By Peter M. De Lorenzo
Detroit. Well, that was special. With 2015 shaping up to be the greatest sales year in automotive history here in the U.S., the capacity for grandiose exaggeration and serial over-promising by legions of auto executives who should know better has been a thing of scary beauty to behold, sort of like a train wreck looming just around Rainbow Bend in Lollipop Land.
What can be said about 2015 that hasn’t already been said? Plenty, actually, because lost in the euphoria of The Best Year Ever, myriad things went so very, very wrong that it’s hard to fathom it all.
Where to start? Well, VW cheated on emissions testing, got caught red-handed and then admitted that there was a culture of subterfuge going on inside the company when it came to meeting U.S. diesel emissions standards. Why did this happen? VW’s top engineers lived in such fear of the tyrannically mercurial Ferdinand Piech that instead of saying the words “it can’t be done” and disappointing him – which meant certain expulsion to seat-warmer development, or worse – they just went ahead and built in an electronic cheating device that would kick in when the cars were undergoing EPA tests.
Bad decision? Well, let’s just say that doesn’t even begin to cover it. This one boneheaded scenario managed to do two things no one thought possible: 1. Destroy the vaunted reputation for German engineering excellence literally overnight. I mean, let’s be clear here: they admitted that they couldn’t figure out how to meet the standards. As in, WTF? And 2. Destroyed the VW brand image in this country and around the world in one fell swoop.
Five minutes ago, the toughest automotive marketing job in the world was convincing import-oriented consumers that Cadillac is worth a serious look. Cadillac chief Johan de Nysschen and his chief marketing honcho Uwe Ellinghaus have a tough slog that will still be going on long after they depart to other stages of life. But that challenging assignment has been eclipsed - in terms of sheer scope and difficulty - by the VW mess.
As I said previously, VW's image among its loyalists - TDI buyers in particular - is toast. But it goes much deeper than that. The VW brand has dined on the legacy of its counter-culture roots in this country for decades, even though VW quietly transitioned to being a fairly predictable car company long ago, and it has been amazing to see older customers cling to an aura for VW that plainly didn't exist, except in their minds.
Yes, VW made a solid case for itself over the years with its many GTI and R iterations (still some of my favorite cars), but that niche wasn't enough to sustain the brand here, and their product cadence meandered in fits and starts as VW’s German marketing overlords stumbled about, arrogantly thinking that they had it all figured out. Well, they clearly didn't and now the brand is toxic, a symbol of corporate malfeasance on a grand scale. And there aren't enough cute TV commercials or precious marketing and PR efforts that will turn things around for VW in this market anytime soon.
I see VW taking a deep slide here, and I predict that a large chunk of their dealer network will either walk away or simply close, because not only did VW customers get screwed by “The Man,” the realization that “The Man” was in fact VW itself made it a thousand times worse.
The only thing that will save the VW brand at this point is breakthrough product entries that stand alone in the market. Products that march to a different drummer and attract consumers with their authenticity and indisputable merits, much like the original Beetle did, come to think of it. VW is embarking on a long, hard road, and it's going to get uglier and tougher before even a sliver of light will appear off in the distance.
And then there was the massive, take-them-to-the-woodshed fine and consequences - $70 million or thereabouts – that FCA got slapped with for its, ahem, less-than-exuberant response to their seemingly never-ending recalls. Oh, let’s just call it for what it is: a laissez-faire attitude about recalls in general that starts right at the top with one Sergio Marchionne. I must say, after being the voice in the wilderness about Marchionne and his espresso-swilling minions for many years now, I was not surprised about this development in the least.
When I observed the attitude that came with Marchionne and his posse, the attitude that suggested, no, make that emphatically insisted that he was the smartest guy in the room - any room - and that he would set the automobile business as practiced here in the Motor City straight once and for all, I knew trouble was not far behind. In fact it was a fait accompli that FCA would end up where it is today.
Why? Because the fog of arrogance that permeates Auburn Hills is palpable. It's as if these Italians have no time for the "stilted" ways of Detroit, even though the inside word in this business is that the processes and approaches they brought with them were so antiquated when they showed up on the scene in Auburn Hills that the True Believers were in shock at first. And then they collectively and immediately understood why Fiat had been in a constant shit storm for the last four decades.
The Marchionne arrogance has worked in other ways, too, especially for suppliers. It was not uncommon for suppliers to bid on a project, present their numbers, and then have a member of Sergio's posse say, "That's nice, now cut that number in half and we'll talk." So is it any real surprise that Marchionne viewed the piss-ants at NHTSA in Washington as a mere annoyance, something that he could swat away and stonewall until this whole mess blew over? Right? And of course he was so very, very wrong.
