NEW ZEALAND / AUSTRALIA JOURNAL #2
10/06/2016
Auckland. Day 2
On the search for some bedtime literature. Jamie studies this informal medical journal, while I check out some hot new talent. Yes friends, jet lag is a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? I don’t know whether to go for a shite or a haircut. Anyway, looking forward to playing our first NZ show in a couple of hours.
That is all.
-Bruce
NEW ZEALAND / AUSTRALIA JOURNAL #1
09/06/2016
Well that’s 25 hours of my life I won’t be getting back 11.000 miles from my house in Dunfermline to New Zealand. No wonder NASA lied about going to the moon. Neil, Buzz and Ringo must have been bored out of their skulls on that gig. At least we could get up, move around a bit and not have to soil our own clothes. Those poor buggers had to sit for days in a confined space, eat dry food then piss themselves..
Come on NASA, let’s work with gravity not against it.
-Bruce
JOURNAL 32
26/01/14
Dumfries
A wonderful Burns Night had by the band and crew in the world famous Spiegeltent. It is one of the remaining three that travel throughout Europe. Once a mobile dance hall and allegedly a house of ill repute, tonight it showcased acrobats, comedy, burlesque and what turned out to be a rock and roll circus. Simon had his first taste of haggis and loved it. Mark, on the other hand, chickened out and had the chicken.
That is all.
JOURNAL 31
02/01/14
Dunfermline
Happy New Year!
Many thanks to everyone who supported us on The Journey in 2013. As you can imagine there were many high points as well as some low points. The recording of The Journey was a pleasure. Maybe the stars were aligned or something as the chemistry was right at the time. The touring aspect was another kettle of fish. We spent 6 months on a bus touring the Western Hemisphere which is really a social experiment. Think ‘Big Brother’ on wheels. Not great when most of the band are in their mid 50’s.
2014 will take us on a new adventure. There will be no long tours, but we will still be playing frequently, playing the songs from our past with some rarities thrown in, the way we played them back then. Also, some new ones. As you know, Mike has departed and Simon has come on board. I won’t go into the gory details of ‘who killed who’ but there are 2 sides to every story. Simon is fully committed to Big Country this year. By the way, for all you Facebookers and YouTubers out there, we are not hiding Simon at the back.
The first gig in Clitheroe was a pub gig as a favour and he was moved back because he was blocking the fire exit (lol) and the Lemon Tree has a really small stage, plus the person who filmed it didn’t focus on him. That aside, the conspiracy theories have been hilarious. So anyway, let’s hope this year will be good. My resolutions are to have a convention in the summer, get more involved in this social media thing (I am not very good at it), and put together a Steeltown tour for the last part of the year.
We make no promises
That is all.
JOURNAL 30
More Memories
22/11/13
Dunfermline
Here is another picture from the attic. This is the day we got signed by Warner Bros in America. In this picture are Mo Austin, Ian Grant, Alan Edwards and Lenny Waronker.
Mo was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2003 by Paul Simon, Neil Young, and Lorne Michaels. He is known among his colleagues as the most artist-friendly executive in the music business.
He was hired as president of Reprise Records by Frank. At Reprise he was involved with such artists as Ella Fitzgerald, Sammy Davis Jr, The Kinks and, guess who?
Lenny produced recording sessions for Nancy Sinatra, The Everly Brothers, Van Dyke Parks, Randy Newman, Ry Cooder, Arlo Guthrie, Maria Muldaur, Gordon Lightfoot, Rickie Lee Jones, James Taylor, etc.
It was a privilege and a pleasure to be involved with those legendary people.
That is all.
JOURNAL 29
Memories
15/11/13
Dunfermline
Stuart, Mark and Bruce with producer Rafe McKenna
Came across a batch of old photos in the attic last night. This is from the Driving To Damascus sessions at Rockfield Wales. Tony was in isolation booth getting ready to do his bass on ‘Dive Into Me’ and that is why he is absent from picture. We had a fantastic time at Rockfield and Rafe was a great choice for producer, he certainly brought out the best in us. I hope to scan in more photos from the past and share them with you.
Happy times indeed
That is all
JOURNAL 28
Lerwick, Shetland
13/10/13
Shetland, Shetland, Shetland. So good they named it thrice.
First time on the island for Big Country and boy did we have a ball. You Shetlanders know how to party. Best Saturday night I have had in ages. The Mareel Centre was bouncing and we had a great time back at the hotel with some fantastic Shetland hospitality. You guys have a wonderful venue up there and I hope it brings work and revenue into the community. That is why this tour is really important to Big Country. We are playing in a lot of venues that are off the beaten track and I find that really satisfying, travelling the extra distance to take our music to the people of this wonderful place we call home. Check out the bulletin on the breakfast menu.
