Getting to the 2016 Rio Olympics requires planning, precision and hard work. So does making sure you don't waste a second of those precious two weeks in August watching suboptimal basketball.
There will be over 10,000 athletes competing in more than 300 events from August 5-21, and if you want to maximize the joy you've been waiting four years to experience, you're going to have to make some difficult viewing decisions.
For competitors and viewers alike, Olympic competition demands sacrifice. Seek out the exciting squads—the ones with beautiful styles and compelling figures. Ditch the rest because you just can't watch them all. Don't compromise. Prioritize!
These are your official (unofficial) Olympic basketball watchability tiers, ranked from worst to best.
Abort! Try Team Rowing Instead
China
Yi Jianlian's four CBA MVPs and four titles make him a Chinese Basketball Association megastar. Of course, he's also a 2007 NBA lottery flameout best known for dominating a folding chair in predraft workouts. Though it might seem intriguing to see how Yi fares against Olympic competition (which could test him more thoroughly than CBA opponents and furniture alike), there's just not enough on the rest of the roster to justify your time.
The Houston Rockets and Memphis Grizzlies drafted Zhou Qi and Wang Zhelin, respectively, but both looked so wildly overmatched in exhibition play against Team USA (see 107-57 dismantling on July 26) that we shouldn't expect much from them in Rio.
Venezuela
Maybe things would be different if Greivis Vasquez were playing, but Venezuela's top talent won't be involved in Rio. After consulting with the Brooklyn Nets, with whom the 29-year-old point guard signed a one-year, $4.3 million deal this summer, Vasquez withdrew from competition, per a statement relayed by ESPN.com's Mike Mazzeo.
Venezuela is in the tournament by virtue of a controversial last-second win over Canada and a major upset against Argentina in the final two rounds of the FIBA Americas championship last September. Without Vasquez and lacking any other renowned talent, don't expect a repeat thriller from the 22nd-ranked team in the world.
OK, But Only If There's No Archery On
Nigeria
Nigeria will field a roster featuring Festus Ezeli, Al-Farouq Aminu and Detroit Pistons rookie Michael Gbinije. Ike Diogu, whom you almost certainly don't remember as the No. 9 pick in the 2005 NBA draft, will suit up, too.
There are talented bigs on this club, but the shaky backcourt play (Josh Akognon and his three career NBA games will do a lot of the ball-handling) means it'll be hard for Nigeria to utilize its strength up front. Defensively, Nigeria looked a mess in exhibition play against Argentina on July 19, getting diced up with quick passes and springing leaks in a porous zone defense. D'Tigers fired off 35 threes in that game, though, which contributed to a 96-92 win.
With plenty of athleticism, porous defense and a trigger-happy offensive approach, Nigeria figures to be part of some up-and-down, high-scoring, sloppy affairs. That's enough to get it out of the bottom tier.
Brazil
Chicago Bulls fans get a special must-watch exemption because of Cristiano Felicio, who could see real playing time with Anderson Varejao and Tiago Splitter sidelined. Everyone else can peg Brazil as a low priority, though.
Nene's skills are receding at age 33, and though Marcelo Huertas did this in an NBA game once, he and Raul Neto are a couple of the blandest ball-handlers you'll see.
Playing in front of a home crowd will juice things up a bit, and there's a chance Brazil is good enough to medal (fourth-best odds to win the whole thing, according to Odds Shark). But there's just not enough highlight potential or up-and-coming-talent intrigue here to warrant a higher rating.
Lithuania
Jonas Valanciunas is Lithuania's best player, and his ongoing development in international play should interest Toronto Raptors supporters most of all. Alongside him, point guard Mantas Kalnietis could stand out as one of the tournament's biggest playmakers, per Bleacher Report's Adam Fromal:
Kalnietis is the steady presence at point guard who is capable of generating more assists than anyone else in the field. He's a creative playmaker who sees action develop sooner than most, and he's never afraid to squeeze the ball into tight spaces.
If you're curious about Oklahoma City Thunder rookie Domantas Sabonis, you've got another reason to watch.
A piece of advice: If you decide to tune in only briefly, at least stick around until you catch a glimpse of the Lithuanian fans. They're a cross between a Grateful Dead concert and a deliriously enthused pack of Cameron Crazies.
They bring it.
This Is Getting Fun
Croatia
Frankly, 90 percent of Croatia's presence in this spot has to do with the dead-set certainty Mario Hezonja will do a half-dozen irrationally confident things. It's his whole deal.
Let us never forget the Orlando Magic wing's nutmeg-to-windmill as a member of FC Barcelona:
In addition to Hezonja, eager Philadelphia 76ers fans will want to see Dario Saric, who'll finally debut in the NBA next season. With Bojan Bogdanovic operating as Croatia's first option, there's a chance we might see an eruption from either Hezonja or Saric against opponents without more than one elite defender.