The fact of the matter is that the willful arrogance displayed by Marchionne and his henchmen cost FCA dearly. Make no mistake, Marchionne believes that he is damn-near invincible, and that Americans in general worry too much about such things as product defects and recalls. (And given Fiat's time-honored and woefully piss-poor record of reliability and durability, this whole thing is even less of a surprise.)
But then again this is Sergio's Folly to bear. He lives in a giant Me Cloud of his own making, a grandiose state of delusion that has him hovering over a world of compliant sycophants and agreeable head-nodders who bow to his every whim and wish because after all, the sooner we all acquiesce to his view of the world the better off this industry will be. And that's a giant bowl of delusional bullshit too.
I feel sorry for the True Believers in Auburn Hills who have to put up with that Unctuous Prick masquerading as industry savior every day, but I have to say that I am thrilled Marchionne and his espresso-swilling posse got burned, because they got exactly what they deserved.
Now, maybe some of the lesser lights in the automotive media will stop handing Marchionne a free pass, stop doing his bidding and start painting a far more accurate picture of him. Oh hell, what am I thinking? That's nevergonnahappen.com.
I, on the other hand will keep hammering away at this deal-making, carpetbagging mercenary because, well, someone has to do it.
But VW’s travails and FCA’s stonewalling were just two of the highlights of the year. We have so much more to cover. Queen Mary ruled over the GM ignition switch fiasco while trying to mend the company’s “culture” through "disruption." A tall and futile order indeed, but hey, she gets a platinum star for trying. And Audi, BMW and Mercedes continued to beat on each other for luxury segment supremacy, filling niche upon niche – both real and imagined – hell-bent on putting one of their models in every garage in America. But then again those are just the high hard ones.
(Editor’s Note: Caution, this column is not meant for single-sitting viewing. Take breaks, have a smoke and a pancake, drink a gallon of coffee and break out the Tito’s. Trust us, it goes much better that way. –WG)
So let’s get on with it, shall we? The Autoextremist Year in Review begins right now.
Let’s go back to that halcyon day in January at the start of a fresh New Year and on the eve of another Detroit Auto Show, when the industry was full of promise and everything was beautiful and the open-ended questions were all encompassing…
We will, of course, be treated to the annual train wreck in Cobo Hall, whereupon each manufacturer will tout its wares, promising a percentage sales increase that will cumulatively add up to a market pie somewhere north of 150 percent. That’s right, in an amazing cessation of all known mathematical equations, auto company executives will get up in front of the assembled media (and legions of hangers-on), and one after another boast and brag of untold future sales success, at the expense of their competitors, ignoring, of course those niggling realities of the market at large. (BEAUTIFUL THINGS AND LINGERING QUESTIONS. - 1/7/2015)
Unfettered by rhyme or reason, with a seemingly fleeting grasp of reality. The German manufacturers are remarkably adept at adding niche upon niche to their portfolios in the interest of having all possible bases covered, unable to see the Black Forest for the trees. It’s a remarkable display of hubris and arrogance that never gets old, because as you’re tripping over an endless sea of cars and SUVs in the Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz displays, you come to the stark realization that they have created an alternative autoverse for themselves. (1/7)
Those Lingering Questions? There were a few notables…
The Buick product lineup is worthy of a cohesive marketing strategy. The Buick brain trust is apparently incapable of grappling with that notion. Will Buick actually come up with a real ad campaign or will they continue to go with their glorified – and embarrassing – Tier 2 shtick and call it good? The pathetic thing is that Buick marketers actually believe that what they’re doing is brilliant advertising and that it has turned the tide for the Buick brand. Au contraire. It’s a pathetic excuse for having a distinct lack of an idea. (1/7)
The tunnel vision and the prosciutto-encrusted hubris know no bounds out in Auburn Hills, that’s plainly obvious. How long will FCA milk the Jeep and pickup truck bandwagon before the realization sets in that they’re a Jeep and truck company (with a few hot rods and cool cop cars thrown in for good measure) and not much else? Never. Sergio and his posse think they know better than everyone else, and they will never admit that the passenger car thing and the Fiat thing are nonstarters. (1/7)
Smart's fifteen minutes was over, uh, five years ago. When will the Smart car folly die once and for all? For everything that’s sacred and holy in this business, and for the legacy of the auto giants that came before, this story should have been over years ago. But for Dieter Zetsche, the Chief Executive of Hubris at Daimler, the delusion runs deep. (1/7)
Maserati? Why? Let’s be real here, why would anyone – other than the fringe enthusiast who wants to drive something different to the club - venture into a Maserati showroom? Given the serious players in the field, the ones with much more accomplished track records in terms of image and resale performance, Maserati will remain nothing more than a miniscule niche of a niche. (1/7)
NSX? What NSX? There was nothing even remotely close to the unveiling of the Ford GT at the Detroit Auto Show. Oh, there were other intros of note to be sure, but the new Ford supercar was so far and away the best thing to happen at Cobo Hall that the rest of the introductions seemed like they were at another, quieter show. (BOLTS, DOLTS, VAPOR MARKETING AND THE ANNUAL DANCE OF THE DRONES: THE HITS AND MISSES FROM THE DETROIT AUTO SHOW. - 1/14)
Halle-frickin-luja! For once the PR Minions didn't screw it up. The Ford GT was a surprise for a number of reasons, but mainly because Ford was able to keep a lid on the machine and resist the usual temptation to have preview media showings and other excitement busters that have long been tricks of the PR trade in this business. That Ford executives bought into the "let’s keep it a surprise" right down to the last second was commendable and made the impact of the reveal that much more exciting. Simply remarkable in this digitally obsessed day and age. (1/14)
(newspressUSA)
The Ford GT.
