Transfer window slams shut (officially, the only way it can) at 6pm BST

And mail Nick.Miller@theGuardian.com or tweet @NickMiller79

Anthony Martial : Man Utd gamble shows profit in futures market

4.06pm BST

...so that’s one of those three deals mentioned earlier officially confirmed.

4.05pm BST

...which we knew anyway, but it’s officially official now.

4.04pm BST

Two hours to the deadline, and Anthony Martial’s move still hasn’t been confirmed. Could there be a delay in the paperw....no. Surely not. Surely that’s too much to hope for...

4.03pm BST

Nick Ames, who did the early stint on this blog, is still here and working on other things, but he’s found time to bring me a cup of tea. He’s a class act. All about teamwork, this game.

3.56pm BST

Speaking of job-lots, Sky reckon Watford are set to complete the signing of three (3 (three)) players today - Adlene Guedioura will sign a three-year contract, Víctor Ibarbo is on his way from Roma, while young Club Brugge striker Obbi Oulare is also knocking around. That’s 15 new signings for the summer, at Vicarage Road. Bloody nora. Matej Vydra is on his way to Reading, while Miguel Layun did one in the direction of Porto earlier too,

3.51pm BST

...to become roughly their 65th centre-back, and they’re apparently keen on Tiago Ilori from Liverpool, too. Ye gads.

BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: Huge welcome to new signing @JoleonLescott. #AVFC #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/Xb03iXUkg8

3.49pm BST

“Happy. No major injuries, hope to be back for our next Spurs game!” That’s word from Mousa Dembele, who was taken from the field on a stretcher in Tottenham’s last game. So problems solved then, eh Tottenham fans?

3.41pm BST

Poor ol’ Max Gradel is out for what’s been described as a ‘lengthy spell’ with a knee injury, so there might be another in at Bournemouth before the day is out. Shame, as he’s looked excellent in their first few games.

3.35pm BST

Sky’s man in a Leicester car park reckons Nathan Dyer is on his way to sign for them Foxes. Since Dyer is fairly fleet of foot...

3.30pm BST

“Can you check in at Spurs Lodge and see if the lights are on?” asks Eric Breitman. I’ve just had a look and Daniel Levy is taking a nap under a desk, George Costanza style, and Mauricio Pochettino is sitting in a massage chair reading a copy of ‘Infinite Jest’.

On a serious note, it is something of a shambles that they’ve left Harry Kane as their only viable centre-forward. Given Kane didn’t really have a summer break and, of course, only actually has about 2/3 of a season of success behind him, that’s quite the gamble and burden to place on his shoulders.

3.27pm BST

Such is the way with these things now, Charlie Austin appears to have confirmed his future on Twitter. Firstly, he tweeted this...

⚪️⚪️ #9 #QPR big season ahead

3.24pm BST

“Any word on why Bristol City’s new loan signings are both wearing shirts and holding them?” asks Tom Fleuriot, quite reasonably. “Is this the next step up to show commitment to their new team mates? Or is each holding a shirt ready for yet more signings? Or is our photographer out of scarves? I think we should be told.”

Perhaps this is a theme of the transfer window. Guillem Balague was on Sky earlier wearing what appeared to be two jackets simultaneously. Doubling up all round, then, possibly for warmth, possibly in case one item tears. Perhaps it’s a reflection of the prevailing tactical trends of the time, which are generally quite cautious. Anyone else got any theories?

NEWS: #BristolCity secure the season-long loan signing of Aston Villa defender Nathan Baker. http://t.co/lnMZNyQFwi pic.twitter.com/Vac7kt8asv

3.19pm BST

Big one this - Burnley have cancelled Marvin Sordell’s contract by mutual consent. Remember when he was in the Great Britain squad for the 2012 Olympics? Salad days.

3.16pm BST

Let’s just try to head this one off at the pass, to those people emailing in asking to be updated on transfers and such: if we’ve got any updates, I’ll put them in the blog. Which is sort of how this is supposed to work. Good. Glad to clear that up. Cheers.

3.14pm BST

“Is there any chance that Chelsea’s new possible signing, Michael Hector, is related to Kevin Hector,” asks Charles Antaki, “who my memory vaguely recall played in a Chelsea team with, what was it, six other players whose names began with H? Houseman… Hollins… erm… I suppose I could look it up, but I’m supposed to be working.”

Interesting point, Charles, and I can help you there - no, he isn’t, but it’s important to distract ourselves from the grotty business we’re all here for. So anything we can do in order to feel better.

