(Or The One where Zhang Peng invents online shopping several hundred years early. Well, without the ‘online’ part, anyway. Oh, you’ll see what I mean soon enough.)
http://www.viki.com/videos/1095562v-go-princess-go-episode-11
http://www.dramakiwi.com/2016/01/go-princess-go-recap-ep-11.html
This week’s non-Exiern featured item is the film “The Skin I Live In”.
I’m not going to say anything about it except that I think you should see it. It’s really good but can be quite harrowing, so check the ratings of the movie and see if you think this is for you. Best to go in totally blind but here’s the official trailer. However, a lot of the comments do say that they think it gives away too much plot. So, it’s up to you, really if you watch the trailer. Though I guess it is fair to say that scientific progress can leave a lot of failed experiments and test subjects in its wake, I really wouldn’t want to be the person tasked with digging up the floor of that basement to find out what’s buried here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOto6S0Rz64
One thing I will say as a lesson to take away from this film or even this trailer is that if you own a firearm, please don’t leave it loaded in desk and kitchen drawers. It would save a lot of people a lot of grief if they didn’t do things like this. Definitely in this film and history clearly shows continuously what happens with poorly or unsecured firearms in real life as well.
Maybe these clips might be better than the actual trailer instead to give you an idea of what the films like without giving away too much:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xjlPmPBbh8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9Af2bG42dE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVUrdWQqN74
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7kJBJ3Gkpg
OK, out of context, maybe that all skews a bit too far in the opposite direction. All I can say, it’s a potentially disturbing film but I liked it.
Great soundtrack too, this is the music from the trailer.
Live in Copenhagen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4dmy4RpSWU
Original Soundtrack Version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aZyEThH__4
OK, now on with this week’s episode of Go Princess Go.
Qi Sheng tells Zhang Peng the story of how he thinks they first met – when he was nine (he may have met Zhang Peng Peng when he was nine but little does he know this is no longer Zhang Peng Peng).
Zhang Peng has found himself having to regularly deal with the other wives and their problems. Not what he had in mind when he first wanted to spend a lot of time with them.
Zhang Peng has the idea of inventing online shopping to keep the other wives distracted so that they won’t bother him with their problems. Given that all the hardware and infrastructure needed for the World Wide Web is a few centuries away, he ends up skipping that side of things. Somehow it still seems to work somehow.
Looks like we skipped the actual ceremony given we cut to Zhang Peng and Lu Li describing what happened. As one of the comments from the top of the screen postulated, “No budget.”. As anyone who’s had to sit through a royal wedding, even just watching it on television, thank heavens for small mercies, this is actually a good thing. Zhang Peng wants to celebrate by getting drunk but Lu Li still wants to wax rhapsodically about the ceremony. Especially about how it looked when the Emperor and Empress left the hall hand in hand and that the Empress has life with the Emperor to look forward to.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t know what we know and this all has much less appeal to Zhang Peng for far too many reasons to list and he scowls before saying “Lu Li, won’t you die if you don’t ruin my day?”. It’s clear to us that certain things were done with no romantic intent but to both keep up appearances and for leverage in the future. Of course, as we’ve learned to expect by now, that’s when the Emperor himself, Qi Sheng chooses to appear in person.
No-one’s wasting time these days and it’s straight to the thinly disguised contempt. Straight off demand by Zhang Peng as to why he’s even here in the first place. Not the greatest signs in a supposed married relationship if you’re viewing this from outside. Qi Sheng does say “I am so happy I came.” but the look on his face, even compensating for the lack of expression on his face that botox would be hard pressed to match seems to clearly suggest otherwise. Basically, insert the image file of Ron Burgundy with the caption I DON’T BELIEVE YOU. Fortunately, he does also say “Don’t worry, I’m not saying” in close temporal proximity to this (that’s my fancy way of saying I can’t remember which was said first), much to the relief of all of us and especially Zhang Peng.
