[Editor's Note: The Houston Press has reported that Linda Tirado's viral blog post "Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts" is yet another Internet hoax. Here is another blogger's perspective on what's it's like to be the working poor. --Grace]
I was inspired to write this after learning about Mrs. Tirado aka KillerMartini’s essay. People will either love me or hate me for this, but I felt compelled to respond.
Let me say up front that I do not begrudge Mrs. Tirando her turn in fortune. I do not want to discourage people from continuing to give to her cause. I wish her the very best and if it makes her life a bit easier, and helps her deal with her dental issues then that is a worthy cause.
I do hope that she will become a true voice of people living in poverty. I have even offered to be one of her research subjects should she decide to move forward with her book plans. I believe she has been given an opportunity to do good things and make a difference and I sincerely hope that she takes advantage of it.
That being said I don’t believe Mrs. Tirado painted a true picture of the working poor.
Image Credit: Borman818 via Flickr
I could relate to some of the things expressed in Mrs. Tirado’s essay such as being bone tired, lacking dental care, and the means to dress and look the way society expects of a professional in the workplace. But for the most part we see things very differently.
So what do the working poor look like?
We look just like you, except for the dark circles under our eyes, you might never know that we live paycheck to paycheck in constant fear of anything going wrong. A simple case of the flu could be disastrous for those of us that cannot afford to give up even a few hours of pay let alone a few days. A flat tire, unexpected expense and kids school field trip are things we dread because we know that there is no way we can afford these things unless we let something else go.
You might not know from looking at me that our annual household income is less than $20 thousand dollars. You might not guess that I work 45-50 hours a week as a staff reporter for a local paper, that I am a mother of five, or that I attend college full time 12-15 hours a semester. You might not know that they only reason I can afford to attend college is because I received an honors scholarship and qualify for grants.
You couldn’t tell that I have had numerous sleepless nights staying up into the wee hours to finish homework, or meet deadline at work. It is not obvious that I have given up precious time with my family to ensure a better future for them.
You wouldn’t know that my husband is a veteran with a myriad of medical problems or that we have been unable to get him on disability, because the system is a nightmare. There is no way you could know that he keeps the household running smoothly so that I can work and go to school and chase my dreams or that I could never accomplish so much without his utter devotion and undying support.
This is who I am. It is who we are.
We are the working poor.
We are intelligent and hardworking just like you. We go to work every day and we come home to our families every night. Just like you.
Some of us, such as myself, try to better ourselves and the lives of our family by furthering our education, even though we know it means going into debt to cover school expenses, something we had not done up until that point.
We do it even though it means even less rest than we get already. We do it and we push through the days we feel like there is no way to keep going. We do it because we have to. We do it because we believe that there is something better out there. Some of us do it because we feel it is the only way to, not only improve our lives, but to put ourselves in a position where we can improve the lives of others.
Almost every non-traditional student I know who is busting their ass working their way through school is majoring in a public service field. The will be serving society as social workers, teachers, and human rights attorneys. Many of those who are not in, what could traditionally be considered a public service field, also intend to serve the public.
I am a New Media Communications major, my future plans including teaching, lecturing and writing. My interests lie in the convergence of Information Communication Technology and Education. Specifically how we can utilize those tools to engage, educate and empower marginalized groups. I have notebooks full of ideas and dreams including book ideas, business ideas, and pilot programs to help the poor just to name a few.
Some people will ask, why don’t you take those ideas and run with them? My response is WHEN? I don’t have time to fully develop them, so I jot them down in hopes that one day I will have the time. Between full time work, full load at school, and a family when am I supposed to peruse those ideas? Hopes and Dreams don’t pay the bills. It is just another luxury we cannot afford.
I am not depressed despite living in poverty, what I lack in financial security is more than made up for in the form of the love and support I receive from friends and family. That is not to say that I never have down days. I have days where I am so exhausted I worry about how I am going to make the hour commute to and from school. I dread dragging my butt out to cover that night meeting for work. Some days I wonder why I am killing myself to get ahead and wonder if I will truly ever get there.
I don’t turn to cigarettes or any other drug or stimulate to get me through it. I don’t sleep with random strangers to make myself feel loved or beautiful. I just have to give myself a mental shake to remind myself that I haven’t been killing myself for the past three years to throw it all away now.
I receive an even better reminder of what I am working so hard for when I walk through the door each night and am greeted by my family. If I did not have their constant support there would be no way I could keep going, so I guess you could say they are my stimulant. I know they are my inspiration.
Mrs. Tirado spoke about the fact that part of the reason she ended up in a bad position was because of poor life decisions and bad financial decisions. I don’t believe that she was insinuating that is true for everyone in poverty, but I wanted to make it clear that it absolutely not true for the majority.
