2016-10-26

Last week: Kyle liked Sierra and Sierra didn’t like that Kyle had a daughter; Kelley was bad at flirting and worse at reading people, especially Emily; Kate swooped in over Kelley’s stumbling and put Ben on the case; Ben asked Emily to dinner; there was a sweet proposal amongst the guests; and the deckhands screwed up the handling of the pool equipment and ship’s tender so badly that sea creatures swam in from miles around to watch and laugh mockingly.

It’s the morning after the proposal, the guests are Instagramming the engagement ring, and Kate is still happy that love is in the air. She interviews that Ben has done very well with ladies in the past, but seems adorably nervous about his pending date with Emily.

Captain Lee calls Kelley to the bridge to talk about the clusterdiddle with the pool. He tells Kelley to quit being the deckhands’ friend and give orders. Kelley interviews that he’s trying not to be defensive, but sometimes Lee’s criticism is too much. Lee points out that if there they’re in the middle of the goddamned ocean and there’s an emergency, orders have to be executed now.

Ben serves a breakfast that makes their nice guests swoon. I love it when the guests really appreciate what they’re getting. Kate starts planning the dance party that the guests and definitely not the producers have requested. Ben and Emily make very careful new potential-romance-talk. They’re not just walking on eggshells; they’re newborn fauns walking on eggshells. Emily says that she knew Ben was confident, smart, and witty, but she’s only now noticing how sweet Ben is. Aww.

Time for the deck crew to put out the giant inflatable slide!



Lee watches them as they try not to hate it more than the pool. What they might hate more is Lee micromanaging.

Sierra and Kate talk about Kyle. We’re reminded that Sierra suggested a group thing and Kyle pitched a bit of a hissy fit. Sierra says she doesn’t think Kyle wants to do the group thing. You think? Sierra interviews that she’s single but she met a guy at home who’s not her boyfriend but he did text her on Valentine’s Day (yesterday), which means he’s into her. We’ll call that a Nico. Sierra says she just wants to go and chill out. OK, but you know that’s not what Kyle wants, so manage expectations, Sierra, or don’t go.

One of the guests skips the slide and just jumps over the side of the yacht. That’s a hell of a jump. I’m impressed. The others slide. It seems to be a bit of a steep and fast ride. One of the guests really does not look like she had fun.



Lee releases some rage by laughing at them.

Lauren repeats for us that the plan for Kyle and Sierra tonight is fishing and dancing. Sierra says her horoscope says she’ll be on all day. She did not check Kyle’s horoscope. Lauren leaps onto the fact that that isn’t romantic. Well, yeah. Sierra is less into this with every passing moment. It is weird that everyone is treating it like a relationship is a done deal.

Kate says she’s doing a Vegas/Elvis-themed dance and asks Ben if he’ll be Elvis tonight because he has the darkest hair. He says no. See? Ben is smart.

Oh, a couple of the guests want to hit golf balls off the yacht. I put them on pedestals and loved them too much and now I have been punished. Kelley starts to set Steve up in the exact wrong place to golf – on the padded sunbathing area, for chrissakes – and Lee tells him no, not there, down on the deck in front of the handrails, and is so annoyed that Kelley can’t figure out the best place to put up their stupid fake golf green. Kelley thinks he might hit a few balls while they’re waiting for the guests to change clothes and Lee all but wraps a five-iron around his neck.

The golf equipment they can rustle up is old and sort of grody, so why are the Valor folks even offering this? And also, THIS is want you want to do out of a whole sea of choices and islands all around?



Hitting golf balls into the sea just seems so dickwad. How is it not just deliberate pollution?

The crew change and it’s night! Kate askes Nico to be Elvis since he’s the most handsome. Heh. Nico is into it. And into his own charm. (He’s mostly kidding.) Kate asks Kelley to be a Chippendale. Kate has the Vegas-themed dinner and the guests are happy with the treats she’s thought up.

Emily ties Kelley’s bow tie while he wonders if she wants him or a relationship or just some fun – like him – or what. Psst. Kelley. None of the above. Also, if you just want some fun, why hump after one person this hard? Emily interviews that it’s awkward and she hasn’t told Kelley about Ben because he thinks he’ll be hurt. Gosh, Emily, I wonder if somehow, in this tiny, confined floating combination workplace and college dorm, he’ll find out. This is either Emily’s first on-show idiocy or some true producer skullduggery.

