It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. My husband wants to quit his job to job-search full-time
My husband has worked for the same small company for nearly 15 years. This was his first job after college and he was personally referred to the position (so he’s never really searched for a job before). We agreed that this would be the year he either decides to leave or to stick it out to see if this small company hits it big. Considering he’s miserable at his current job and has days that he wants to storm out, he’s decided he wants to move on. I support this decision.
The problem is that we’ve made this decision over and over again throughout the years and he never really pushes to actually search for a job. I’ve helped him in the past and now I’m done taking the reins while he waits for something to fall into his lap (obviously I’m frustrated and my patience is waning).
His mother convinced him to take a week off of work so we could kick off the job search and figure out what he wants to do, but he didn’t even finish updating his resume. Now, he wants to quit his job so he can job search full-time. He’s convinced that the current job is demotivating him too much to search on off-hours. He wants to dip into our savings while he searches full-time for his new dream job.
Thanks to the economy in 2008, I’ve held many different jobs and searched while working and while unemployed and I know it’s much more difficult to search for a job while unemployed, but he says I’m not being a supportive wife if I don’t tell him to do what he “needs” to do. Will you help provide some perspective on the struggles of quitting a job before starting to job search?
It’s generally harder to find a job when you’re unemployed than when you’re employed — sometimes much harder. Plus, job searches can take a lot longer than people think they will, which could have real implications for your finances. More on both of those things here.
You didn’t ask about this, but I do want to note that the fact that he’s already taken off a week to focus on job searching and didn’t use the week very well makes it seem pretty likely that he could quit his job and not get actively into job searching at that point either. What does he say about what happened there?
And again, I know I’m answering more than what you asked, but the biggest issue here seems to be that he has said for years that he intends to move on but hasn’t taken any actual steps toward making that happen. You can’t make him, of course, but you’re allowed to express what you are and aren’t comfortable with as far as your joint financial partnership goes (i.e., potentially supporting him if he quits and doesn’t find something else right away).
2. Advising a great applicant to run far, far away from my troubled workplace
I recently had the experience of sitting in on an interview for an open position at my organization, which has a number of issues up and down the ladder. When the applicant (who would be working at roughly my level) asked about workplace culture, stress points, etc., our director lied outright about what it is like to work here and gave the applicant information that is directly counter to what I am certain they will experience if they come onboard. (I think the director both knew she was painting a rosier-than-accurate picture and does not believe that things are as bad as they are, perhaps because she herself is such a big piece of our problem.)
I held my tongue, but I am seriously considering reaching out to this applicant to say … what? “You’re wonderful, we need you desperately, please run as far away from us as possible, this house is not clear!” I’d want someone to tell me what I know now if I were the applicant, but maybe that’s just completely out of bounds. And yes, I’m job-searching, myself.
This is tricky because while you’re employed there, you have a duty not to go out of your way to sabotage their hiring process. So I don’t think you should reach out to her and just issue your warning. But what I do think you can do is to email her and say that you’d be happy to answer any questions that she has. If she’s smart, she’ll take you up on that opportunity, and ask you the sort of questions that will allow you to give her a different perspective on working there. Even then, though, you should do it diplomatically. There’s info here on how to do that.
If it would seem really weird to your employer that you’d reached out with an offer to answer questions (which it might, depending on the nature of your job there), an alternative would be to send her a connection request on LinkedIn (which is totally defensible if your employer knew about it) and include a note saying something like, “Great to meet you the other day. Drop me a line if I can answer anything further.”
Also! If your relationship with your director allows it, you should mention to her that you thought some of her answers might not have given the candidate the full picture, and that in order to screen for people who will be the right fit for the role, it might make sense to talk about X, Y, and Z. (Really, it’s in your employer’s best interests to do this. Truth in advertising is how you hire people who will stay and not run away screaming when they see what they’ve gotten themselves into.)
3. Interviewers want to do third interview at a coffee shop
I had an interview with the SVP. Then I had another interview with another senior member of his team the following week. Both interviews went very well from my perspective.
After a week, I sent an email to the SVP inquiring the status of my candidacy. That afternoon, I got a call from the senior team member asking that she and the SVP “meet” with me for coffee outside of the office. What does this mean?
It means that they want to talk with you in a more casual environment, or that their office has loud construction that day, or that they feel like getting outside the office for coffee, or that they just like to inject some variety in the interview process. I wouldn’t read anything into it.
4. Letting customers into our store earlier than we officially open
I’m a assistant manager at a store. The store opens at 9 a.m., but during morning meetings I noticed customers arriving outside the store 10 to 15 minutes before we open. Some looked frustrated as they peered inside, so I started letting customers inside the store early.
The store manager told me that this was against company policy and told me to stop. I don’t agree with this policy and hate to see customers annoyed by waiting. Am I wrong to disagree with this policy? How can I persuade the manager to change the policy?
You should follow the policy your store manager has set, because there are good reasons for it. For one thing, if customers learn that they can come in early, you’re setting them and your coworkers up for frustration when they arrive early on a day you’re not there and aren’t allowed in. Also, your store may have an insurance policy that requires them to adhere to specific hours, or you might be renting space that restricts opening before a certain time.
It’s pretty normal for stores to have specific operating hours and to require employees to stick to those hours.
5. I said something weird during interview small talk
I have such a weird situation that happened, and I’m not even sure how I found myself in this position. I had an interview for a receptionist position the other day that went very well. I was a little intimidated by the second interviewer, even though she was really nice. We started talking about kids and school, and she said “Your kids are just starting school. Kindergarten?” I replied with “yes, my youngest.” The problem — my youngest is in fifth grade. I have NO idea why this slipped out of my mouth. Fast forward, and I have been offered the job. How do I bounce back from this? I obviously have to acknowledge this. How do I fix it?
This isn’t a big deal, and I don’t think you need to address it. There’s a good chance that your interviewer won’t even remember it (it sounds like small talk, not anything she would have been particularly focused on) and she probably talked to other candidates too, which can make stuff like this blurry.
If for some reason she asks you about it, just say, “I realized afterward that’s what I said, and I have no idea why — just interview nerves, I guess. My youngest is in fifth grade!” We all say weird things on occasion.
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advising a great applicant to run far away from my troubled office, husband wants to quit his job to job-search full-time, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.