By Peter M. De Lorenzo
Detroit. Welcome to this "thing" called the automobile business. Like a Dead Air Circus twisting in the wind, the automobile business writ large here moves in fits and starts in a two steps forward, three back pirouette of ignominy, one that provides a constant thrum of mediocrity, a sinister Motor City soundtrack of "dark noise" if you will that is always there, looming in the background.
Is it all tedium? Thankfully, no, not by a long shot.
We are enjoying the finest cars and trucks in automotive history, and at every price point too. We’re also bathing in a golden era of performance, one that few thought would sustain itself as we march ever forward to a No Fun culture that pillories the automobile at every turn.
The looming societal storm clouds can’t dampen the inherent goodness and level of technology found in the average cars of today. It's simply staggering to contemplate the advanced technology, fuel efficiency and general level of excellence available in even the most mainstream of automobiles available. If you had predicted the level of technology and efficiency that would be available in a typical Ford Fusion, Chevrolet Impala or Toyota Camry even as recently as ten years ago most people would have scoffed at the notion.
There are no bad cars anymore because the price of entry in order to compete in this, the most competitive market in automotive history, goes up with each passing quarter. Combine that with the ever-escalating regulatory demands for more safety and more efficiency, and you have a never-ending upward spiral demanding even more overall excellence that consumes this industry's every waking hour. And all of that is wonderful and a reason to be optimistic about this business.
But, well, there’s always a “but” when it comes to the car business.
Once again we were blessed or haunted (depending on how you look at it) by an assortment of crackpots, a few actual visionaries, hordes of recalcitrant twerps, legions of spineless weasels, the obligatory egomaniacal dictators (with special emphasis on the first syllable), an unfortunately high quotient of unmitigated hacks, and of course the True Believers, because if it weren’t for their diligence, this business would implode on itself all over again.
This was the Year of the Recall, the Year of Sergio, the Year of Horsepower, the Year of Mary and for a lot of reasons, the Year from Hell.
How can that be, you say? Everyone’s making money hand over fist as the national frenzy for crossovers, SUVs and pickup trucks seems to know no bounds. It’s all good, right? Yes, until it isn’t that is.
Don’t let those supercharged sales numbers go to your heads, because in typical Detroit fashion what goes up like a rocket comes down with a resounding thud. It always has and it always will. And just as the executives at the car companies here in the Motor City begin to believe their press clippings and start to think that maybe, just maybe this blissful state of soaring sales is going to stay hot forever, well, things are bound to get weird.
Though I’ve often written about the good things going on in this business, the constant misdeeds and missteps that seem to dog this industry and its players at a relentless cadence consume most of my time. That there are three dumb moves for every two smart ones in this business is a given and has been proven out over time. And to the industry honchos who are absolutely convinced that it won’t happen – or is not happening under their watch - I’ve got news: You can’t really control it; you can only hope to contain it.
I've often gone out of my way to separate the dunderheads from the True Believers in this business because to not do so would be a great disservice to the men and women who bring their talent and passion to their assignments every day. And the True Believers can be found at every level of these companies, too, from the executive suites on down.
But it’s never easy, because the mind-numbing hordes wielding their pitchforks of mediocrity are ever-present, just waiting for the True Believers to let their guard down for a millisecond so that they can wreak their particularly odious brand of havoc on the proceedings.
And that’s not the only threat for these True Believers face by any stretch, especially when chaos reigns - or has reigned - at these companies because of the constant ebb and flow of the prevailing political winds.
This has been the case throughout automotive history, and it’s not about to change anytime soon. It’s an ongoing battle of Goodness vs. Stupidity; Common Sense vs. Nonsense; the Blue Sky Visionaries vs. the We’ve Always Done It This Way Drones; and of course, the True Believers vs. the Carpetbagging Mercenaries du jour.
Yes, this business is all of that and more.
Conventional wisdom would suggest that this past year just flew by. But there’s nothing conventional about the auto biz, and besides, I beg to differ. This year didn’t fly by any stretch of the imagination. Instead it has been an excruciating grind since the doors opened for the media days at Cobo Hall eleven months ago, a Jerry McGuire-esque up at dawn pride swallowing siege for the people manning the oars on the various ships around here in the Motor City.
But hey, let’s pretend that the Good Times will last forever and that we live in a wondrous land of bunny rabbits and rainbows!
And let’s get on with the Autoextremist Year in Review, shall we?