Nico tries to fit all of himself into some very tight Elvis pants. He seems to be going above and beyond the call. Or under and into the call. There is some compacting for the call.

Kelley pumps up for Chippendaling. Dance party time! There are flashing purple lights and the boys welcome the guests and it’s super weird and also hauntingly sad because there are only like eight people there and I think two of them might be parents of other guests.

At 1:30, everyone turns in. Well, almost everyone. Ben is up and cleaning the galley and Emily is up too, bagging trash. Ben freaking adorably calls Emily “Ems” and takes her trash bag from her, saying she’s way above that. He’d love to stay up and talk with her, but there’s cleaning. Kate calls Emily on how she can’t stop smiling. But Emily does feel bad about Kelley. Kate says this is for the best, because it’s never going to happen with Emily and Kelley. Right? Right? Ems won’t commit to saying that out loud.

Morning! The guests have an indoor breakfast on a windy day, the anchor goes up without any drama, and the yacht is on the move. Steve, the primary guest, is happy that Rachel, his brand-new fiancée, has tiny fingers, because it makes the ring look huge. And then he can golf-drive that rock right off the deck and into the water.

The crew talk about home and Kyle says his family doesn’t give a fuck about him. He said goodbye and took off at 15 and joined the army. He also says that he lived in London on the streets for weeks busking as a juggler. He was voluntarily homeless because he was trying to set up life in London for a girl he was in love with. And then the girl left him for a rich South African doctor. Perhaps Kyle was correct when he said that he falls too hard, too quickly, and then makes poor choices. Kate thinks that is super romantic that Kyle was willing to do that. And she loves it that Kyle isn’t embarrassed about anything. He just owns it. He is one straightforward guy. That has, as we will see, advantages and disadvantages.

Back at home port, the crew seems to dock well, which makes Kelley happy. Kate has a romance intervention with Sierra. She says she has to give Kyle a chance because he does such heroic things for love and also because he is an English Ryan Gosling. Sierra says “Why don’t you date him?” to Kate, who she knows has a girlfriend. Sierra is the teensiest bit self-focused. She also, to her credit, says that yes, Kyle looks a little Goslingish, but looks aren’t the main thing she wants. Sierra is being a little odd, but it’s true that this is all over a first date with someone she barely knows about. “Let’s wait and see how we like each other” is a legit answer here.

Time to say goodbye to the guests! Except for the littergolfing, they were lovely! Steve the primary thanks Lee and the crew and hands over what looks like a thick tip envelope.

Aww, on the way out, Rachel thanks Steve for bringing her. They’re going to be OK if they keep appreciating each other and how well they have it. Good luck, you crazy kids!

Kelley is excited to get wasted tonight. He tells Nico he goes all pornstar when drunk. That’s cut with an interview where we see Kelley say that he just wants to spend time with Emily, and then we cut back to Kelley as he mimes an aggressive tongue-waggling kiss. Ugh. OK, yes, editing, but still. It’s nice how clearly we can see these dynamics in a post–Trump Tape world, isn’t it? OK, not nice, exactly, but useful. See how you’re being kinda grody and objectifying Emily, Kelley? See how the grabbing and kissing thing has that creepy non-consensual subtext to it? Here’s a fun tip, Kelley: That hint of the grody and non-consensual was always there. It’s just that we now have the special magic X-ray specs that allow us to see it. Thanks for being such an unrelenting dirtbag, Mr. Trump.

Time for the tip meeting. Kelley zips in to sit next to Emily. He leans his head on her and lounges on her and that would be adorable iif she was even a little bit into it, but she isn’t. Emily mentions in a jokey way that Kelley is always leaning on her because she has to be polite about it or she’s a crazy bitch, but she’s hoping he’ll notice that she’s not into it. Kelley straightens up a little.

Tip time! Lee unreservedly praises the indoor crew and accurately says that the exterior had some hiccups. That’s correct, so I don’t know why Kelley makes an eye-rolling bitchface. Yes, they seem to have finished the charter well. That doesn’t erase the fact that the pool-and-tender incident was an aquatic goat rodeo.

The tips work out to $1350 apiece. Not bad for 48 hours of work, as Lauren points out. I do hope they’re putting all that cash in banks somewhere. Having that much on hand would make me crazy.

