Riffs, rants, observations and dissenting opinions from the voices in my head: Here's a warped and dented take on this weekend's games, with "season reviews" for the meaningless games in which both teams are eliminated from the playoffs. I know it's cheesy, but given the choice between extra Christmas activities with young children or previewing a Saints-Buccaneers game, which would you choose?
Note: All times listed are Eastern, lines are via Odds Shark and game capsules are listed in the order you should read them.
Panthers at Falcons
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
Line: Falcons -3.5
NFC Southlandia is pro football's hippest division. Its teams have rejected western civilization's hierarchical, parochial models of success, with all of the winning and standings and overemphasis on achievement.
NFC Southlandia is a lifestyle, man. It's an aesthetic. It's the crackle and hiss of a vinyl record on a turntable, the locally grown-only menu that won't serve a vegetable out of season, the drafty old barn converted into a studio for craft silversmiths. The Falcons and Panthers aren't playing for a championship; they are playing for self-fulfillment. Man.
The Falcons are on the fringe of NFC Southlandia culture, meaning that they are close to the mainstream of regular football culture. They are undefeated in the division, making them the oddballs when Southlandia teams meet for the cooperative-sharing sessions that the NFL insists on classifying as "games." The other teams are always trying to grow and self-actualize, but Atlanta insists on trying to win. You don't win hacky sack, man. You don't win a drum circle. Why can't you just play?
The Falcons are also building a $1.4 billion stadium, which is decidedly un-hipster. Yes, it's in a downtown neighborhood, and it will have a retractable roof that resembles spread wings when open—they literally put a bird on it—but a true Southlandia team would have converted an old warehouse. Furthermore, Matt Ryan may be the squarest cat this side of Pat Boone.
The Panthers are much more in tune with the Southlandia lifestyle.
Sure, Cam Newton drives (drove) a jacked-up domestic truck, but you can tell he was only doing so ironically. Rest assured that he has switched to a recumbent bicycle since the accident. Now that old friends Jonathan Stewart and Mike Tolbert have rejoined Newton on accordion and upright bass, the Panthers' Old-Timey Bluegrass Backfield can stumble toward grungy, artisanal, do-it-yourself victories.
If Carolina wins NFC Southlandia, it will be like the coolest indie band on college radio signing to a major label. The Panthers promise not to compromise their principles, but they know longtime fans will call them sellouts.
Winning may change the Falcons or Panthers, transforming them into grasping, acquisitive go-getters hungry for even more victories and the probably unattainable goal of the Super Bowl. We all move out of Williamsburg or Portland sometime, get corporate jobs and pursue the American 2.5-kids-and-an-ulcer dream, despite ourselves.
The Southlandia winner will find that it doesn't really fit in either hipster world or the real world. But it had better find itself fast: Company arrives next week.
Prediction: Panthers 24, Falcons 23
Bengals at Steelers
Sunday, 8:30 p.m.
Line: Steelers -3.5
The Bengals thought they were safe Sunday. The Steelers clinched a playoff berth with a win over the Chiefs. The Bengals had not yet clinched their own playoff berth, but losses by the Ravens, Dolphins and other teams simplified the AFC picture to the point that Cincinnati was practically a shoo-in.
The NFL was on the prowl for a game to flex into prime time, and the league prefers "win and you're in" scenarios to "subtle tiebreakers and seedings are at stake" games when trying to coax fans into staying up late on the Sunday before New Year's Eve. Surely Panthers-Falcons would provide both the curiosity value and star power; even media-market size and regionalism would not be an issue when Bengals-Steelers and Chargers-Chiefs were the only alternatives.
But the NFL flexed the Steelers and Bengals into prime time. League broadcasting director Howard Katz told Peter King of Monday Morning Quarterback that the league had just swiped too many Week 17 games from Fox to give to NBC in recent years. It was CBS' turn to pony up. It's not clear if the league would have been quite so magnanimous if Cowboys-Redskins mattered, but the point was irrelevant.
For the Bengals to guarantee their playoff berth, they needed to win back-to-back nationally televised night games. You might as well have asked them to put on skates and win a Winter Classic as well.
Andy Dalton responded to the news predictably, vomiting a pick-six to Broncos cornerback Aqib Talib to start the Monday-nighter. But then something strange happened. The Bengals finally adjusted to night football, like third-shift workers who suddenly notice they are no longer yawning at 3:30 in the morning. What's more, they overcame their success phobia and played a complete, physical, mostly brilliant game to beat the Broncos.
