Previously: We had a premiere! There were judges! 31 contestants got cut to 22!
We know that this is a show about people getting cut, but we should be excited to know that more cuts are coming!
What’s not coming is a break for the models. The chosen 22 seem to run straight from last week’s foam party and into the Model House to meet the Property Brothers. I will go ahead and admit that I have not seen their show and I cannot seem to find their appeal. I’m sure they are the very best sort of television real estate sociopaths.
The Property Brothers are twins, and Nyle feels a bond because he is also a twin, though his is fraternal and – whoa! – looks very different. Looks like they negotiated a very equitable division of dark and ginger looks in the womb.
Tyra “reached out” to the Property Brothers on Twitter and – Ha ha! – they say they thought they’d been invited on to be models! Which just happens to leave them an opening to say that they used to be models! Oy.
One of the Property Brothers says that his brother was actually a female model, because ha, ha! It’s an insult to call someone a woman! Also: Does that insult work when the person to whom you have just delivered the sick burn of femminess looks exactly like you?
Anyway, the Property Brothers designed the remodel of the Model House and everyone thinks it is just the best.
There is a “dream kitchen,” where one of the Prop Bros adorably theorizes that the models will whip up a bunch of meals. Well, no, but they will have fights in it over alcohol and snacks.
Bello says he love the mansion because he had $100 when he came to California and he was on skid row and never wants to be there again. Tough to argue with Bello on that one.
Because it is a home for models, there is a runway! One of the Property Brothers busts out some old breakdancing moves.
The models applaud to try to wake up everyone in the viewing audience, who have all just fainted from the tidal wave of vicarious shame and sadness.
There are inspiring model slogans on the walls! One has “BeauTALLful” and BeauSMALLful,” so you can see how committed we are to the whole any-height-you-please thing. Billy Barty and André the Giant could walk in, and Tyra would treat them just the same. Mostly because they are both dead. Oh, now I’m sad.
There is a phone room! The models have to check in every day, for some reason. I guess to make sure they’re surveilled properly.
The Property Brothers say that it’s different designing for a house for 22 people who need a runway. Thank goodness Tyra had so many opinions and was available to help. Say what you will, the woman can hang the blazes out of some drywall.
Jesus, one of the rooms is done in black-and-white jaggedy zigzags with orange accents. Seizurerrific!
There is also a “casual space,” and of course, there is the TYRA SUITE. Don’t assume you can just waltz in there, peasant. The Tyra suite must be earned. Mamé says that since she’s a diplomat’s daughter and has lived a reverse Cinderella story the suite will be hers.
Ooh, and in a return to an old-school Top Model tormenting technique, there are two bedrooms with only 14 beds for the 22 contestants! The models charge around, being as gross as possible about claiming beds and leaping into various sharing combinations.
Mikey says he is up for sharing his bed with a sexy girl. It doesn’t matter what color that sexy girl is, or whether she is small or tall – he’s going for it. Sigh. Mikey likes Mamé, but she’s into Justin. Justin takes a moment to show us how smooth he can be, and we have to wonder how long that crush will last. Justin actually seems like a pretty OK guy when he’s not doing that, which I hope he will figure out sooner rather than later.
Devin says he is a happy spirit with good energy. Oh, here we go. He says he likes to crack jokes and make everybody happy. He’s already running around the house being a loon. He reminds us that he has been signed by no fewer than six modeling agencies, but that he’s too different and exotic to get work. (OK, but then why did they sign him?)
Bello says Devin is loud and a little annoying. Bello is not incorrect, but as we discussed last week, Devin is Bello’s direct competition both in terms of having unusual looks and in terms of being almost the exact same brand of batshit, and thus the two loathe each other. The producers must have wept with joy when they realized they had them both on their hands.
Some people don’t have beds. It looks like Hadassah and Alexa didn’t run for beds. Hadassah says she didn’t because she’s in heels. Hadassah and Alexa refuse to cram into one of the big group beds, and Alexa will not sleep in a bunk.
Lacey says Hadassah is too pageant, which is different than modeling, and is maybe someone Lacey doesn’t want to be around.
Alexa is nervous about living with roommates, which she hasn’t done before. Oh, Alexa. This is no ordinary roommate situation. But she says she’s doing this and will be crushed if she’s sent home. She and the other people without beds are getting sleeping bags on the floor, the couch, and the porch. Brutal, but I approve because it is a fine old ANTM tradition, even if it is being applied with particular cruelty this time.