Shetland you rock.
That is all.
JOURNAL 27
Sweet Home Alhambra
11/10/13
Dunfermline, Fife
Lord I’m coming home to you, so sang the great Lynyrd Skynyrd, (pronounced and spelt Lynyrd Skynyrd, although if you do a spell check it reads Lanyard Spaniard) Anyway enough of my yakkin’, Have a swatch of these two beauties I found in the attic. What a gorgeous pair of SG’s. The wine red one has a bolt on neck, and the sunburst is a replica of my old 500 that I had in the early 80’s built by Smiggs of Kirkcaldy. The replica has a glue in neck unlike the 2000 which was straight through and needed a brass sustain bar to improve the tone. This one is built to the same spec as a Gibson Les Paul and actually sounds like one. All pickups are Seymour Duncan and the 500 has a Di Marzio at neck with single coil.
Looking forward to seeing friends at this wonderful theatre in Dunfermline on the 19th.
That is all.
JOURNAL 26
Dunfermline, Fife.
08/10/13
Thurso, Thurso, Thurso! What do I know about Thurso, well it’s the day sandwiched between Wedno and Frido. But apart from that, it is the most northerly town in the UK, and we are looking forward to starting our next journey at the top. The tour is going to take us out of the cities and into the towns the length and breadth of the country. As a band we always take the scenic route and can’t wait to take our show to these far flung places.
Now just wondering what axe to play with, this is my Antoria Junior that I found in an Aberdeen pawn shop on the last tour. As usual I have heavily modified it. All hardware was stripped off or rather fell off. I added the Bigsby tremolo arm and Strat pickup at the neck position. It also needed a refret. A few tweaks here and there and I have the ultimate punk rock guitar.
Thurso, we can’t wait
That is all.
JOURNAL 25
Dunfermline, Fife.
03/09/13
Oi! Dorothy, close your eyes and tap your desert boots together three times.
Think to yourself, “There’s no place like the toon. There’s no place like the toon.”
Yes folks, here we are back in Dunfermline after living on a bus since June. What a social experiment that was. From the desert highway to the New York subway, 5 musicians, 3 road crew, 1 swag lady, 1 crazy driver plus 4 family. Thank God I got home with my sanity intact, well apart from falling asleep on the couch. Sandra tried to wake me and I told her she was a f*ckin’ weirdo and to get out of my bunk. Isn’t time travel wonderful? Tomorrow I will switch on the hoover and get Sarah and Jamie to shake my bed.
I would like to thank Jan, Sarah, Mickey V, Ray, Will, Jules, Wee Dylan, Medium Sized Dylan and young Evan, whose smile kept us all going every morning.
Also big thanks to all behind the scenes and LHS people.
Last but not least, North America and Canada, we love you and hope to come back next year for more shows.
A small city made of metal cometh.
That is all.
JOURNAL 24
Pensacola, Florida
27/08/13
“Are we a bus?” shouts Ray upon pulling away from the truck stop. “Yes. We’re a bus.” is the usual reply, and we hit the road again. So far we’ve already left Jamie behind at a truck stop in Bum Fart, Nebraska thinking he was in his bunk sleeping which was an 8 hour round trip to get him back. Will got off the bus in Pig’s Testicle, Idaho to use the restroom and he was left behind. These mistakes are expensive and cost the band fuel, tolls, taxes and eat into the driver’s time. The simple solution is to hang your backstage pass on the steering wheel so the driver knows you are off the bus. This is one of the many problems that occur on the road.
Here is a little insight in to our world. That’s Mike leading us into another rousing chorus of 68 guns at the front. Only another 67 to go. Mark’s sitting in what’s known as the hot seat which is a bad place to be. Yes that’s last night’s stage costumes hanging up above him and the A/C is busted again. The canine shaped thing at the back performing an act of unspeakable vulgarity on Derek was almost road kill ’til he rescued him. He’s called Rodney and his bite is much worse than his bark. His farts are also rotten which explains the look of disgust on Mark’s face. Behind Jamie is our sleeping quarters. Notice the lack of modesty curtains, mattresses, pillows and comforters. The door to the right is the rest room which simply opens to the outside world, and believe me; you don’t want to take a rest there. Behind the sleeping quarters is the crew room. We don’t allow them to travel with us as we are the talent and are far superior intellectually to them. We do unchain them at truck stops but they always find their way back to the bus.