3.09pm BST

This day is enough to make anyone feel pretty grubby about this business of football, so to cleanse yourself and feel a little bit better about the game, and life in general, watch and listen to this. If thousands of Hibs fans singing ‘Sunshine On Leith’ doesn’t give you tingles, you’re in some trouble.

3.06pm BST

Some three hours after Nantes confirmed it, Chelsea have announced the signing of Papy Djilobodji. A leisurely approach on this most frantic of days.

3.03pm BST

Afternoon. Paul Doyle has disappeared into the cool night and now it’s Nick Miller to take you home, to the bitterest of ends. If we stay strong, we can get through it together.

2.49pm BST

Jack Payne joins @leytonorientfc on loan until the end of the season with a view to a permanent move subject to FL approval #DeadlineDay

2.47pm BST

Looks like Uefa has been put in its place.

Our tweet earlier today about @D_DeGea was posted in error. Apologies for any confusion. Please follow @ManUtd and @realmadrid for updates.

2.45pm BST

Aston Villa have signed goalkeeper Matija Sarkic from Anderlecht. if that doesn’t excite you, then allow Villa’s official website to explain why it should: “The 18-year-old stopper has penned a three-year deal with the claret and blues. He has come through the youth system at the Belgian club - which oversaw the development of Vincent Kompany and Romelu Lukaku - and has been playing for their U19 team.”

2.32pm BST

CONFIRMED: #SaintsFC completes the #deadlineday signing of @VirgilvDijk from @celticfc on a five-year contract. https://t.co/2Oj5TEzyin

2.26pm BST

David Hytner deals in facts and he says this: “QPR is poised to take Gabriele Angella from Watford on a season-long loan.”

2.24pm BST

David Sullivan’s son, Jack, has confirmed the signing by West Ham of Michail Antonio from Nottingham Forest on a four-year deal. Emmanuel Adebayor is believed to have begun humming a song...

2.14pm BST

Leicester are about to get Nathan Dyer on loan from Swansea. Solid acquisition, that. Meanwhile, Liam Moore has left the Foxes on loan and joined Bristol City.

2.13pm BST

Let us pause.

2.06pm BST

Here’s a surprise: “Real Madrid have defended their conduct over the failed bid to sign David de Gea and accused Manchester United of holding up the deal.” Sid Lowe is still on the case: read more here.

2.03pm BST

It seems that Virgil Van Dijk’s transfer from Celtic to Southampton is on track, according to FC Groningen’s big cheese, Hans Nijland. Thanks to Koeien below the line for pointing to a report on how Nijland tweeted that he received a text from Ronald Koeman declaring his joy at the deal. Groningen, where Van Dijk played before moving to Scotland, stand to scoop around £700,000 as part of the deal.

1.56pm BST

The jostling for Jonathan Walters is becoming increasingly frenetic as clubs attempt to make him feel at home. Following a reported bid from Leicester, Tony Pulis has somewhat inevitably waded into the fray on behalf of West Brom, and Norwich continue to mill about too.

1.51pm BST

Dom Fifield has more on the Michael Hector to Chelsea move. Sounds like he’s set to become another asset in the club’s ever-expanding buy-to-let property portfolio.

The Reading defender Michael Hector is set to complete a £4m transfer to Chelsea later on Tuesday, though the Jamaica international is then expected to remain at the Championship club on loan for the rest of the current season.

1.46pm BST

The Glenn Murray to Bournemouth transfer has been officially confirmed, with a photo of the striker posing with his new club’s shirt and everything. But I’m suddenly very reluctant to post photos so you’ll not be seeing it here.

1.41pm BST

What this blog needs right now is a graphic. Or maybe not ...

Nope, nothing whatsover wrong with this image pic.twitter.com/KWBe2YPAVg

1.38pm BST

“Spare a thought for my country-fellow Camilo Zúñiga, who has suffered the same fate as De Gea,” pleads Euclides Montes. “Napoli and Sampdoria cocked up the transfer by four minutes and now Zúñiga (who famously came in like a wrecking ball and ended Neymar’s World Cup last year) is stuck in Napoli. Unlike with De Gea, the Napoli coach has already told poor Camilo that he won’t be part of the squad at all.”

1.35pm BST

QPR are looking to shift Junior Hoilett ... and word is Swansea might make their wish come true. And that, surely, is beyond Hoillet’s wildest dreams, given how he’s performed at Loftus Road. Mind you, there’s definitely talent there and if there is one top club that has proven its ability to get the best out of players, it’s canny Swansea.