Cincinnati actually elevated its game. That may have happened in the past, but not in games that most people watched.
The Steelers should now be the ones who feel unsafe. The Bengals will know by kickoff if they have a chance at a first-round bye, though that will take a Raiders miracle. Even if the Broncos win, the Bengals can lock up a home playoff game against some Chiefs-Chargers-Ravens-Texans middleweight instead of (probably) coping with a second straight trip to Pittsburgh with a loss.
In the past, stakes like those, coupled with darkened skies, would curl the Bengals into the fetal position during the pregame stretch. After Monday night's epiphany, all bets are off.
The Steelers ran down the Bengals' throats for a 42-21 win just a few weeks ago, but that game was closer than the final score. Pittsburgh must assume Cincinnati has adjusted. More importantly and surprisingly, the Steelers must also assume the Bengals will show up for a spotlight game well-adjusted.
Pittsburgh will still gut out a win—a rash of midweek illness chopped up an already choppy practice week for Cincinnati—but the playoffs now feature two AFC North teams that are finally ready for prime time.
Prediction: Steelers 34, Bengals 33
Lions at Packers
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
Line: Packers -7.5
More than Matthew Stafford or even Ndamukong Suh, Dominic Raiola has been the heart and soul of the 21st-century Detroit Lions. Raiola played for the Marty Mornhinweg and Steve Mariucci teams. He blocked for Charlie Batch, Joey Harrington, Kevin Jones and James Stewart.
He watched the era of annual wide receiver drafts come and go. He has been on teams that went 0-16, 2-14, 3-13 and 4-12, missing just four games in 12 seasons as the Lions' starting center. Raiola is as much a part of the depressing yet determined Detroit landscape as an abandoned high-rise.
Raiola has also been a reliable barometer of upcoming Lions idiocy. Back in 2007, he responded to Detroit's 5-2 start by calling it "uncharted territory for us," per The Associated Press (via ESPN). It's never a good sign when a veteran anchor reacts to a hot start as if he just sailed a clipper around the Cape of Good Hope, and the Lions hastily collapsed.
Last year's team was 3-1 entering a matchup with the Packers, but Raiola spent pregame warmups insulting the Wisconsin marching band instead of warming up. (One could argue that practicing their trash talk and slurs was an integral part of the Lions' warmup ritual for many years, but that only further illustrates my point.) The Packers won, and the lack of poise and discipline proved to be a bellwether of an impending collapse.
There are other examples, including various roughness fouls and the overtime snap-it-yourself blunder against the Titans in 2012. The pattern is clear: When Raiola reverts to angry, undisciplined, unready-for-success form, Detroit typically follows suit.
Raiola is suspended for the Packers game because of a vintage Lions cheap shot against the Bears (which can be seen here). The Lions looked distressingly like themselves for the entire Bears game: mind-boggling Stafford interceptions, special teams lunacy, acts of thuggery against the opposing quarterback and general self-destructiveness.
Jimmy Clausen nearly beat Detroit, and Jay Cutler probably would have. The Packers will smoke the Lions and relegate them to wild-card status if Detroit doesn't find a way to prove once and for all that this team is different.
Travis Swanson, a well-regarded rookie specifically drafted and groomed as Raiola's eventual replacement, will snap to Stafford on Sunday. It will be hard to replace a long-tenured veteran at a crucial position who has come to define his team's personality, though that may be what the Lions need more than anything else.
Prediction: Packers 23, Lions 20
Chargers at Chiefs
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Even
Chase Daniel gets the start in place of injured Alex Smith for the Chiefs. And you thought last year’s Chargers miracle-playoff scenario was strange.
Daniel, who faced the Chargers in a meaningless-for-the-Chiefs Week 17 game last season, is a short-'n-gritty former Drew Brees understudy with the potential to knock more teams out of the playoffs in two career starts than most quarterbacks do in several starting seasons.
A flat performance on Sunday will knock the Chiefs, Ravens and Texans out of contention by giving the Chargers the final playoff spot. Daniel cannot really be blamed for last year’s overtime 27-24 loss to the Chargers; Ryan Succop missed a 41-yarder in the final seconds of regulation, Daniel threw for a respectable 200 yards and Jamaal Charles was in a bunker surrounded by bodyguards and packing peanuts.