Croatia beat France in a July 31 tuneup at the Four Nations tournament in Cordoba, Argentina, so there's upset potential in this bunch. That, along with NBA relevance and promising youth, make this team highly watchable.
Argentina
There's no way a team with Manu Ginobili and a historically tricky, pass-happy style could rank lower than this, even if Argentina is in a strange state of limbo in which its up-and-comers aren't ready, and its Golden Generation vets are aging out.
There will be flashes of beautiful basketball, Luis Scola will sneak around and materialize in the right spots and Ginobili will whip a few sidearm bullets through traffic.
If for no other reason, watch this team to appreciate its fading stars one last time before they fizzle out.
Serbia
Nikola Jokic.
Nikola. Jokic.
Nikola! Jokic!
Australia
Remember all that sentimental stuff about Argentina? Australia didn't care about any of it when it fought back from an early deficit to beat Ginobili and Co. in a July 27 exhibition, and that's kind of the appeal of this gutsy team.
No worries; friendships remained intact.
The Boomers are stacked, play with a notoriously chippy edge (Matthew Dellavedova is on the roster, after all) and might just collectively hustle their way to the nation's first Olympic basketball medal.
"[He] has that Aussie tenacity," Philadelphia 76ers coach Brett Brown, who coached professionally in Australia from 1988-2002, said about Patty Mills (via Nick Moyle of the San Antonio Express News). "He went from a towel-swinger, and now he’s on the floor and people wave that towel for him. It’s part of the country’s culture, where they play for each other."
Brown could have been talking about virtually anyone on Australia's roster, which includes Andrew Bogut, Aron Baynes and Joe Ingles in addition to Mills and Dellavedova. Imagine if Ben Simmons and Dante Exum were playing...
Appointment Viewing
Spain
Is Ricky Rubio flinging passes to Pau Gasol, Jose Calderon, Sergio Llull, Rudy Fernandez, Nikola Mirotic and Sergio Rodriguez something you might be interested in?
Of course it is.
Despite the absence of Marc Gasol and Serge Ibaka, Spain still features more names NBA fans would recognize than any other non-U.S. team. We didn't even mention Alex Abrines (Thunder) or Willy Hernangomez (New York Knicks) in the list of widely known talents above.
If none of that sways you, at least watch every second of Spain's games to see their A-plus celebration faces, led by Gasol.
If he mugged like that in 2015 Eurobasket, imagine the contortions we might see in a potential gold-medal game in Rio.
France
This two-year-old Instagram post from Boris Diaw's account isn't screen-printed on France's jerseys, but it should be.
You can relax like this when you've got Rudy Gobert's endless tentacles protecting the rim, Nicolas Batum locking down wings and Tony Parker sneaking into space in the lane.
France is effectively an NBA team—one with real skill and flair. Diaw is among the best ball-handling and passing bigs we've ever seen, and Gobert's defensive presence should provide the blocks and turnovers necessary for some free-flowing transition counter-attacks.
Much depends on how much burst Parker has left. Without him, it's hard to see France putting up a fight against serious competition like Spain or, of course, Team USA. And a team can only be so watchable if it can't compete with the top competition.
If the San Antonio Spurs veteran is fit, France will be one of the biggest threats to meet the U.S. in the final.
And it'll look good doing it.
Watch It All
USA
Because obviously.
The only cautionary note here is that you might want to build one of those pinhole box projectors people use to look at solar eclipses without staring directly at the sun. This team will be blindingly fun to watch.
Forget whatever talk there is about the guys not joining Team USA in Rio—LeBron James, Stephen Curry, Russell Westbrook, etc.—and focus instead on the scorching array of talent on hand.
You've got Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, Klay Thompson, DeMarcus Cousins, Carmelo Anthony and a roster laden with All-Stars and household names. Better still, you've got a team that could (fingers crossed) unleash a devastating hybrid lineup without point guards or centers, a five-wing unit with Draymond Green at center and a quartet of do-it-all weapons around him.
"No weaknesses," Durant said, per Marc Berman of the New York Post. "We got the best point guards in the world who can score and pass [Kyrie Irving, Kyle Lowry]. We got shooters everywhere. We got athletic bigs who can turn on the box and score at the rim. We got long, athletic wings and that can get up and down the floor and be athletes. And we have the best coach."
Defensively, Team USA is a monster. Rangy, quick and loaded with switchable pieces, its potential is predatory.
Cousins will Hulk smash everyone underneath, Irving will put all opposing point guards on skates and Durant will do whatever he wants.
Miss any of it and you'll be sorry.
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