Welcome to the Sea of Vagueness, which is hard by the Straits of Neither Here Nor There. The new Chevrolet display was nicely updated (and special mention should be made of the intro video that they were running, which was beautifully done). And the freshened Volt was interesting, but Chevy sales chief Alan Batey apparently forgot he was “miked-up” as he shouted at the assembled multitudes of media types and assorted hangers-on throughout his intro of it. Then CEO Mary Barra got up and proceeded to sound like a school principal reading the morning announcements over the PA, but that is her wont, apparently. (1/14)
(GM/Chevrolet)
The new Chevrolet Volt.
We’ve only seen this movie before, oh, at least five or ten times in the last decade and a half, but who’s counting? The automotive media types (and the rest who could wrangle an invitation) went absolutely crazy for the Buick Avenir concept, which was unveiled at a special media reception at Detroit’s Eastern Market Sunday night before the first Press Day. The big rear-wheel-drive sedan bristled with absolutely every crease, roll and heavily nuanced detail that has been on every Buick concept from the last fifteen years. Apparently I missed the memo to the media that said you should genuflect and then wax on eloquently about the Avenir or you will never be invited to another GM press event again – as if that would resonate with me – because the media praise was gushing, relentless and misguided. Buick called it "a flagship sedan exploring progressive design with new levels of passenger well-being and technology integration." Call me underwhelmed. (1/14)
(GM/Buick Image)
The Buick Avenir concept.
Fat, derivative and clueless is no way to go through life, kids. The new Nissan Titan was an embarrassing kaleidoscope of other manufacturers’ pickup truck designs. Nissan designers borrowed a whole bunch from Ford, a little bit from Chevy and Ram, threw it all together and called it good. Except it isn’t. If there was ever a rolling monument to tedium and Nissan’s incredible lack of original thinking, the new Titan is it. It just may perform a much needed service, however, and that is finally bless us with the perfectly legitimate reason for Nissan to simply walk away from the pickup market altogether, because they have demonstrated repeatedly that they can’t compete and are simply devoid of a clue. CEO Carlos Ghosn had the temerity to suggest that the Titan would meet “unmet needs” in the U.S. market. What are those again exactly, Carlos? Here’s an idea: How about making yourselves useful and take another whack at the Juke? (1/14)
(Nissan)
The Nissan Titan.
It’s called vapor marketing. They show you the car. You can’t get one. They pronounce it the hottest thing in the market. You can’t get one. They promise more hot cars. And you won't be able to get any of those either. And this is how they’re going to go toe-to-toe with Audi in the U.S. market in just three years? Alfa Romeo showed a 4C Spider in Detroit, which was lovely, in a Will Ferrell-visiting-the-Olive-Garden in "Old School" sort of way, but really? Does it matter? I know hard-core enthusiasts are shouting their huzzahs to the rafters that the 4C exists to begin with, but what are they excited about? Because they can’t get one and if they’re one of those pathetic first-on-the-block types they will pay a ridiculous amount of money for the privilege of acquiring one, and it’s all unmitigated bullshit. Alfa is a pipedream that will be built on the unfulfilled fantasies and wishes of enthusiasts who should know better. Here’s an idea: Call these carpet-bagging Italians’ bluff and keep your money in your pocket. Make them come up with an actual business plan that goes beyond the part about Marchionne fleecing consumers just because he can. (1/14)
(Alfa Romeo)
The Alfa Romeo 4C Spider.