Still, the loss was the final stage of a chain reaction that knocked the Steelers, Ravens and Dolphins out of the playoffs.
The other AFC middleweights may want to chip in and donate a better backup quarterback to the Chiefs. Either that or step up and win a few more games, but if anyone was eager to do that, we would not be facing the same playoff scenarios year after year.
Prediction: Chargers 27, Chiefs 24
Browns at Ravens
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Ravens -14
Nothing screams "Week 17 Game Previews" like an emergency quarterback for Cleveland. We thought the Browns would let us down this year, what with all of the optimism and playoff hopefulness of a few weeks ago. But they are all about tradition, and both Johnny Manziel and Brian Hoyer got injured on cue last week.
So from the team that brought you Thad Lewis, Spergon Wynn, Bruce Gradkowski and many other Week 17 desperation quarterbacks, now comes Connor Shaw, a tough-guy Steve Spurrier disciple who threw 24 touchdowns and just one interception in his senior season.
I am reluctant to poke too much fun at Shaw, who has a massive Gamecocks fanbase. He's like a mini-Manziel, except most of his supporters have a huge chip on their shoulder because they think the entire scouting community snubbed Shaw on purpose. Because you get really far in the scouting world by ignoring South Carolina games, folks.
Shaw also has supporters among the many fans in each region who automatically adopt the "other" rookie quarterback over the first-round pick and proclaim as loudly as possible that the spunky underdog is secretly better but held back by ownership's insistence on protecting its investment. In Washington, these fans become head coaches.
Shaw is one of those collegiate quarterbacks who scores about a C or C+ in most scouting categories: size, arm, running ability, pro-level accuracy and so on. That makes him a Lewis or a Gradkowski who just happened to play for a much larger (football) program. With that, I will now ignore my inbox for the rest of the weekend.
The Ravens just lost to Case Keenum, and looking past another emergency quarterback would eliminate them from the playoffs. The Texans' familiarity with Gary Kubiak's offense also appeared to be an issue last week and could be a problem this week: Kubiak and Browns offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan used to sleep in bunk beds and tell each other zone-stretch ghost stories.
The Ravens are back at home and may have gotten most of the ugly out of their system last week, but Baltimore always has a little leftover ugly, and the Browns never travel during the holiday season without their own supply.
Prediction: Ravens 31, Browns 17
Jaguars at Texans
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Texans -10.5
The Texans can make the playoffs with a win and losses by the Ravens and Chargers. Beating the Jaguars should be pretty easy, and the Chiefs have about a 50-50 shot against the Chargers. However, the Browns will be starting third-stringer Connor Shaw in Baltimore against a Ravens team with a long history of making the playoffs despite the fact that their offense looks like an environmental catastrophe.
So if J.J. Watt really wants the MVP award, he should fly to Baltimore and play for the Browns this week. Even with Case Keenum at the helm, the Texans should be able to beat the Jaguars without Watt.
Watt had a sack, three tackles for a loss and four hits on Joe Flacco last week. He could be the difference-maker for a Browns defense that already has a fine pass rush but may need to do everything by itself. Once Watt helps Cleveland beat the Ravens, he can return to Houston and prepare for both a likely postseason appearance and a runaway MVP vote.
Blake Bortles wholeheartedly approves of this plan.
Prediction: Texans 28, Jaguars 16
Cowboys at Redskins
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Cowboys -5
Boy, Tony Romo looks like a whole different quarterback this year, doesn't he?
He sure does. He has thrown 32 touchdowns and eight interceptions this year. There is no way to compare those numbers to the 31 touchdowns and 10 interceptions he threw last year, or the 31 touchdowns and 10 interceptions he threw in 2011.
C'mon, man, stop being sarcastic. You have to admit that his statistics are much better this year.
They are better: a higher completion rate, higher touchdown rate, more yards per attempt. But the difference is quantitative, not qualitative. They are still recognizably Romo stats, and an improved offensive line and supporting cast easily explains the difference.
But he's not choking, man!
If Romo threw three touchdowns last year, he might still lose 31-30 or 45-28, even if he didn't throw an interception. If he threw five touchdowns, he might still need a fourth-quarter drive to win, and one interception in a 51-48 loss to the Broncos would be his "choke."
