Welcome to world football's Monday Morning Hangover, an homage to the NFL section's own Monday Morning Hangover, in which we round up the key stories and important points from the latest weekend in world football.
With an inevitable (almost exclusive) focus on the Premier League, let's get started.
Newcastle Shut Door on Difficult Chapter
The day started with a statement: Ostensibly a statement of intent, but perhaps also one of apology.
Previously one of the most reclusive yet controversial men in football, Newcastle United owner Mike Ashley chose Sunday afternoon, the final weekend of the Premier League season, to break his silence, giving an interview to Sky Sports about his hopes for the club.
With Newcastle just 90 minutes away from a potential relegation, the fanbase divided and the playing squad hopelessly directed by a staff seemingly not qualified for the job, if it all felt a little too late, then that is because it probably was.
Even so, just to hear Ashley speak was encouraging. His vision for a future—one in which Newcastle spend in the transfer market and compete to win the cup competitions—seemed to also be a veiled acknowledgement of the failings of the recent past.
Speaking to Sky Sports, Ashley said:
I will continue the policy of investing in the football club. We’ve got the club on a very sound financial footing. So we are able to spend, and punch above our weight.
Now it’s to win something—and by the way, I won't be selling it until I do. Not at any price. And when I say win something, if we ever get in a position where we get a Champions League place, that also qualifies as winning something.
From this day forward, we will definitely be making our own luck. To be categorically clear, I'm not going anywhere until we win something.
No one will ever know for sure what effect Ashley's public words had on ensuing events, but the owner went on to sit there in the stands and, after a nervy first 45 minutes, watch a team suddenly united in its ambition cheered on by a stadium suddenly united in its support. It was a rare sight after a season riddled with accusations and recriminations from all parties, and one that came at just the right time to save the club from further disaster.
The decisive goals, when they arrived, came from fitting sources. Moussa Sissoko, by far and away the club's best player at present, powered in the all-important first goal with a towering header shortly after half-time, duly whipping off his shirt in celebration as St James' Park exploded into life. Then, it was the turn of Jonas Gutierrez, the long-serving Argentinian cutting in from the left before driving home a low shot that deflected into the far corner.
With the score at 2-0 with not long left, it surely meant certain victory—and certain survival.
It was fitting that it was Jonas who sealed the club's survival, a man who has already overcome one personal battle this season.
Diagnosed with testicular cancer last season, it was widely reported, such as by Jason Mellor of the Daily Star, that the club, under former manager Alan Pardew, attempted to wash its hands of the seriously ill Argentinian, who was no longer considered a viable member of the first-team squad even before his diagnosis.
Gutierrez returned to his homeland for treatment and, after being given the all clear, returned to Tyneside to see out his contract, with the club now being managed by John Carver.
Initially, his reintegration seemed more sentimental, even apologetic, than anything else—an emotional first return as a substitute against Manchester United was overshadowed somewhat by a clear mistake that led to the Magpies' defeat—but over time, and as the club's situation worsened, his rapport with the fans and passion for the cause grew to become one of the few elements in the club's favour.
Played out of position along with many others in May 16's wasteful loss to Queens Park Rangers, Carver finally got his team selection right and put most of his players in their preferred positions on the final day. Running up and down the left flank all afternoon, perhaps there was no one bar Alan Shearer the Geordie faithful would rather have saved them.
"To be honest, a few months ago, I didn’t know if could be here again. I am here," Gutierrez said, per the Daily Express. "I am enjoying playing football and happy to be given a second chance in my life.
"The fans don’t deserve to be in this [position]. We have to look forward and we need to look for top 10 and not look toward the bottom.”
Newcastle's unrefined joy was to Hull City's devastation, of course. The victory meant the Tigers were relegated regardless of their result against Manchester United. In the end they drew, a 0-0 that could have gone another way but for the linesman's flag and a couple of good saves from United goalkeeper Victor Valdes.
It was always unlikely Hull would stage a great escape, however, and they now have to plan to escape the Championship with an owner who still wants to change the club's name, a manager who might leave and a playing squad that, after two seasons in the top flight, is perhaps not as prepared for the differing challenges of the second tier as it would have been 12 months ago.