Welcome, shiny happy bootlickers! The free food and booze are to your right. The vacuous, self-absorbed executives and their smarmy personal PR minions are to your left! I can’t let last week’s events go by without mentioning – yet again - the intermittent incidents of genuflection by the assembled hordes in the media (and assorted hangers-on) down at Cobo Hall. The ardor displayed was punctuated by equal parts adulation and canonization, depending on the auto company executive in question. It’s now a ritual that seems to grow in its silliness each and every year, especially when the subjects are given a forum immediately after the media preview days to be interviewed, and who then struggle to come up with something riveting to say. Inevitably these executives say the same things they said at the media preview, which begs the obvious question: Why bother?
The entire media preview dance at these auto shows is so dated and stale that it has transitioned beyond silliness to out-and-out orchestrated futility. Editors push for more interviews thinking that those interviews will somehow differentiate their publications from the rest, but when the interview consists of softball questions and rote, repetitive answers pre-programmed weeks before the show, what is the point, exactly?
I am proposing a completely different model for the media days in conjunction with these auto shows, one much more aligned with the “Fashion Week” extravaganzas in New York and Paris. Instead of herding journalists and other hangers-on to the auto show floor for a series of press conferences that run together in a blur, I think a schedule could be created that would allow each manufacturer to have its own show at a venue off-site along with an appointed time to do their thing. Then, if media members want to arrange for interviews beyond that, so be it.
Problems? Sure. I think the first complaint would be, “We’re already spending two days at the show and three days at the after show, so this would add too much time to an already jammed schedule.” To that I say, really? Do you think the manufactured gravitas attached to the after show meetings is worthy of the attention it gets? Read the interviews and speeches. Please glean for me the “news” out of all of that. A fireside chat with Mary Barra? A meet and greet with Elon Musk? Yeah, that’s what I thought, a big fat “zero.”
The point being that what passes for auto show week around here is lame and broken, and it needs to change. Do I expect any of this to happen? Oh hell no, we’re talking about the auto industry here - and the auto industry media - and the concept of change is anathema, at best. (CARRY ON. – 1/21)
Wait, what? “The insights gleaned from this first auto study show a generation (Generation Y) that emphasizes car ownership and the critical role it plays in their day-to-day lives,” said Berj Kazanjian, senior vice president of ad sales research at MTV. “Millennials, like other generations, see car ownership as a way to establish independence, but millennials also see car ownership as a way to craft their unique adult identity.”
Do you know how many billions of dollars car companies and their ad agencies have spent chasing the millennial mindset over the last decade? I can assure you it’s staggering. Entire car programs were altered; massive advertising campaigns were dissected and nuanced to the very last detail in order to capture the millennials’ attention. And do you have any idea how many faux marketing “geniuses” were made in this business because they insisted that they had “cracked the code” of the millennial mindset, and that they and their companies were about to enjoy untold riches due to their brilliance? It’s basically all unmitigated bullshit, as I pretty much suspected every step of the way.
The freedom of mobility is a powerful thing. People can make pronouncements about how different they are and how they view the world in an entirely different way in focus groups, but give them a taste of driving and the freedom it brings and everything changes. Because with that freedom of mobility comes the freedom of discovery, about life, living and myriad other things that swirl around in your head when you’re given that freedom. Discoveries about yourself, I might add, that don’t quite fit in the cut-and-dried world of a focus group study. Imagine that. (LIVIN’ ON CHANNEL Z. - 1/28)
The thing about the advertising business is that you’re only as good as your last piece of work, and the “what have you done for me lately?” attitude permeates the client/agency relationship at all times. This stems from the fact that the never-ending story arc between auto companies and their ad agencies is that when things are going well, the auto companies insist that their agency folk are their true marketing “partners,” and when things are going bad – as in, when the client screws up the timing of a product launch, or their products well and truly suck vis-a-vis the competition - then it’s inevitably the agency’s fault somehow and the agency is demoted from “partner” status to just being a “supplier.”
