT LEAPT AND POUCHED IT. TIP TOP STUFF. and that’s the end of the inning(s).
1.28am GMT
Okay. One-all in the World Series, Game One thereof. It’s 1-all. There’s one out. And the game stops because the TV went off. That’s nice. Okay here’s Mike “No Mistakes” Moustakes. Another Evil Beard. Not as evil as Morales. But evil, man. Evil. He whacks one high and slicing and long and out into the crowd, where resides Batman. Moustakes, now, the crowd “Moo” when he does stuff, like they boo Boo Weekley. And Luke Donald. And Colin Montgomerie. Ha. Silly man. Okay! Harvey throws a half-tracker into the dirt. It’s 1-2. WHACK! MOUSTAKES GETS ALL OF IT BUT IT’S FLAT AND HARD AND straight at the right field ... man. Him.
1.22am GMT
Okay! Kendrys Morales of Cuba, he faces Matt Harvey. Who’s slinging them in, hard and wild, like Barack Obama after a week with Bear Grylls. Ha. Something. Strike! Three and you’re out, champion. Coach of the Mets rushes out. Talks to the umpire to confirm the ruling. Umpire says, yes, after three strikes, you’re out. It’s a rule. Been one a while. And coach says, Really? And the umpire says, Yes. Three strikes, and you’re out. And coach says, Not four? And the umpire says, No. Three strikes. You’re out. Now back in your box, you pelican.
1.18am GMT
Okay, Royals catcher Sal Perez cops a ball on his non-glove hand, it would have hurt quite a lot. There’s a break while they check him out. It’s 1-1 to Flores. Whack, low to short stop, who slings it to second base and that’s all that’s required. One-all here in the World Series of Baseball Game One from Kansas where Dorothy wanted to get back to and escape a witch’s monkeys. Someone said the coach is a witch. Ned Yost. Top handle.
1.14am GMT
Michael Conforto, now. Runners on first and second. And “Moo” Moustakas takes a high ball near his third base. That’s the second out. Here’s ... Ha. Wilmer Flore, who’s sporting a beard best described as a tiny bit of hair right on the point of his chin. Rest of his face is completely nude, like the buttocks of baby Jesus. And there on his chin, ha ... oh my. It’s the head of a badger poking its head out the hide. Ha. What’s doing, Mets? Is there a bet?
1.11am GMT
Here’s Travis “Great Thumping Gourd” D’Arnaud - WHACK! STRAIGHT TO MOUSTAKAS BUT THE MOO MAN CAN’T HANG ON AND GUITAR MURPHY RUNS AROUND FOR THE TYING RUN, IT’S 1-ALL HERE AT ... WHEREVER WE ARE IN KANSAS CITY, AND there are still two men on bases. He got a hold of that, Moustakas. But couldn’t hang on. And here’s The Great Conforto.
1.09am GMT
Rightio! Edinson Volquez to Daniel “Super Murph” Murphy, he’s whacked a thousand homers this post-season, set records. He gets two more he beats Barry Bonds who has eight. A lot. He’s having a yarn with the first base man. That’s nice. Next up: pop to nowhere good. And out. Here’s Lucas Duda, going with the mid-chin Ragnar Loethbrok style of beard action. It’s like a competition for Worst Gob. A huge man, Duda, big levers. He’s 1-1. There’s one out. His team is down by one. Whack! Duda shoots one low hard to right field, bouncing, and Murphy runs all the way to third. Duda hangs out on first. Good times.
1.02am GMT
Okay. One-blot, the Royals. Here’s Lorenzo “The Oil” Cain. He pops one out to the foul area where it’s taken. Matt Harvey, slinging in the hot rocks, the white heat, the speedy pingers. Nothing pretty about his beard, it’s a growth gone bad. He’s thrown 37 pitches. Now 38. He’s flinging them at ... Batman in the crowd! ... Eric Hosmer. Our Ecka’s throwing the bat it, ball shooting off at thin tangents. it’s 2-2, as another one shoots out into the crowd, protected from tyranny by Batman. Hosmer! Whacks it. But ... can’t make first base. And that’s the end of this particular section.