Yeah, we know it ain’t Paris. You gotta problem with that? Detroit has its own raw power in the global automotive space that’s well founded and enduring. Detroit, bloodied and battered by bankruptcy as it is, remains one of the epicenters of the automotive universe and for the world’s auto manufacturers legitimacy is either rekindled or, as the case may be, established right here at Cobo Hall, each and every January. But now that the global auto manufacturers and the ever-increasing media hordes understand that, we all need to move on. The show organizers need to get over themselves and call it what it is: The Detroit Auto Show. And the sooner the show organizers embrace it instead of hiding behind the ponderous “NAIAS” sobriquet, the better off we’ll all be. (“WELCOME TO THE OLYMPICS OF SPIN” – January 8, 2014)
It’s also a display of automotive peacocking the likes of which has to be seen to be believed. But then again it’s there, right in the midst of the now reimagined Cobo Hall, where automotive executives - fortified with their glittering entourages of PR spin-meisters and shadowy bureaucratic functionaries - strut and fret for hours on the various stages, boasting of success and promising greatness, while steadfastly ignoring reality and too often sounding ridiculously tedious with their rote speeches and their ever more vainglorious pronouncements. Beginning Monday we’ll be immersed in a seething cauldron of oratory excess, bombarded with tales told by allegedly intelligent people who will willingly veer into idiocy at the drop of a hat, generating spin that’s full of sound and fury signifying, well, not much of anything when it comes right down to it. In other words, welcome to the Olympics of Spin. (January 8, 2014)
All Hail the Great and Powerful Sergio! (Leave your considerations with the Centurions, please.) And of course, Chrysler being Chrysler, or rather Fiat-Chrysler now being Fiat-Chrysler - since an eleventh-hour deal was consummated over the break between the UAW and Fiat, which allows that mediocre waste of an Italian car company to permanently tap into the profits from the Jeep and Ram Truck franchises, all for around $6 billion or so total - the absolute Steal of the Century, by the way – I expect that The Great Sergio will be carried in to Cobo on a gilded throne by actors portraying Roman centurions, while waving to his espresso-fueled minions and the adoring media. Oh, and they’ll show the new Chrysler 200, as if anyone really cares one lick. (January 8, 2014)
That’s 30-minutes of our lives we’ll never get back, thanks a lot. The pre-reveal for the Corvette Z06 was supposed to be cool and authentic and all “in the now.” Instead, it was nothing more than a 25-minute long processional of a Chevy Silverado pickup hauling the new Corvette Z06 on a trailer down to Cobo Hall from GM’s Tech Center in Warren, with a phalanx of new Corvettes in tow, complete with breathless audio voiceover trying to inject at least a modicum of excitement to the proceedings. It didn’t work. It must have seemed like a good idea way back when they were thinking about how to make the Z06 reveal “special,” but in reality it reminded us of a certain low-speed police chase in Southern California eons ago that featured O.J. and that now infamous white Bronco. In other words, it was interminable. Where was the video highlighting the legacy of 60 plus years of Corvette in competition? There has to be some historical racing footage in the GM archives that would have made for a memorable visual presentation before the big reveal. Anyone? Bueller? It could have been so much better. (A KALEIDOSCOPE OF THE PRETTY GOOD, THE REALLY BAD AND THE JUST PLAIN UGLY. WELCOME TO THE LAND OF OVERPROMISE AND UNDERDELIVER, OTHERWISE KNOWN AS THE 2014 DETROIT AUTO SHOW.” - January 15, 2014)
Porsche introduces its newly reinvigorated product strategy: Ka. And Ching. Porsche unveiled the 911 Targa at its press conference, a clear homage to a model that existed in the 60s and 70s. This latest “re-imagination” of the Targa concept was replete with the brushed aluminum Targa bar and a stupendously complicated automatic roof panel. It was cool, if you really are nostalgic for the Targa of old. Other than that, the new Targa was just the latest in a long line of calculated model extensions that Porsche has become masters of. Yes, as a matter of fact they do sit around thinking of more creative ways to extract money from the faithful, in case you’re wondering. It’s now their raison d’etre, in fact. (January 15, 2014)
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After negotiating the BMW display at Cobo, I’m quite certain that a BMW pickup truck is in our future. BMW was only marginally better than the minions at M-B, at least they aren’t attempting to shove “look at us, we’re hip” down our throats. The new 2 series made its debut, with the red M235i supposedly getting most of the attention, or was it the new M3 getting all the attention, or, wait a minute, maybe it was supposed to be the M4 Coupe? I’m not really sure. Or was it the 3 series GT? Or the X1, X3 or X5? Or the i3 or i8? And does it really matter? BMW, like Mercedes, has decided that a scorched-earth policy is simply the most brilliant stroke for this market. The Magic Formula (at least in their minds) goes something like this: More Vehicles + More Nameplates = Spectacular Results. That both manufacturers have managed to lose the plot entirely is inconsequential, apparently. (January 15, 2014)