I’ll be right upfront in saying that there’s level of mistrust between an advertising agency and its auto company client that rides just below the surface, and at any moment things can go from being somewhat cordial to prickly in oh, like a nanosecond. I’m telling you this in order to give you at least a glimpse into the world in which this work that you see on television is created. “It’s an up at dawn, pride swallowing siege” for an ad agency (to quote from Jerry McGuire), and it’s a constant battle between the talented and those who insist on getting in the way of goodness – and sometimes greatness - on both sides of the aisle. (THE “NEXT LITTLE BIG THING” AND OTHER THOUGHTS ON THE SUPER BOWL OF MARKETING. - 2/4)
Haven't we seen this before, only better? First of all, the Jeep “Beautiful Lands” spot (watch it here) for the new Renegade was all beautifully shot and internationally inclusive, but to foist off Woody Guthrie’s classic American folk song, “This Land Is Your Land” to launch an international marketing push for the smallest Jeep was both insulting and disingenuous. And to make matters worse, they were beaten to the punch by The North Face, which used Guthrie’s classic song - and to much greater effect, I might add - for its “Never Stop Exploring” campaign, which debuted at the end of last October. So, despite all the Internet fan boys who are already canonizing the Renegade as the “Next Little Big Thing” and despite the fact that Olivier Francois seems to get a pass just for showing up so that we can all bask in his brilliance, I give this effort a definitive and emphatic “D” for three very specific reasons: 1. Using inappropriate music. 2. Not having an original idea. And 3. For the unbridled arrogance that assumed that spending a boatload on location filming would automatically result in advertising glory. Guess what? It didn’t. (2/4)
Holy crap, do you mean this doesn't go on forever? There’s nothing tougher for a manufacturer in this business to deal with than to have a vehicle segment all to itself - with all of the endless profits that go with it – while at the same time figuring out how to keep the troops motivated, focused and on the top of their game so that complacency doesn’t set in. And there’s nothing more motivating for other manufacturers in this business than to see a competitor have a direct line to a mountain of profits, without anyone at least giving them a real run for their money. Jeep is enjoying its moment – and the immense profitability that goes with it – in the sun. But the competitive storm clouds are brewing, and some major turbulence is about to disrupt the friendly confines out in Auburn Hills. (JEEP ENJOYS ITS MOMENT IN THE SUN – FOR NOW. - 2/11)
We don't have a clue, we've never had a clue and it's unlikely we'll have a clue in the near future either. To make matters worse, the Honda brain trust has repeatedly demonstrated that they are functionally incapable of understanding where Acura needs to go, let alone understand what it should be in the first place. And the NSX isn’t going to be the quick image fix they’re looking for, either. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it one thousand times, if Acura is supposed to be “the best” of Honda, why doesn’t it come across that way? And why can’t anyone over there come up with a plan for the brand that actually has staying power? To me it’s very apparent that the Japanese brain trust at the top of Honda has no understanding of what they’re up against in trying to compete against Audi, BMW, Mercedes, Lexus, et al, with Acura. And unless they’re willing to set aside their own preconceived notions about what they think should go on in the luxury-performance segment, as opposed to the reality, then the whole Acura thing will continue to be an industry tumbleweed that rolls on forever, destination unknown. (INDUSTRY TUMBLEWEEDS. – 2/25)
When is precision in the name of precision imprecise? Right here. In one of my stints in my previous advertising life I once worked with one of the advertising industry’s legends – Phil Dusenberry – and his most famous way of registering disgust with an advertising concept presented to him was that he’d look over his half-glasses, pause three beats for effect and in sotto voce say, “It’s not very good, is it?” I could go on and on about this new GMC campaign, how it smacks of heavy-handed client engineering (a Detroit car company specialty), as in “let’s make sure every one of our products appears in the spot,” how the announcer voiceover seems to wander and meander before making a point that doesn’t seem to connect with the product in the least, or how it seems like a really heroic effort at crafting a memorable “Tier 2” spot, but suffice to say the most accurate thing that I can say about it is: It’s not very good, is it?” (IT'S NOT VERY GOOD, IS IT? – 3/4)
Memo to the "Detroit is on the upswing" swells. For the record, my problem with all of this is that it’s grand eyewash that benefits the few who can partake in this urban resurrection of the moment. And the direction it’s coming from is all wrong too. The money is arriving from the top down, which is great for creating a glossy sheen that makes for euphoric local press coverage and heroic sound bites for when “Morning Joe” makes its periodic stop to take the temperature of the city. But the reality is that if this city is ever to turn around permanently for the good, the change will have to come from the bottom up: Through meaningful educational reforms and basic societal progress that somehow cracks through the barrier of abject despair and utter hopelessness that still permeate vast swaths of this city. That kind of change isn’t glamorous, and it can’t compete with a hot new restaurant opening in Midtown, or another architect’s rendering of yet another new building that may or may not be built. It gets to the heart of the matter of why this city seems to always be on the brink of despair, and until it is dealt with and the meaningful changes are nurtured so that they have real impact on the lives that desperately need it, then I’m afraid I will be writing similar things another four-and-one-half years from now. (THE DEAL ON DETROIT, PART II. – 3/11)
It's gravitas by association and it counts for absolutely zero in the Big Picture of luxury marketing. Chasing gravitas is not only a cottage industry among the luxury automakers; it’s a full-on obsession. I’m not talking about the usual stuff, like golf and tennis tournament sponsorships, sports star affiliation, or rubbing up against Hollywood star-studded events, which some manufacturers regularly engage in and obsessively so, I might add. I’m talking about the luxury automakers “owning” events in the pursuit of cultural hipness, thinking that if they’re there the positive rub-off will be inescapable and automatic, and they will be able to truly “connect” with their customers.