Zhang Peng had thought he was coming over for other purposes, so that’s why he’d turned down more alcohol on the grounds that he’s been drinking quite a lot already. He also most definitely does not want a repeat of the debacle of last time this scenario played out, either. Just in case anyone reading this doesn’t know this, men’s and women’s bodies metabolise alcohol differently and on average, women need less to get drunk. How big you are and how much you weigh can also have an effect as well. No specific guidelines on men in women’s bodies but I’m inclined to think from a physiological point of view, that doesn’t change anything. Typh during the course of Exiern has certianly shown times when he can’t handle alcohol like he used to.
http://responsibility.org/blog/erin-holmes-how-alcohol-interacts-with-the-body/
http://responsibility.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Men_Versus_Women_Gender_Virtual_Bar.jpg
Like I’ve always said, we’re trying to make this as educational as possible. Just wait until you see the Exiern Health and Lifestyle blog (Coming Soon! (™))
Anyway, for some reason, Qi Sheng has decided to drop by to drop an info dump. Lucky for us in the audience, isn’t it? He says that a lot of people believed he was made Crown Prince and hence first in line to be Emperor because people thought he was very intelligent, clever, and sensible. I’m honestly not sure which people he’s talking about, exactly but OK, let’s run with that for now in order to see where this is going.
Turns out that wasn’t really the case (O RLY? Well, color me shocked, shocked, I tell you). Apparently, his grandfather requested the previous Emperor, his father to make him Crown Prince [NB: I'm a bit confused, I thought before this that his grandfather was the previous emperor and they skipped over his father or something. The information seemed to be presented that way earlier. If that's a script thing, a translation thing or just my misunderstanding, I don't know. Also, it doesn't really matter either way].
The reason was that one day when he was nine, both he (the Third Brother) and the Ninth Brother went to the Zhang household and he went to play with Zhang Peng Peng while the Ninth Brother was all responsible like and wanting to hang with his grandfather. Apparently, that was all that was needed for his grandfather to insist that he, the Third Brother be made to be first in line to be Emperor one day. That’s because it reminded him of when he first met his wife (and grandmother of Qi Sheng). Various religious figures, not just one wept at this. If this is how leaders were chosen back in the day, no wonder there were so many revolutions – but the Chinese one – and actually China itself aren’t on the horizon yet, so that’s all for another day a long time from now.
Anyway, Zhang Peng thinks that’s lovely but that’s all in the past now and one must look to the future, the subtext being like you leaving now. Qi Sheng must have picked up on that as he then asks if Zhang Peng is trying to make him leave? Er … no? He goes anyway. At this point, in the most ridiculous of stage whispers (since they’re like 2 feet apart), Zhang Peng tells court official Qiang (who was accompanying the Emperor) to take Qi Sheng to You Lan palace as that’s where Zhao’s Wife is and she can do things for him so Zhang Peng doesn’t have to.
Qi Sheng is quite miffed at this and says rather loudly that no, they’re going to his official residence Da Ming. It must be frustrating for him that absolutely everyone seems to know about his clandestine affair and that the person who should be most jealous of it, actually seems to be trying to encourage it as much as possible. It might be a factor as to why he’s starting to show signs of losing interesting in cheating on his four wives. It’s worth also noting that Qiang is also a eunuch and not the only one on the staff, it’s worth remembering that there’s a lot of men around the palace don’t have their penises anymore either. Just thought I’d point that out (so what he was up to with Lu Li while Qi Sheng and Zhang Peng were talking does raise a great big question mark too).
Cut to the next scene and presumably the next day when Zhang Peng is asleep on a couch. OH WHAT A SURPRISE says no-one not sarcastically. That couch is kind of small too and that looks very uncomfortable but then we know Zhang Peng has the gift of being able to sleep just about anywhere. Lu Li come in and excitedly says that even though Qi Sheng went over to You Lan (where Zhao’s Wife is currently ensconced). I guess the interpretation there is that’s probably not really doing all that much with her. Zhang Peng’s all like WHO CARES? From Zhang Peng’s point of view, he has bits he doesn’t want to have but he’d want even less is someone putting their bits in his bits (again), so this arrangement actually works out for him as Qi Sheng is anywhere but here.
Does any of this situation remind you of anyone else you might know? (Typh – the answer is Typh in case you were wondering). Actually, it is worth remembering that for gay men, being turned into a biological woman in a homophobic society really isn’t a solution for their problems. In fact, it’s the opposite of a solution. Did Denver – remember him – get told by just the look Typh gave him for that ridiculous observation? Yes, yes he did. It’s also proof that you can read all the books you want but it doesn’t necessarily make you smart because smart people wouldn’t say things that could easily get them killed like that.)