Downstairs is a posing station! It has a camera to check out your angles so that the truly vain – er, I mean driven – can pose and pose and pose and pose and pose forever if they choose. Ava says she takes selfies every single day, so this is no mere hypothetical possibility. Criminy, Ava seems to wear a different flower crown every day.
That is indicative of some terrifying untapped crazy potential. Like how the soil around the volcano produces particularly bountiful crops.
Miss J. and Yu Tsai arrive. Isn’t that always the way when you’re already several beds down? It’s time for a challenge! Dang, this looks like a stressful day for the models.
Lacey thinks there will be another big cut and wants to get into the “top 14” based on the 14 beds (Don’t forget the Tyra Suite, Lacey!). I think Lacey has underestimated how much night-vision groping the producers are hoping to capture in overstuffed beds, but still: She’s one to watch, that Lacey. I hope she’s smart enough to not get labeled The Smart One, because if you are The Smart One, Tyra becomes threatened and feels you must be cut down.
Yu Tsai makes everyone applaud the fact that the Tyra Suite is on the line. There’s going to be an elimination posedown: The models will face off in twos until there’s only one left smizing. Ava says she’s definitely getting into that Tyra Suite. The editing gets reeaaaaaaaal fast as of Round Two, either because it’s kind of boring or because they’re trying to cover the fact that we immediately get to an odd number of models.
Round One
Delanie vs. Maleesa in a “bad-ass” pose: Maleesa says she’s going to be a petite supermodel. Delanie says Maleesa is adorable, but that she, Delanie, is unique in this competition because not everyone looks like her. Standing behind Delanie as she poses is Lacey, who looks like her. Maleesa wins.
Dallas vs. Bryant, “just got broken up with” pose: Both guys go all Droopy Dawg. Dallas wins.
Ava vs. Justin, “selfie” pose: They both hold their arms out with invisible phones in their hands! Ava really loves taking selfies. Yu Tsai and Miss J. say you have to tell a story on the set. Ava’s story is that she really loves taking goddamn selfies, and she wins. Kids: Please do not learn from this.
Bello vs Miguel, “Kanye interrupts your Model of the Year speech” pose: (PEOPLE. Stop yelling. I am just reporting the facts here.) Bello pulls his shirt aside to show what would be some skin if his undershirt wasn’t in the way. One of the Property brothers goggles “Are you trying to turn Kanye on?!” Welcome to grownup life, Property Bros. Devin hates it – HATES IT – that Bello starts doing all this “extra shit.” Well done, producers. Well done. Bello pulls a Charlie’s Angels finger gun (I AM JUST. REPORTING. THE FACTS.) and thus is eliminated and Miguel wins.
Lacey vs. Courtney, “pulled over by cop” pose: This is super freaking gross because everyone involved assumes that a) the cop is a straight male and b) the correct thing to do is to try to seduce him. No one person objects or questions it. Yu Tsai even says out loud “You should be flirting with the cop so you don’t have to pay for the ticket.” This moment of empowering young women has been brought to you by Tyra Banks. Courtney wins.
Ashley vs. Nyle, “break-the-internet booch” pose, which makes no damned sense because Tyra specifically invented the word “booch,” to describe what boys do instead of tooching. I need to go do some Sudoku or something, because I actually felt brain cells die when I typed that. Anyway, Ashley is at a colossal disadvantage here. By definition, she cannot booch!
Stefano says he’s really impressed with Nyle being able to pose while deaf, because when you’re taking a picture you have to react very quickly. This is the least douchey thing Stefano has said yet on the show, so we’ll sigh deeply and try to appreciate the effort. Nyle pulls his shirt aside for maximum buttitude and wins it.
Devin vs. Dustin, “swag” pose: Dustin says he can’t do swag because he’s a country boy. That’s no way to think if you wanna be on top, Dustin. Devin wins.
Stefano vs Hadassa. “my trainer is so hot, I’m trying not to sweat” pose (Kind of a long session thinking these up, eh, producers?): Neither really commits emotionally, but Hadassah bends way over and wins it. Mighty Lacey is grossed out. She imitates Hadassah requesting tape to keep her boobs from popping out.