The best example of this is what has happened to “The Quail. A Motorsports Gathering.” The Quail is now a classic example of corporate sponsorship – specifically with the luxury automakers - run amuck. The Quail has been turned into a huckster’s paradise, an event designed to project the “luxury lifestyle” on people who are willing to pay upwards of $700 a ticket to roam among the vehicles on display, wander through the manufacturer tents and have lunch too. It’s all very civil. And it has also become a giant waste of time as the luxury manufacturers vie for image superiority and attention in a sea of other luxury manufacturers elbowing each other to achieve the same thing.
The result? Much talking to themselves goes on - there's that selling air thing again - reinforcing the fundamental belief of the marketing “geniuses” calling the shots that if they’re there they must, in fact, be getting their money’s worth because look at all the people roaming around through our tent! It must count for something, right? Right? Wrong. True luxury automakers that have won their standing the hard way by building great products and delivering on their brand image consistently over time will always win out. (CHASING GRAVITAS. – 3/18)
And then there was the April Fools' column. But, in case you’re wondering, this isn’t the last you’ll hear from us. I have been courted by a consortium of financially gifted individuals from Silicon Valley “South” – aka Austin, Texas - who want the “King of the True Believers,” as they embarrassingly refer to me, to lead them into the car business. These movers and shakers are blessed with extreme wealth, the kind of wealth that is, for all intents and purposes, incomprehensible. Their pockets are deep and their vision is clear. This small group of talented, decorated, and deeply creative men and women can see the Big Picture clearly. They thrive on a challenge and have the wherewithal to see a project of this immense scope through. They will remain undaunted by the withering costs and myriad difficulties that the automobile business presents on an hourly basis, because they simply won’t be fazed by any of it.
The new company, called HOTMotors - for High-Octane Truth Motors – is based in Austin, Texas and will combine my vision for the future of transportation with large measures of enduring passion and artful expression so lacking in the current automotive environment. HOTMotors is already staffed with 350 technical people working feverishly away in secret on the future of transportation in a nondescript warehouse not too far from the outskirts of the city. WordGirl will be the Chief Marketing Officer - with my assistance - and Dr. Bud will be Director of Public Relations, which will be interesting to say the least, so the gang will remain intact.
It has been my lifelong dream to lead a car company, and it’s probably the only thing that would make me give up Autoextremist.com. So here we go. P.S. That our first machine – the Bandini X37 – will look remarkably like one of GM Design’s historical gems - the Corvair Monza GT concept - is no coincidence. After all, why mess with perfection? (THE END OF AN ERA. THE AUTOEXTREMIST: JUNE 1, 1999 – APRIL 1, 2015.)
(GM Design)
The Corvair Monza GT concept.
So "restraint" translates into desirability? Is that B-school mumbo jumbo or are you just making it up as you go along? Cadillac made it clear that it’s still carrying a bit of the American luxury chip on its shoulder in New York. What do I mean by that? Cadillac is forever striving for respectability and street cred in the luxury-performance car arena, measuring itself against Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz at every turn. It is a natural desire and the GM luxury division has hammered this point home relentlessly with its superbly crafted V-Series offerings. And now it’s taking the fight to its competitors with the new Cadillac Touring 6 (CT6).
(Photo by Mike Appleton for Cadillac)
The Cadillac CT6.
The underlying theme of the lavish CT6 intro underlined GM’s desire for respect in the luxury-performance car arena. The assembled executives and the attendant Cadillac PR minions hammered this point home relentlessly, talking up the CT6’s array of aluminum castings and other metals and how they’ve been seamlessly blended into a desirable whole, insisting that they’ve raised the luxury car art. That is a serious boast indeed. The other point made about the CT6 is that it is first and foremost a driver’s machine, a distinction that was also made over and over last week.