Anyway, Zhang Peng makes the observation that with his promotion, looks like Lu Li was also promoted – to access a higher level of court gossip. Which she claims, and being her isn’t lying, for the benefit of the new Empress more than anything else. With great power comes great responsibility as the saying goes, and with less great power is fatuous nonsense like what is about to happen next.
Wives Two to Five have turned up demanding Great Justice. Apparently, this is a regular thing and Zhang Peng has clearly had enough of it. It’s like, no no,it’s the weekend, we’re closed, please go away. Lu Li says that instead, as the Empress, he should make them “submit with virtue”. What does that even mean? Obviously not that much as Zhang Peng drops an F-Bomb in Korean before going to deal with this. I think I’ve mentioned this before but for some who’s Chinese, Zhang Peng swears an awful lot in Korean.
As a side note, I guess all those years of language lessons weren’t wasted. Reminded me of the time I was on a flight to Seoul and the man in the seat in front of me got increasingly … well, wasted. He certainly ran through the full gamut of Korean swear words I knew and then some. Then, after the fist fight and attempted headlocks in the passenger cabin, luckily we landed and then he was met by the nice men from the Department of State Security or something like that and I never saw him again. Er, what was I talking about again?
Oh right. I’ll try and speed through the next bit as fast as possible because I didn’t find it that interesting, to be honest. Basically, under the guise of concern for the reputation of the now Empress, wives Two through to Five want justice for her because they say she’s being treated poorly. Zhang Peng is not fooled for a second and sees through this. What’s really going on is that before, they didn’t get all that much attention. Which was OK for them because at least all of them weren’t getting all that much attention.
The affair with Zhao’s Wife has thrown all this into a tailspin as at least they’re now official wives of the Emperor while Zhao’s Wife obviously was not, on account of being officially married to Prince Zhao for just for starters.
At this point, I’d like to point out that what’s been demonstrated here is a very real piece of political psychology. Offer people a theoretical situation where they’ll benefit but other people around them (who they’ll never meet) benefit more as opposed to not improving their situation but not improving anyone else’s, people often opt for the latter. It’s all like Keeping Up With the Jones, I don’t care if I don’t move as long as they don’t either as opposed to their widening the gap between me and them. Even if I get more, I don’t want them moving further ahead of me.
Even scarier, sometimes people don’t mind their situation being made worse if other people’s are made even worse. It’s going to be a long time until November, isn’t it? (I’m not even American nor live in America but that doesn’t change anything).
Anyway, this all comes across in some initially decidedly creepy speaking in unison about the hangers-on of Zhao’s Wife saying the Empress shows fake concern, poor taste and is cruel and scheming in wanting to get the Emperor’s attention. That’s all quite funny because it really is quite the opposite. Then that’s all followed up by some ridiculous fake crying (also in unison) until it’s derailed by one of them being even more fake to the point where everybody and everything around them ground to a halt in the face of this ridiculous display.
Then everything jumps a track when it’s noticed that all the fake crying is making one of their number’s makeup run. This complete derailment is followed by a discussion about where to find waterproof makeup and everyone seems to have completely forgotten why they were here in the first place and then they take off to go shopping, leaving Zhang Peng wondering what the hell just happened here and to the calls for so-called justice for me then? Actually, the more I think about it, it seems increasingly likely that Zhang Peng actually died and clearly he went to Hell. That would explain a lot given the look of suffering on his face through all of this.
Yet another important point, men and women can be extremely different and this all drives home the point that despite appearances, Zhang Peng really is still a man and even if he wasn’t a time traveler, still from a completely different world to the women of the Imperial Palace.
The next scene finds Zhang Peng back in his very modern looking pajamas and the return of that extremely stinky durian fruit he likes brought by Lu Li, who clearly still isn’t used to it as she’s holding her nose. Zhang Peng has a problem to ponder. He’s always liked women but he’s never wanted to have to talk to them this much and especially about these things. Somehow he’s ended up Head of the First Wives Club in dealing with all their problems and to be honest, he was the kind who was notorious for creating problems for women, not solving them as evidenced by how he ended up here in the first place.
At this point, he has the bright idea of maybe if he can distract the women in his life (but not how he wanted them) with something like shopping, he won;t have to worry about all these things anymore. I really want to know what his job was back in our time. I wonder if it was marketing?