We’ve driven sports cars. Sports cars have been friends of ours. That’s no sports car. Did Audi manage to distance itself from the BMW vs. Mercedes scrum? Well, not really. The smaller Q3 crossover was revealed, because, well, you just can’t get enough of them, according to Audi. And then Audi unveiled something called the “allroad shooting brake” that "combines a host of visual elements of future sports car models…” Audi is now officially designating all future crossovers as "sports car" offerings. It was, quite simply, one of the lowest moments to come out of the show because it confirmed the real “Truth in Engineering” when it comes to Audi: They think they’re better than BMW and Mercedes, which flat-out isn’t true. And remarkably enough they’re even more arrogant. And this just in: They’re never wrong either. Having this kind of attitude usually doesn’t end well for car companies. Audi will be no exception. (January 15, 2014)
An unexpected gem in the Ford display was the presence of the Ford 1 Concept, which was the compact, mid-engine, two-seater that Ford unveiled at the U.S. Grand Prix in Watkins Glen, New York, back in 1962. It was also the first time “Mustang” appeared on a Ford vehicle. It still looks fabulous today. (January 15, 2014)
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The Nancy Kerrigan “Why Me, Why Now?” Award goes to… The VW Beetle Dune concept. As in you have to be kidding, right? There’s some convoluted explanation roiling around out there as to why this dismal exercise in “Yeah, that’s right, we don’t have a frickin’ clue as to what we’re doing” product “imagination” exists, but I haven’t heard of one that makes a lick of sense. For all of the "I'm the King of the World!" plans of their maniacal leader, Dr. Piech, VW manages to shoot itself in the head in this market with its house brand, repeatedly. And they still don't get it. What a mess. (January 15, 2014)
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The Just Take Me Out Back and Shoot Me Award goes to… The Toyota FCV (fuel cell concept vehicle), which had not one single redeeming quality about it. Not one. It’s a design abomination of monumental proportion. Congratulations to all who were involved with it, we hope you’re able to find work. (January 15, 2014)
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Your sheer, unmitigated loathsomeness will not soon be forgotten. And what would the 2014 Detroit Auto Show be without more news from the departing Captain Queeg? Dan Akerson, of course, had Queen Mary in tow on his slow-motion, hackneyed victory lap of sorts at the show on Tuesday (the Unctuous Prick’s Last Day, by the way) because, in case you’ve forgotten, Akerson’s three-pronged (count ‘em) legacy that’s being crafted as you read this by his Chief Apologist/PR Bag Man Selim Bingol consists of the following: 1. Dan Akerson alone saved General Motors from itself. Nobody else. Not the True Believers in Design. Not the True Believers in Engineering. Not the True Believers in Product Development. It was Dan Akerson alone who saved GM and don’t you ever forget it. 2. He’s the Greatest GM CEO Of All Time, period. And 3. He’s the brilliant visionary who was singularly responsible for promoting a woman to be the first CEO of a car company. Not that she’s isn't eminently qualified, of course, that’s beside the point, in fact. He did it; therefore he’s The Man. That’s all we need to know, right? Right. Good riddance, Dan, and have fun regaling your D.C. cronies on how you alone saved GM. (January 15, 2014)
Every time this business has succumbed to lowest-common-denominator thinking – and wanting recognition for just showing up - it hasn’t ended well. I took some shots last week from readers who thought I was too harsh on the Detroit Auto Show, that I should give the automakers and their executives a break for trying hard and doing their best. I thought I was eminently fair, however. As I’ve stated repeatedly from Day One of this publication, car companies and their executives don’t deserve a pass just for showing up. This just in: Mediocrity isn’t bliss in this business. It never has been and it never will be. I get the fact that standard operating procedure in this country nowadays dictates that kids get gold stars, trophies and group hugs just for dressing for a soccer game, but the last time I checked, that doesn’t pass muster in the car business. (DETROIT AUTO SHOW AFTERMATH: THE RATIONALIZATIONS, THE EXCUSES AND THE "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?” – January 22, 2014)
Please stop talking now, we’re begging you. Thank you. Michael Sprague, Kia Motors’ EVP of marketing, was quoted by The Wall Street Journal as saying, “Waiting until Feb. 2 just doesn’t make sense. There are people out there who are looking for information about Super Bowl and if I can pique their interest now and feed them content over the next four weeks they will be more engaged with my brand over that time and then more engaged with my spot come Super Bowl Sunday.” Remember what I said about marketing types talking to themselves? When was the last time Kia did anything more than what I define as “advertising cotton candy” on the Super Bowl? You know, the kind of ad that tastes good for a few seconds and then is instantly forgettable? Yeah, that’s what I thought.