First of all, I found the design of the Cadillac CT6 to be restrained, but almost too much so. In fact one of GM’s chief designers told me that “restraint” was the operative word used when executing the CT6 design. I’m all for restraint over garish and stupid – see the front ends of the Lexus RX and Nissan Maxima if you need examples of the latter – but remember this is the car company that has unveiled two of the most exceptional concepts in this business over the last four years, the Ciel convertible and the Elmiraj (below). (NEW YORK AUTO SHOW AFTERMATH AND THE UGLY REALITIES FACING CADILLAC AND LINCOLN. – 4/8)
(Images from GM Design)
For dedicated followers of fashion? Not yet. Not even, in fact. But after all of the orchestrated hand-wringing, the Ugly Reality facing Cadillac and Lincoln is that since the automobile business is all about fashion – and make no mistake, it most definitely is – and the luxury segment is the most image conscious part of the business, then competing in the luxury arena is an image play, pure and simple. And right now, Cadillac and Lincoln - in terms of brand image – are on the outside looking in. And they’re looking at years, not quarters, but years before they will be able to even noticeably move the needle. (4/8)
I knew automotive legends. Automotive legends were friends of mine. You're no automotive legend. Is this what this business has come down to, really? Robot CEOs with robot PR minions in tow walking a tightrope of political correctness out of fear of actually having something of substance to say that may resonate for a minute or two? Yes, I’m afraid so, with very few notable exceptions. I know some of you out there might be wondering to yourselves, well, “What about Sergio?” But anyone who thinks that the Almighty Sergio will now readily assume that mantle is dreaming. Marchionne is a gilded patrician and a manipulative dealmaker to whom the words “greatness” and “enduring legacy” will never be ascribed.
Why? Because carpetbagging opportunists never create enduring legacies, they’re glorified parasites who inject themselves into situations and then drain what they need out of them before they move on. Name the pivotal products Sergio has been responsible for creating? Not at the helm of the company when they were created mind you, but actually responsible for creating? This just in: There aren’t any. Marchionne is a certified genius at manipulating other people’s money to his advantage. A noteworthy skill to be sure, but not the stuff of legends or enduring automotive legacies the likes of a Piech, Porsche, Ferrari or a Henry Ford. (OF MEN AND MICE. – 4/29)
Peter answered reader questions in one of his columns this year. –WG
Q: What do you think of Mary Barra’s renewed push on changing GM’s culture? Don’t you think that’s pretty much of a fool’s errand at this point? –M.A., Northville, Michigan.
Where you find the True Believers you will find an energized, switched-on GM that is doing notably wonderful things and first-rate quality work, resulting in the best products the company has ever produced. But that covers just the “one-percenters” who make up “the best and the brightest” of GM, and it’s not the real picture of a company that still, to this day, is mired in a go-along-to-get-along day-to-day-ness of it all that is not going anywhere. Meaning, the intransigence of the vast gray middle is not going to change for anyone, Ms. Barra included.
But I’m glad she’s giving it a try and I’m glad that the shallow hordes occupying the mainstream media view it as being a Brand-New Day at GM, even though it’s really not. As long as GM keeps delivering excellent products, Ms. Barra will be fine. The moment they start phoning it in, or let things slide, she won’t be any different than any other CEO who suffered the consequences of not paying attention. As it should be. (THE DOCTOR IS IN. – 5/6)
Q. You seem to relish taking shots at Sergio Marchionne, even though he’s the most brilliant man in the industry by far. You come off as being petty and I think people stopped paying attention to you a long time ago. How does it feel to be irrelevant? –J.D., Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Ah yes, a card-carrying member of the pitchfork-wielding Internet hordes weighs in. After going on sixteen years – count ‘em – of doing Autoextremist.com, I learned a long, long time ago that when people agree with what I write I am feted as a hero, and when they don’t like what I have to say I am vilified as being the consummate Asshole, or even better, the industry’s Anti-Christ. This just in: If you’re a nationally recognized and read commentator it’s just part of the territory.
As for Marchionne, I stand by every word that I have written about him since he was gifted the Chrysler Corporation by the Obama administration. As I’ve said repeatedly, Marchionne is a certified genius at manipulating other people’s money to his advantage and as a deal maker, he simply has no peer. But being The Grand Opportunist doesn’t mean he should be immediately granted entry to the Automotive Hall of Fame.
There are no free passes in this business. Not for Mary Barra, as she will soon find out. Not for Ford with everyone scrutinizing every move Mark Fields & Co. makes. And especially not for Sergio Marchionne, whose bullying pronouncements have not only worn thin, but thankfully don’t carry nearly the weight that they used to, even with the bootlicking media that regularly did his bidding as a matter of course. (5/6)
Q. I am a racing enthusiast and I have to say that I read everything I can get my hands on over the Internet about the sport. I follow Formula 1, IndyCar and NASCAR, and I have to say there is no one, and I mean no one out there who directs such biting criticism as you do about NASCAR. What gives? -D.R. Charlotte, North Carolina.