1.27pm BST

Reports seeping out that Chelsea are lining up another defender, namely Michael Hector, who could join from Reading for around £4m after previously being linked with Crystal Palace. I’ve seen very little of the 23-year-old this season, mainly because he’s been kept out of the Reading team by Anton Ferdinand and Paul McShane.

1.18pm BST

Here’s Sid Lowe’s full lowdown on the De Gea/Real/United botch-job. As an aside, I should add that Sid filed this article well ahead of deadline. Putting Real and United to shame, so he is.

Real Madrid will not fight to complete the signing of David De Gea after they were unable to register the goalkeeper with the Spanish league before the country’s midnight deadline on Monday.

Despite having initially briefed that they had not given up hope, Madrid will not appeal against the decision meaning that De Gea will remain at Old Trafford with Keylor Navas, who was to go in the opposite direction in a deal worth £29.3m to United, to continue at the Santiago Bernabéu. He is out of contract next summer and will be able to leave United on a free transfer.

1.13pm BST

Javier Hernandez has spoken of his reasons for leaving Manchester United for Bayer Leverkusen, saying he needed to feel happy again. It seems The Little Pea became a Little Peeved at being shunned by The Big Tulip at Old Trafford. “I want to go back to feeling important and happy,” Hernandez said. “I want to find happiness. Bayer made me feel important and loved and coming here was not a difficult decision to make. They made me feel wanted. I want to help and achieve important things. I have felt very loved. I hope to accomplish things in my head and in my heart.” And on the pitch; don’t forget about on the pitch, Chicharito.

1.08pm BST

Izzy Brown, like Victor Moses, signs a new four-year contract at #CFC. Currently on loan at Vitesse Arnhem http://t.co/V0JrGdoVkQ

1.03pm BST

I’m not sure whether that last entry constituted good news or bad news - or, dare we say it on this most holy of days, irrelevant bunkum - for Arsenal fans, but here’s something that will definitely deflate Gooners. “There will be no deals in or out at Arsenal today,” says the Guardian’s man in the know, David Hytner. “Even Joel Campbell is staying. Arsene Wenger has bemoaned the weirdness of the market, with too much money and not enough talent.” Are you sure he was talking about the transfer market? ‘Too much money and not enough talent” could equally apply to Arsenal, some might say.

12.59pm BST

“My mate swears that he saw Troy Deeney near Arsenal’s training ground this morning!” gasps Chris Anderson. “Have you heard anything about Wenger wooing him?” Who, Deeney or your mate? As it happens, there’s an excellent change that your chum is telling the truth and that he really did see Deeney heading towards Arsenal’s training ground, but only because Arsenal’s training ground is right beside Watford’s training ground. Remember that if anyone tries to tell you that Heurelho Gomes is poised to oust Petr Cech at Arsenal.

12.51pm BST

You now that balloon of hope to which David De Gea may have been clinging since last night? It’s been pricked. Our man in Spain, Sid Lowe, says that Real Madrid have accepted that there is no point seeking dispensation for the belated conclusion of the deal. Furthermore, Uefa have reportedly declared that De gea “will 100% remain a Manchester United player”, though that statement has not been officially confirmed. But it sure looks like De Gea is staying at Old Trafford. For how long and with what degree of rage, we can’t say for now.

12.48pm BST

Hello. Doyle here, with heavy news: the end of one of an era may soon be upon us. Yes, Jonathan Walters’ days of galumphing heroically around the Britannia Stadium could shortly be over, as Leicester City have reportedly made a bid for the rampaging forward. Here is an old tribute to a player who has not always been as appreciated as he should be.

12.43pm BST

Ok, that’s me done, handing over now to Paul Doyle, who will guide you serenely through the choppy waters – or whatever liquid of more questionable provenance it might be – of the afternoon’s transfer comings and goings. Play nicely.

12.36pm BST

C Gardiner points the way to a dark night of the soul: “Windows can be such delightful things, you can gaze out them and see how they frame a wonderful view, such as star player turning up with a magical glint of sun reflecting off it and promising a bright future; a young blonde Torres arriving at Liverpool; a twinkle toed Aguero smiling back at you etc. But they can also be terrifying portals in to the depraved elements of society. Does anyone want the sinister figure of Adebayor appearing in a flash of lightening at a rain soaked window as the darkness and deadline approach?”

12.35pm BST

Cards on the table from Big Cup.

Confirmation that @D_DeGea will 100% remain a @ManUtd player #UCL #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/HWkys4KzYv

12.33pm BST

Busy old few hours, no? But is YOUR club going to make a late dash

to buy Adobe Reader
for the fax machine?

