It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. Boss asked me to be “brutally honest” during an exit interview
I resigned earlier this week with my department head. I would have liked to have done so with her assistant, who more closely manages me, but she is on vacation. This assistant is a difficult person to work for, and is quite a micromanager. I came to this organization brimming with excitement on making improvements and showing off my skill set. However every time I tried to innovate or be creative, the assistant would tell me exactly what I should do and how I should do it. She also tried what I believe was her attempt at diplomacy by being vague in how she told me to do things. This created unclear instructions, resulting in me having to redo my work sometimes up to 10 times to suit her particular taste. Over the course of just under a year, I lost the motivation to innovate or create new things. I read in a Linkedin posting, “To innovate and create one has to be allowed mistakes, creating new processes, formulating new ideas requires freedom. ” I don’t feel that I was ever afforded that freedom and I began to feel like I was not trusted to do the job I was hired for.
The position has had very high turnover. I am one in a long line of people who have come to the same conclusion in my position for the same reasons, according to several trusted coworkers. At this point, I am happy to just move on and chalk it up. However, the department head has requested that I join her for lunch next week for an exit interview. She is well aware of the assistant’s management style, as several people in the organization refuse to work with her. She specifically asked that I be “brutally honest,” forthright, and open about my reasons for wanting to leave. So many of the sites I’ve looked for advice on say to steer clear of exit interviews because I have nothing to gain and a lot to lose. That being said, I think this department head wants something concrete to bring to the higher-up’s and seems to be pleading with me to help.
I want to be honest, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.
Yeah, I’d bet she’s looking either for ammunition to address a problem she already knows about (although as the department head I’m not sure why she’d need it) or insight into something she suspects is happening but which she doesn’t details about.
Do you know her to be a reasonable and sensible person who handles bad news well and doesn’t shoot the messenger? If so, I’d be honest with her, as long as your future references are going to come from her and not the assistant, and as long as she agrees to give you whatever type of confidentiality you want to ask for. (For example, you might agree to let her share your input with her own manager, but not to be quoted directly to the assistant.)
If you don’t think she’s particularly reasonable or that she handles bad news well, or if you don’t believe she’s capable of effectively using your input to change anything, then there’s no point in being anything but vague. (Or, alternately, there’s a middle ground, which is “I think Jane is looking for someone to execute activities she assigns and has trouble trusting people she assigns work to, whereas I was looking for a role with more room to use my skills and judgment.”)
2. My boss ignores my emails if they don’t require a response
I work for a small, family-owned business. There are a number of issues, but what bothers me the most is that my boss — the co-owner of the company — ignores my emails.
These emails don’t require a response (most of them notify her that I will be working from home, am out sick, etc.) but I feel that it’s unprofessional and downright rude. While a response is not necessary, an acknowledgment would be nice. I feel ignored and disrespected. Should I say something?
No! Email that don’t require a response … don’t require a response, by definition. It’s true that it’s some people’s style to respond to everything anyway, even if just to say “okay!” or “thanks for letting me know,” but that’s not everyone’s style and it’s not rude not to reply.
It sounds like you have lots of other issues with this company, and I suspect that’s impacting how you see this. But this in and of itself isn’t something to feel disrespected over, and it’s definitely not something you have standing to complain to your boss about.
3. Another job candidate and I were asked to give presentations in front of each other
I was selected for a final interview for a job. HR asked me to prepare an analysis document for the company and that the interview would last three hours. I spent over 30 hours to prepare myself for a three-hour discussion about the company.
The big surprise when I got there: the presentation was going to last only 20 minutes and therefore was truncated. The other finalist was there and did the same — a 20-minute presentation — in front of me and the interviewers. The other candidate was at least 10 years younger, did not deliver the document in time, and his analysis was for sure not as good as mine.