For some strange reason Jamie seems very happy in this picture. Whoever comes up with the funniest caption as to what he is thinking wins a free ticket to the Dunfermline Alhambra show in October.
That is all.
JOURNAL 23
Akron, Ohio the next day.
22/08/13
Are we not men? We are Loco. I decided to spend an extra day in Akron. Well, I had to. I was playing a show. And what are you lot laughing at? No. it’s not a flower pot or even a hat. It’s a Devo energy dome and I love it. And before you lot start typing ‘Is it Bill or Ben’ just remember that these energy domes were responsible for some of the most original music to come out of America in the late 70’s. Devo, I salute you as well as the wonderful city that is Akron.
(Just after I posted this, a kid drove past me on a moped and called me Lego Head. I hate kids, they’re weird.)
That is all.
JOURNAL 22
Akron, Ohio
21/08/13
News just in. Big Country to expand line up for next album and tour. Here we see the guys having a jam with The Rubber City Rollers. That’s Johnny ‘Two Lips Becker’ ripping it up on sousaphone while blowing his top at the back; ‘Lungs’ Lafferty makes that euphonium his own. Let’s not forget on backing vocals and triangle the amazing Rubber Jenny Brown. Sure plays a mean trombone.
Mmmmmm that’s nice
That is all
JOURNAL 21
Date: Unknown.
Location: In North America, possibly in a state.
The Dean and I.
Hum drum days and a hum drum ways. Hey kids. Let me tell you how I met your mom. So sung Kevin and Lawrence along with their 10 cubic centimetres of pure pop genius back in ’73. Well, boys. Never mind that. While you lot were loading up your rubber bullets and smooching in the dark with the Dean’s daughter, I was out there in Alcholand hanging out with the man himself. That’s right, James Dean. (Check out my picture if you don’t believe me) Although the conversation was a little flat, he told me he was most appreciative to be immortalized in their song.
He also had a soft spot for David Essex.
I better go, Ethel Merman just showed up.
That is all.
JOURNAL 20
16/08/13 (Part 2)
Belmar, New Jersey
Well, I never did manage to find “The Boss”, but I did find his Fender Esquire on the corner of 10th Avenue and E Street in Belmar. Crikey! He must have hands like tractor shovels. Weighing in at a hefty 150 pounds, this axe is massive and at eight foot in length. Bruce must have arms like a mountain gorilla. Heaven knows how he can do a 4 hour show with this beast strapped around his shoulders. Maybe he is made from titanium. Maybe he’s a superhero, a superhero called Titanium Man that protects the badlands of New Jersey with his mighty weapon. Maybe I have been on the road too long.
Bruce I love ya and New Jersey rocks.
JOURNAL 19
16/08/13 (Part 1)
Asbury Park, New Jersey
Weapon of Choice number 3
Well here we are back where we started all those months ago on the Jersey Shore. We are at the Wonderbar again which is now becoming my favourite east coast gig. The guitar in my hand is a beautiful DBZ Bolero Calavera which I rescued around a month ago in a sorry state. Mickey V has done wonders with her and she is now my latest squeeze. Behind me on the wall is the famous reproduction of the Tillie mural. Boy! What a smile. I feel so good I think I will go and search for Springsteen.
That is all.
JOURNAL 18
Landen, Ohio
11/08/13
I’m a cowboy. On a steel horse I ride. I’m wanted dead or alive. So sang New Jersey boy, Jon Bon Jovi on his 1986 hit ‘Wanted Dead or Alive’. Well Jon, as you can see below I am also a cowboy riding on a steel horse. Exhibit A is the wonderful cowboy hat which fits me like a hat, and as for the steel horse check out Exhibit B. A beautiful vintage Ford Ferguson 8N tractor. That’s right: The one with the 4 speed transmission and position control for the hydraulics. Boy! This baby sure is a smooth ride. I simply unhook it from the bus and trundle off down to Walmart for the day’s supplies. I do get some strange looks from the locals. But hey! I’m a guy that gets things done.
Keep on trucking.
That is all.
JOURNAL 17
Strawberry Fields, Central Park West, Manhattan, New York.
06/08/13
We caught the train from Harrison and got off at the World Trade Center. I made this journey in 2006 with Derek and the ‘Four Good Men’. At that time it was out of bounds and flat, but now towering in the sky is the Freedom Tower. She looks magnificent. It is a strange feeling as basically you are visiting a construction site as well as a memorial. I feel like an intruder in this on-going work.
The subway beckons and we disembark at Times Square, walk up past the ‘other’ Carnegie Hall and onwards to Central Park. I take Jamie and Sarah to the Dakota building and stand at the entrance. It feels strange, almost like when I stood on the grassy knoll weeks ago.