The marketers who buy into this latest trend are missing the point in a big way. Massaging the message through social media may feel good, but at the end of the game, which ads are the ones that stand out? The brilliant concept ads that were completely unexpected, or the ones that were beaten to death in the run-up to the game?
I come down hard on the side of door No. 1. As a matter of fact there is only one automotive marketer who understands this concept implicitly and delivers the goods more often than not when the situation demands it, particularly on the Super Bowl. Only one.
Olivier Francois, Fiat-Chrysler’s marketing chief, understands ”big moment” advertising better than anyone in the business, and though I’ve had problems with his endless self-promotional tendencies, the guy not only gets it, he delivers. The rest are simply missing the point before they even get started. (“MISSING THE POINT” – January 29, 2014)
You better get used to the notion of Dan “I’ll be the next chairman of General Motors, just watch me” Ammann. That Ammann fancies himself as The Shit is apparent for all to see. He goes out of his way to insist that he isn’t just a bean counter but a true car guy, touting his certification to drive on GM’s Milford Road Course and the Nurburgring Nordschleife in Germany as proof. That’s all well and good, but make no mistake, this move was made for the benefit of Wall Street, who isn’t comfortable unless they see one of their own near the top of GM. And Ammann is their guy. (“WHAT NEXT FOR GM?” – February 12, 2014)
… we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way…”
On the one hand, that this business is hanging by a razor-thin thread of cautious optimism even with the gathering storm clouds on the horizon is to be commended, in a Jimmy Stewart, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington sort of way. On the other it is to be pitied, too, because when this business gets it wrong and augurs in to the ground due to its own serial incompetence and relentless stupidity, it doesn’t take a few quarters to pick up the pieces, it’s a painful recovery that’s measured out in years.
But then again these automakers will never get a “quick rinse” free pass again. If they venture into The Darkness once more, there will be no light at the end of the tunnel. There will only be more darkness and a choking sense of foreboding.
A Tale of Two Cities, the Charles Dickens-penned masterpiece from over 150 years ago, spoke of a different time and a different era marked with churning consternation and unbridled rancor and fears the likes of which none of us are familiar.
Yet here we are mired in a tale of two cities of a different sort, with the two “Detroits” once again at war with each other.
On the one hand we have the “old” Detroit, a sodden mess of an auto business and a city – each burdened with the devastating effects of a pervasive union mentality that has long since past its usefulness that conspired together to get lost in a lumbering cadence of lowest-common-denominator “we’ve always done it this way” thinking that actually caused some people to believe that “good enough” mediocrity was not only somehow sufficient, but desired, while the world changed dramatically all around them and moved on.
On the other we have the “new” Detroit trying to project itself as a glimmering beacon of hope in the darkness, an industry emboldened with new products, new vision and a feisty new competitive spirit, augmented by a city that has been reborn and rejuvenated after years of being the country's punch line, one teeming with new enlightenment and perspective while pointing to a limitless future.
The reality is that Detroit – the car business and the city – is somewhere in between, and on any given day the pendulum can swing from one extreme to the other. (“WELCOME TO THE WINTER OF DETROIT’S DISCONTENT.” – February 19, 2014)
The name is Sloan. Alfredo Sloan. The all-knowing and all-powerful leader of the Fiat Chrysler enterprise has been anointed The Altruistic Savior of all he surveys by the bootlicking hordes in “the media,” portrayed as the man who pulled the doddering old Chrysler out of the depths of despair while giving its huddling, downtrodden masses who were facing a certain death sentence a reason to live. And it’s all unmitigated bullshit too.
Marchionne is a shrewd, make that brilliant deal maker who happened to be in the right place at the right time and who was able to abscond with the car company formerly known as Chrysler lock, stock and barrel for the staggeringly paltry sum of $6 billion, all in. And in one fell swoop he gave the idle aristocracy who inherited the Fiat "empire" – and had almost run it into the ground once and for all - another lease on life. For that he has been granted career canonization the likes of which has never been seen before in this business, sort of an Alfredo Sloan for our times.
But then again there’s another side to Sergio that isn’t sexy, glamorous or all knowing, which is why it continuously goes unreported.
Marchionne’s brilliance when it comes to putting together big picture deals is unquestioned. Let’s face it, anyone who can walk away with the Jeep brand for the above-mentioned sum and get the rest of Chrysler in the bargain is a frickin’ genius.