Lee says Sierra and Kyle have permission to go fishing for a couple hours after work, but he expects them to make up the time. Also they can all go out for dinner tonight. Yes, that always works out well. If you’re in a reality show, you can only survive by following the opposite of horror movie rules: For the love of God, split up!

Kyle charters a fishing boat and wears a bright pink shirt because he knows how to fucking commit.

Even though it does not look practical for fishing, the shirt choice is awesome. Kelley yells an innuendo-laden “You better catch something!” because Kelley is not awesome.

Kyle wants to catch fish and have loads of fun and then get dinner and then meet the others. Sierra says OK. He interviews that Sierra doesn’t know what it is to be romanced, and he’s going to show her. Which is a lovely intention, but let’s remember that Kyle has chartered a fishing boat and Sierra has exhibited at most a polite interest in fishing. Also, now that the others definitely did not come along, Sierra is on a date that she has not managed to downshift into a friendly group outing. She arguably should have suggested just going for a coffee or something to get to know each other at some point before Kyle chartered a boat, but that probably would have been awkward as hell too now that everyone on the boat has been talking about it for the past 24 hours. Sierra has instead quietly decided to sidle out of the date being a date, which might work with someone not Kyle.

Emily tells Nico and Lauren that she has a date with Ben. Lauren seems pleased and Nico outright laughs. (Though it must sting a little to Lauren, a strong contender for coolest woman on the boat, that Emily now has three men after her, one of them Lauren’s own choice.) They can’t believe that she’s going with Ben all of a sudden, and Emily tells them that in spite of all Kelley’s weird passive-aggressive body contact, Ben is the one who actually sacked up and asked her out, so there you are. Lauren and Nico know that all hell is going to break loose, but they can’t fault Emily for her choice.

Time for the fishing trip! Kyle wants to sit together with Sierra on a one-person fishing chair and she’s not really into it. He asks her more than once to sit together and she says no and then he sits with her anyway. Dude.

Sierra is insisting this is a hangout and she just thought it would be a cool opportunity to for two adults to hang out and get to know each other. Which it isn’t. Kyle chartered a goddamned boat and got mad at the idea of other people coming along. And he has been extremely direct about the fact that he was asking Sierra on a date. Sierra said yes to a date. She should have de-escalated instead of going along with what was clearly a date – and an expensive one – and just trying to will it to be a hangout. Not that she owes him physical affection, but Kyle has been nothing if not clear about the fact that it’s a date, so don’t pretend it’s a kickball game.

Kyle is direct, so one would hope that he could also take blunt communication. Sierra could have told Kyle he was moving too fast and she was uncomfortable. Either he’d back off, in which case maybe future date, or he’d react badly, in which case no chance in hell of date ever.

On the other hand, Kyle, who was refreshingly to the point about telling Sierra he liked her and asking her out, has willfully missed quite a few signals here. Sierra tried to make the date a group thing (HELLO.) and isn’t interested in cuddling. Kyle could have maybe saved things if he’d noticed and dialed it back, but he wouldn’t and didn’t, and now he’s blown his chances.

Kyle also didn’t check out what kind of fishing would be happening. He says this over-the-back trawling is not what he expected. After getting lightly belligerent with Sierra about fishing, Kyle chides her that she could be back cleaning rooms on the boat right now and she gives him his own back with her thesis that she could be in the hot tub right now. Kyle gets challenging with “Are you that bored with me?” and this is where the fishing charter guys should be able to throw a flag and turn this thing around. Kyle fishes while Sierra is glued to her phone.

Nico interviews, as Ben starts to prepare for his night, that Ben is rooming with Kelley and Kelley likes Emily. That’s bad. Especially in a closet-sized crew cabin.

Sierra finds wifi and retreats to a very different part of the boat to text. Kyle asks if there’s a male admirer at home. She says yes, and plays it shady, letting Kyle think the guy is more to her than she suggested he was earlier. On the other hand, “I have a boyfriend” is a pretty age-old  go-to for a woman when she wants a guy to leave her alone. “I have a boyfriend” is found on clay tablets written in cuneiform. Kyle assumes that the male admirer is both Sierra’s official boyfriend and the person on the other side of the texts right now, which would suck if either were true, but at least one of them isn’t.