We head over the Hudson to Hoboken for a bite to eat then end up at base camp in Secaucus. The good bus ‘Endurance’ is gleaming under the moonlight. She has been cleaned from head to toe. Ray has had the linen changed and she smells like a thousand red roses. Sod it! Break out the Yuengling. I am staying at my good friend John’s’. There’s a Rocky movie on.
That is all
JOURNAL 16
Niagara Falls. Canada.
03/08/13
Gee, but it’s great to be back home. Home is where I want to be. I’ve been on the road so long my friend……. So sung Paul Simon on his legendary hit ‘Keep The Customer Satisfied’
Well Paul, at the risk of sounding like a right Garfunkel, I am not back home nor am I satisfied.
One month to go before the end of the tour. Apollo 13 has been behaving herself and Ray our new astronaut is steering us safely all the way. Niagara, what can I say? You may have a couple of large waterfalls but as for the rest of you, well Blackpool on a wet Tuesday springs to mind.
I went for an Indian meal alfresco (Canadian for eating in the rain). I asked the waiter for a vindaloo and he looked at me like I was Helen Reddy. ‘Too hot’ he warned me. I replied that being Scottish, it was our national dish and that all our food is founded on a bet anyway. He kept checking on me every 5 minutes to make sure I wasn’t overheating.
Not sure where the children are tonight, probably looking at the illuminations. Jamie is so desperate to get home that he tried to throw a sickie by saying he was coming down with a touch of legionnaire’s disease from the maid of the mist journey at the waterfall.
As you can see Derek is now beginning to feel the strain. Canada I love you.
That is all.
JOURNAL 15
Manchester, New Hampshire
28/07/13
Pull my finger.
Yes, I know that’s an ancient gag that old people do with their grandchildren, but spare a thought for poor Will. He actually decapitated the top of his finger of on the tour bus door. To ease the pain he went to a tattoo convention and got the name of his elderly Aunt Betty inked onto his knuckles. Unfortunately, due to his Welsh accent and the tattooist being dyslexic you can see the result above. Needless to say, Betty did see the funny side and promised to give him a right good smacker on the lips when he gets home.
That is all.
JOURNAL 14
Place: Don’t know
Date: Don’t care
It’s just over half way through the North American tour. Derek, Mike and Will are in their bunks and the children are in a hotel room. Mark has abandoned ship to stay with John in New Jersey. Let’s hope John doesn’t shoot him accidentally as he tinkers with his car. All is quiet on the good bus Titanic apart from a distant snore and the sound of a lonely fart wafting through the Alaskan Highway. Watching 24 on TV but after 3 episodes I can’t make out what Kiefer Sutherland is saying. Maybe he needs to take lessons from Christian Bale.
Missing home, missing my wife, my son and cat. Missing the strawberries and onions that I planted months ago. Missing the guys from the dockyard too. Bet that hunk of steel looks ship shape and seaworthy now. Man, I am either homesick or I got a goddamn case of the blues.
Here is a picture of my accommodation. Cougars keep out.
That is all.
JOURNAL 13
Mickey V and Me
Carlisle, Pennsylvania
24/07/13
Well, you don’t see that every day. Whilst buying tools from The Home Depot I witnessed an Amish guy buying a Black and Decker power drill. And I thought those guys did everything by hand. Maybe he was doing a homer or maybe he was just downright lazy.
Anyway, I would like to introduce you to the amazing Mickey V, my guitar tech and breakfast buddy. Now as you can see Mickey is no Amish guy, in fact he’s never even bought a single product from Amway in his life. Here he is with me and my road worn Fret King Éclat after working hard on it all afternoon. He modifies all my guitars on this tour. First of all he took the P90 out of the neck cavity. I re-rimmed the holes in the pickup cover (by hand, no power tools) to accommodate the Strat pickup which came out of the red guitar. I then sealed it in with RTV silicone. The license plate came from a cereal box and the pressure gauge switch cover was prized from and old fire engine in a junk yard back in the Redwoods. Thanks to Mark for scavenging.
Mickey’s adventures in Happy Hour Land will be coming to a blog near you soon.
That is all.
JOURNAL 12
16/7/2013
Four Winds Casino on the shore of Lake Michigan, New Buffalo.
Star Date 21/07/13
The Romulans have taken over the………………………………hey wait a minute. I’m in the middle of a Vulcan nightmare.
The casino is massive. The food is obscene and I have never seen so many one legged people in one room, what are they doing, selling of their legs to pay gambling debts.
