The Best and Worst Dressed from the Week Ending February 28, 2014…
On this week’s B&B things got a little CRAZY… between QuayQuay Quinn and the Aly-venger, we have some interesting times ahead! Unfortunately, the fashion’s didn’t always prove as interesting!
We are, however, debuting something new to help our readers follow our ratings! Here’s how it all breaks down:
If we rate something BOLD, it’s because it was a real fashion RISK and deserving of special acknowledgement by all!
If we rate something BEAUTIFUL, it’s because it was a gorgeous piece of fashion and the wearer looked great in it! GO B&B Style Department!
If we rate something BUSTED, it’s because it was a CRIME against fashion and an embarrassment to all who saw it! THIS is when STYLE-SHAMING begins and we will GLADLY throw the first stone! If you think us BULLYING… then remember, it’s FOR THEIR OWN GOOD! They’ll never change or grow if someone doesn’t TELL them they made a mistake! We’re not here to simply insult, but to ENLIGHTEN, ENTERTAIN, and CORRECT! We TRY to leave biases at the door when we discuss style… Otherwise EVERY Lowgan would ALWAYS get busted!! LOL.
We’ll also be adding a new rating:
If we rate something BLAH, it’s because it was BORING and the wearer–AND chooser–should know they put us to SLEEP! This usually means… It wasn’t good, bad, or ugly… It was just CLOTHES! I know… how embarrassing on a fashion-based soap! BUT under certain circumstances, it’s not even an insult or a dig! Just facts!
Now that you know the lingo, let’s get on with the show! This week, some looks left us in LOVE, a few reminded of our old LUSTS, and THEN there were the ones who had us at a LOSS! It’s time again for Team Steffy 2.0′s the Bold, the Beautiful and the Busted fashion review!
Okay, so we’ll kick of our week similarly to the way we began last week’s special review… We’re taking about Kari!
Unfortunately, Katie didn’t make nearly the splash in her casual wear choices as she did in formal wear, but it wasn’t so bad… Following her hospital stay, Kardiac Katie slipped into jeans and tee. The most we can say about the look is it fit pretty well and the shirt had this detailing that consisted of tiny round mirrors–or so it appeared–or maybe they were huge sequins… When that’s the most we can debate over for an outfit, you should know what’s coming…
Kardiac Katie: BLAH
Her potential paramour, Ridge, fared only SLIGHTLY better. Removing the tie helped his look WONDERS! But only by making him look sexy and rakish… Didn’t do much overall for his fashion although it seemed more his STYLE! And so it is with a heavy heart we find it’s time to rate the designer…
NuRidge: BLAH
Speaking of Ridge, who was STILL wearing the same clothes, back at Forrester, ErWeak hadn’t changed either! So we’ll give him a pass this week… HOWEVER, he DID have some very fashionable company! We’ll start with Aunt Pammy Douglas!
Now, Aunt Pammy is ALWAYS uniquely herself and you just never know what to expect from a Douglas woman! THIS TIME is no different! She took a very vintage look with the boxy sweater and the heavily pleated A-line skirt and threw a lot of interesting colors and patterns at it and really owned her 1950s-inspired style! We don’t feel her color choice worked perfectly with her hair and skin, but we applaud the way she’s really begun stepping outside of her box to make a really unique mark on her wardrobe and the show! She’s no longer the vintage Donna Stewart clone who came on our screens completely dependent on her mother—even if the hair and pearls remain! She’s her own woman and it shows in her clothes! For that and so much more, it’s OBVIOUS that…
Aunt Pammy: BOLD
Now, ErWeak’s OTHER companion at FC was a REAL sight for sore eyes and we LOVED every second AND WISHED is was for longer! With that said, we would like to extend a WELCOME HOME to LA to the EVER-EXQUISITE, Dr. Taylor Hayes!