12.27pm BST

We’ve planned the journey from #Heathrow to the Emirates for @Arsenal’s new striker…if one ever arrives #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/YFyMVzt90Z

Is this a new high or a new low?

12.21pm BST

A fascinating update from Andy Hunter about Everton’s signing of Ramiro Funes Mori – if the suggestions prove true, this is a quite mindboggling state of affairs:

It is being suggested that the reason Ramiro Funes Mori’s price increased from £6.25m to £9.5m was because his River Plate contract entitled him to 50% of any transfer fee and, rather than risk the deal collapsing, Everton decided to pay the extra £3.25m with no central defensive alternatives lined up at this late stage in the window. Also claimed Everton only became aware of Funes Mori’s entitlement late last week. Everton have not confirmed or denied the allegation.

12.17pm BST

And one more Palace morsel from Dom Fifield, which should offset some of the pain of Antonio’s departure for Forest fans:

“Jonny Williams joining Forest on loan, linking up with his former Palace manager Dougie Freedman, rather than Wolves.”

12.15pm BST

Manchester United’s striker exodus looks likely to continue – Jamie Jackson has news that they are looking to send James Wilson out on loan.

12.14pm BST

Some clarity from Dom here on Michail Antonio, as well as another possible Palace move:

“Michail Antonio still likely to join West Ham, not Palace as had been suggested in some places. Michael Hector at Reading remains an option for Palace. Young centre-half, recently made captain. If they don’t sign him in this window, they’ll most likely revisit it in future.”

12.08pm BST

Dom has sent in an update on Joe Ledley’s situation, too. Looks like he’s off on loan:

“Joe Ledley has been granted permission to leave the Wales set-up to address his future: think he is likely to move on loan with a number of clubs, including West Bromwich Albion and Cardiff, having expressed an interest. Palace want £4.5m plus for Ledley to leave them on a permanent deal.”

12.07pm BST

That’s what I’m hearing from Dominic Fifield. Does this mean Palace will go in for another centre-forward now?

12.04pm BST

Another done deal in the Championship, which seems to be where the cream of the Eredivisie wind up nowadays. The Excelsior winger Jordan Botaka has just signed for Leeds.

12.02pm BST

We like it when we receive local #insight, and here is some from Frederik de Brant on potential Watford signing Obbi Oulare:

“Watford target Obbi Oulare (19) is a raw talent. He’s a tall and strong target man (6ft 5in), but at the same time quite fast. Just last weekend he scored a goal with a massive strike. So, where’s the catch? Well, he lacks stamina. Over the last year it has become a topic in Belgian media. The physios at Club Bruges have been working a full year on his stamina, but Oulare still isn’t able completing 1 half of football. Even getting cramps after 40 minutes. In the Belgian league that is. So I guess he’ll last about 15 minutes in the Premier League.”

11.56am BST

Lots of people suggesting Papy Djilobodji wasn’t exactly fancied by several other Premier League clubs – so what brought Chelsea to his door?

11.54am BST

Here’s a trip down memory lane. Joaquin has just re-signed for Real Betis from Fiorentina. Let’s see how he dovetails with fellow gifted veteran Rafael van der Vaart.

11.48am BST

Just heard from Danny Taylor that a Berbatov move to Villa is indeed possible. More as we get it....

11.45am BST

And FC Nantes confirm Papy Djilobodji is a #CFC player, at around £2.7m and on a four-year contract... http://t.co/XW0gTvcGQJ

Tell us how you think he’ll do.

11.42am BST

Our West Ham story from earlier this morning now has more on the Jelavic deal.

11.40am BST

But have Arsenal signed anyone yet?

11.36am BST

Two-year deal for the Croatian, and the Hammers’ third confirmed signing of the day after Moses and Song.

11.30am BST

Uncomfortable reality of Adebayor situation for Levy: Does he really want to pay 100k-a-wk for a player who will not play?

The spectre of Adebayor has loomed in the darkness behind everything in this window, hasn’t it? A few have been linked, and perhaps have even dabbled properly, but nobody has signed him. And Spurs clearly won’t be playing him. What to do? It’s a strange, strange situation.

11.24am BST

And a little bit more from David Conn:

With all eyes feverishly on the huge money Premier League clubs get to spend on players - and pay to players in wages - due to their TV money, worth reading this excellent corrective piece by Barney Ronay. A reminder that the TV money paid to clubs by Sky and BT comes from you, us, the fans, the people, charged ever more to watch the national game - as the Thierry Henry Sky advert cheerfully proclaims - for all 23 years since the Premier League breakaway of 1992. Twenty-three years, and never a single top flight league game shown live on BBC or ITV.