The show was held in the Hard Rock Café and it was very emotional seeing Stuart’s Moon guitar on the wall. It did initially remind me of happy times as it was made during the recording of The Seer album back in 85/86. But seeing the guitar close up, it looked like an empty shell. It was a bit beaten up and weather checked. The nut was broken. The strings and machine heads were old and rusted and the frets were so badly worn I don’t think you would be able to coax a note out of it. Shame really as it was a fantastic guitar back in the day. It now resides high up on the wall next to Paul McCartney’s guitar.
That is all.
JOURNAL 11
16/7/2013
Little Rock, Arkansas
Well, I thought Austin was weird but how about this, land lubber? The good bus Titanic II limped heroically into the parking lot. Captain Jan and I were talking about mooring there the night before and the only connection we had with the town was the infamous pirate lover, ‘Connie from Little Rock’. Anyway, as I walked down the gangplank, I saw this elderly woman hobble towards me. This was no mermaid or siren I can tell you. Scared, I made a hasty retreat back to the ship but she got me in a pincer movement and tortured me for group information. I told her we were just a bunch of lost mariners stranded far from home but she sussed that we were a tour bus. She then introduced herself as Connie, the groupie from Little Rock. Shaken, I immediately piped myself back aboard and called Captain Jan. He came out and said hello, shook her hand and asked how she was. It had been around 20 years since their last encounter and after enquiring about her wellbeing she enquired, “Did I blow you?” To which Captain Jan replied “he couldn’t remember”.
As I have no photographic evidence of this encounter, here is a picture taken by a hobo on LSD of me playing Roy Orbison’s guitar outside RCA Victor studios in Music Row, Nashville.
Rock ‘n’ Roll is afloat (just)
That is all.
JOURNAL 10
14/07/13
Dealey Plaza
Dallas, Texas
Texas. What a state to be in!
Well boys and girls, we survived the 45 hour journey form Aspen to Houston in 104 degrees heat and arrived exactly 30 minutes before show time. The support band loaned us their drum set and there are now no fat people on the bus.
Houston, you were fabulous. Austin, ditto. Dallas was a blast. The A/C people came down and did their repairs on the bus so at least we are not sweating like ladies of the night in a house of ill repute.
Everything’s bigger and better in Texas, and don’t get me started on the size of those food portions either. The waste product coming from my nether region is so big I was thinking of selling it to the Royal Navy so they could send it oversees as a task force.
Houston was the hottest and sweatiest. Dallas was great for the historical importance and head wound thing, but Austin was by far the funniest. I was watching a band in the club next door to the Belmont when a guy wanders in dressed as a panda. He shimmied across the dance floor and started hitting on some good looking big girl. For some strange reason, the front of house engineer took exception to this and ran across the floor and punched him square in the face. The panda guy retaliated and as the two of them rolled about the floor tearing lumps out of each other, the band played on. As I retired to the bus I was accosted by a heavy set Texan broad dressed as the statue of liberty and her boyfriend who demanded that we drive the bus to Motherwell, Scotland.
Austin, you’re my kind of town.
That is all.
JOURNAL 9
12/07/13
Just outside Quanah, Texas
Houston, we have a problem.
Well, it’s 104 degrees aboard Apollo 18 today. We are on a long journey from Aspen, Colorado to Houston, Texas and the heat in this tin can is unbearable. To make matters worse, we nearly got hit by a bloody crop duster just outside of Childress. It was so close that Ray, our new driver, discovered that farts have lumps. Both toilet and AC units have blown. The heat and smell is unbearable and we now resemble the cast of ‘Ain’t Half Hot Mum’ with Derek excelling in the role of Lofty. Because of these problems, our journey to Houston has been put in jeopardy. Our ETA is 20.00 hours and our onstage time is 23.00 hours. We may have to drive to Dallas and abandon the command module, rent a new smaller module and drive like the wind to make show time. This plan is doable as long as the supporting artists lend us their drum kit. Let’s hope they are not a Lawrence Welk tribute act.
That is all.
JOURNAL 8
05/07/13
On the Queen Elizabeth II Highway from Calgary to Edmonton
Canada
Just thought I would share this picture of my effect pedals for all the tech heads who have requested the lowdown.