We don’t see Alexa and Mikey’s wins, but apparently they did. Yes, that’s only 10 people. WHAT IS UP, SHOW?
Round Two
Alexa vs. Mikey, “regret that text you just sent” pose: Mikey says he kind of likes Alexa and says her boobs are going to get her places. In the very instant you’re thinking Mikey is an unbelievably sexist asshole, we cut to a close-up of Alexa’s cleavage with a ding-ding sound effect. Thanks again for empowering women, Tyra! Mikey says that if Alexa wants to get together, she should let him know because he is single and horny. Form an orderly line, ladies! Alexa, whose brain is not busy reducing people down to individual body parts, wins.
Mamé vs. Gage (Who?!), “bad sunburn” pose: Justin says Mamé is just gorgeous. Can romance be far behind? Gage has an advantage because he actually has a sunburn, but you will not be surprised to hear that Mamé wins this one because this show has been erasing Gage like he was a Bush-era White House visitors log. What the hell did Gage do?
Ava vs Nyle, “girl-or-boy-next-door” pose: Whoa! Ava wins it while Nyle is still thinking what to do.
We see Courtney and Hadassah and Devin lose, but not who they were up against, or for what pose. This show has some serious X-Files disappearing contestants madness going on. Did some of them sign their waivers in disappearing ink or what?
Final Round!
Mamé vs. Ava (Yes, the two people who said they would win the Tyra Suite. How exciting! Unless they had everyone say it and only showed us these two!), “tummyache tooch pose.”
STOP THROWING THINGS. I did not make these poses up. Go talk to the Property Brothers. Or whatever producers fed these to them.
Ava and Mamé try to look sexy and vomity at the same time, which is actually pretty hilarious.
Ava really wants to relax in that suite, but Miss J. and Yu Tsai don’t see sexy and fashion. Mamé scowls into that sexy booty stomachache and she wins the Tyra Suite! Mamé says she is someone to watch. The Property Brothers praise her for committing, even when the poses were insane.
She can take just one person with her to the Tyra Suite. Mamé asks if she can take either a girl or a boy. Why, yes! Mikey announces that he’s a good cuddler. Somebody get Mikey some saltpeter. You can actually hear the producerboners fade when Mamé picks India (WHO?! ), another girl. Don’t worry, producers. There are still six people without beds! Mamé confirms that handsome Justin is the guy she would have picked if she’d had to.
We head into the majesty that is the Tyra Suite. It’s done in lemon yellow and Tyra. Tyra slogans and catchphrases, such as, for real, “Eye see your beauty,” are on the walls and giant Tyra pictures are everywhere, so good luck dropping off to sleep, winners!
There is a genuinely luxurious-looking humongous bathroom, a Jacuzzi, and a sweet balcony view. Well done, Mamé. Ava wants that suite next, but Mamé won’t give it up that easily.
Hadassah is not happy with Mamé’s win. She thinks Mamé is filled with hubris (no, she doesn’t say “hubris”) and is on her way down.
The Tyra Suite residents will apparently also get a special video greeting from Tyra. Well, that’ll get the morning adrenaline going. In this first video, Tyra is twins just like the Property Brothers! Or maybe one of her is a usurping clone, because they’re both named Tyra? It’s not entirely clear. One of the bantering twins is Regular Tyra and one is unpredictable Wacky Tyra, which is a laughably transparent nod to the dualist theology of the Cathars.
This truly is the most shocking season of them all!
Regular Tyra says she’s waiting for the DNA tests on Wacky Tyra. As you do when your pod-person doppelganger shows up and tries to claim your life. No need to rush things. Even though she doesn’t seem to understand how twins work, I actually kind of love it that Tyra has given herself an excuse to mug shamelessly with one of her personas while the other one gives exposition. Why not?
The models selfie their faces off, including one three-man “ab check.” Mamé dances in the Tyra Suite in a bathrobe over her regular clothes.
Stefano’s going to be sleeping on the couch. He says he didn’t want to fight for a bed, in a surprisingly nondouchey moment. Mikey says he wants Lacey in bed with him. Dude was not kidding about being horned up. Maybe give it a rest for ten seconds? Mikey says he’s getting very sexually frustrated because he’s single and there are pretty women in bikinis wandering around. Next, Mikey tries to get Maleesa to be his “little teddy bear,” and announces that he’s slept with about 50 girls by way of enticing her. Yes, truly, Mikey, there is no better way to convince a woman that you are a sexual sophisticate than by announcing that you’ve done it a whole bunch of times.