Sierra really doesn’t want any more of Kyle moving in physically and says she’s going to sip her wine over there by herself. Obviously we’ve seen very little of this trip, but it’s potentially icky in a couple of directions. It’s weird if Sierra let Kyle pay for a huge afternoon out and is making her point by blowing him off there instead of beforehand. But on the other hand, it’s not cool if Kyle has been trying to up physical contact to the point where she feels the need to draw that boundary. Sierra doesn’t seem to be great at drawing them, so who knows what got her there? The edit suggests that after some awkward conversation Sierra just suddenly blew Kyle off and started ignoring him in favor of her phone. I dunno. Maybe. She does seem to be best at thinking about her own immediate comfort, but on the other hand, she has been getting a bit of a raw deal with all the supercuts of dudes calling her crazy. This show is an onion of bad behavior.

Kyle returns from the trip annoyed. Sierra is so done with physical contact that she won’t let him give her a hand to help her onto the dock. Kyle is angry, and tells Ben (And apparently Kelley can overhear?) that Sierra texted her guy friend the whole time and has a boyfriend that she didn’t mention until the date. Ben is baffled.

Kyle interviews that no one can blame you if you’re honest. Kelley is immediately snarly to Sierra, who says she wasn’t texting her boyfriend. He doesn’t believe her. She calls him mean.

Ben is in a sharp blue shirt (another Kate consultation) and Kelley has just now heard that Ben and Emily are going out. He is miffed and goes into a bro-code whine. YOU NEVER ASKED HER OUT. What, was he claiming Emily via scent-marking? Emily has selected a teeny little black dress for dinner. Kyle has a moment smoking on the dock with Kelley. They and talk about how Kelley is pissed. Kelley says Ben does this every season. Kyle says that Sierra spent the trip taking photos of herself and sending them to another guy. (OK, that’s not exactly what happened, apparently, but having a texting party mid-date is pretty goddamned rude.) Kelley tells Kyle not to take Sierra to dinner (There was still a question of them going to dinner!?) and not to get hurt. Kelley, over-identifying like Kyle has freaking mind-melded him, says Kyle is just like him and he’ll just get hurt. He says he wants tonight to just be about the deck crew. That is a lie. Kelley wants the night to be about Bros Being Victims of Hos and also people telling Kelley he is awesome and underappreciated.

DINNER! The Posh Southern Brit Dinner of Maybe Possible Love!

Ben and Emily cute at each other. They both get the scallops and pronounce them the same. Kelley and Kyle are bitching about the texting still. Lauren corrects the bad information flying around and says that Sierra was just texting a girlfriend, and Kyle, to his credit, confirms that. Kelley, who is just a full-on asshole during this sequence, immediately snaps that Sierra was lying. Based on what knowledge, exactly? Kelley, in the middle of a jealous piss fit, is now ruling on the truth based on what he’s just decided about women because the woman he hasn’t been paying enough attention to to notice that she doesn’t like it when he wallows all over her has decided she’d rather dine with someone else.

Kyle decides that instead of him and Sierra going to dinner, they’ll just do a group thing. Which, we’ll recall, is what she wanted in the first place. Lauren reports to Sierra that Kelley is being a dick and they’re all going out to dinner, so just don’t sit next to him.

Ben and Emily seem to hit a small-talk rough patch: There’s a lot talking about dill and its place in the world. I really hope that’s British slang for anything other than actual dill. And then finally Ben asks about Emily and why she started yachting. They both left home for unexpected career paths, and they feel that connection. Emily likes spending one-on-one time with Ben and says it feels easy and natural.

Sierra heads toward Kelley and asks him directly why he’s upset with her. Because, seriously, he’s acting like she cheated on him after a long-term relationship, not like she blew off Kyle on a first date. He says he’s not upset in a way that shows he clearly is because Kelley is a teenager. Then after immediately saying he’s not angry with her, he says she’s angry because she didn’t tell the truth to Kyle. She says she’s been straight with Kyle and Kelley says that Sierra didn’t make the point well enough for Kyle to understand it, therefore she didn’t tell the truth. (So, to be clear: Direct rejection is bitchery and soft rejection is deceitful. So many good options for ladies who do not wish to date you, Kelley!) Kelley says it’s the lying that makes him angry and walks away from a tensely smiling Sierra. She says he’s not done talking with him and they don’t understand each other, but he’s done talking to her.

Kelley, who started every bit of this particular bit of drama, walks back to the others yelling that Sierra is drama. Women from all over the world parachute in to yell at Kelley.

To review all of Sierra’s CR-AZY drama here:

She approached Kelley calmly and in private to ask why she was upset.