Then the interview panel left the two of us alone and asked us to perform a competitive and a cooperative exercise. Even worse, the company was aware that my knowledge of their language was good but limited, while the other candidate was a native speaker. I felt that bad that I cold not understand what I was asked on the notes left. When HR came back, I decided to quit the interview process and went away, telling the other candidate “congratulations, you got the job.”
Is this recruiting process a common practice? How can I provide anonymous feedback on websites and prevent legal actions, given that I’d be easily identifiable?
Nope, not common and not reasonable. Making candidates gather in the same room and compete with each other is not good practice.
You could certainly describe the experience on Glass Door. You might be identified by the company, but the legal risk is low (I want to say non-existent because it’s not illegal to accurate report on facts that happened, but you can theoretically be sued over anything — it’s just highly, highly unlikely in this case.)
Also! Do not spend 30 hours preparing work as part of a try-out unless you’re paid for it. 30 hours of prep not reasonable, and a company that expects it of you (I can’t tell if they did here or not) is not one you want to work for.
4. How should we handle a difference in employee discounts?
I work for a small retail business cofounded by my sister-in-law. After she became the sole owner, she hired me. For a while it was just her and I running things, plus one or two part-time employees packing orders. During that time, she was okay with me taking a certain budget’s worth of items from the store inventory (we had a set amount I could take per month), particularly since my wearing them/posting photos and tutorials on social media is part of my role in the business and increases sales.
We have grown and now have more employees, resulting in the need for an official employee discount policy. The number agreed upon for part-time workers was 50% off retail. This was so different from what I had been getting that I felt guilty about it, and my SIL agreed that from now on I would pay wholesale price for whatever I took, instead of getting a certain amount free.
We recently hired a new business manager who is full-time and salaried, like myself. Technically she is my superior, though she does not directly supervise most of my responsibilities. She heard about the employee discount of 50% and now goes by this for her own purchases. She doesn’t know that I have official permission to purchase at wholesale, and neither do any of the part-timers. This is making me feel like I am dealing under the table, even though my SIL has said that if anyone notices the prices on my orders she’d be happy to explain to them.
I don’t want anyone in the packing room to think I’m fudging my discount (it happens that I am also the one who makes/issues the employee discount codes) or stealing from the business, nor do I want our manager to feel like she is being treated unfairly. Because of this, I’ve been avoiding ordering for some time, even though there are things I’d love to buy. What is the best course of action here?
I don’t think it’s outrageous for you to continue with the plan to pay wholesale, but your sister-in-law should explain to others that you were grandfathered into that plan because of your longevity with the store (or that it’s because of the social media work that you do featuring the items). But if you’re uncomfortable with that, then I’d think your only other option is to switch to the 50% off discount that everyone else uses.
I wouldn’t keep the wholesale price plan without telling others about it though. Otherwise you’re going to feel like you’re sneaking something that you shouldn’t have to be covert about.
5. Is it reasonable to require employees to find their own coverage if they want time off?
I’m a new admin manager at my company and I support several departments with small teams. When a person wishes to schedule time off for vacation, even if it is a month in advance, the manager tells them find someone to work for them. If they can’t find anyone to work for them, (in one case it’s just two transportation drivers and the same one is always scheduled for Sundays), they are denied vacation. It is such a common practice that the employees feel guilty about taking time off!
I hate to rock the boat, but I feel like a reasonable request of time off should be accommodated and it should be the managers responsibility to cover or make arrangements. Is this a common practice?
It’s not uncommon, but you’re right that it’s really, really crappy. It’s a practice that you tend to see at crappier employers who don’t particularly care about attracting or retaining great people (because great people will not stick around long with this kind of practice). Since you’re in a management role, I urge you to speak up about changing it — or just to change it for the people you manage. A more reasonable policy is for the manager to find coverage for the person, when coverage is needed, so that people aren’t dependent on the good will of their coworkers in order to be able to use the benefits included in their compensation.
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boss asked me to be “brutally honest,” manager ignores my emails, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.