Does knocking on doors, negotiating face-to-face or having someone tell you “no” terrify you? If you’re ready to beat your fear and to become “rejection proof,” a new book can show you how.
Author Jia Jiang documents his 100-day journey through rejection in his book Rejection Proof. This is a must-read for any real estate professional. Not only does it have great lessons for your business, it will also help you to cope with the rejections you encounter in everyday life.
According to Jiang, “When you fail at something, such as a business venture or a career, it feels unfortunate, but understandable and often tolerable, because it could be due to a host of factors.” In contrast, “rejection involves another person saying no to us, often in favor of someone else, and often face-to-face.” If you feel you deserved the rejection, you feel shame and ineptitude; if you feel it was unjust, you’ll feel anger and a desire for revenge.
What does it take to lessen the negative effects of rejection? Jiang’s journey shows that it may be easier and more fun than you realize.
Laughter Defuses The Pain
Your physical response to social rejection is identical to your response to physical trauma. The warfare against rejection is not just psychological; it’s biological and rooted in our DNA.
One strategy that lessens physical pain also works to cope with rejection. Robin Dunbar’s research shows that pain thresholds increase when people watch comedy. Paul Pearsall’s research found that laughing 100 times a day was a powerful force for warding off cancer and heart disease. In each case, it’s due to the release of endorphins. Endorphins relieve the physical part of the pain. They also reduce anxiety. If you have ever defused a tense or unhappy situation with laughter, you know how powerful this approach can be.
Ask ‘Why’ Before Saying Goodbye
When Jiang first began his journey, he scuttled off the moment someone told him no. He then decided to try a different strategy. When he asked a stranger if he could plant a peach rosebush in the man’s yard, the man turned Jiang down. At that point, Jiang asked, “Why?” The man explained that he didn’t like flowers in his yard. On the other hand, the woman across the street would probably be delighted to receive the rosebush. This was exactly the case. By politely asking “why,” Jiang received a referral that appreciated his gift. Consequently, the next time you encounter a “no,” politely ask “why?”
Ask for Something Less
Jiang went to McDonald’s and asked for a McGriddles sandwich in the afternoon. The woman serving him couldn’t help him because the machine that cooked the eggs and sausage had already been cleaned. Jiang shifted gears and asked, “Can you make me something like a McGriddles?” She was able to serve him a griddlecake with cheese.
Jiang explained that the McGriddles moment taught a powerful third way to cope with rejection: retreating, reassessing and trying a new approach.
The secret for your business is to try asking for a lesser request or asking from a different angle. For example, if a seller turns down one of the terms in your offer, ask if there is a different concession that he would make to move the negotiation forward.
Collaborate, Don’t Contend
“Arguments are a magnet for rejection and arguing turns potential collaborators into enemies,” according to Jiang. To shift this pattern, rather than arguing with a client who disagrees with you, make it clear that he or she has the freedom to say no. Look for a way to collaborate with the individual. For example, if you receive a low offer on one of your listings and your sellers are livid, explain that the sellers always have the right to say no. Next, ask them to collaborate with you to come up with a counteroffer that would work for them.
Switch Up, Don’t Give Up
Sometimes no matter what you do, the only response you will receive will be no. Continued persistence would only make the situation worse, but reframing the request may yield a different response. A classic example would be the seller who just listed their property and rejects your buyer’s low offer. If your buyers are still interested eight weeks later and the seller’s property hasn’t sold, their different circumstances may lead them to accept the offer.
The next time you encounter rejection, tap into your rejection toolbox. While you may not get exactly what you expected or wanted, what you do get will almost always be better than walking away and feeling rejected.
Bernice Ross, CEO of RealEstateCoach.com, is a national speaker, trainer and author. She may be reached at Bernice@RealEstateCoach.com.
The post Beat Your Fear And Become Rejection-Proof appeared first on Banker & Tradesman.