Devin is running around on what he says is a sugar high and Bello haaaates it that someone crazier is taking up space and attention. He says Devin is shady and not acting like a model. Bello wonders if Devin thinks he has just joined a frat house, confirming that Bello has not, in fact, been inside a frat house. Bello says that he and Devin will bump heads a lot. Truth.
Bryant, attempting to intimidate the others with a display of Modeling Dominance, baby oils himself and flexes into the mirror in his panties.
Hadassah, who, we will recall, said last week that everyone would compete to be her friend, is now telling us and everyone in the house every single thing they do that she dislikes. She doesn’t like it when people “eat by putting their hands in stuff,” or “just eat stuff,” among other things. The women she’s lecturing seem to be eating in a perfectly sanitary and contained way, but she is clearly building to something. Hadassah says she wants to try to get everyone to like her, but that’s not guaranteed. The odds are dropping by the second, in fact.
Hadasah calls a house meeting about drinking out of community bottles (which is legit gross, but has anyone done that yet?) and she says she’s not used to sharing things. You don’t say. Almost everyone sits there quietly waiting for Hadassah to shut up as she rambles for an indeterminate amount of time. Devin and Justin say Hadassah is high-maintenance. Correct.
In the most amazing moment, Hadassah asks people not to stare at her from a distance. What? I can’t even imagine what that could have meant, even under heavy editing. Hadassah is long on rules, but short on self-awareness. Lacey is taking comfort in the fact that the room is growing to dislike Hadassah right along with her.
Hadassah realizes that she’s getting the stinkeye from Lacey and decides to give her helpful self-righteous (but not self-aware!) advice on pre-judging new people. Lacey points out that she’s not pre-judging so much as basing her opinion on Hadassah’s current arrogance. (Lacey used the word “arrogant” correctly. LOOK OUT, LACEY!)
Lacey accurately sizes Hadassah up as someone who will not be engaging in a reasonable exchange of ideas and decides to avoid drama and just avoid her. Oh, dear. If Lacey is The Smart One and avoids drama, she’s in trouble.
Ramon translates as Nyle asks people to include him with his speech-to-text (and text-to-speech) phone app. (Where does Ramon sleep? Does he get a bed?) Everyone is delighted that it works! The models hit the pool as Nyle once again confirms that yes, deaf people can do things.
Mikey says he’s in his room “open to anything” (for chrissakes, someone get Mikey a cone), and he notices that Courtney has nowhere to sleep and invites her into his bed. She’s nervous because she has a boyfriend, but there she goes. We see night vision footage of Courtney and Mikey… sleeping.
Alexa hates sharing her living space and sleeping on the floor, plus everyone upstairs is hella loud. Also she wants to get up at 4:00 in the morning to do her hair and makeup and people are taking one million selfies with blaring professional photography lights while she’s trying to sleep. Alexa says she’ll be running on four hours of sleep at best. Stefano feels lightly bad about having been a dick to her, but not a lot, because he thinks she’s a “golddigger type.” Stefano, did you learn nothing from Hadassah’s lecture on prejudgment?
Stefano is part of the Infinite Selfie Crew, who really are shouting and flashing bright lights while three people are right there in sleeping bags. Alexa says some people are really rude and annoying. She’s running on fumes and can’t believe all the dickishness around her.
Universal Citywalk!
This might be the most artificially touristy place in all of Los Angeles County, and that is saying something. The models will be doing their Pretend Naked photo shoot in the middle of it, and they will be censoring their “fierce” body parts with their own hashtags.
Kelly blah blahs about the pointless hashtags being “the connectors of all things in social media.” Sigh. Kelly also says today is when we’ll shoot the cast photo. It’s good that she says that, because we shan’t be seeing it. She says that since it’s the cast photo, whatever image they create will be going viral. Well, I guess that’s true, depending on the virus in question.
Bryant tells us he always goes viral on Instagram and has hundreds of thousands of followers, just in case you were worried that he would be less of a toolbag this week. He says one of his pictures is already a “household photo.” Big-eyed children also had their day as household images, Bryant, so settle the fuck down.
Mikey says nothing happened with Courtney while they shared a bed, but she obviously likes him. Devin congratulates Mikey like they’re the T-Birds in the “Tell Me More” number.