The working poor are generally extremely conscientious and frugal because they realize that it only takes one small misstep to find themselves homeless or in dire straits. Most of us would never dream of intentionally doing anything that would place our families in that situation. Sometimes it happens anyway, but usually due to some unforeseen circumstance, such as an extended illness, or loss of employment, not because we were irresponsible.
We live within our means and have only the basics to cover which is part of the reason why we have kept our heads above water for this long. The bulk of my paycheck goes to rent.
We know what it is like to have no gifts under the tree at Christmas and other holidays including birthdays. We know what it is like to have to tell a five year old you cannot take them bowling for their birthday, because you cannot afford it. We know how it feels to have to deny your children small pleasures that others take for granted such as going to the movies with friends.
We know what it is like to put off going to the doctor and showing up for work no matter how sick you might be because you have no other choice. We know what is like to have crumbling teeth and to live in constant pain because we can’t afford to take care of the issues that plague us.
We also know what it is like to be judged by others for all of these things.
We are told we should take better care of our teeth and they wouldn’t rot. If you cannot afford to take care of the decayed teeth, the bacteria spreads and you have even bigger problems. People assume you either are nasty and don’t take care of your teeth or you are a drug user. Neither of which would hold true for me. I carry dental floss in my purse to floss after meals when I am out of the house and I abhor drugs. I don’t even like to take Tylenol.
We are looked over for jobs because we don’t fit the mold society thinks we should. We don’t have manicured nails, highlights in our hair, nice clothes and a pretty smile. People may say that looks don’t matter when it comes to a job interview, that it is all about qualifications, but we know that isn’t true. Our society is image driven.
We are told you shouldn’t have kids if you cannot afford them. Would anyone have children if they had to wait until they could really afford them?
Oh and for the record you can be poor and still raise wonderful children.
We tend to lavish our kids with love and attention rather than things. That is okay, really it is.
I have five children. Two are adults and the other three range in age from 5 – 13. My oldest child is a freshman in college, married and has children of her own. My 18 year old is a senior in high school who plans to attend college in the Fall.
All of my children are incredibly loving and have good hearts. I couldn’t be more proud of them and I think they are proud of me too. Being poor has taught us the value of a dollar, but more importantly it taught us that there is greater value in things you cannot buy.
It isn’t fun to live paycheck to paycheck. You don’t really live at all. It would be more accurate to say we subsist, all the while praying that nothing unexpected comes along. You keep working your ass off to try and get to a point where you can actually live, because subsisting just really isn’t that fun.
I could easily go on and on about the daily grind of the working poor and maybe I will do that in book form or better yet in blog form. I couldn’t promise I would have time to jot something down every single day but probably weekly. If I believed it would lend a voice to the working poor and help those who have never had to live this way better understand us it would be worthwhile.
I can see how it would be easy for some living this way to lose hope. It is disheartening to realize that no matter how hard you work you cannot get ahead. The only reason I see light at the end of the tunnel is because I am fortunate enough to go to college. I am a Junior, but want to earn a Masters so I have a few years to go yet. It isn’t easy doing this at 42-years-old, but it is doable and I will make it. I will use my education to work on this issue and others, to change mindsets and policies that keep the impoverished from raising their status.
So I am tempted to start a gofundme account. Lord knows I could use the money and it would be an interesting social experiment. Do people really want to know what it is like to live this way or do they prefer the picture of poverty painted by Mrs. Tirado?
If I did start a gofund me the money would go towards living expenses. I would love to be able to quit my job and find something part time on campus or in my field. I would love to have free time to write and further explore some of my ideas. I would love to be able to, for once, focus 100% on something. That is another luxury the working poor usually don’t have. Between work and school I never have any down time and I never get to fully focus my attention on one or the other.
I have often wondered just what I could do if I could focus my full attention on school. I currently have a 3.798 GPA, an honors scholarship and multiple awards despite having so many other responsibilities that pull my attention away from school. I am not bragging, although I am extremely proud of my accomplishments, I am just saying imagine what I could accomplish if I didn’t have to divide my time.
The money would not be squandered it would be used solely to relieve the daily stress associated with the uncertainty that comes with living paycheck to paycheck. Then I could focus that energy on educational opportunities and my family.
The fact is I probably won’t start a gofundme because it just doesn’t feel right. Why should I get a break and not have to work my way through school when there are so many other who have and are doing just that?
Although I may take a friends suggestion and try to use it to raise funds to fix my teeth something that has ailed me for too many years. Something I cannot afford to fix despite having dental insurance through work. Something that I believe holds me back in my career and in school. Even with the insurance the cost of having the work done and getting dentures would be over four grand AFTER insurance. It is ridiculous that people cannot afford basic dental and health care, but that is a rant for another day.