But The Other Sergio is a plodding, micro-managing maniac who believes that Fiat Chrysler employees – no matter what the level - should be happy that they’re allowed to be in his presence. And for that, and the occasional opportunity to be bathed in the warmth from the glow as The Great One passes them in the hallway, they get a shockingly head-in-sand management approach - a time-tested legacy of the Fiat “empire” that’s unwanted and unwarranted - yet shoved down the throats of the Auburn Hills faithful with astonishing regularity.
The ingrained backwardness with which the Italians approach everything actually has the denizens in Auburn Hills reeling from having to dumb down the way they do things to appease their Italian handlers on a daily basis. Sergio’s espresso-swilling minions regularly ignore hard-earned and hard-won lessons that have stood the test of time in this business in favor of doing things “their” way, even if it jeopardizes the company’s competitive standing in the market or it costs the company millions in do-overs and start overs.
The arrogance of the Italian overlords running Chrysler now rivals the arrogance displayed by the German overlords back when Daimler had its crack at the keys to the Jeep-Truck kingdom. Combine that with their openly hostile attitude, which states that every supplier who brings an idea or a product to them can, as they often say, “cut your number and half and then we’ll talk.” It’s a wonderful way to build trust in the supplier community and an even better way to ensure that FCA misses out on leading-edge technology and thinking across all disciplines.
And Sergio’s latest management brainstorm is to jettison anyone over 50 (no, you won’t read this anywhere else) because they’ve become liabilities and are not forward thinking enough. Top-notch, seasoned executives are being shown the door in favor of young, inexperienced replacements with the inevitable result: The young hires are being blown out and replaced by similarly young and inexperienced people and guess why? They can’t do the work because they don’t have enough experience. It’s a revolving door of mediocrity that just keeps doubling up on itself. Meanwhile, the senior-level managers, sensing the tide, are gathering in droves at the door clamoring for a way out.
That’s right, there are Two Sergios at work here. On the one hand there’s “The King” - the genius deal maker and media darling who walks on water, and then there’s the paranoid, micro-mismanaging bumbler who, along with his posse, is projecting Fiat’s historically losing ways on to the True Believers out in Auburn Hills. You know, the ones who deserve so much better than what they’re getting.
A little madness in the Spring is wholesome even for the King.
~ Emily Dickinson
I think I’m going to have to go ahead and disagree with Emily on this one. A lot less madness from Sergio would be a welcome breath of spring out in Auburn Hills. (“THE TWO SERGIOS.” – February 26, 2014)
It’s notgonnahappen. Not in our lifetime at least. When all is said and done, it’s a cultural thing. In Europe Cadillac is an all-American brand treading water in a sea of ultra-competitive cars from Audi, BMW and Mercedes-Benz. And these star luxury-performance makes are more than just homeland brands, they’re rolling points of pride and symbols of technological supremacy, which the German public holds dear, for the most part. (There’s no doubt that the anti-car movement is gaining steam in Europe, but for now, homeland pride in Germany’s star brands holds sway.) I get the distinct impression that GM management’s relentless naiveté is getting the best of them. They have somehow come to believe that by using a little homespun Jimmy Stewart colloquial speak, as in “Aw shucks, we make some damn fine cars, come take a look” that they will slowly but surely turn the tide in Europe for Cadillac. (“GM’S EUROPEAN FOLLY.” – March 5, 2014)
But in discussing all of this it is important to remember that the Ford Motor Company is different, and that the passing of William Clay Ford is significant because of what it means to his family, the company and the industry at large.
When you live around here, it’s not uncommon to hear people talk about “working at Ford’s.” You’ll never hear that when people discuss working at the other car companies, and that is because “working at Ford’s” means working directly or indirectly for the Ford family, who still retain control and very much a vibrant interest in the family business, which, lest we forget, is one of the most important industrial legacies in America and part of the very fabric of this nation.
In the global automobile business as it is defined today the Ford Motor Company remains a unique operation, a family-owned and run business that stands out among the faceless corporate entities that make up the rest. Yes, there are family legacies at some of the other car companies around the world, but Ford is different and will always be different.
And that is because the Ford family cares. They care about the company’s role in providing for so many families in the community, they care about the family’s historical legacy, and they care that the Ford Motor Company continues to deliver a kaleidoscope of effective transportation choices for people all around the world.
And the fact that the family does care has endeared the Ford Motor Company to people around here in a way that the other car companies in town never will.
The members of the Ford family work in and around the company in various capacities, too, with William Clay Ford Jr., executive chairman, the most visible. It is simply extraordinary that the family has remained engaged and involved in the company for 110 years, and that’s due to the fact that they have never slacked off or “phoned it in” but instead have kept the flame and the family legacy alive for generations to come.