Courtney says she and Mikey “just did innocent stuff.” She does say she has a little crush on him and wonders what will happen. Courtney, you had a boyfriend like five minutes ago! Wait another episode before you throw him over. And maybe choose a guy who isn’t just a set of gonads dangling from a ponytail.
The boys are nervous because they’ll be wearing thongs in the middle of Universal Citywalk. Justin says thongs are uncomfortable, and he doesn’t know how women do it. Aw, Justin is evolving!
Devin makes fun of Bello practicing his poses (which is what he’s supposed to be doing right now), and Bello says Devin can be a mean girl. Just when Bello has you, saying that Devin needs to shut the fuck up, he loses it by also saying that Devin needs to “humble himself.” This is truly a personality disorder battle for the ages.
Mikey has spotted that Devin and Bello are in direct competition with each other because they both have high-fashion looks, but he politely does not mention that they are both whackadoodles.
Massimo Campana will be one of today’s photographers, and Erik Asla will be the other. Fine.
Mikey says that Alexa is quiet and doesn’t interact and you have to socialize in this industry. Alexa isn’t feeling very social. She says this is all too much for her and starts crying. Yu Tsai tries to comfort her by saying he was bullied all his life too, which makes me absolutely baffled as to why he can be such a dick to the models. I don’t think Yu Tsai has fully applied his life lessons from that experience.
Stefano doesn’t like the fact that Alexa had cried twice now (and will never, ever sleep with him). Alexa thinks about how far she has come, but is ready to go home and get some goddamned sleep. Kelly is surprisingly nice about it and says Alexa could even turn around at the end of the parking lot and she’d still bring her back. (Spoiler: Alexa hits the end of the lot and keeps right on going.)
Stefano douches that he called it and Alexa couldn’t take the heat. He hopes more people drop out so he can stay.
Photo time!
Mamé gets her “own” hashtag that is #MameANTM, without even the accent aigu at the end of her name. The gall. Justin is not high fashion enough for Yu Tsai, but then he wakes up.
Devin laughs as Bryant pops his pecs. Bryant announces that he’s confident and going to rock this. Yu Tsai begs to differ. He thinks Bryant isn’t versatile enough for high fashion. After a tricky shoot, Bryant realizes he might be in trouble. Is this Götterdoucherung?
Miguel, Dallas, and Dustin get rushed through. Lacey is killing it, but Hadassah is nervous. Yu Tsai says she won’t commit to the pose. He should hear her commit to bitching about people’s eating habits.
Ava is nervous about the “fans” everywhere who are watching the shoot. By “fans,” she means “random people wandering around a tourist trap who have stopped to gawp,” but what the hell. Yu Tsai says she’s too hoochie. Ava calls herself a cool Christian again, and says she’s outgoing with her body. Yu Tsai says she doesn’t understand English. Then she gets it? Yu Tsai says “That was like giving birth.” I can’t tell if that’s meant to be good or bad.
Yu Tsai loves Nyle because he pays such close attention and reads his expression. (Where is Ramon?) YT says he’s a good model and delivers.
Delanie has good energy. Maleesa is the shortest so she is SERIOUS about this. Her hashtag is FUCKING MISSPELLED.
Yu Tsai says Mikey looks like he’s taking a prison mug shot. Mikey just hates it that his magical hair is in a bun. His powers are gone! Mikey says his hair helps with high fashion and with getting laid. I am now convinced that Mikey is a virgin.
Bello can move! Yu Tsai says he’s someone that you either love or hate, and he’s not sure which side he’s going to come down on.
Devin does an insane finger-biting pose.
He says he’s killing it. Yu Tsai says he started great and then (Surprise!) went all nutso. Bello is watching Devin’s shoot from the side and throwing shade and Devin gets rattled. Also, Yu Tsai is way harder on Devin than (apparently) anyone has ever been. When he’s done with his shoot, Devin starts crying. Like hard crying. Like how you imagine a horse might cry, that’s how hard Devin is crying. Bello says it’s just for attention and is clearly furious that that’s where the attention is indeed going.
Back at the house, Devin goes back to crazypantsing it up. Instead of just letting Devin do that and alienate the other people in the house on his own, Bello makes a disastrous calculation. He confronts Devin about his crying as though he is in a position to order people around, asking Devin if they should do this alone or in front of everyone. Devin correctly says that Bello does not know him and its none of Bello’s business. Bello thinks Devin is “disrespectful” and launches into HOW-DARE-YOU posturing that he has not in any way earned.