It will be a difficult—though not insurmountable—climb back.
Those are all concerns with which Newcastle will now not worry themselves. The talking point before the game, Ashley once again takes centre stage this summer. Will he deliver on his pledges, or were they simply empty words to mobilise his team on the day they needed to preserve the value of his investment?
We will soon find out, as they remain a club in need of a new manager and an injection of new talent.
Gutierrez is unlikely to be part of that future; memories of how the club treated him could lead him to seek his future elsewhere. He leaves Tyneside a hero, a man intrinsically linked with one of the most dramatic moments in the club's history.
Newcastle fans will not soon forget Sunday's sweet relief. For that pay-off, it almost made the depressing nine months that preceded it worthwhile. Almost.
Sunday's Premier League Results
Arsenal 4-1 West Bromwich Albion
Aston Villa 0-1 Burnley
Chelsea 3-1 Sunderland
Crystal Palace 1-0 Swansea City
Everton 0-1 Tottenham Hotspur
Hull City 0-0 Manchester United
Leicester City 5-1 Queens Park Rangers
Manchester City 2-0 Southampton
Newcastle United 2-0 West Ham United
Stoke City 6-1 Liverpool
(Hull City were relegated from the Premier League)
Managerial Merry-Go-Round
It hardly screamed of class, but at least it was decisive. A few minutes after West Ham United had played the dutiful fall guys in Newcastle's survival, the club announced on its official website that it would be parting ways with manager Sam Allardyce.
There were surely better ways of going about the announcement, even if it successfully avoided any unnecessary speculation—and from the board's point of view, any chance of Allardyce pre-empting the announcement. The Hammers' finish to the season—they were ultimately beaten in the table by Crystal Palace, who were in the bottom three around the time the Hammers were said to be in the Champions League hunt—was disastrous and cause enough to part ways with Allardyce.
With a sizeable transfer budget and a move to the Olympic Stadium on the horizon, West Ham are surely an enticing managerial prospect for any coach—and the club's owners do not lack for ambition, either, considering Rafa Benitez (seemingly heading for Real Madrid) and Carlo Ancelotti (almost certainly leaving Real Madrid) are two individuals they are reportedly targetting, claim Jeremy Wilson and John Percy of the Telegraph.
The club may have a reputation of being slightly dour, perhaps slightly antiquated in some ways, but that is perhaps a by-product of Allardyce's management. With a bright young manager, ex-player Slaven Bilic has also been touted for the role, per Reuters (h/t the Guardian), and a squad overhaul, they may quickly be able to change that.
It will be interesting to see if the post entices Brendan Rodgers should Liverpool decide to part ways with their manager following their end-of-season evaluation.
Sunday's 6-1 defeat at Stoke City was hardly a ringing endorsement of the manager by his players. Such meaningless end-of-season games tend to tell us more about what squads really think of their managers and how much they want to play for them, especially considering champions Chelsea came from 1-0 down to beat Sunderland 3-1 elsewhere on the day.
Rodgers had a lot of issues to contend with during the campaign, but nevertheless, a distant sixth-place finish is not what will have been anticipated in the Anfield boardroom. The club might benefit from Steven Gerrard's departure, as it will allow other players to assume more responsibility within the squad, but it remains clear that significant reinvestment is required.
Last season, that went horribly, with the players brought in not performing consistently well over the course of the campaign. It all ended so differently from last season, when the club nearly won the title on the back of the brilliance of Luis Suarez and attacking tactics of the manager.
Perhaps that is what it comes down to for the board: Was this season the blip, or was last season the anomaly? Rodgers' future perhaps depends on that evaluation, but either way, he will not struggle to get another job somewhere in the Premier League.
"I've always said that if the owners want me to go, then I go. It's as simple as that," Rodgers said, per the Liverpool Echo. “But I still feel I've got a lot to offer the club. A lot has happened this year which has made the job difficult, but I totally understand that.
“Last season, when things were working well, we had the support of everyone, but performances like today do not help that, and I fully understand that."
