After having my second child, I realized that she is completely different from her sister. She acts different, she has a different temperament, heck, she even cried different. I knew I was in for a treat. I say I was spoiled by my first child who was quiet, had the ability to play alone and never really bothered me. My second is a complete polar opposite! Always wants me, interactive and always getting into trouble. As we approach February, aka Love Month in our house, I thought to myself, am I loving my children the way they need to be loved?
As a social worker, one of my go to books for couples is The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Recently, I came across his books for children. I started reading it and couldn’t put it down. I never realized as a mom, to ask myself, am I loving my child the way they need to be loved? Is this the reason for the outcries from my oldest for attention? Am I filling her love tank on a daily basis?
The authors explain that every child expresses and receives love best through one of five communication styles: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
Michaela, my youngest daughter, is only 20 months, but I know her love language is physical touch. She loves to be held, greeted and picked up when you come home from a long day at work, wanting to read stories together in her dad’s lap. He makes her feel safe and she enjoys it.
Natalee was a struggle for me, she was recently diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum and she is socially awkward at times. I always thought she was quality time, but then I realized, no, that was me wanting to spend quality time with her. After taking the quiz I realized my daughter is more of a “gifts” love language. She loves when I pull surprise cookies out of my purse or when I buy a small inexpensive toy from the store. She really enjoys when I surprise her with a bagel from her favorite shop.
After reading the book I realized I need to connect with my children on their level, not mine. I need to fill their love tank in the way they need to be loved. As we approach Valentine’s Day, sometimes it’s not always about couples. It can also be about the family. Are your children’s love tanks full?
For more resources and to take the Love Language Quiz Please Visit
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/children/
Do you know your child’s love language? How do you fill your child’s love tank?