11.21am BST

Transfer fee inflation, TV deals ... if it’s all tying you in knots, you’ll be glad that none other than David Conn has just emailed to clear a few things up:

The perception that transfer fees this summer have inflated due to the new TV deal do not appear to be quite right. Confusing, but it is important to realise that the new TV deal, of which the £5.136bn from Sky and BT is only for the UK live rights, does not start until next season; it runs from 2016-19. The Premier League is expecting a further £3bn from overseas TV companies for the rights to broadcast (and charge viewers for) our globally ubiquitous league, so the TV money will increase 60% from next year.

Although the fees are huge this summer, the money being spent now comes from the final year of the 2013-16 deals, which were £5.5bn altogether, for UK and overseas rights. That is still hugely more than any other league in Europe, and the Premier League is financially dominant in the market for players, but the money being spent this summer is broadly on a par with last. Accountants Deloitte have just issued their running total, reckoning that Premier League clubs’ gross (perhaps in both senses of the word) spending, with seven hours to go till the window closes, is currently £790m, still £45m short of the £835m set in the Angel di Maria summer of 2014.

11.16am BST

A done deal in the Championship: Wolves have signed Swindon winger Nathan Byrne on a three-year contract.

11.13am BST

Potentially big news from Madrid on De Gea, brought to you by the Spanish newspaper El Pais via our man Sid Lowe...

The newspaper quotes LFP (Spain’s football league) as saying: “Rules are for everyone ... FIFA has no jurisdiction.” It means they are refusing to register De Gea,

11.10am BST

David Hytner has a further morsel for us on Alex Song and West Ham:

“Alex Song would have preferred to join West Ham on a permanent, long-term deal but he understands that with his injury as it is at the moment, the club had to err on the side of caution with the loan. After a summer of uncertainly, he is just happy to have his immediate future sorted.”

11.09am BST

It appears Dimitar Berbatov is in Birmingham today and looks like signing for Villa on a free transfer. Medical may be an issue though #avfc

Who had ‘Villa’?

11.07am BST

Worth pointing out that Moses signed a new four-year contract at Chelsea before that loan to West Ham, thus rendering him unsellable for a further ... let’s say ... three years and condemning him to spells with Leicester (2016-17) and Southampton (2017-18).

11.02am BST

BREAKING: The Hammers are delighted to confirm the arrival of @VictorMoses on loan. http://t.co/N1l1JM9ZZu #WHUFC pic.twitter.com/qFCnjkeI6L

Victor Moses loves a loan.

11.01am BST

Jamie Jackson has news of a forward who won’t be joining Manchester United:

“In news that may - or may not - disappoint/cheer/confuse/leave non-plussed the global Manchester United fan base the club have indicated there is no interest in landing Atletico Madrid’s Antoine Griezmann, who is a forward and goalscorer of some accomplishment...”

11.00am BST

“I’m afraid that no mention of insanity in this transfer window can made until we reach peak Odemwingie,” Mark Smith observes. “What will we see? John Stones hiding behind the bins at Stamford bridge hoping to ambush Jose while he’s on the way to his office?”

Me, I have particularly high hopes of seeing Saido Berahino frantically flagging down the 259 from King’s Cross to Tottenham High Road later.

10.57am BST

Liverpool news just in from Andy Hunter. Is Jose Enrique going to West Brom?

The ‘Melwood 3’ could all be released by the end of today. Mario Balotelli, Fabio Borini and Jose Enrique have spent most of their summer training apart from Liverpool’s first team squad as Brendan Rodgers does all he can to usher the trio - bought by the Anfield club for a combined cost of £32.5m - out of the door. With Borini sold to Sunderland and Balotelli loaned to Milan, Enrique is the last man standing (or just lounging back and taking photos of himself on instagram) but is now in talks over a move to West Bromwich Albion. Liverpool have happily given the left-back permission to discuss a transfer and it now rests on whether Enrique can agree personal terms and pass a medical.

10.49am BST

Wondering what you can expect from new boy Dieumerci Mbokani, Norwich fans? Wonder no longer...

10.46am BST

The Scottish transfer window closes at midnight, allowing for some late tomfoolery north of the border. Kevin Montgomery has been kind enough to round up some of the key concerns for Celtic:

“Hoping the revolving door at Celtic Park brings in more quality after our disappointing Champions League exit. Apparently Croatian Centre-half Jozo Simunovic arriving on a 4 year deal for £5 million (sadly unsure if this is inflation adjusted) from Zagreb.
“Ryan Christie also arriving from Inverness for the princely net spend of £500k. Taxis arriving at Celtic Park for Virgil Van Djik (Southampton bound apparently) and misfiring striker Stefan Scepovic who goes to Getafe on season long loan.”