So, next scene sees him with Qi Sheng and trying to convince him to allow Zhang Peng to start what he calls his online shopping idea. Qi Sheng says no, they already have a perfectly serviceable four markets creatively named North, South, East, and West. Zhang Peng makes him an offer he can’t refuse to change his mind. Firstly with the flattery that everything he does, it’s for the benefit of Qi Sheng (so obviously not, then).
He then follows it up with the embarrassment factor disguised as concern; point blank telling Qi Sheng that everyone knows about Zhao’s Wife in Yon Lau palace and that it’s upsetting a lot of people – yet no-one will tell him – but here’s the solution, let me do this and they’ll be too distracted to think about it. Looks like it’s already made its first sale as Qi Sheng changes his mind. Nothing like a little humiliation about how you’re not as clever as you think you are to kick things along, is there?
So a few things happen in quick succession, Zhang Peng had called his new idea Ali Peng Peng (riff on Alibaba, I guess) and that the delivery service will be called Scud Delivery. I guess it’s based on a real thing. At some point,Zhang Peng broke out into an explosion of modern English to explain his concept which in its modern form is yet to be invented for some centuries yet, as is the case with the Internet, so that could be seen as an upcoming problem with this whole idea.
Right, a few more scenes to wrap this episode up. There’s the groans of the Ninth Brother and Yang Yan behind a shuddering wall of boxes, which topple to reveal – they both have sore wrists – from writing so much and addressing so many parcels. They clearly think the Empress is very smart to come up with ideas like this – if a little mad too.
The wives find this whole idea a big hit and come to the reasonable – if erroneous conclusion that the Zhang Peng is doing this to curry favour with Qi Sheng. They don’t care however and then discuss that they don’t care if they’re thought to be a ‘kiss ass’ if it gets them a discount. Conversation then devolves into who can be the biggest (and I quote) kiss ass and whether that can lead to even bigger discounts.
Prince Zhao has ended up with the job of actually delivering the parcels and the guards all want to help. Problem is, none of them can read. I must stress at this point, the importance of funding education. High-speed montage of Prince Zhao running about with parcels follows while the guards are all lying around sleeping while he eventually collapses in what I hope is an exhaustive stupor for once instead of the usual drunken one.
It’s nice to see everyone getting along for once.
It can’t last.
Miscellaneous Details:
This is more to do with last week but I forgot to reiterate but Zhang Peng Peng and Zhao’s Wife aren’t immediate blood relatives, so Zhang Peng trying to feel her up last episode is slightly less creepy as they’re not that closely related. She’s mentioned again this week as Zhang Peng asks about her in relation to the story of how Zhang Peng Peng and Qi Sheng first met. Turns out her parents were still alive then and hence she hadn’t been sent to live with the Zhangs at that time.
Court official Qiang seemed to be getting unusually friendly with Lu Li earlier in the episode, also he’s the one who brought Lu Li to Zhang Peng earlier in that military camp when he was left behind as everyone else returned to the palace on the news of the previous Emperor’s death. The very last scene of this episode sees him penning a letter to his ‘little apple’. What could possibly be going on here? I suspect we’ll find out soon enough. Maybe even next week, perhaps.
Yes, there’s some obvious innuendo about the Ninth Brother and Yang Yan. There’s going to be more. I feel it’s actually better to make this one clear because it actually makes future scenes better and funnier with this knowledge. This is not the case where one, the other or both are secretly infatuated with each other. This is a genuine 100% high octane bromance. Yang Yan genuinely wants to help his best friend the Ninth Brother with whatever he wants to set out to do and though sometimes things might seem at first glance to be potentially interpreted as something more than that, it never really is anything other than the innocuous side of things and the most benign possible explanation, which is both nice for a change and actually a lot more entertaining in this particular show and its context. Obviously, they play up the misinterpretation angle for as much as it’s worth in the show but it is refreshing to see that it’s actually all quite innocent at the end of the day instead of the usual hackneyed and overdone (and often poorly at that) other possibilities. I like it that this show isn’t mean-spirited (at least most of the time and I don’t think it’s intentional if it ever could be taken that way).
Prince Zhao seems happy, not drunk, industrious and it’s implied that he’s even forgiven for his past transgressions given he’s responsible for an important job. It can’t last.
Looks like the lack of Internet nodes (and technology as we know it generally) has been worked around by getting people to deliver handwritten messages and parcels by hand really fast. This was actually much of human civilization and surprisingly effective all things considered.