I’ve been attending races since I was ten years old and I have been in and around the sport since then, both from the racing team side and the corporate sponsor/marketing side. In turn I bring a perspective that’s fueled by years of experience, and I understand the inner workings and nuances of the sport inside and out. An interesting and gratifying part of creating this publication every week is that my motorsport commentaries have become very influential in this business and in the motorsports community, and I have advised car companies and corporate America on their involvement in the sport for years.
Anyone who has followed my commentaries about the sport and about NASCAR in particular knows that I have the utmost respect for the talented team owners, drivers, technical people and crews who are directly involved in the sport. They are the True Believers of the sport of racing and their passion for what they do is remarkable. That said there is no doubt that I am NASCAR’s biggest critic by far.
Why? Because the distance between the corporate governance of the sport led by the France family in Daytona Beach and the realities of the day-to-day workings of the sport as perceived by the participating manufacturers and by corporate America is vast and becoming more glaring by the day. Suffice to say that NASCAR, despite its protestations otherwise, is slow to change and too insular for its own good. NASCAR conducts its business in a fog of "we've always done it this way" myopia that is simply unacceptable, especially given the world we’re living in today. And it irks me that the participating manufacturers keep throwing money into NASCAR without extracting more for those considerable sums in return. I will stop here, but if you would like to get a further glimpse as to my thoughts about NASCAR, go to any week’s “Fumes” where you’ll find my latest motorsports commentary. (5/6)
Going through the motions? Not a chance. When it comes to the Camaro and Mustang it’s not strictly about the numbers. It’s about passionate True Believers on both sides of the ball swinging for the fences and hitting each other with their best shots. It’s about creating evocative cars with distinctive points of view, soulful machines that veer far, far away from the commoditization that has overwhelmed the business in so many ways of late. The Camaro and Mustang get to the very essence of this business, and without them we would be left with just going through the motions, and nobody with a pulse wants to see that happen. (CAMARO VS. MUSTANG: THE BATTLE RAGES ON. – 5/20)
The Autoextremist as King of the Automotive World? No, Sergio, remarkably enough this column isn’t about you, though knowing your sense of unbridled entitlement and delusion about your place in the automotive world, you would so desperately want it to be. No, this column is about me, The Autoextremist, and what I’d do if I became King of the Automotive World. For some, this news would be akin to being told you were being reassigned to a yarn farm somewhere far away from the action, or worse. In fact, for quite a few of the go-along-to-get-along hordes that go through the motions in this business, this news would be an untenable, lethal cocktail of Sturm und Drang, with a chaser of world-ending, head-in-hands dismay, as in, “Oh no, Walter, I think we’re screwed.”
Oh well, boo-frickin’-hoo as we like to say around here, because no industry needs a dose of reality – brought with a reassuring whack of a 2x4 to the forehead, I might add – more than the auto industry, which is in the midst of its latest back-slappin’, the-good-times-are-never-gonna-end frenzy. Well, guess what, the giddiness stops here. My first day on the throne would be a busy one, because I would release a series of edicts (through my handpicked PR minions, no less) that would roil the industry for months on end. To wit:
The First Royal Edict. The Sergio Shit Show would be officially brought to an end and FCA would be broken up into the following pieces: 1. Jeep would be put up for bidding between GM and Ford. Make no mistake, it’s The Franchise and it will be worth $6 billion alone. So there’s that. 2. Dodge Ram Trucks would be put up for bid between Nissan and Toyota, because, well, Nissan would be better off buying ready-made pickups as they have demonstrated repeatedly and convincingly that they just don’t have the wherewithal to get it done. When it comes to pickups and Nissan, there’s just no “there” there, and it’s time to end the silly charade once and for all. It’s sad, but it’s the High-Octane Truth. Except that Toyota has so much cash sitting around that this bidding war would be over in about two minutes, and then Toyota would have an instant grand-slam home run truck brand to sell. Then they could finally get that eternal chip off their shoulder brought about by having to compete with Ford and Chevrolet all of these years. And even better, we could all finally be done hearing about it. A win-win for the whole damn industry, as far as your King is concerned.
The Second Royal Edict. Audi, BMW, Mercedes-Benz and Porsche are immediately prohibited from bringing in any more new models into the U.S. market. Instead, they will have to present their product plans to The King and I will rule as to their validity, worthiness, stupidity, etc. This means an immediate cessation to all crackpot niche automotive fantasies harbored by German car executives, the ones that go something like th