Random Asides
Chelsea finally got to lift the Premier League trophy on Sunday after receiving their third guard of honour—this time from Sunderland. The early substitution of Didier Drogba was a bit weird, albeit apparently planned—and run by Sunderland ahead of kick-off, but the whole afternoon felt like a long celebration with an exhibition match in the middle. And why not? Chelsea were far and away the best team in the league this season, setting a bar their rivals will now have to match next term. They deserve all the credit and all the celebrations they are doubtless enjoying.
Crystal Palace's win over Swansea City, coupled with West Ham's defeat at Newcastle, saw the Eagles finish in the top 10 in the final standings, meaning Alan Pardew became the first manager to lead a team from the relegation zone at the start of the calendar year into the top half by the end of the campaign. Having improved on last season's finishing position and points tally, it will be interesting to see what Palace can go on to achieve with a little managerial stability over the next few seasons.
Congratulations to Joe Hart on claiming the Premier League's Golden Glove award thanks to a clean sheet—his 14th of the season—in Manchester City's victory over Southampton. It was Hart's fourth such award, a record-winning tally, but the man himself would no doubt admit he would far rather City have won the title than end the season this way.
Interesting to see both Charlie Austin and Danny Ings score on the final Premier League weekend, albeit in markedly different situations. Ings, whose departure from Burnley is already an accepted fact, scored the club's winner against Aston Villa, while Austin, whose future remains in real doubt, got QPR's consolation goal in an embarrassing 5-1 hammering against Leicester City. Both players are involved with England this summer—Austin in the senior squad, Ings with the under-21s—and they will surely need to remain in the Premier League to build on that next season. It will be interesting to see where both men end up landing. Goalscorers tend not to be short of offers.
Another player almost certainly on the move is Petr Cech, who seemed to wave something of a farewell to Stamford Bridge during Sunday's title celebrations. A brilliant goalkeeper throughout his time at the west London club, it is a measure of not only Thibaut Courtois's potential but his excellence that the club are now willing to let Cech go. At 32, Cech might only just be entering his prime. If Chelsea let him go elsewhere in the Premier League this summer, he will not be short of suitors. He would certainly improve Arsenal considerably.
Good Week, Bad Week
Good Week
Jonas Gutierrez: The hero of the hour, and a very popular one at that
Sergio Aguero: Ended up running away with the Golden Boot award.
Mark Hughes: A satisfying end to a a quietly impressive season.
Theo Walcott: A hat-trick to remind his manager—and any suitors—of what he can occasionally do.
Bad Week
Steve Bruce: Was always fighting an uphill battle, but that will not make the pain this morning any less acute.
Marouane Fellaini: What exactly was he thinking when he stamped on Paul McShane? He will now miss the first three games of next season.
Steven Gerrard: A 6-1 defeat is not the way he will have wanted to go out.
Chris Ramsey: What a way to celebrate getting the manager's job on a permanent basis!
From Twitter with Love
Good Season, Bad Season
Good Season
Jose Mourinho: Simply the best—once again.
Harry Kane: Remember the name.
Alan Pardew: Neil Warnock and John Carver made him look very good.
Eden Hazard: Pure class from start to finish.
Bad Sason
Brendan Rodgers: It went wrong, then it went right, then it went horribly wrong. Will he get another go?
Tony Fernandes: Probably time to rethink how he runs his club after another embarrassing campaign.
Daniel Sturridge: A season lost to injuries, something no professional wants.
Manchester City: A disappointingly toothless defence of their Premier League crown when all is said and done.
Monday Afternoon Football
Middlesbrough vs. Norwich City
The Premier League season is over, but next season's lineup of teams is still to be finalised. One space remains, with Middlesbrough and Norwich City battling it out at Wembley on Monday to decide which of them will gain that lucrative golden ticket.
Both teams looked impressive in their semi-final victories, suggesting either would be fine additions to the top flight—Middlesbrough in particular have an intriguing array of attacking talent that it would be fascinating to see try and adapt to the additional rigours of the Premier League. Defensively, Norwich might have the advantage, although as always in such games, it might be small margins that end up being decisive.
After the drama of Sunday's relegation battle, another tense 90 minutes are in store. For neutrals, however, it promises to be just the sort of occasion that affirms why we love football.