As I had to travel light I had to ditch my MXR Pitch Transposer and Line 6 delay rack unit/pedal board system and come up with something new. After trawling the local music shops the solution came from Guitar Guitar in the shape of a TC Nova multi effects unit. The Nova has all the delay and harmonizing settings I need and has enough storage space for my programmed patches. The unit took a bit of time to learn but after a few hours it became very familiar, the only drawback that I had was that it took too long to move up the banks (approximately 1 sec) which seems like 10 seconds when you are playing a live set. I overcame this by ripping the Midi buddy form my old setup and MIDI’d it up to the Nova. Now I have instant patch changing. The on-board tuner is sufficient but because my eyesight is bad I decided to buy a stand-alone TC poly tuner which has a better display. All this was carried across the Atlantic as hand luggage and unlike my guitar arrived safe and sound. The first thing I had to do was mount all this shit onto a footboard. I found a sheet of high grade marine plywood lying behind a skip next to our hotel at Newark Airport, Mickey V then purchased a hand saw and proceeded to cut the ply to the appropriate size. The board was then painted matt black and day glo tape was added to the edges whilst the paint was still tacky. A few layers of gloss added the final protection, then the units were attached using Velcro technology. At each corner you will notice the anti-Mike Peters tank traps. These large hoops basically stop our wandering singer from standing on my unit and changing my presets. It was either that or bamboo spikes covered in monkey shit but he drew the line at that.
That is all.
JOURNAL 7
01/07/13
What does a bear do in the woods?
Myers Flat,Humboldt County (in the shade of the giant sequoias)
Does a bear shit in the woods? Yes he bloody does, and how do I know? Well I just stood in one. A big pile of shit that I’ll never forget. I’ve been in Big Country for 30 odd years so I know a lot about shit. Christ! I should have been a plumber, Hell! I know more about shit than Davy Broon and he knows a shitload about shit.
I’m sitting in a café in Red Crest, 34 miles south of Eureka in the Avenue of the Giants and I am looking for Big Foot. Unfortunately the only wildlife I can see at the moment is a road weary rock band and a couple of manky raccoons.
The Sequoia trees in front of me are indeed giants, 350 feet in height and over 2000 years old. These trees are so wide; tunnels have been carved in them so you can drive through them.
Jan and I hitched a ride on the back of a pickup truck to witness this marvellous site. Meanwhile back at the campsite Jamie and Mickey V are preparing their latest gastronomical experiment for the BBQ. Road kill Kebabs again
All in all a great day, I never did see Big Foot but I most definitely stood in his shit.
That is all.
JOURNAL 6
30/06/13
Weapons of Choice USA Part 1
Like I said in an earlier blog, my Fret King yellow guitar had the bridge damaged en route from UK to USA, basically the wrap around bridge had been hit and one of the retaining bolts came loose and got lost. This resulted in the bridge coming away from the body and rendering it unplayable. Tone Pros were kind enough to send me a new bridge free of charge but it wouldn’t arrive for a week. I used Mickey V’s (guitar tech) strat which only had one pickup up working for first few shows which got us through but because the neck pickup didn’t work I couldn’t use the ebow so The Storm and Hail & Farewell suffered because of this.
So anyway, let me introduce you to the red guitar.
The red guitar cost me $149 in Sam Ash’s music store, as we had limited funds because it was our first week on the road I was worried about paying any more than $700 for a decent guitar. I made my way to the used section and came across it lurking in the background, Born in Japan in 1986. Squier guitars from that period are famous for being extremely well made and as good as, if not better than the USA models. This model’s neck reminded me of my green 61 Strat that I got during the Peace In Our Time album. The guitar felt that it had only been used by a bedroom player as all the frets were in good condition, a few dings and scratches on the body were also evident. There is no scratch plate and the configuration is humbucker at bridge and 2 single coils in mid and neck position. The guitar has a floating classic Strat tremelo and 3 mini switches for changing pickups. I immediately saw the potential in the guitar and went about doing my usual customisation. Due to being in America we usually get a lot of interference coming through the amps at venues. This is due to the lighting in buildings and different voltage. I found an EMG active single coil in Leesburg for $33 and my good pal Tom gave me another EMG humbucker out of his old Ibanez.
I ripped out the 3 mini switches as I found them confusing and filled the holes with 8 ball valve caps from an auto parts store. I then had the tone control removed and inserted a Gibson style toggle switch to control the pickups. I don’t use middle position pickup so that was removed and the cavity was covered over by an Altoids peppermint tin lid. The tremolo unit was floating but as I don’t use a tremolo, I screwed the springs up tight and turned it into a hard tail. The machine heads are fine and just needed a little tightening up. To finish the custom job I added a decal of a rose again from an auto parts store. Needless to say the guitar saved my bacon and sounds fantastic.
More on effects and backline soon
That is all.