12.54am GMT
Okay, David Wright. Ordinary name, fine batter. A right-hander. He’s facing Volquez. Who’s giving him respect by throwing low ones at him. Nothing in the slot. Fans clapping their man. Goes wide again, but this is a strike. A change-up. The old change-up. Tricky stuff, Edinson. Two out. Two on base. Volquez throws it into the dirt. Next: Strike, a fast one, high and Wright liked the look of it, it was there to be hit but he did not. Okay - 2-2. Two on base. Two out. And: STRIKE THREE AND YOU’RE OUT, WRIGHT, BROTHER. YOU ARE OUTTA THERE.
12.50am GMT
Okay, Curtis Granderson. Volquez is hurling the heat at him. Going across the left hander. Wide. Margin for error small, but not that small. It’s 3-0. One-nil Royals. Two out. Thirty years since one of these guys won the World Series. And there’s ball four. And there’s two guys on base who didn’t have to hit the ball to get there.
12.48am GMT
Volquez, slinging it in. Wilmer Flores on deck. Whack! Line drive to left field ... But Alex Gordon makes a tidy sliding catch, scooting along on his thigh and then buttocks. Nicely done, Golden Glove Man. Volquez, two out. Here’s Kelly Johnson, a Designated Hitter, a specialist. He’s given up two strikes, let them go. One job, Jonno! One designated job. He swings at the 0-2 pitch and shoots it into foul land. Next: Whacks him low on the leg! CLEAR THE BENCHES! FIGHT! ... No. Johnson walks off to first, a place his batsmanship didn’t particularly warrant.
12.45am GMT
Okay, where are we. In Kansas City. Volquez to Michael Conforto. The Great Conforto, he may be called. Edinson Valquez, bit of bling round the neck. Shirt open. He could be watching the game on the couch with a beer. He throws one ... it’s whacked to the first base man who tosses it to Volquez who runs over and makes the out. Good play, Royals.
12.41am GMT
Okay, Alex Rios, there’s two guys on base. HE SMASHES ONE .... BUT IT’S HIGH and not long enough and Cespedes makes no mistake. Unlike first pitch of the innings in which he did make a mistake, a poor one that led to a homer. Okay - here’s Escobar, the man who whacked that all-run home run. First up: Slider? Dunno. Wasn’t his fastest, because his fast one is the straight one. And straight is bad. Can be bad. Okay! Rios, 1-1 ... 2 out and 2 on base. Murphy, he’s all over the shop. Strike! A curving bit of kit that Rios liked the look of. And then did not. Next: Grounder. Easily covered by Wright, he slings it to first. And that’s ... that’s it, the end of the story at this particular juncture.
12.37am GMT
Alex Gordon now. Another of the bad beard brigade. Not as bad as old mate Morales, that thing is hideous. Even evil. But Gordon’s jaw-beast, it’s fluffier. But you aren’t making people think, Cool beard, Champion.
Regardless, he’s seen off three balls and no strikes. Then he whacks at one, and it goes to foul territory, low and ragged. There’s been 23 pitches by Boomer. His 24th is wide and silly, and Bad Beard gets to first base.
12.35am GMT
Okay. Royals at bat. Matt “Guitar” Murphy. I mean Harvey, to pitch. He’s slinging them in, fast and high. And wins an out, pop fly. Salvador Peres in next. There’s a lot of him, big levers. He’s a huge big yin. And ... whack, he drives one over Super Dan’s head, and the ball scoots out to right field and he’s on base, the big man.
12.31am GMT
Lucas Duda, a huge man, he whacks one hard, but it goes nowhere good. And he’s out at first base after some simple fielding by Kansas men. Here’s Travis “Live By The Sword” D’Arnaud. He ... pops one to short right field and is Out. One-blot, Royals.
12.28am GMT
Okay, top of the second innings of nine or however many they need after that to get this thing done. Royals are up one-nil after our man Cespedes messed up in centre field and gifted KC a home run all run. He’s out there batting now though, and he whacks one low and out of the field of play. Next one he gets the bottom of the bat on it to short field, and Moustakes - whom fans “Moooo” at - pings it to first base for an out.