The passing of William Clay Ford does mark the end of an era, as he was the last living connection to the very beginnings of the automobile business.
But it’s also a reaffirmation of a most remarkable legacy, one that William Clay Ford Jr. and the other members of the Ford family will now proudly carry on. (“A MOST REMARKABLE LEGACY.” – March 10, 2014)
(Images courtesy of the Ford Motor Company)
William Clay Ford on Ford's Dearborn Test Track at the age of 14 in 1939.
William Clay Ford (right) prepares to light the William Clay furnace at Ford Motor Company's Rouge River Complex, in 1948.
William Clay Ford became an employee of Ford Motor Company in 1949, joining his brothers, Benson Ford (left), and Henry Ford II (right).
As head of the Continental Division from 1954-56, William Clay Ford oversaw development of the 1956 Continental Mark II, successor to the classic Lincoln Continental developed under the direction of his father, Edsel Ford.
William Clay Ford and William Clay Ford Jr. celebrating William Clay Ford Jr.'s first day at work in 1979.
William Clay Ford.
Goodnight everybody, you’ve been great! Try the prime rib, it’s delicious! Bob Ferguson, GM’s former head lobbyist, went back to Washington to help navigate the arrival of GM’s Implosion Train, which is making its next stop in our nation’s capitol to get its obligatory public flogging in front of our esteemed grandstanding blowhards in Congress.
You remember Bob Ferguson, don’t you? Yeah, I didn’t think so. Ferguson, GM’s chief lobbyist from 2010-2012, was the guy plucked from obscurity on a whim by former CEO Dan Akerson, because ol’ Captain Queeg thought Bob was just the guy to run Cadillac globally for the now-reeling automaker.
This move puzzled insiders and outside observers alike at the time, because Ferguson was amazingly devoid of any qualifications for the assignment whatsoever. After all, Cadillac (along with Chevrolet) was one of GM’s showpiece divisions, and the push to project GM’s luxury division globally was an urgently important task. And it was clear to everyone but the aforementioned Queeg that appointing Ferguson to the job was akin to hiring the kid who used to deliver the papers in your neighborhood for a major corporate role because he was a real go-getter and he smiled a lot.
But the elevation of Ferguson – or “Amway” Bob as I called him because the first time he presented himself in front of the media he came off like a cheerleader warming up the room for an Amway sales meeting - was consistent with Akerson’s malicious reign of terror within GM, whereupon anyone who didn’t smack of “old” GM immediately went to the head of the line for kudos, accolades and prized jobs, whether deserved or not.
Ferguson wasn’t just plucked from obscurity, however. He was intercepted from another planet altogether and given the reins of GM’s luxury division because that miserable excuse of a former CEO thought Bob was a “smart” guy who could do just as well in the job as anyone else within the halls of the Silver Silos. And it worked fabulously. Not. (“MR FERGUSON GOES (BACK) TO WASHINGTON.” – March 29, 2014)
As boot-lickin’ hacks go, you guys are the best. And to think I was taken to task by the many lesser lights in the so-called “automotive media” for being too harsh on Akerson. That I was going over the top and losing perspective, especially by one remarkably talentless local hack (who shall remain nameless) who toils for a publication that is barely worthy of lining a birdcage. Well, this just in: You all missed it. And you should all be ashamed of yourselves. Every last boot-lickin’ one of you. You all toadied up to Selim Bingol (Akerson’s unctuous prick of a PR bag man) in order to curry favor with the Big Guy, so that you could run back to your editors with breathless prose designed to promote Akerson as one of the great leaders of automotive history. And so that you could then be granted even more access in the future, in order to write even more worthless stories. (You can all stop looking down at your wingtips and cowering in your power cubes in the hopes that no one will notice you, too, because it won’t help. I will be glad to remind everyone who you are in my next book: Hacks I Have Known. It’s the least I can do.) (“WE MAY NEVER PASS THIS WAY AGAIN. GM AT A CROSSROADS. – April 4, 2014)
The Mustang was not only the right car at the right time, it changed everything. And the social media buzz that manufacturers are so desperate to control and influence today? It’s nothing more than the latest form of the most powerful advertising, which is still word of mouth. The Mustang was a word-of-mouth star. Everyone in the country was seeing it, talking about it and wanting it. It was the four-wheeled equivalent of the frenzy surrounding the original iPhone.
There has never been a marketing launch like the Mustang in this business and we'll likely never see one like it again. Why? Too much has changed, for one thing. The upward trajectory America that thrived in the 60s has been replaced by a tentative, everyone gets a trophy and a hug America. The societal imprint is so decidedly different than it was back then that we’ll never see that level of interest surrounding the launch of a new automobile again.