This year, if he throws three or four touchdowns, the defense is good enough to keep 41-28 or 38-27 wins out of reach. Romo's improvement is about 96 percent an illusion caused by an improved Cowboys team and the false perceptions from the past.
Whatever. You have always been a Romo lover. Boy, Robert Griffin looked like a different quarterback last week, didn't he?
Not really. His game tape looked slightly better, but he basically threw two bombs. His performance was not that much different than it was in the Vikings or Buccaneers games, or what he did most of last season. The Redskins won because the Eagles gave them good field position after missed field goals and committed two costly turnovers. It's just another quarterback illusion.
You take all the fun out of everything.
Prediction: Cowboys 28, Redskins 19
Rams at Seahawks
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
Line: Seahawks -13.5
"Game manager" is a compliment in the same way that "amateur" is a compliment.
Most people use "amateur" as an insult. Your picks stink and ur jokes aren't funny u r such an amateur. The word is actually derived from the French word for "lover" (as in amore) and originally meant someone who does something because they have a passion for it.
Many of my football-writing friends and coworkers began as teachers or middle managers who composed long essays about kickers and offensive strategies for free in their spare time because they loved football and wanted desperately to be part of the conversation. So we wear the "amateur" badge proudly, as do millions of indie rockers, craft-brewers, YouTube comedians and home-kitchen gourmets around the world. We love what we do, and that makes us pretty darned good at it.
"Game manager," when used improperly, means a quarterback who stands around and waits for his running game or defense to bail him out. It started as a polite euphemism for quarterbacks who throw for 123 yards in a series of 20-17 victories: He doesn't complete many passes and needed two defensive touchdowns to win, but he did well as a game manager.
A real game manager has a battery of skills that give his team the best chance to win games. Game managers throw the football away when there is danger of getting sacked for a big loss. They check down on 3rd-and-22 to get the ball in field-goal range when winning, yet they uncork a 23-yard gamble when trailing.
They spot and exploit obvious weaknesses. They distribute the ball early in the game so receivers feel involved and ready for touches if needed late in the proceedings. They audible. They command the huddle and communicate with coaches and teammates.
Some great game managers also throw hundreds of career touchdown passes: Tom Brady is an outstanding game manager, and he does pretty well on the stat sheet. Some great game managers reach the Hall of Fame: Bart Starr, Bob Griese, Troy Aikman.
Joe Montana was essentially the greatest game manager ever, redefining the way football is played by reading defenses, delivering short passes and putting his teammates and system into position to do the hardest work for him.
This is a long way of saying that calling Russell Wilson a "game manager" is not an insult, and Seahawks fans should stop howling at the very sound of the words. Wilson is being placed in the Aikman/Starr/early-Brady class, not some Mike Tomczak-Trent Dilfer basement.
"Game manager" is a convenient way of pointing out that there is more to Wilson's game than options, scrambles, the occasional sneaky bomb and defensive rescues. He is using the resources at his disposal as wisely as possible, like a great leader in any field must. It's praise, not criticism.
On the other hand, if Seahawks fans hear Wilson referred to as an "athlete playing quarterback," they should go as nuts as they like.
Prediction: Seahawks 26, Rams 19
Cardinals at 49ers
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
Line: 49ers -7
Logan Thomas initially got the starting nod for the Cardinals, but Bruce Arians promised to have "a quick hook" in his search for a quarterback who can do what a successful team needs to do in the postseason, like score at least one touchdown.
One bad practice session dropped Thomas behind Ryan Lindley on the depth chart again, so Arians was not lying. Thomas is a bright, likable young man who looks like he was sculpted from countertop granite and moves like a decathlete.
He's the greatest quarterback prospect you have ever seen until the moment the ball leaves his hand and sails nine feet over the tight end's outstretched reach. Arians is not facing a multiple-choice test as the playoffs near, but a zero-choice test.
Arians' system, which worked so well throughout the season, looks particularly ill-designed to milk production out of third- and fourth-stringers. The Cardinals get nothing from their end-around game: Receivers have combined for two yards on seven carries. There are no option wrinkles, at least none that Arians has unveiled over the last two seasons.
It doesn't help that Arians' two attempts to import power rushers from Pittsburgh resulted in one retirement and one suspension, while Andre Ellington's hernia robbed the team of the one running back who could produce big plays in the draw-and-screen game. The Cardinals offense asks a lot of the quarterback as a pure passer, which is a problem when you run out of quarterbacks who can pass.