10.42am BST

My inbox is currently approximately 1200% busier than when there’s some football on.

10.40am BST

.@nickames82 Credit to Everton for trying to sign a Jorge Luis Borges short story. #FunesMori

Now this is the standard of interaction you should be aspiring to.

10.35am BST

Another Everton update from our man Andy Hunter has just landed in my inbox. Technology really is this simple, United fans!

At a sudden £9.5m, Ramiro Funes Mori is the most expensive defender in Everton’s history. The 24-year-old is also the costliest defender that Roberto Martinez has signed in his managerial career. The former River Plate centre-half meets one of Martinez’s three requirements before the end of this window but it remains to be seen whether Everton will also land the ‘number 10’ playmaker and striker their manager wants. Aaron Lennon in on a permanent deal from Tottenham and Aiden McGeady out on loan could materialise, however.

10.32am BST

The Belgian journalist Kristof Terreur says talks are ongoing between Watford, who are behaving chaotically in this window, and representatives of Club Brugge striker Obbi Oulare.

10.29am BST

Craig Fawcett is, so to speak, on the money:

“I feel that inflation-indexed net spend chats are dull. Surely the best and most appropriate way to measure fees is to index them to the most crazy transfer in the window, so Anthony Martial becomes 4 Andre Grays or 2.4 Mitrovics. Call it the Carroll scale.”

10.25am BST

This will reel ‘em back in – an update on the De Gea situation. Manchester United are relaxed about what has unfolded...

United view Real’s tactic of leaving their bid late for De Gea as having backfired on the Spanish side. It is understood the first bid they received for De Gea was at lunchtime yesterday. Real are considering an appeal to Fifa in the hope that can rescue the deal.

10.20am BST

I understand if this is alienating you, because it’s alienating me too, but this is from Siddharth Upasani:

“I think the term inflation-adjusted makes sense for football transfers. Obviously, the rate of inflation in European football (probably upwards of 10%) is much higher than that in the European economy (sub-2%) in general. What can be a measure of the European football inflation is the rate at which television money is increasing. TV money is the biggest source of income for clubs, at least those in England, and the premier league is setting the price levels, at least when they are involved in a deal. So the latest TV deal was for £5.136bn, 71% above last time around. Now with player wages forming around 50-60% of total income for EPL clubs, we can expect pan-European football inflation to be roughly in line (but less than) with the rise in EPL TV money, considering it dwarfs all other sources of revenue.

10.19am BST

The transfer deadline might bring you to tears, but it has provoked Barnaby and his band, SDSS, into song:

10.13am BST

I remember a simpler time, a day of snow and Andrey Arshavin and a broadcaster’s sources saying he was on a flight back to St Petersburg.

10.10am BST

In the Championship, Reading seem ready to spend some cash. They’ve signed Chelsea’s Lucas Piazon on loan, are in for Benfica’s Ola John and are now being linked with Watford’s Matej Vydra. I can’t see what can possibly go wrong for half of the Championship this season.

10.08am BST


net spend
transfer news! Here’s an update to our earlier West Ham/Alex Song story, confirming that Victor Moses is poised to join him. When it’s a Done Deal you’ll see it in big writing here.

10.06am BST

@NickAmes82 An alternative way is to measure against the club income. Zidane €75m / 138m RM income = 54%. Martial €80m / 518m MU inc = 15%

I can’t take this.

10.02am BST

Prashan Hirant asks: “Even after signing of Martial, Man Utd look too light upfront. Have you been hearing any murmurs regarding potential deals for attacking players/strikers?”

I encourage you, and everyone else, to scroll back half an hour or so. Jamie Jackson thinks there may yet be more mischief afoot at Old Trafford....

10.00am BST

Sunderland struggling to offload Will Buckley due to high wages. Leeds move on loan is now very unlikely #safc #lufc

You sense that Sunderland will be counting the cost of a couple of years’ frankly disastrous transfer dealings for some time to come.

9.58am BST

@NickAmes82 On a scale of Evra to Falcao, how do you think @ManUtd's latest recruit from Monaco will fair?

It’s hard to say, ‘Fail Much’. Potentially towards the Evra scale, but there are so many variables at this age. I’m no expert on Martial but have seen him five or six times: he’s definitely exciting, quick, strong, direct and can finish, but still needs to do quite a lot of work on his all-round game as far as I can tell. This looks like a lot of money for a “perhaps”, in all honesty.

9.49am BST

I’m still talking about net spend.

