Have you hugged Roger Goodell lately?
If so, was it a full-on embrace? A dap-and-pat? Did you pick up him up off the ground like a toy and realign his lumbar region?
Hugging the NFL commissioner is a personal thing draftees do in a moment of intense emotion, and while it seems almost involuntary at the time, Joe Horn wants rookies to remember who they're grabbing hold of when they take their first steps into the realm of professional football.
Speaking in an interview with TheFootballGirl.com (h/t the Times-Picayune's Larry Holder), the former New Orleans Saints wide receiver described Goodell as "the devil" while waxing on the current state of the league:
I don't like what Roger Goodell is doing. He has so much power that he can almost shut people down. I just don't like him. And I don't like that on draft day these kids don't know that they're hugging the devil. I hate to see kids that are lost and then happy but they really don't know that the man they're hugging will rip their throat apart.
If he has an opportunity to take money from them, or there's a situation where they're guilty before they go to court, he'll rip them apart. And there's nothing no one can do about it. If the owners are happy with Roger Goodell, the fans, the media, no one can take his job from him. I hate it.
As a former wide receiver with a penchant for creative celebrations, Horn has little reason to love any NFL commissioner. The league fined him $30,000 after he used a cellphone as a celebratory prop during a 2003 game against the New York Giants. Experts maintain to this day that it was awesome and funny and wholly unworthy of a fine:
Horn spoke about the celebration in the interview. He said he actually used the phone to make a call to his son.
"I called my son, Jaycee," Horn said. "It was a Sunday night game against the Giants, but my kids had to go to school Monday and of course I usually don't get home until 12 or 1 in the morning. So they couldn't go. And my son, who was like six at the time, was crying as I walked out the door. I said, 'I'll call you.'"
Joe Horn, everyone: celebrator, Goodell hater and great dad.
Dan is on Twitter. Foosball is the devil's game.