If you watch the models in the background, you can actually see Bello’s status drop as they mentally cross him off their lists of people they will ever again listen to.
Mikey, in confessional and having twisted his hair into a front-bun that is equal parts unicorn horn, onion dome, and Dairy Queen cone, says Bello will not be the boss of him. He has so much power when his hair is with him.
Bryant and Dallas decide not to worry about Devin because he’s getting eliminated soon. Probably, yes. Bello says Devin is a crazy person. Um.
Judging!
Tyra notes that we’re down to 21 people, due to Alexa’s departure and math.
The judges love Mamé, but her bone structure is problematic. What? Tyra and Kelly love Justin. Miss J. is rightfully skeptical of the smooth. Delanie looks good, but Yu Tsai says he models heavy from having once been overweight. What?
Nyle looks crazy hot. Kelly says the fact that he can’t hear could be a problem on set. Yu Tsai says it wasn’t, so there. Kelly doesn’t like Maleesa, but Tyra defends her bus picture from last week.
Kelly loves Mikey. She says he’s rock-and-roll, proving for the umpteenth year in a row that Kelly doesn’t quite know what rock-and-roll is. Miss J. says Mikey looks criminal. Kelly says Miss J. is “projecting against rock-and-roll people.” Oh, Kelly.
Courtney looks fierce, and I say that without irony. Kelly says she’s scary in person, but damn, does it work on camera. Dallas is doing double Angelina Jolie legs and looks like he might be dump-ready. Ashley is gorgeous; Dustin is deemed too Teen Beat, too middle America, and too vanilla. Yeowtch.
The judges love Lacey, but is she too sweet? Tyra says Lacey is like a young and perfect Tyra Banks, when she was pure and virginal, but could still pose real sexy. (At fifteen. Will we discuss how messed-up that – No? Fine.) Anyway, Lacey has gotten the Young Tyra blessing and will be going far, provided she keeps those analytical skills under wraps.
Hadassah is beautiful, but pageant and arrogant. Correct. Bryant is muscly, but Yu Tsai doesn’t care for his cheesy underwear modeling ways.
Ava they like! Cheekbones for days! Miss J. LOVES Bello because she loves “a bitch in in invisible heels,” which is indeed the pose Bello is doing. Yu Tsai says Bello is a train wreck, but you knew that when you cast him, so let’s not play. Once again, the judges discuss Bello’s intense blue eyes and confirm that he was born with them. And they are looking ice-blue lasers of death at Devin.
Devin’s shot is super weird. The judges think he looks insane but captivating. Tyra says again that she found him on Instagram. The judges love Stefano, so I guess they haven’t talked with him much. They like his lips Tyra says he poses like a girl.
And as for Gage and India’s pictures… They do not exist. There are no Gage and India. There never were a Gage and India. You must be mistaken. Srsly, show, what the hell? Did you accidentally cast spies? Or vampires? Do Gage and India not show up on film? FREE THE BLANKED CONTESTANTS.
I just hope they didn’t go out like the Cathars.
The judges have made their decisions. Miss J. wants Bello to make it through so he can look in Bello’s eyes and turn to stone and then Kelly can make a necklace out of him. That’s not a joke. They actually said that.
Industrial Hellscape
We are in an industrial port, surrounded by stacks and stacks of huge shipping containers. We’ll be deciding, in Miss J.’s words, who will shape up and who will ship out. (Get it? Get it?) This will be the cut to the final 14 and Bello just hopes Devin doesn’t make it. Golly, do you think Gage and India will make the cut? Or have they already teleported back to Area 51?
Alexis Borges, agency director of NEXT Management says everyone should be very nervous. Devin says he will be devastated if he won’t make it, but then again, Devin will be devastated if the production assistants bring back the wrong brand of ketchup for the house so, you know, grain of salt.
Holy dang, the models will be walking a runway four stories high.
It looks like the finalists will be gently lowered back to the ground and the cuttees will be “dropped.” That makes no sense, but I am all in for it.
Who will stay? Who will drop? Who will fear-vomit from the height? Get ready for a harness and what should be some epic freakouts next week.
See you there.
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