Of course, if Arians has any Ted Ginn Jr. option passes (Ginn did throw one for 10 yards) or Patrick Peterson Wildcats up his sleeve, he should save them for the playoffs. (Even if Drew Stanton does return, he will return as Drew Stanton.)
The whole football world will be watching the Cardinals-49ers game on Sunday. Granted, we will be watching to see if Jim Harbaugh pops a blood vessel, drops his khakis and moons the 49ers owner's box with a Michigan helmet tattooed on each cheek. But we will occasionally notice the playoff-bound Cardinals as well, so Arians should save his emergency game plan for January's absolute emergencies.
Prediction: 49ers 19, Cardinals 9
Colts at Titans
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Colts -7.5
If Sunday and Monday did not shake the Colts out of their complacency, nothing will. The Cowboys flattened them Sunday, then the Bengals used the newly paved path to upset the Broncos and cruise past Indianapolis toward a possible first-round bye.
The Colts are now guaranteed to host a first-round playoff game—the Broncos and Bengals are now vying for that coveted second seeding—and their opponent will be someone nasty: either the Steelers team that whooped them in late October or the revitalized Bengals. Like so many other AFC teams, the Colts are trapped in late adolescence. The Cowboys just made their endless awkward phase even more awkward.
Chuck Pagano is philosophically opposed to resting starters, and Indianapolis needs a tune-up much more than it needs a breather. Most of the starters got the fourth quarter of the Cowboys game off, anyway.
Look for the Colts to roll all over one last divisional opponent in an effort to regain some momentum and feel good about themselves. Stomping on AFC South daisies is no longer the thing the Colts do best; it has become the only thing they really do well.
Prediction: Colts 27, Titans 10
Bills at Patriots
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Patriots -5.5
Well, here we are again. The Patriots have clinched home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, taking care of their own business (if a little sloppily) while their divisional and conference foes fell in their familiar domino pattern.
As usual, the Patriots are kvetching loudly about their recent slow offensive starts and tougher-than-they-should-be wins over ornery divisional rivals. The other AFC contenders would listen if they weren't still shuddering from the shock of a prime-time Bengals upset or trying to figure out where the Cowboys buried their dignity.
This season has followed a predictable rhythm: We criticize the Patriots early in the year (when they look vulnerable), they criticize themselves late in the season (when they look unstoppable) and everyone takes a week off around New Year's.
This has been the most successful Bills season since 2004, and it could become just their second winning campaign since 1999. With new ownership at the helm, the possibility for an aggressive push will make this an intriguing offseason.
Might the Bills pursue Jay Cutler? RG3? Jim Harbaugh? Keep in mind that Buffalo is often aggressive in the offseason: The Sammy Watkins draft-day trade was quite a splash, and Ralph Wilson broke the bank for Mario Williams a few years ago. The Bills don't need to make splashes; they need to build carefully on the defensive and skill-position scaffolding they laid in recent years.
Someone in the AFC East must force the Patriots to do more than walk around saying "Does this first-round playoff bye make me look fat?" in late December. It's too late for the Bills to do that to the Jimmy Garoppolo gang on Sunday, but we now know that the team is staying in Buffalo for good and will be doing business a little differently, so maybe there really will be a next year.
Prediction: Bills 24, Patriots 17
Raiders at Broncos
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
Line: Broncos -14.5
The Bengals crossed the Seahawks' defensive game plan from the Super Bowl with a typical Patriots offensive game plan on Monday to create the ultimate hybrid Denver Broncos killing machine.
Veteran Bengals defenders listened to Peyton Manning's audibles and made adjustments to the adjustments, just like the Seahawks did last February. The tactic did not work quite as well for the Bengals, but it did not have to: They just needed to stuff enough screens and handoffs to force Manning into mistakes—not engineer a historic blowout.
While his defense played like off-brand Seahawks, Andy Dalton was a thrift-shop Tom Brady, dinking and dunking down the field while Jeremy Hill counterpunched the frustrated Broncos defense.
The Monday loss showed that Denver is more vulnerable to a good team with a great plan than to an opponent that thinks it can win with a magic bullet. (A shootout! More blitzing! Cold weather will save us!) The Broncos cannot be beaten by gimmicks, but fundamentally sound football in all three elements of the game can knock them out of the playoffs.
