Kermit and co's 1996 adventure beats Christmas Carol and 2011's lauded return as my official favourite Muppet film ever
It's time to start the music, it's time to light the lights … it's time to watch back-to-back Muppets until the inside of my brain turns into blue felt.
I've always been a Muppet at heart so when I heard the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square was holding an all-day Muppet marathon, I got there quicker than the Great Gonzo shot from a cannon. Seven films were in the lineup (the TV movies were omitted) and the atmosphere in the room was buzzing. I have to admit I was jealous of the couple in Gonzo and Kermit hoodies (complete with a blue hooked nose on the hood, and green neck ruffle respectively). There were Fozzies in every cup holder, and Muppet-themed straws in every drink.
Watching so many Muppet films in quick succession is an odd but worthwhile experience. It's interesting to see how each reflects its own decade – the cameos, jokes and even plots – from the boom years of the 80s, all diamonds and glitter, to the down-on-their-luck opening in last year's reboot. Our dress-wearing pig and friends have weathered the years. Let's see if the films stand up.
The Muppet Movie, 1979
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Three years after the start of The Muppet Show, their first film was born. The tale of how the band of assorted creatures first met was drawn together through a road trip to Hollywood in Fozzie's Studebaker (borrowed from a hibernating uncle). This film is the root of the brand – catchy songs, running gags and lots of pre-CGI trickery: Kermit riding a bicycle is particularly impressive. My favourite scene features Miss Piggy and Kermit's first date, with Steve Martin as a sarcastic waiter, in inexplicably tiny shorts.
The Great Muppet Caper, 1981
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My favourite of the three films prior to Jim Henson's tragic sudden death, this film follows Kermit, Fozzie (who are portrayed as identical twins: 'Look daddy, a bear.' 'No sweetie, that's a frog, bears wear hats.') and Gonzo as investigative reporters following up the case of a London socialite's stolen diamonds. It's a stylish film featuring some hilarious and rather elegant ensemble dances starring the glorious Miss Piggy – her synchronised swimming number is particularly fine. Extra points for John Cleese appearing as a too-posh-to-function gent, who reacts to Piggy invading his mansion with a perfectly deadpan one-liner.
The Muppets Take Manhattan, 1984
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Featuring the first Muppet Babies scene in a fantasy segment, this led to the cartoon which brightened up my childhood. A tribute to New York, the story focuses on a musical penned by Kermit, which the gang are desperate to take to Broadway. Amnesia, love triangles and a fantastic porcine bubble-perm ensue. The plot of my least favourite of the three classic Muppet films is less slick than those that preceded it, and none of the songs quite match up to the nostalgic melancholy of The Rainbow Connection from The Muppet Movie, a film that won numerous awards including a Golden Globe.
The Muppet Christmas Carol, 1992
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Well, it was never going to be A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie, was it? (Which incidentally was a made-for-TV production following almost the exact same plot as 2011's The Muppets, except not as well, and with Whoopi Goldberg.) A touching version of the Dickens classic starring Michael Caine as Scrooge, this was the first cinema-released film post Disney takeover, and though I'm almost loth to say it, the production values are high, with slick animation, catchy songs and real attention to detail. Best moments include Statler and Waldorf as the cynical but simultaneously creepy Marley brothers, and the bit where the bonnet-clad mouse family sing "no cheeses for us meeces" … awww.
Best overall: Muppet Treasure Island, 1996
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Not many people will agree (the results of a lazy poll show most folk lean towards Christmas Carol) but I have a huge soft spot for this swaskbuckling adventure. Featuring the comedian Kevin Bishop looking all ruddy-cheeked and wholesome, Tim Curry as the alluring Long John Silver and Miss Piggy as a tribal queen with a pet anteater, it's got something for everyone who likes grog. Or sand. Or songs about insanity. This got me through many a "Where is my life going?" moment at university, and was the first film I ever watched with my boyfriend (his favourite is also Gonzo – a prerequisite for any relationship).
Muppets from Space, 1999
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I really want to like this film more than I do, especially as it stars Gonzo, but it's just not terribly funny. It's mostly a victim of being preceded by two of the best Muppet films; both are retellings of classic stories, so this tale of the banana-nosed hero trying to find his real family (aliens, naturally) is just a little weak. I did enjoy the prison for rats though, which turns out to be an animal-testing laboratory.
The Muppets, 2011
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I found it difficult to justify my reaction to the news that the Muppets would be reuniting for a new film. It involved a jig. I'm not proud. While the plot seemed a little familiar and it wasn't quite back to the glory days of the 90s, it was, as always, a joy to see them. The highlight was the songs by Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Concords, particularly the melodrama of Man or Muppet; a duet with Jason Segel and his puppet brother Walter. Segel concluded he was the former. There's no doubting I'm Muppet through and through.
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