Relationships can be wonderful but they can also be difficult and emotionally draining, especially when we repeat the same destructive cycles over and over again. The people we attract and the relationships we develop are determined by our own psychology, past experiences and behaviours. By addressing the issues within ourselves around how we approach and maintain relationships, we can change destructive patterns that may have been repeating themselves for years.
Whether the issues manifest themselves as a fear of commitment, attraction to the wrong type of partner, jealousy or mistrust, it’s easy to see how our own personal issues can have a huge effect on even the happiest of relationships.
Know Yourself
This is often easier said than done but knowing what makes you tick, what you look for in a relationship and what your triggers are, is key to developing a healthy bond with someone else. We are usually attracted to people who make us feel good about ourselves so it’s beneficial for us to know what we’re looking for.
If we’re looking for the wrong things – for example co-dependency, control, or self-assurance – this can result in bad choices or unfair expectations. Individual relationship coaching can help you address these issues within yourself and discover the true reasons behind your relationship problems.
Build Your Self Worth
The key to being happy in a relationship is learning to be happy alone. Measuring your self-worth by your value to another person isn’t healthy and can make us clingy or needy. It’s good to have your own friends, hobbies and passions in life. Learn to be happy spending time with yourself before adding someone else’s needs into the mix.
Learn How To Handle Difficulties
All relationships face difficulties that need to be handled with care. If you’re not comfortable with conflict, it’s possible that you have a history of letting people dictate to you. Work with someone to build your confidence, learn how to say no, and to deal with conflict responsibly and healthily.
Good communication skills and emotional intelligence are key to healthy relationships. Learn what conflicts can be worked through together and what behaviour is unacceptable to you or your partner.
Take Responsibility
When you seek help from a relationship coach you’re taking responsibility for your own role in your relationships. You might find that your fear or anger cause you to start arguments with your partner or place blame on them. It’s important that you address your own behaviour and accept responsibility for your part in any problem or destructive cycle. Our own negative past experiences are usually the best indicator of our future unless we address them or change something.
Develop Trust
If you’ve been mistreated in the past, or your parents had a negative relationship, you might find your ability to trust other people has been damaged. Trust is vital in relationships, so rebuilding this ability within yourself is key to your future happiness. I have helped many people find the cause of their mistrust, move on and change their destructive thinking patterns permanently.
What Next?
If you’d like to discuss the issues in the article in more detail or you’re ready to book a free consultation please do get in touch. Everyone deserves to be happy. However bad things might seem, don’t give up. I have helped many people find new happiness with relationship coaching and I could help you too.
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