Doesn’t she just look FANTASTIC? Not a hair out of place, the simple but elegant make-up, and that DRESS!! I swear she’s been stealing style queues from the INCOMPARABLE Jackie O! That HUNTER–lol–green, knee-length sheath was vintage first lady CHIC with just the right twist of modern from the hidden zipper to the double-flapped, modified shawl collar! GAWD, to have BRHOOKER dress with just an IOTA of this kind of style and elegance… is clearly a fantasy and why we absolute adore Mother Taylor and need her BACK on our screens ASAP!
Mother Taylor: BEAUTIFUL
Back in Paris, another old friend was dealing with the same issue that had monopolized Mother Taylor, ErWeak, and Aunt Pammy’s conversations! Thorne is having an INTERESTING week! He’s been pulled out of the basement and is finding success running International in gay Paris… On the upside, he’s not alone! Unfortunately, he’s got his daughter’s issues to contend with! SO next up for review are the Forresters Paris: Thomas, Thorne and Aly.
We’ll start with Thomas… It has been SOOO LONG since last we got to enjoy the sexy brilliance of one Thomas Forrester on our screens. So let’s all take a moment here to BASK:
We just love him to pieces and bet those Parisian beauties do, too! But don’t get too attached, ladies! We expect him back and sooner than later! Much like his father, Thomas has decided to go with some facial hair mixed with that signature tuft of grey, which gave his overall POLISHED appearance an edginess that is just PERFECT for a young hot designer and fashion professional! And no one could miss that gleam of happiness and remarkable grin! Dayum you, you Parisian girls! We saw him first… but you better keep him happy or else! LOL. All in all, we’ve seen it all before… yet he makes it brand new for us every time! Now HIS is the male closet every guy on this show should be vying for! No one else has the eye to pair that gorgeous, grey suit with the plum shirt, and the black & white plaid tie! WHY is he not having a MANDATORY minimum weekly shirtless/sex scene on this show! It SHOULD have been in the contract from CBS as part of the terms for renewal!
Tasty Thomas: BOLD and BEAUTIFUL
Next up in our Parisian parade of Forresters is Thorne… We gotta say, success looks GOOD on this guy! We’d almost forgotten what a hottie Ridge’s younger brother could be… ALMOST–THANKS to Windsor Harmon for keepin’ it right and tight and baring it on TWITTER!–but he sure knows how to rock a power suit right!
He looked excellent in this black and white, three-button, single-breasted suit! It was simple, but effective! And DAYUM, if we didn’t think we think we could see our OWN reflections in his shiny shoes, even through the TV! And that tie was such a great addition! It was a slam DUNK of a look and proved that monochromatic does NOT have to mean BORING! [Take NOTES, CARTER!]
Thorne: BEAUTIFUL
This brings us to the other half of the equation with little Alexandria Forrester!
So this week saw a BIG deviation (revelation?) in Aly’s character, and in her new style! While Quinn may have set her on the path, the influence of her elegant grandmother, Stephanie Forrester, was clear in not only her bold behavior, but her beautiful dress! Turns out not only was she taking on Wascal WHYatt, this week, but Magnificent Mother Taylor from a fashion perspective! The shoes, a simple elegant pump, paired with the two-toned, plum-and-navy, knee-length, boatneck sheath are the height of Parisian grace! The delicate necklace and simple bracelet were a perfect detail that gave a hint of character without detracting an ounce from the high style and professionalism of the look. Take notes, Hopeless… THIS is what a young lady with an ounce of class–if not much sanity–dresses like… and, well, Hopeless has always been missing her share of screws anyway, so she can’t much talk about the state of someone else’s sanity… I mean, we remember her popping pills or swearing she was ROOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD! Just saying!
AlyCat: BEAUTIFUL
Before we get to the duo (plus one) headed for Paris… We wanna address the Fuller-Spencer family!
It is beyond CLEAR to us now that WHYatt is DEFINITELY Quazy Quinn and Bull’s son–if by FASHION DNA alone! I mean, between them their clothes almost NEVER CHANGE! Thank GAWD for Lame-O’s mother being a MODEL because for good or for ill, the man knows how to change things up!