JOURNAL 5
28/06/13
Plectrums and Poker Chips
Well you may think that the boys in plaid have been taking it easy over the past few days but nothing can be further from the truth. Jamie, Derek and Bruce have been as busy doing an Ocean’s Eleven all through the state of Nevada.
Lake Tahoe, Reno and Vegas were all taken to the cleaners by the ‘Devils in skirts’, and boy did they come up trumps. Both Bruce and Derek got heavily involved in a Mexican domino ring and ended up beating Johnny Gringo ‘The Domino Kid’ in a grudge match that very nearly drew blood. Jamie on the other hand got roped into a crap game that was so crap he won 100 bucks. All in all a vast amount was taken in by Sir Derek of Forbes and his merry men in a game that was most definitely crap for the casinos but very lucrative for the check shirt brigade.
Because of this windfall the boys will be handing out poker chips instead of plectrums at the end of the show
That is all.
JOURNAL 4
19/06/13
On tour bus driving through Mohawk Valley en route to Yuma.
‘En Route’, 2 groovy French words meaning ‘on or along the way’.
Derek’s on the road again wearing different clothes again, so sung Manfred Mann and his amazing earth band back in the 70’s. Well here’s another song. ‘Don’t go down to Tuba city baby, they got 2 time zones and no beer’. Have I got the blues, you’re damn right.
Ok Boys and girls we are coming to the end of week 2 and the journey continues, we have cut the umbilical cord from the bus and are out on our own for the next 2 days. First stop is Durango where we couldn’t find the kid but we did rent a Ford Econoline.
First stop is Four Corners Monument where you can be in Utah, New Mexico, Colorado and Arizona all at the one time. Jamie is no stranger to this sensation as he is used to being in a few states all in one day.
We drive west on the 160 briefly stopping at Baby Rocks to shoot a video for ‘In A Broken Promise Land’ then head north for Monument Valley, where the earth meets the sky. Home of the Navajo and in the words of the great John Wayne ‘God’s treasure’.
It’s hot, it’s sticky and my scrotum is painfully trapped between my buttocks and perineum. I desperately need to get of the Econoline and adjust myself. We have all seen the pictures of Monument Valley a thousand times but you have to be there in person to witness the panorama.
It’s getting late so we head back on the road, destination Tuba City Arizona. We arrived at the hotel around 21.00 hours yet when I walked over the street to the truck stop it was nearly 22.00 hours. Arizona does not observe Daylight Time, though the Navajo reservation does. In practice the town is a bit varied on this time zone thing, tribal offices and schools observe daylight savings time while most businesses do not. This is a fantastic excuse for being late for the bus next morning.
I ask the big guy behind the counter with the Mohawk where I can get a beer. He tells me it is not allowed in town and if we are caught drinking alcohol then we are likely to be thrown in jail for the night.
Sod it; I’ll go to Denny’s
That is all.
JOURNAL 3
13/06/13
On tour bus driving through Kansas City
Well, boys & girls that’s the first week of the US tour in the can, and what a week it’s been. We landed at Newark and were met by our good friend John as well as Mickey and Jan (our new crew). The bus is fully stocked and we’re ready to roll. We have no day to acclimatise and have two shows in one day. First show is in Philadelphia in the afternoon, the second is the Wunderbar in Asbury Park.
The baggage handlers have been unkind to the guitarists. The bridge on my yellow fret king has been bent out of shape and is unusable. Jamie’s pickups have been bashed in, but are repairable. Had to play Philly show with bust guitar and used Mickey’s Strat with one working pickup for Asbury Park. Not ideal but the only other option would have been a washboard with a fuzz box. A quick visit to Sam Ash’s music store the next day unearthed a hidden treasure. $149 lighter, I came out with a fire engine red 1986 Japanese Squire. The guitar is a beauty and will certainly get me through the tour. Big thanks to Tom Kercheval for finding me EMG pickups in Leesburg.
Got chatted up by one of those cougars again, the last time this happened was in Manchester on the UK tour. Not sure what these older women see in me, I’m 52 with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, but it’s good to know that I still appeal to the fairer sex. The fact that she had a white stick and was licking double glazing at the time still counts in my book.
The Scottish contingent has now succumbed to bearing their milky white legs; Derek, Jamie and I are now bright red, with no trace of our blue complexion left. Yes the Scotsman abroad is alive and peeling.
We are taking no hotels on this tour apart from a day room each day for showers and so on. We park up near Walmart each day and get the supplies in, then fire the barbeque up. Both Jan and Mickey are experts at this and what they can do with a top sirloin is no one’s business.
Jamie and Mark spend so much time in these Walmarts and are now fully paid up members of the Walmartian club.