12.24am GMT
Terrible beard on Morales, an Abe Lincoln one with a square bit chopped out of it for his mouth region. It’s a frightening thing, a bad wombat, a cling-on. But he’s got himself to 3 balls and a strike against Matt “Boomer” Harvey ... but can’t go on with it. He’s out of there. And it’s 1-blot, Royals, after one innings each.
12.22am GMT
Pitcher Boomer Harvey gets another two batters out with catches by our man Cespedes out there in the middle. Nowhere to hide. Actually there probably is, like a hole there where groundskeepers keep stuff. You could probably open a door and climb in. But it would create something of an incident. Okay! Matt Harvey, he walks Hosmer. And here’s Kendrys Morales.
12.20am GMT
Cespedes, the centre fielder, he tried a tricky one, a backhanded catch. The ball bounced off his thigh and there you go. Home run. Ha. Good times.
12.19am GMT
Ha. The outfielders, there ... one tried to back to backhand it. And another ... threw it someone else. And our man Escobar he just ran and ran and kept on running, the base umpires pumping their arms like windmills on the tear ... ha. First pitch, first hit, and there you go. Boom.
12.18am GMT
Okay, Alcides Escobar first up AND HE SMASHES IT DOWN THE GUTS LONG AND THE METS OUTFIELDERS STUFF ABOUT AND CAN’T CATCH IT AND THEY ... WHAT ARE THEY DOING! ESCOBAR JUST KEEPS RUNNING AND RUNNING AND HE’S RUN ALL THE WAY, IT’S A HOMER!
12.14am GMT
Volquez shoots one high past Murphy, across his chest area. Strike. Breaking ball? A diving one, and it’s a ball, it dipped low past his knees. It was close. Next: Inside and fast, and Murphy shoulders arms. That was moving. Wow. Rib-crusher. Murphy, a left-hander, it’s a wonder these people can operate. Volquez shoots a low curver past his knees, and ... strike. And it’s 2-2 ... and STRIKE! Super Murph can’t get any bat on a breaking ball, I think it was, because it dropped like a stone. Middle of the first in game one of this storied seven-prong super series.
12.12am GMT
A hit! No, a pop-fly to left field, or right-field, out there in the field, the left-hander hit it and the ball flew out there where it was easily pouched by the outfielder. Here’s David Wright, and Volquez shoots a couple of balls and a strike by him. Curve balls and fast ones, you wouldn’t want to face him in the nude, this much is certain. Edinson, fly ball, foul....? No - out. Volquez has two out, and here comes Dan Murphy, the Hot One.
12.09am GMT
Okay. Six umpires gathered around home plate. And here come the Royals, taking the field. Chilly night, and still. No rain, which is good, for it was feared otherwise. Big crowd in, chock-a-block as you would expect. Mets will lead off with Curtis Ganderson, and he will face the hot rocks of No.36 Edinson Volquez, and it’s ... a strike. And we are away.
11.58pm GMT
Well - super-fine rendition of the Anthem by Andy Grammer, the kid has a pair of pipes. Giant flag furled. And we’re moments from First Pitch.
11.56pm GMT
Both teams are lined up on the diamond now, and they’re introducing Ned Yost who “is a witch”, according to a man from Sports Illustrated, and good luck to him. Other players being announced, jogging out and rapping knuckles with compadres. People in the crowd waving socks in the air. Mike Moustakas is introduced to boos which are moos, like they do with Boo Weekley in the golf. People dancing about. Both pitchers warming up their bull-pens. Coloured water shooting into the air from special fountains. And here cometh the national anthem by the pop sensation, Andy Grammer.
11.16pm GMT
Greetings, The People, and welcome to Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City in the great state of Missouri where Kansas City Royals will play New York Mets in Game One of the 2015 World Series of Baseball. And like dear sweet Ron Burgundy from the crackerjack film Anchorman, it is kind of a big deal.
The Mets won through to this storied, seven-prong super-series on the strength of second baseman Dan Murphy - also the name of a string of Australian bottle shops - who hit 6 home runs in six games, four against Chicago Cubs, a fine achievement, a notable statistic.
6.17pm GMT
Matt will be here shortly. In the meantime, have a look at who our writers will be crowned World Series champions:
Related: World Series 2015: our writers pick who will win between the Mets and Royals
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