The sad reality is that handheld devices have replaced automobiles in terms of creating fundamental desire among most younger people, and the chance of seeing a manufacturer come up with anything that has the impact of the Mustang in the modern era is less than zero.
But for a fleeting, magical moment in time Ford captured lightning in a bottle with the Mustang. And marketers to this day are still "cooking" the formula, trying to capture that kind of magic again. (“IT CHANGED EVERYTHING.” – April 12, 2014)
(Photos courtesy of Ford)
There aren’t? You gotta be frickin’ kiddin’ me! I caught a lot of car companies chasing their tails at the New York Auto Show, ignoring the two most enduring tenets of the business, which are:
1. It’s about The Product. It always has been and it always will be too.
2. Design is still the Ultimate Initial Product Differentiator. If you don’t have it, you can’t hide it. And if, as a manufacturer, you go all vanilla hoping to offend the fewest people, you’ll probably end up attracting the fewest people as well.
And if there’s a third, it’s this: There are no Magic Beans to be found in this business.
Instead it’s about designing, engineering and building fundamental product goodness and having the focused consistency not to waver from that mission.
It’s about creating products that are emotionally compelling to look at, fun to drive and rewarding to own.
And it’s about adhering to the core competencies of the brand. In other words, whatever you’re good at and whatever your reputation is based upon, you better deliver on that promise. Anything less and you will get lost in the shuffle, or just get lost, period.
And of course it’s about not veering into niches or segments that you don’t belong in, no matter how enticing they are.
There are no Magic Beans to be had in this business, but given what was on display in New York a shocking number of manufacturers seem to have forgotten that fact. (“IN SEARCH OF THE MAGIC BEANS.” – April 20, 2014)
Same as it ever was, folks. Yes, certainly economic factors contribute mightily to these boom-and-bust cycles, but make no mistake, when these car companies go off the rails they only have themselves to blame. Because if they dig deep and do some serious soul searching they will realize that they not only allowed it to happen, they willingly participated in it every step of the way.
But then again this is how it works in the Motor City. It’s part of the culture, pure and simple. You ride the big rocket for all it’s worth, and then you go down in flames in spectacular fashion.
In other words, it’s all good until it isn’t. Is there any chance any of this will smooth out and this business as practiced here will evolve into an even flow of gradual increases and nice profits in a sustained growth pattern? Not even.
For the collective car companies that toil under the moniker “Detroit, Inc.” the rocket ride of boom and bust punctuated by hand-wringing and complacency is the Devil they know intimately. As a matter of fact, they couldn’t do it any other way. (“THE DEVIL DETROIT KNOWS.” – May 14, 2014)
I could call these guys out for not only slurping from the company cocktail at a prodigious rate, but that they come equipped with a company IV and a patch too, etc. But let’s dispense with the niceties and call them out for what they are: Flat-out crazy. The key to Kia’s Quixotic Quest is the K900 sedan, a car that seemed to have potential once upon a time - oh, for like five minutes - but that in the flesh is decidedly ordinary, a mishmash of ingredients thrown together as if to say, “See, we can do it too! As good as everyone else in fact!” But in fact, it’s not. The K900 is like going to the electronics store in search of the latest and greatest innovation in televisions and settling for an off-brand because it was cheaper and, if you squinted a lot, it kinda-sorta looked as good as the real thing.
Not exactly a ringing endorsement, to say the least, but when Lee Soon-nam, Kia’s overseas marketing guru, told Automotive News in an interview that Kia “… can reach mainstream and then, in another five years, we should be leader in the market” - on par with Toyota and VW by 2018, in case you’re wondering what he’s talking about - these guys deserve to take some serious shots.
I get the fact that Kia is obsessed to get out from under their onerous (to them) relationship-by-holding-company status with Hyundai, but throwing down insane predictions for success, like they can turn on a giant spigot and world-beater Kias will come running out is not only flat-out delusional, but a particularly shocking brand of arrogance cum insanity that the Korean car companies seem to specialize in, one that pretty much defies having at least a shred of rational thinking attached to it. (“ARROGANCE + DELUSION = THE INDUSTRY’S MOST LETHAL COCKTAIL.” – May 21, 2014)
Yeah, that’s believable. Most glaring of the dubious findings in the Valukas report was that GM’s General Counsel, Michael Millikin, was completely unaware of what was going on until this past February, but that two of his deputies were knee-deep in it and lost their jobs because of it.
Really? Millikin is the architect of GM’s feared legal department, an “Adjustment Bureau” of sorts that runs roughshod over anything and everything inside that corporation, whether it comes under the purview of the legal department or not.