First purchase of the week was a blender, which Mike put to good use by making us his world famous ‘strawberry surprise, A cunning blend of blueberry, banana and cranberry certainly packed a punch but the cranberries were so tarte my underpants got sucked so far up my ass I thought I had been wedgied by a greengrocer from Rhyl. He is now known as Smooth Operator Mike.
We are now in the middle of a Journey from Indianapolis Indiana to Topeka Kansas, The pants are off and the dominoes are on the table.
That is all
JOURNAL 2
(somewhere in Germany…..)
Woke up this morning and my dog was dead, someone had shot him right through the head. Thats a lie, I don’t have a dog, and I live on a tour bus, Why the heck would I have a dog on a tour bus? Where would it sleep? Don’t answer that, What a beautiful morning it is here in Mannheim. The sun is streaming through the windows and the musty smell of rotting stage clothes is wafting through the upstairs corridor. The febreeze is running out and we are getting desperate. Oh the horror!
Welcome back to the second installment of Watson’s Away Day. this is week number two and we are having a ball. Mark has now got his packing down to a fine art in preparation for the American tour. One flight bag containing passport, body wash and baby wipes. Apart from jacket, jeans and shoes all clothing is disposable. It’s a flawless plan and the customs man doesn’t have to get intimate with him.
Today we got pulled by the cops on the autobahn. They did a random check of the bus and decided that the brakes on the trailer were faulty, they weren’t but Dirk got fined 600 euros and we had to wait 2 hours for the bus company to deliver a new trailer.
Jamie is getting used the the pedal situation now and only swore at it twice.
I discovered a really rare 1983 Gibson Spirit guitar today and bought it. It’s a cracking guitar and hopefully Mark my guitar tech will have it set up for the next show.
Both Derek and I purchased pocket watches from an antique store. My timepiece cost 10 euros and a further 8 to get battery fitted whilst Derek’s is over 100 years old and cost 600. Needless to say one of them tells perfect time.
Mike’s nephew Will is now working for the band setting up Mark and Derek’s gear, he is a lovely lad but his diet leaves a lot to be desired. He is only 19 and his daily 5 a day consists off chicken nuggets and jammy dodgers.
This is OK at his age but if he continues like this into later life then I am afraid he may have to visit Doctor Proctor with the fleischwurst fingers.
That is all
Thanks,
Bruce Watson
Journal 1
Date 17/05/13
Bochum Germany
Roll up Roll up, the greatest show on earth is coming.
Scream in terror as the Kaleidoscope Kid reduces The Eclipse to a quivering wreck with his magic axe.
Watch in amazement as the Mighty Quill conjures up thunder then lays down the law.
Be scared shitless as Dr Octoban rides the wall of death with The Flying Scotsman strapped to his back.
Of course life on the road’s not really like that, is it, but it did grab your attention.
Well, that’s us into the first leg of the European tour and what a tour it’s been so far. It’s been ‘full on’ since last week, what with travelling up and down to London in order to visit the American embassy for visas. (Yes they let us in).
This is our first day off so I thought I would let you guys know how we are doing.
We are travelling by bus with eleven people on board. Its 09.30 am and everyone is asleep. The bus looks like it’s been involved in a huge motorway pile up with bags, clothes and bottles strewn over the tables and floor. This is normal, this is touring. This is what I call camping on wheels. Today we have been joined by Jenny who works for the promoter. She is a lovely lady so swear words and excessive farting has been kept to a minimum. The piss tank on bus is nearly full so Dirk our German driver has pinned a notice on the toilet door which reads “Ladies only, we only have limited pee storage, men please use outside”.
Ablution time usually starts around 10.30 am. The usual procedure is to find the nearest hotel, walk in confidently as if you are a guest, find the toilets, then casually walk in with baby wipes hidden under arm.
Mark has this down to a fine art and usually manages to get a full continental breakfast thrown in.
Mike has been really busy with the day to day running of the band and is so proactive that the rest of the entourage have nick named him Yakult.
I have also been busy programming two TC Nova delay pedals for Jamie and I. Jamie has never used a unit like this before and the first night he did, all I could hear was him shouting “fuck off” at it. He kept getting the patch numbers wrong which triggered off loads of weird and wonderful noises. I told him that shouting fuck off to the equipment wouldn’t make it work any better.
Derek has been wearing the kilt and military jackets on stage every night. The jackets are heavy duty and he keeps them on for the full concert in order to lose weight. His weight plan is working and after 4 days on the road there has been a noticeable difference. He is now fading away to a horse.
That is all.
Thanks,
Bruce Watson