She says she’s telling the truth when Kelley, with literally no evidence, thinks she must not be.

She does not wish to go to dinner with people who are currently being aggressive and snappy with her.

Yeah, what an unreasonable bitch.

Sierra says she’s not going to dinner. Nico and Lauren try to persuade her to go. OY. Sierra accurately says that it would be making more drama if she went out with them at this point. Why are we pretending that it wouldn’t? Nico, fortunately for my sanity, has the situation completely sized up. He says that Kelley is the one making a scene and that it’s because he’s mad that Emily is out with Ben. Yep. 800 points for Nico.

WHY are people still insisting that Sierra has to come out? She’s done and she doesn’t want to add drinking and group dynamics to the tensions that are already there. That’s a really sensible way to go. And surely an occasional break from each other is a good thing in general? I wonder if they get docked by Bravo if they don’t all go out together. On the other hand, there is always some dumb-ass who says the whole evening is ruined if everyone doesn’t go out together. Don’t be that dumb-ass.

Kelley doesn’t go off to dinner with the others and stomps back up to lash out at Sierra, his substitute Emily. Kate steps in and asks WTF, and the second Kelley says “She didn’t tell Kyle…” she jumps in and says that this is none of Kelley’s business. He says it is because it’s “affecting his crew.” Hilarious. You know how enormous a drama queen Kelley is? KYLE HAS LONG CALMED DOWN AND GONE TO DINNER. Kelley finally goes. Lauren stays for like a nanosecond to check in with Sierra and Kelley yells “Lauren! Come!” Charming.

Reminder: Kelley is the guy who said women on deck crews are a problem because girls catch feelings.

Kate explains to Sierra that Kelley is substitute flipping out on her because Ben is taking Emily to dinner. Kelley and Kyle man-hug and thump each other on the back, bros in female betrayal. NEITHER OF YOU WAS ACTUALLY DATING THE WOMAN IN QUESTION, YOU IDIOTS. Go to your room, do a shot, punch the heavy bag, and move on. That’s what women do. Kate says growing up is learning how to handle rejection and that’s not a life skill Kelley has mastered. Kate is once again correct. It looks like Kate wasn’t going to go out to dinner (destroying my Bravo cast bonus theory), but she’ll go out for Sierra.

The deck hands go out to drink a whole bunch. That is a stupid idea given that one is already mad and one is morose, but I’m guessing there’s no getting out of it now that Kelley has declared it a Hurt Bros So We All Have to Bond night. God, how exhausting. Nico says their shots taste like cough syrup and ass and Kelley has a moment of recognition and agrees. So, must be Jagermeister, then.

Emily says that it was refreshing to have Ben ask her out. I bet it was, after Nico and Kelley were sliding all over her like baby otters. She says she’s glad that Ben asked her out verbally like a grownup. And glad she’s with Ben and not Kelley. Ben says Emily is a joy to talk to, intelligent, and sophisticated. Hey, did you notice that part where Ben noticed and appreciated things about Kelley’s personality? I wonder if that’s a factor in her preferences?

Emily and Ben come back from dinner and walk toward the drinkfaced deck hands. Kate and Sierra set out and Kate tells Sierra that Kelley is acting like a junior high school girl. Emily wants to use the loo while Ben gets a table, leaving him standing there a bit awkwardly. Lauren runs up to hug them. And also, I suspect, to break the current focus of her table and defuse the situation. Sierra and Kate also arrive. Ben is so bummed that everyone is there, especially the someone who is most likely to punch him. OK, but is this place like right next to their dock or what? Why are we all here at this same place?

Sierra tells her faction – Ben, Emily, Kate, and maybe Lauren and Nico – that Kyle was getting overbearing on their date and expecting too much. Kyle comes up to Sierra and says hey, it was a date, and he felt like she was on the date but showing interest to someone back home. And he was clear that it was a date and that he liked her and he was very clear about his affections. So he says her behavior hurt him. And now he thinks they should call it a day and get on with their lives. Which is good on the front of clear communication, but he’s missing the part where moving way more slowly could have saved it. And also the part where falling hard for Sierra does not obligate her to fall equally hard and fast for him. And there’s a lot of that going around, Kelley.

Nico hates being in the middle of this. He’s taking a pizza home, which is the first successfully executed good decision of the entire night. Lauren and Kelley walk home a little ahead of Nico. Sierra apologizes to Kyle and says she took it the wrong way. Kyle says he hopes things work out with the other guy and time and effort is what she needs. They hug.