WHY do we say that you ask? LOOK at the evidence!
First, you have the Bull who has been wearing that same bunch of button ups and sweaters since his arrival in 2009! GIVE US A BREAK!! This week, he pulled that old villain suit off of WHYatt after the non-wedding and showed him how it’s done… The delicious yet deluded dummy may look yummy in it, but he’s still acting like a waste of space trailing after LOWgan tail! Which means he looked even YUMMIER in it years ago when he wore it because he wasn’t a complete LOWgan DUPE!
Then, you have QuayQuay Quinn in that SAME geometric, asymmetrical dress we’ve seen her in like a MILLION times already…
I mean, she hasn’t even been on the show that long and she already has a signature dress! It took YEARS for Stephanie to make that pantsuit her signature… Solution: GET QUAYQUAY SOME DAMN CLOTHES, WARDROBE DEPARTMENT! Even lower middle class people don’t repeat clothes quite this often! Considering in a month’s time, we only get about a week or so worth of wardrobe MAX–if that!–she’s worn that dress an equivalent of about twice a week for a month in REAL time!! You guys in wardrobe have GOTTA remember the STC(soap time continuum) when dressing these characters!!
And then you have WHYatt, who immediately jumped back into OLIVER’S hand-me-downs–YEP I SAID IT! And HOW SAD is that! No tea, no shade to Oli, but he DOES NOT have the hand-me-downs you WANT on a show about FASHION! Just sayin’! #sorry #notsorry–at the speed of light!
I begin to wonder if it isn’t the combination of constant ego-stroking, not having slept with the BrHooker, and OLI-wear that is such a turn-on to Dopey… I mean, it’s like the best of both brothers… I mean, worlds! She gets to screw the SLEAZY version of Oliver without memories of him screwing her mother!
Wait… What did we say?! #sorry #notsorry
Lame-O gets a BLAH this week because he clearly had on his “chillin’ at home” gear and no intention of making a statement… Jeans and a tee is perfectly acceptable and expected under the circumstances, and we know he’ll give us something to talk about soon ‘cuz he ALWAYS does… From grampa/Giles-chic to motorcycle cool and quite a few stops in between, Lame-O’s style is in constant flux… MUCH like the state of the character’s heart! Just saying!
Next week, Charlie may have to watch his back ‘cuz LAME-O may decide that he, Dopey and Steffy were just OBSTACLES to his and Pammy’s epic LUV! Can someone get this guy a STORY?! How about he goes to visit his adorable brother, WILL, and it reminds him of he and Steffy babysitting and he thinks about how Aspen should be here by now and FINALLY begins to GRIEVE HIS LOST CHILD!!!! DAYUM, BELL! Everything that happens to the guy doesn’t HAVE to be about where he’ll dip his wick NEXT to be interesting!
Ooops, sorry (not sorry)! We digress… that was off-topic! BACK to fashion!
That finally brings us to the HFTF LOWgans loose in Paris: BrHooker and Hopeless… Where to start with these two?! I guess we’ll go with the old adage “Age before beauty” and start with the Chaperone herself: Brooke!
After Kardiac Katie faked her way out of the NuBridge Wedding That Wasn’t… Brooke chose this week’s favorite go-to of jeans and a tee. Eh! It was fine! No complaints or compliments.
However, say what you want about the old CRUSTY crotch cozy, but she makes some BOLD choices in life AND in fashion… Her Paris look was no different! The highwaisted navy blue pencil skirt was actually an excellent choice and VERY fashionable when paired with that edgy, piecy grey shell… We were all ready to grit our teeth and mark her as bold and… Ugh, we just threw up in our mouths a little… hold on, let us try again… we were gonna rate it as bold and… AH! Can’t do it! We just… We’ll work on it in case she gets it right in the near future, but THANK the fashion GAWDS she ruined that fashionable business look with the most HIDEOUS, MATRONLY old shimmery heather grey wool blazer with black accents she could find! I mean, WHAT was she THINKING?! That thing looked like some old horse blanket–LOL– that she decided to recycle into a jacket with glitter and strips of black cloth! Guess SOMEONE’S missing her Stallion! LOL.