Just remember, talk about net spend https://t.co/1x0J6D7PuF

9.49am BST

Is “inflation adjusted” the new “net spend”, fella? Rory McGee tells us that it is:

“Can we have a moratorium on the term inflation adjusted? It’s the new net spend and about as informative. It’s obvious that football prices have risen at a faster rate than standard prices. Adjusting them with CPI or RPI is clearly stupid. It might matter for a discussion about the largesse in football or the sickening amount of money, but when we weigh up transfers it ignores something key. There is effectively a limited supply of footballers and football clubs, for whom the outside value of the money doesn’t matter as much. When you buy your ‘NextBigThingTM’ thanks to the generous backing of ‘SugarDaddyOwner’ or ‘FansOverpayingForTV’ it only really matters who else you could have bought for that money, i.e. the price of ‘OverTheHill’.”

9.46am BST

News of a pretty significant transfer in Italy: Juventus have signed Hernanes from Inter Milan for an initial €11m on a three-year deal. It’s a welcome reinforcement given that the likes of Andrea Pirlo, Arturo Vidal and Carlos Tevez have left the Champions League runners-up this summer.

9.43am BST

Want some more Funes Mori? Have some more Funes Mori.

9.41am BST

How are you spending this deadline day? Full marks if you can present evidence of waiting outside a training ground gate.

9.36am BST

@NickAmes82 Surely someone has to buy Charlie Austin? Your best guess? Or is QPR blocking any move?

I think Austin would be sold for the right price, Thomas, which seems to be £15m. He’d have struck me as a good signing for someone like Norwich, but I’m not sure if they’re on for another striker after getting Dieumerci Mbokani (though I would be if I were them). As Dom says below, perhaps don’t rule out Palace – especially with Glenn Murray, who Alan Pardew said was his “number one No9” just three weeks ago, heading out of the door....

9.33am BST

Two more imminent...

Told that fee for Michail Antonio from Forest to West Ham is an initial £6m. Expect deal to be announced later on #whufc #nffc

Glenn Murray move from #cpfc to Bournemouth not completed yet but will be pretty shortly. Fee is £5m

9.25am BST

And more from Dom, this time on Chelsea. Quieter than Selhurst Park but one arrival should be rubber-stamped:

Chelsea should complete the arrival of Papy Djilobodji from Nantes for around £2.7m and may explore other incoming options, though their pursuit of more marquee signings – John Stones, Paul Pogba and the like - will presumably have to be put back until future windows. There will be further loan departures from Stamford Bridge: Victor Moses to West Ham United, Nathaniel Chalobah to Napoli, maybe exits for Islam Feruz and John Swift.

9.24am BST

And a very interesting update just in from Jamie Jackson in Manchester. Who else could be coming through the door at Old Trafford, and who’ll be entrusted with sending those emails?

Despite – or maybe because of – the expected £36m spend on the potential of Anthony Martial, Manchester United remain open to signing a new forward, and possibly bringing in players in other positions before the window closes this evening.

9.21am BST

Meanwhile, it could be a busy day for early high fliers Crystal Palace. Dominic Fifield has told us why:

It will be a day of trimming for Crystal Palace, initially at least, as they seek to bring their senior squad down to 25. Glenn Murray is currently undergoing a medical at Bournemouth in a deal that could amount to £5m - £3m up front and a further £2m linked to the Cherries staying up this season and next - while Barry Bannan departed for Sheffield Wednesday yesterday. Fraizer Campbell is interesting Wednesday and Norwich City, while Adlene Guedioura and Zeki Fryers are also available. Mile Jedinak is unlikely to be moving to Stoke, though there is interest from West Bromwich Albion and Watford in the Australia captain. One of Jedinak and Joe Ledley is likely to leave. Jonathan Williams has suitors in the Championship, including Wolverhampton Wanderers, who could take the Wales international on loan. A loan bid from Aston Villa for Dwight Gayle has been rejected. Once numbers have been reduced, Palace could then attempt to reinforce further with interest retained in Leonardo Ulloa at Leicester or, dare it be said, Charlie Austin at Queens Park Rangers.

9.19am BST

Here is our man on Merseyside, Andy Hunter, writing for you on the Funes Mori deal:

Everton have completed their first signing of what might prove a hectic final day with Ramiro Funes Mori sealing his move from River Plate. Everton have stated the final fee is £9.5m (a sum that includes a necessary percentage to the Argentinian football federation) - a £3.5m increase on what was supposedly agreed for the 24-year-old central defender only 10 days ago. Seems it may not have been international clearance that was the cause of the hold-up after all. The Argentina defender was called up for forthcoming internationals having impressed in his previous club’s Copa Liberatores’ triumph this summer and is competition, not a replacement, for John Stones and Phil Jagielka.

