I never really understood the whole idea of “shadeism” until I was in high school, and even then I didn’t know there was a word for it.
I’m Filipino, and grew up in military bases across SoCal (both my parents emigrated to the US from Pampanga, Philippines). Because of this I was always surrounded by other Filipinos and felt solace in knowing that, in an area filled mostly with Latinos and Whites, I had some friends who I could relate to with family/cultural things. Back then, I never really noticed skin tone because I was too busy playfully trashtalking my Filipino friends about “how my mom makes the best lumpia and ginataang and your argument is invalid” and stuff like that. I found out later that it generally boiled down to the region the kids’ parents came from (most of my friends were Ilocano or from the Pangasinan area, and I guess those populations tended to be pretty tan? Honestly I have no idea if this is even accurate since I’ve only visited Manila and the Pampanga region).
That last bit is important because fast-forward to high school in San Diego, and I’m sitting next to my darker, Ilocano friend. It’s English class, and we had a substitute teacher. Instead of the quiet, librarian-esque white woman we had as our normal teacher, we had this old white guy who retired from the military after some time to become a teacher. He regaled the other Filipino girls in my class about his time in the Philippines and the things he’s experienced and the food he came to love and whatnot. In short, he was acting like the “cool teacher” that we could relate to or whatever.
When my friend and I hear the stuff he’s talking about we start making jokes about the things our family tends to do that annoy the crap out of us (like how parents will scream out your name from like the farthest corner of the house and you literally just run over to them thinking “oh shit i’m in trouble” and then they ask for something like “*filipino accent* can you grab the remote control and change the channel for me, anak?” even though the remote was literally just sitting there 5 feet away, or like how they describe things in such a strange way that us, as American-raised children, can’t fathom the logic that brought them to use such words to describe said thing).
The substitute hears us, and sauntering over to my end of the classroom, says, “you shouldn’t be mocking other people like that, that’s a rude thing to do.”
I tell him, “it’s okay, I was just talking about my family. you know, Filipino jokes that only Filipino kids can understand and relate to.”
I shit you not, this man starts eyeing me suspiciously and says, “You’re not Filipino!”
I gave him the same look and said, “YES I AM, my family is from Pampanga, you know, where the PRESIDENT OF THE COUNTRY CAME FROM?”
And he sort of just…leans back in his posture, as if to say “Oh okay good, so you WEREN’T lying,” but then does a bit of a double take and looks at me again, eyeing me in that weird way. Then he had the gall to say, “So then you’re like an albino Filipino, then, right? You’re so pale!”
I’m sorry, what? Did you just decide to equate me to being someone that has an actual congenital disorder and other’d me within my own ethnicity? AFTER you called me a liar about my own fucking heritage? Since when in the hell were you appointed The Decider in who was or who wasn’t Filipino? So, basically, on top of being asked (due to my skin tone) if I was Mexican or Chinese (because my eyes apparently aren’t “mexican enough” nor “asian enough”), I’m now being told that I’m not what I actually am simply due to the fact that I’m paler than the Filipino girl next to me? And all because some white guy who swears he knows what Filipinos are were only used to seeing the “tan, exotic” ones.
I don’t know where that man is today, but jesus christ on a stick that infuriated me so much. If I could, I’d run back to that point in time and call him out on all that shadeist, racist bullshit that just happened. Then I’d end with a simple “fuck off, you know nothing of my parents’ motherland”. Oh, if only if only.
Mod note
I have definitely had teachers who were retired military and tried talking to me about the Philippines and all the random shit they think they know about Filipin@s. It’s super gross and infuriating and I’m really sorry that someone who is supposed to be your educator would spew such garbage at you. Your ethnic identity should not be invalidated by how light or dark your skin is.
I am gonna have to correct you on your use of the term “shadeism” though. Shadeism is the preferential treatment given to lighter-skinned people of color than darker-skinned people of color. The fact that most Filipin@ actors and actresses are light-skinned is an example of shadeism. Dark skinned poc being pressured to use skin-lightening products is another. What your teacher said to you is still horribly ignorant though.