The Raiders lack talent, but they have figured out the fundamentals in recent weeks. They would love nothing more than a chance to knock the Broncos down to the third seed in the playoffs and force them to play an extra game. It won't happen, but the Broncos really wanted to make this game irrelevant. Instead, they have a lot to prove against a rival with nothing to lose.
This kind of thing never happens to the Patriots.
Prediction: Broncos 40, Raiders 20
Jets at Dolphins
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Dolphins -7
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Dolphins:
Team MVP: Branden Albert: The Dolphins were a 5-3 team with a stable line and convincing wins over the Patriots and Chargers on their resume before Albert got hurt.
Defensive MVPs: Brent Grimes and Cameron Wake.
Rookie of the Year: Jarvis Landry. Just please stop pretending he is a return man.
High Point: The 37-0 Chargers victory that capped a three-game winning streak.
Low Point: The collapse of the Dolphins' mighty front seven, which started when Broncos running back C.J. Anderson started running down their throats late in the Week 12 loss.
Top Offseason Priority: Find an identity. Ugh...it's sportswriter logic! But really, what has been the Dolphins' philosophy for the last six years?
The Seahawks are a defense-and-power team. The Eagles do the no-huddle thing. The Cowboys, never known for their managerial foresight, built a great offensive line. The Lions have a great front four.
The Dolphins always seem satisfied to assemble 22 pretty good starters and see what happens. Moving past .500 will mean building one truly great unit—the defensive line was close this year, but key contributors like Wake are aging fast—and making that the kernel of the team's plans.
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Jets:
Team MVPs: Muhammad Wilkerson and Sheldon Richardson.
Offensive MVP: Nick Mangold. As you will see, the sheer number of linemen winning "Offensive MVP" honors for eliminated teams reveals just what kind of year it has been for the NFL's underclass.
Rookie of the Year: Jace Amaro.
High Point: The Steelers victory revealed the kind of team the Jets thought they would be: nasty run defense and pass rush, lots of speedy, tricky misdirection on offense.
Low Point: Percy Harvin arrives to rescue Jets offense against the Bills; Geno Smith responds with three interceptions in his first eight passes.
Top Offseason Priority: Find a coach with an offensive philosophy that makes sense. Then find a quarterback who fits that philosophy.
The good news is that the Jets organization is more professional than it was two years ago. Rex Ryan will never be remembered as General Discipline, but the team is more cohesive and unified than the Bears and a few other scuffling organizations right now.
Prediction: Dolphins 20, Jets 17
Bears at Vikings
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Vikings -7
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Vikings:
Team MVP: Everson Griffin
Offensive MVP: John Sullivan. No one really stood out on offense for the Vikings, but Sullivan kept everything together on the offensive line.
Rookies of the Year: Anthony Barr, Teddy Bridgewater and Jerick McKinnon in a three-way tie
High Point: A pair of solid wins against the Panthers and Jets, followed by an early 14-0 lead against the Lions. That stretched showed what the Vikings could grow into.
Low Point: Anything involving Adrian Peterson and a courtroom.
Top Offseason Priority: Get Cordarelle Patterson back on track. Two-thirds of the team's first-round picks from 2013 (Shariff Floyd and Xavier Rhodes) are now playing well. Patterson is the kind of blue-chip talent that is hard to come by. Norv Turner needs to work his mental feng shui on the kid so he can become Bridgewater's designated big-play threat. The Vikings are very close to the Wild Card picture and brimming with young talent. They need to use all resources at their disposal to take that next step.
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Bears:
Team MVP: Matt Forte
Defensive MVP: Willie Young
Rookie of the Year: Corey Fuller. The fact that those are the only three Bears players worth singling out at all tells you all you need to know.
High Point: Jay Cutler threw four touchdowns in a victory over the 49ers on September 14th. Try to remember that. Keep trying.
Low Point: We've been living it since mid-October.
Top Offseason Priority: You know how some old buildings have such a mold problem that renovators have to actually rip out the floor boards and studs? It's like that. Maybe hiring an offensive coach for the Bears threw off the earth's magnetic field or something. The Bears may not need to go back to doing what they do best (winning with middle linebackers instead of quarterbacks), but they cannot possibly keep doing what they have done for the last two years.
Prediction: Vikings 27, Bears 14
Eagles at Giants
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Giants -1
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Eagles:
Team MVP: Darren Sproles. Jeremy Maclin had a great comeback season, but Sproles provided two punt return touchdowns, made a major contribution to the passing game and picked up much of the slack as LeSean McCoy bounced from slump to slump.