9.18am BST

@nickames82 "Plus cher que Zidane" - oh I don't know, even on inflation-adjusted basis? C'mon U're the journalist, clear that up 4 us!

A mere football journalist, Thistlethwaite, but the thought had struck me too.

9.17am BST

“Anything happening with the Gunners? Last rumour was Wenger in Paris?” asks Howard Grieve from New Zealand.

Probably too early to have fun with Arsenal fans yet but I’m sure we can get round to it.

9.16am BST

Maajid emails with some insight on Funes Mori. We like insight. Here it is:

“He’s aggressive (sometimes needlessly), very good in the air, decent with the ball at his feet but that consistency suffers when he’s pressed aggressively, not the quickest on the half turn and his partner will have to cover in behind when he attacks aerial balls. More ‘Vidic’ than Rio, that’s for sure.”

9.15am BST

Now you might not know a lot about Kemen, and I don’t really either, but he is a 19-year-old French midfielder who has been playing in Newcastle’s Under-21 team. No longer – Lyon have signed him for €700,000.

9.07am BST

Speaking of incredulous-sounding foreign press, here’s L’Equipe on soon-to-be-United-new-boy Anthony Martial. Little explanation necessary:

Front page of @lequipe this morning pic.twitter.com/RCQB5Nv5gG

9.05am BST

Kept us waiting a little for that one, did the Toffees, but they’ve snapped up the River Plate defender for £9.5m on a four-year deal. If you’ve seen him play, tell us what you know.

9.04am BST

“Are you going to widen the brief and keep us update on non-Premiership stuff? Otherwise it’s going to be very repetitive?” worries Mike Waring.

Think you might be looking for the rugby blog, Mike. But this is a broad church and we will get through what we can. But this is a broad church and we will get through what we can.

8.59am BST

One possible exit from the Premier League today could be Norwich’s Bradley Johnson, who has been strongly linked with Championship spendthrifts Derby County. Just one of many to keep an eye on....

8.55am BST

Happily, Alex Song to #WHU is a thing again. The purgatorial roundabout spins ever onwards. #DeadlineDay @NickAmes82 pic.twitter.com/CVESTaaxRQ

If you missed it last week, this is by a husband-and-wife team who drew out all the stickers in the last Panini World Cup album. Think about that for a minute.

8.53am BST

So what are the chances of the De Gea move going through? Very high, if you’re enough of an old cynic to believe that Real Madrid wouldn’t let a little thing like bureaucracy stop them getting exactly what they want. But there seems to be some precedent for this kind of thing not happening in the form of Bryan Ruiz’s broken-down loan from Fulham to Levante earlier this year. Back then, the paperwork was received – sound familiar? – one minute after the deadline and, despite an appeal, Levante weren’t allowed to get their man. But Levante are Levante and Real Madrid are....

8.49am BST

Our man David Squires captures the essence of deadline day perfectly. Remember this masterpiece, from February?

Related: David Squires on … transfer deadline day

8.45am BST

Bang. The winner of East London’s Best Dressed Deep-Lying Midfielder 2014 is back with us on another season-long loan.

8.42am BST

This is it. This is your reward, fanboys and fangirls, for your assiduous dedication to the transfer cause – whether it be this blog or the even greater good – since the window did the opposite of slamming shut on 1 July. Over the next 10 hours or so, yellow ties will be worn, “Email Attachments For Dummies” courses will be attended and plenty of people will do things they might come to regret in the morning.

Perhaps not quite as giddily as in previous times, as today’s window slams shut at 6pm UK time, which robs us of a late-night vigil at the altar of Andrey Arshavin and means any nutcase who has taken the day off work for this farrago might just get to grunt at their family a few times tonight.

#LaPortada 'Ridículo' pic.twitter.com/zm4WQzECSa

11.39am BST

Hello. Nick will be here shortly to guide you through transfer deadline day. While we wait for deals to be inked and come-and-get-me pleas to finally be answered, here’s the latest nuggets of transfer news.

Only one place to start, and that’s with the last-minute additional chapter of the David de Gea saga. Farcical paperwork issues mean that the deal is hanging in the balance. It could be a morning of undignified wrangling, with both clubs planning to stamp their feet until they get their own way. United also need to get around to rubber-stamping the arrival of Monaco’s Anthony Martial, and could make more attacking additions with Adnan Januzaj and Javier Hernández heading off to the Bundesliga.

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