One Month. 33 courageous souls. Baring their truth about money. One story at a time. We’re hosting a free, month-long gathering this October to bring our money stories out of the shadows and into the light. To enrich and connect this dear community. To spread a message of healing and love even farther. To bring more depth and intimacy to our money relationships than ever before. Grab a cuppa tea. Curl up with your favorite blanket. Bring your journal and make some time to connect with your own heart’s truth. Don’t miss a single story. Sign up here to subscribe to the October Money Memoirs Series and get them delivered fresh in your inbox.
Karin is such a bright spirit. I’ve so appreciated how she’s shown up in our Art of Money community this year: she gives it her all, shares exactly where she is (the good and the hard!) and offers such beautiful support to her fellow Money Adventurers.
In this insightful Money Memoir, Karin offers a nuanced description of the give-and-take her money relationship has with the other areas of her life — how it’s woven into them and the beautiful ways she’s found to apply lessons she’s learned elsewhere to her money relationship. Karin also opens up about how she recovered from big credit card debt (both emotionally and practically), why naming her bookkeeping a “money practice” made a huge difference, and the freedom she’s found thanks to consistent awareness.
Karen’s Money Memoir
1. How would you describe your relationship with money?
My relationship with money has evolved and transformed to a whole new level since I became a full time entrepreneur last year. We like and understand each other now.
I feel good around money most of the time and love that there is always more to learn. I am accepting when there are sticky spots in our relationship and get support within myself and in my community during those more difficult times.
I am constantly amazed at how much my money relationship shows up in other areas of my life. It’s really fascinating and definitely makes things interesting. So many layers, and I like layered relationships.
2. What are your strengths around your relationship to money? What really works for you in this area? Where do you rock with money? What are you proud of?
I think my biggest strength right now is in my resources…those inside myself and those in my community.
I feel really good about my ability to stay present and aware around money now. It really helps me to use what I do in all areas of my life with my money relationship…slow down, take time, be kind and accepting of what is happening.
And, when I don’t know something, I have such trust in the professionals I’ve met through AOM and my own advisors that I never feel alone in this. That is amazing!
I’m so proud of the healing I have done in this area and for being brave enough to keep with it on the practical side which hasn’t been a natural interest of mine.
3. I believe everyone has money shame. What is the Money Shame story you tell yourself? How does this show up in your life and business?
Before taking the AOM course, I told myself that I wasn’t good with money, that I couldn’t be trusted somehow. This was a bit of a challenge, given that I was opening my own business.
This limiting belief was a big part of my money shame, particularly related to my past history of debt. It still shows up sometimes in the form of freezing around money, kind of an unhealthy version of putting myself on lockdown, a punishment of sorts.
And it feels like a punishment, because it’s not a healthy conscious choice to scale back my budget or my spending. It’s got that icky “you’ve done wrong” “you can’t be trusted” quality.
This shows up in both my life and my business, but so much less so now that I’ve done, and continue to do, my money healing work and am staying on top of my money practices
4. What was a really tough money experience you went through? Please share the gory details. What did you do to get yourself through this time? What did you learn from it, and what are you doing differently because of it?
There was a time many years ago when I had $34,000 in credit card debt and felt a lot of shame about that.
It emerged over the course of several years. My boyfriend at the time was actually the first person to help me put it all down on a spreadsheet. He also helped me with a spreadsheet that I could play with different amounts in paying them off, it helped me so much to connect with the hope of getting out of that situation. And, as the months and years passed I gained so much motivation from watching the balances go down.
I was diligent about using those spreadsheets for years and it really helped me stay present to my credit situation.
I also started working with financial professionals, an accountant and a financial planner, around that time. That was amazing…sharing this ugly situation with people, financial people, and being met with kindness and support and plans.
The shameful secret was really losing it’s grip! And, in the years since then I’ve been working with my relationship to money in other ways, especially now that I own my own business. I have learned that keeping the secrets hidden in the dark only makes them darker!
Today I am honest with myself and the people in my life about my money. I still feel anxious when I use a credit card, fearing that the old beast will return, but now I am able to let that go, check in with myself, and find acceptance for that old part of me that can still feel wounded at times.
I am also present to my money and spending in an entirely new way. No matter what it is, I stop and pause and feel into what I want to buy.
I make clear choices, spend money on things that are in alignment with what I am up to in my life now, no judging and only forgiveness for the times when I make a less than ideal purchase.