Defensive MVP: Connor Barwin
Rookie of the Year: Jordan Matthews
High Point: The 33-10 Thanksgiving victory over the Cowboys was the stuff of Philly fan fantasies and made it appear that the Eagles would be hosting playoff games.
Low Point: Mark Sanchez's fourth-quarter interception near midfield in the fourth quarter of a 24-24 game marked the end of a gut-wrenching slide from the middle of the playoff pack to elimination.
Top Offseason Priority: The Eagles need upgrades at cornerback and safety. Chip Kelly must also re-evaluate his decision to entrust his option-spiced no-huddle offense to a series of pocket passers. There were many times this year when Shady, Sproles and the whole Eagles offense could have used the defensive hesitation that the threat of two or three quarterback keepers per game can provide.
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Giants:
Team MVP: Odell Beckham Jr., but you knew that.
Defensive MVP: Jason Pierre-Paul, though it would have been nice if he had unleashed more of his awesomeness before the Giants were eliminated.
Rookie of the Year: Beckham. Since he won MVP, let's give honorable mentions to running back Andre Williams and linebacker Devon Kennard.
High Point: The Giants were 3-2 and really humming on offense after a 30-20 win over the Falcons in October. The Beckham super-catch, remember, came during a losing effort.
Low Point: A 21-3 halftime lead against the Jaguars became a 25-24 nightmare after a series of turnovers, missed field goals, and defensive lapses.
Top Offseason Priority: If the Giants decide to keep Tom Coughlin for one more year, they must still commit to rethinking some of their roster management and strategic philosophies. This Giants season looked too much like the previous one, despite the switch to offensive coordinator Ben McAdoo and an effort to add playmakers. The story of the 2015 Giants season cannot be another year of Eli Manning turnovers, running back injuries, defensive inconsistency and a late streak of wins-for-pride. Beckham can be the focal point of a great offense, but it won't happen if the rest of the Giants keep doing business the same old way.
Prediction: Giants 26, Eagles 24
Saints at Buccaneers
Sunday, 1 p.m.
Line: Saints -4
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Saints:
Team MVP: Drew Brees. Don't expect Brees to make room on his mantle for the "Best Player on a Six-Win Team that Treated Disappointment Like a Life's Vocation" trophy between the Man of the Year and Super Bowl MVP hardware.
Defensive MVP: Junior Galette
Rookie of the Year: Brandin Cooks
High Point: We were all writing "The Saints are Back" headlines after back-to-back Packers and Panthers victories at the end of October.
Low Point: Jimmy Graham getting stripped at the goal line by a Falcons player no one ever heard of last Sunday was a good single-play synopsis of the brilliant stupidity that defined the 2014 Saints.
Top Offseason Priority: The Saints should be planning a last roundup for Drew Brees, just like the Patriots and Broncos did this year for Tom Brady and Peyton Manning. That means spending every available cap dime (there are not many) and using every possible resource to find blue-chippers who can turn weak spots in the secondary and offensive line into strengths. The Saints can do next year what the Patriots have done for years: use a perpetually confused division to springboard their Hall of Fame quarterback to late-career glory. Of course, the Saints should have done that this year, too.
A Game Previews Season Summary for the Buccaneers.
Team MVP: Lavonte David. David may have had the best two-year stretch of any player who receives absolutely no publicity outside of film-and-stat geek circles.
Offensive MVP: Mike Evans
Rookie of the Year: Mike Evans. The good news is that Evans is a fantastic big-play producer. The bad news is that there are no other Buccaneers rookies worth mentioning.
High Point: That 27-24 Steelers victory. The Steelers were both a very good team and a generous supplier of "High Points" to terrible teams this year.
Low Point: The Buccaneers allowed 38 points to the Ravens in one-and-a-half quarters of football. Seeing "Ravens 38, Buccaneers 0" on a score crawl at 2:15 p.m. Eastern Time is the kind of thing that can convince a person that he is hallucinating.
Top Offensive Priority: First, get a quarterback. Marcus Mariota will do. Second, make sure Lovie actually uses the young quarterback, instead of benching him after his second mistake so a broken-down journeyman can take his place and make dozens of mistakes.
Prediction: Saints 33, Buccaneers 17
Mike Tanier covers the NFL for Bleacher Report.