Kyle interviews that he accepts what happened, but he’s done with her.

In fact, if Sierra comes to him begging for it one day, his door is locked. I suspect he doesn’t need to worry too much about his resolve being tested on that point.

Drunk Lauren wants a grilled cheese before bed and then, after she and Even Drunker Kelley set up and turn on the sandwich grill, she takes Nico’s pizza, dropping a slice.

Kate realizes that the remainders are horning in on Ben and Emily’s nice date and organizes the crew to leave immediately. Helluva wingwoman, Kate.

Lauren and Nico and Kelley dance. Is a three person dance party sadder than an eight-person dance party?

Back on shore, Ben emerges from the bar with drinks to just find Emily. He acts like that’s weird, but I’m assuming it’s probably what they wanted for several reasons.

Lee, who is just trying to go about his goddamned night, asks Kate why there is a fucking pizza trail on the way up to his quarters. Kate is grossed out by mess and hates avoidable screw-ups and thus she is not OK with this. Kate likes control, and this is out of control.

Nico goes into the kitchen and finds the sandwich grill on sitting there smoking. (Do you know how fast fires spread on boats? Really goddamned fast.) Nico is sober enough to be annoyed because it’s incredibly stupid and unsafe and now he’s in the middle of someone else’s problem, like he has been all evening. He wraps the smoking (!) toaster in a cloth and takes it outside to deal with it and manages to run into Captain Lee and Kate on his way. Perfect. Lee and the toaster are now smoking at roughly the same rate. Lee is so angry he gets all quiet. Kate walks in and find Nico cleaning the kitchen with vigor. Poor Nico. He’s doing all the right things and this isn’t his mess. Kate is pissed. She knows the toaster probably wasn’t Nico’s fault, and she interrogates him about that and the pizza. Nico doesn’t know about the toaster and is trying to at least cover Lauren’s butt about the pizza – and probably his own too there, so he’s not talking, which makes Kate even more irritated.

Kate is still trying to reconstruct the messmaking when the drunk deckies swirl past, refusing to stop or answer her or acknowledge her as one of the boat’s managers. Nico takes off with them. Kate is going to make a laminated magic marker–decorated machete and heads will roll.

Drunk Lauren is interrogating Nico on where he was and why he was cleaning the crew mess. Kate reports the deckies’ behavior to Kelley and Lee. Kelley interprets that as her trying to throw him under the bus in front of the captain.

Ben asks Emily in French for a little kiss (Does he think Bravo won’t translate it?) and she says she might not be ready for that. Ben says he understands. Emily interviews that Ben is good at reading signals and is respectful. See, Kelley?. Ben says there wasn’t real chemistry between them before, but now there is. Aww.

Kelley tells Kate that “the skillet” was on him, but the pizza isn’t. Kate says it was dangerous to leave a heating device on and let’s talk about it in the morning when everyone is clear-headed. Which is probably the best possible plan, but there’s no way any of them are looking forward to morning. Except maybe Emily and Ben.

Instead of a “Next time,” we get a “still to come this season” promo. HOLY CRAP, HOW MANY SHOWS ARE LEFT?!

There are fireworks and a shot of Kyle in silly drag and voiceover of Kyle saying he came out to his father to this song – WAIT, WHAT?

Is this why Kyle was so calm about Kate being bi? Kate wonders if they’re both gay. KATE.

Sierra wonders why Kyle was so hurt by her, then. In another shot, she calls Kyle a queen, which means Little Miss I Was So Daring and Kissed Girls and College can pretty much go fuck herself forever.

Ben and Emily heat up and a difficult guest returns.

A guest sends a dish back, apparently for the first time ever for Ben.

Nico calls Kate the root of all evil on the boat. The crew parties in what looks like an unsanctioned way. Ben and Kate fight, in part over Emily.

Nico and Kelley fight. Lee wants to rip Kelley’s head off. Nico gets field-promoted to bosun. (Trevor! This would have been your chance! O, cruel world!)

And everyone yells at everyone else in every possible combination. HOW MANY EPISODES ARE LEFT?!?!

It doesn’t matter. You know I’ll see you here. Bring your fancy pink shirts.

The post Below Deck Season 3 Episode 8: Time For An Actual Grown-Up Dinner Date appeared first on Bitter Empire.

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