Come on, Brhooker! You can and HAVE done better! As much as we will CHOKE on our tongues if you do, our bleeding eyes will THANK YOU!! LOL. Well, maybe not THANK YOU, since you’re responsible for a WHOLE HELLUVA lot of emotional and mental scarring from your escapades, but maybe we can loathe you a bit less for a few seconds!
BrHooker: BOLD and BUSTED
That brings us to the last and CERTAINLY LEAST, the Hopeless BLUNDER! Dopey, Dopey, Dopey! And they WONDER why we call her such inspired names as Dopey and HOPELESS?! She started the week off not so badly with a decent look in that white polka dot blouse, black slacks, and red velvet jacket! We thought maybe she was catching a clue!
But by week’s end, she was back to her old tricks in this HORRIBLY bad Barbie’s NIGHTMARE CLOSET-inspired atrocity!
GIRL, we KNOW you idolize Barbie and PROBABLY wanna grow up to be JUST as talented and FABULOUS! Heck, we did, too, but COME ON! We KNOW Barbie can dress better than this, but you CLEARLY seem focused on her MISSES instead of her hits!
WHAT ON GAWD’S BLUE AND GREEN EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU AND THAT DAYUM WARDROBE DEPARTMENT?! SERIOUSLY!!!!
We get it! You love your Barbies and you’re the latest in a LONG, OPEN line of EASY ACCESS HOgan HARLOTS! You didn’t need to advertise, GIRL! I know a LOT of fellow TRAMPS musta been JEALOUS and making a BEELINE for the HFTF racks after seeing that TINY, TACKY, Pepto Bismal pink POLYESTER skirt with the FUGLY black zipper up the side! ARE YOU FOR REAL?! And to have the NERVE… the unmitigated GALL to try and wear that during “pret-a-porter” week in Paris! [FYI: That’s Fashion Week for “Ready-to-Wear” lines.] You would be LAUGHED OUT of ANY SHOWING–even your OWN–and CLOWNED the world over for that crap! And then to pair it with that beaded “prison-chic” top obviously worn in solidarity for your jailbird daddy and criminal boytoy!
Ah LAWD! Your mama musta dropped you head first into the toy box SO many times for this to be what you would put on your body as a grown little girl… ON PURPOSE! We just… I mean… How… Why… LAWD, this show has fallen fast and furious, when even WE’RE speechless! HEY! That’s IT! She must think she’s doing a Barbie commercial…
Hey, kids! Do you wanna grow up to be a blonde airhead with fame, but no actual morals or values or SENSE? We mean a real bimbo who’d throw away a full scholarship to college for fame and the love of a man who can’t tell the difference between you and your mother during sex! Then you need HFTF’s all new HOHOHOpe Hogan doll! She comes with a horrible wardrobe, a room at her slutty mother’s house, and says great sayings like: “My name is Hope Lowgan. I have morals and values, but I don’t live by any of them!” “We were ROBBED!” “Get an ANNULMENT!” “The way you love me isn’t good enough!” “It’s Steffy’s fault!” and many more!
Batteries and WascalWyatt, the criminal like her father who dresses like her first love, and LameLiam, the bored one who used to be interested and interesting, are the battling Spencer brothers who are too STUPID to realize that she doesn’t love anyone but herself, sold separately!
What did we say? It could happen! You know it’s true! Don’t frown; it gives you wrinkles! LOL. Anyway, in conclusion, Tay and Aly wore it best and the LOWgans lived down to or below expectations! Just about everybody else–not named Douglas or Forrester… phoned it in!
Until next week, we wish you love, laughter and loyalty always!
Team Steffy 2.0 Admins