“Not knowing” is as far away from Millikin’s modus operandi as you can possibly get. This guy takes great pride in knowing everything there is to know about the company, often putting his nose – and the boots of his legal storm troopers – in places that they don’t belong, to the detriment of many. It should be no surprise that Millikin was one of Dan Akerson’s closest - if not the closest – allies, and the two were joined at the hip while plotting, ruminating and generally concocting mayhem within the company according to Captain Queeg’s mood on any given day.
So two of Millikin’s top lieutenants get the ax, but Millikin escapes to fight another day? That’s unmitigated bullshit, and it was a definitive indicator to me that the report was a vacuous document, one that left names out while selectively applying accountability where it seemed appropriate to placate outside scrutiny. (“THOUGHTS ON THE GM FIASCO AND THE AE BRAND IMAGE METER III. – June 11, 2014. Editor’s Note: Millikin has retired from GM. – WG)
In other words, an incurable case of brand delusion. Winning car companies understand that expert brand image wrangling can make or break their efforts. Having outstanding products is a fundamental requirement, of course, but knowing how to present those products and being able to expertly nurture a brand’s image completes the equation. And less-than-winning car companies, or car companies only intermittently able to be on their games for whatever the reasons (infighting, lack of talent, abject stupidity or all of the above), pay for their mistakes exponentially, compounding their troubles with each misstep. As I’ve said before, executives at the less-than-winning car companies get into trouble because they actually start to think that they’re selling something they’re not, which leads them to deluding themselves into thinking that their products are something other than what they are. (June 11, 2014)
No automobile company portrays the burgeoning Dr. Jekyll & Hyde disease that’s infecting the German luxury-performance brands better than BMW. After having a series of BMWs to drive over the last month or so, we experienced the sublime – the 640i Gran Coupe and the 435i – to the utterly ridiculous – the 335i xDrive GT. The dichotomy that exists at BMW is evident at Audi and Mercedes-Benz too. German auto executives believe with absolute certainty that if they cover every niche in the market – both real and imagined – it will ensure their survival and profitability, Brand Image be damned. But it doesn’t work – at least not without serious consequences - and they’re likely to find out the hard way that there are painful ramifications that come with their actions. And that having a BMW (or Audi, or Mercedes) in every garage is a recipe for Not Good, not a grand plan for long-term success. The journey that the Bavarian company has been on, from purveyors of the original sport sedan – the vaunted 2002 – to the ubiquitous luxury brand that it is today has been well documented, and BMW certainly has its act down cold. But almost everything that made BMW a BMW has been lost in translation. The light, nimble, toss-able sedans that launched the company have given way to bloated sedans, SUVs and crossovers that have about as much in common with the original idea as today’s O.J. Simpson has with the legendary USC football star. Will BMW still sell prodigious amounts of BMWs? Yes, of course they will. But people are buying BMWs because they think they should be driving them, instead of lusting after the vehicles because they can deliver a driving experience like no other. There’s a big difference. There are still enough authentic BMWs being built to keep the BMW faithful happy, but how long will that last? The AE Brand Image Meter ranking? Hot to very lukewarm, depending on which BMW we’re talking about. (June 11, 2014)
If this stuff were easy, everyone would have 30 percent market share and the streets in auto centers around the world would be paved with platinum. And when you listen to CEOs like Carlos and Sergio long enough, you get the idea that is exactly what they expect. But this just in: It doesn’t work that way, and when you have multiple manufacturers clamoring for the same slice of the pie and making the same sort of promises, something has to give, and Brand Image becomes even more crucial.
Automakers who are in search of a Brand Image and understand the power that comes with having a solid one garner the tiniest bit of slack from me, because at least they know what they want and where they need to go. But the automakers that have a brand image and don’t have the first clue as to what to do with it, or worse, have squandered a great brand legacy because of cluelessness, ineptitude, or both, draw zero sympathy from me.
It’s duly noted that the companies that are overflowing with True Believers and that focus every waking moment on the integrity and the fundamental desirability of the product are doing very well right now in the Brand Image department, and they will continue to do so.
The rest? Well, for them flailing and floundering about seems to be a full-time career trajectory.
Brand Image is a fleeting thing, except for those brands that understand how they got it, what it took to get it to that point, and what it will take to keep it. (June 11, 2014)
That cynicism emanates from what seems to be a fundamental belief held by the minions in Silicon Valley that all of their ideas are not only brilliant, but also infallible, even if the rest of us don’t get it. It’s that old “you’re just not hip enough to understand” argument that is used by practitioners in various professional pursuits. (Oft