It’s really liberating to go through this process and become free!
5. Do you have a money practice? What does this look like for you? (e.g. Do you attend to your money relationship through a daily, weekly, monthly, and/or yearly practice? Do you have money dates? Do you use a bookkeeping system? Do you have a ‘budget-plan’?)
My money practice is still evolving, but it’s becoming more and more consistent.
I learned from Bari the idea of approaching the money practice as a practice, just the way I do my spiritual and healing work. This made it so much more palatable for me.
I do my bookkeeping for business and personal weekly, at least the basics of what is coming in and going out.
I have just made a major transition to a new, more extensive, bookkeeping system. I learned to ask for help in that process, and got great training with one of the AOM guest teachers! She saved me hours and hours of confusion and frustration.
I also reconcile my accounts monthly now and track everything, even my cash spending. I’ve learned to treat my relationship with money like any relationship that needs time and attention and nurturing to grow. Some days we struggle, but slowing down and checking in on what the struggle is usually helps me move on through that too.
I also do the big check-in annually to prepare everything for my accountant.
I’m still working on developing and implementing a budget plan, but that is coming online and I find myself actually WANTING one! Who knew?
So, while money practices still aren’t my favorite, I do appreciate them greatly and feel so much more empowered and confident in all areas of my life when I am connecting with my money relationship on a regular ongoing basis.
6. I believe our money relationship is never “handled”. We’re always evolving, upgrading, tweaking and expanding our money lives. What are you working on right now? What’s new for you emotionally, practically, or spiritually with money? What’s the next level for you? (e.g. Are you adding new financial support people to your team, Are you learning Quickbooks for the first time, are you working on receiving in a new way?)
Right now I am working on finding the flow in my money practices and moving into the visioning phase of money (budgets and longer term planning.)
I recently switched to QuickBooks for MAC and it’s been an intense process of learning and trusting!
I still haven’t let go of my simple spreadsheet to track all of my income, maybe soon.
I feel great about the financial support people on my team and this year has been all about new financial teachers. Bari has such an amazing network and is such a leader in this area for me AND she invites in the most excellent guest teachers. I’ve connected closely with two of them.
Each teacher helps me in different ways, but they all flow into the same system. Amazing! I feel so supported and hopeful, knowing there are people like me…healers and spiritual people…doing this work and having good solid open relationships with money.
So, I’m still working on the flow with the money practices since they are not necessarily my favorite. This will be an ongoing commitment and it is becoming easier.
It’s really easy for me to connect with the healing aspect of money and I’ve been learning a lot about the energy of money. It’s been life changing, working with the energetics…the flow of money, coming and going, giving and receiving, and the boundaries that are necessary to keep the channels open. It’s not easy, but the other way was definitely harder.
And, there is always something new to learn, especially as an entrepreneur. Now I can welcome that learning with an entirely different level of awareness. It’s really exciting!
7. What’s the most important nugget of money wisdom that you would wish to pass on to young people? What is the Money Legacy you would wish to leave?
The most important nugget of money wisdom I could offer is to get support!
We aren’t taught much of anything about money in school and we definitely aren’t taught about the emotions around it.
There are so many wonderful resources in books, classes, and people out there. I’d say find the one that best suits who you are and dive in!
And, when there are resources to hire advisors, do that too. Find the people that are in alignment with what you are up to in the world and work with those people. We don’t have to be experts in all of it, we just need to know how to access our resources.
And, have a buddy! Someone that will hold the space for all that you experience around money, someone also working on their relationship with money. They are usually free and can be the most important resource of all!
I’d like to leave a legacy of money awareness and consciousness that is in alignment with my life as a spiritual healer both personally and professionally. No more shame, no more guilt or fear or frozenness around money! Freedom, flow, and great abundance is what it’s about for me now! And, that feels amazing!
About Karen
Karin is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner working full time in her private psychotherapy practice. Karin’s work focuses on present moment, body-based psychotherapies for working with trauma, attachment, and relational difficulties.
She has certifications in Somatic Experiencing (SE), SE Touch Skills for Healing Trauma. Karin also has extensive experience practicing mindfulness meditation and is a Yoga and Ayurveda Specialist with 300 certified hours. Karin’s work is informed by all of these various approaches to healing from both Eastern and Western traditions.
karinrobbinslcsw.com
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