April 26th 2014-
Well, so this is basically what I wrote in my journal, as you might imagine I am still very confused but I believe this was an authentic experience. The name given to me (which I'd never heard of) existed and matched everything I was told:
I don't practice occultism or the Kabalah (I know virtually nothing about them). To be frank I'm not interested and I think most of it is unnecessary. I'd rather work with my own endless internal energy rather than outside forces. I am very much into meditation and energy work. I've had many "supernatural" experiences and I'm 100% confident in my abilities and the existence of the paranormal. Plus, I just like working with energy and seeing where it takes me - and I hate forcing some sort of structure on it. In fact the only "structured" thing that I have is my Witch's circle (I picked this up from a book because I found that it instantly activates my third eye) - which is where the demon appeared in my dreams. After doing research online on the name this demon gave me, I found out he's one of the Qliphoth (something I just found out about after I woke up).
Anyway I was asleep and suddenly I felt myself rising - astral projecting and was in my room. I almost never AP because it's not really a skill I'm very interested in and at the time I really thought I was completely awake because I was very lucid. On my floor, I saw the face of a demon (in blue, shining ink) form and look directly at me. Of course I was initially scared and turned to run but then I thought - screw it, I don't feel any bad energy coming from it: and to be very frank I was extremely curious at this point.
Suddenly I felt the feeling of being "uncomfortable" with where I was standing (that's the best way I can put it)...like there was a more natural position and body posture for me to be standing in and so I just let the energy in the room take me until I settled at exactly the right spot: then the demon started talking.
It sounded like a buzzing in my right ear and was very annoying - like a bee was hovering right next to me, but I could tell it was trying to say something. I shouted that "I can't hear WHAT you're trying to say!" The demon seemed to concentrate and increase its focus tremendously then I started to hear it talking in very plain terms to me. As it would talk, the image on the floor would morph into a different "demonic" creature. It was very fascinating to be quite honest. It kind of made fun of me for being scared initially but I told him that I wasn't really and to be honest I'm not. I know and he told me that he could very easily knock me on my @$$ but that wasn't his intention.
We talked about the struggle for power I was facing, perhaps the most difficult battle in my life that I have ever faced. Very interestingly, when I searched this demon's name, it represented the dark nature, the struggle of the path I wished to undertake. You see, I am an aspiring adept with no masters except myself. I am both my own student and my own guru. While it is very liberating to explore any energetic path that I choose, it is also very, very hard to know what I'm doing right vs wrong. Why does magick/energy works the way it does? I'd like to say it's akin to a blind man trying to find his way from Timbuktu to Rome, but I'd be exaggerating the statistical likelihood of my success. Apart from that, I also struggle with daily, physical and mental setbacks such as recurring alcohol addiction, a struggling business that barely keeps me afloat, doing an academic career based on necessity rather than passion, and sheer laziness at times. The only thing I want in life is to be an Adept (some of you may know what this really means). That is my passion. It's the reason I wake up in the morning and the thing I think about before I sleep. I simply don't want to be anything else or do anything else but energy work. Period. I've been quite stagnant though. I don't want to just move pencils and chi-spinners forever. I want BIG superpowers like Rainturtle and #12 - they are so strong...jesus - cars, tables, being thrown around, remote viewing, massive energy manipulation. #12 in particular is such an advanced adept that it's like he might have fucking hopped out of a comic book.
The demon knew all this, and he told me I could have anything I wanted in life. If I wanted it, I was simply going to get it the old fashioned way - with daily, constant work. He said he would help me and be my friend - lol my best friend, but that I was going to have to do major lifting on my own. He told me if I wished to travel amongst the stars that I could. Anything I wanted money, everything. I honestly don't remember much else, there were a few more personal things as well that I won't include here.
Anyway he disappeared after a while and I felt pretty good about the meeting.
Will I meet him again? Maybe in time, who knows... My question is what did he want from me? Why contact me? Have you heard of such a thing? I'd be lying if I didn't say I am partly terrified and VERY confused. Was this all just a dream that my trickster subconscious weaved to get me deeper into psionics? If that entity is truly real, will he help me or hurt me on my spiritual progress?
Ever since then things have been different with me and psi. I'm practicing for much, much longer sessions (5+ hours/day) and I'm much more obsessed with meditation, etc... and have noticed a BIG spike in my powers. Also my third eye is permanently on and vibrating. But I just want to do the right thing and lead a happy, good life and perhaps even find my way back Home - in God's arms. Hoping anyone with information on this will contact me.