Share: 
Losing control of your anger on a regular basis may mean that there’s an underlying issue requiring a little probing into. To diagnose an anger management problem, a mental health professional will look at patterns or trends in an individual’s behaviour, taking into account their physical and emotional symptoms as well. Anger is a completely normal and healthy emotion, but we don’t all manage it well. Losing our cool from time to time doesn’t mean we have anger management issues.
Disappointments in life can make us angry or upset. They happen to anyone at any time and quite often do.
Situations that can result in anger
• The car won’t start in the morning making you late for work
• A huge bill arrived in the post
• Your spouse said the wrong thing
• Something isn’t where you left it
• Things didn’t go according to plan
• The house floods
When there’s excessive anger present lasting for long periods of time, even over days, weeks, months or years it can be really harmful to the self as well as affecting others around us. When our anger results in violent and aggressive behaviour we need to seek the help of a professional counsellor who can help uncover underlying issues at play that haven’t yet been resolved.
Suppressed anger controlled by fear and shame
Suppressed anger or unresolved anger is probably the worst type of anger that flows out of the core of a person impacting on their thinking, behaviour, choices and how they deal with difficult situations. Suppressing anger does nothing to eliminate it and robs a person of any emotional security, destroying any true peace of mind and their overall sense of well being.
Growing up angry
some families children who are taught to hide their real feelings and emotions viewed by the adults as a weakness learn to suppress them. Some kids do this out of fear and shame. When we don’t teach children techniques to manage their emotions they learn to suppress their feelings. As a result they can become angry. In a healthy environment the expression of anger is allowed and anger management is taught. Traumatic experiences during childhood, teen years and as adults can leave a lot of unresolved anger in a person. Adults who have anger management issues can also learn anger management skills to benefit every area of their life.
The Neurochemical in Anger used to self soothe
During anger arousal the brain secretes a hormone called norepinephrine, experienced by the organism as an analgesic. The hormone designed to numb physical or psychological pain is released during anger when a person is confronted either of the two. It can also be accompanied by an adrenaline rush. Some people can become addicted to their anger due to feeling empowered by it.
“If anger can help us self-medicate against all sorts of psychological pain, it is equally effective in helping ward off exasperating feelings of powerlessness” Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D.
Real Empowerment
For some people the idea of remaining angry and not forgiving others who have hurt them can give a false sense of security as a form of self empowerment. However, anger and unforgiveness matures into bitterness.
Actions can’t be taken back by those that hurt us. What forgiveness does is it frees us from the energy drain and burden of maintaining that connection with the past. Forgiveness heals and frees a person empowering them to move forward. It can be extremely difficult to forgive someone; it’s a liberating and healing experience for those who do.
Basically if we don’t forgive we are permitting the past to keep hurting us repeatedly over and over again. To recover lost energy we need to extend forgiveness and reclaim our lives moving forward in victory.
We often carry guilt, self judgement and condemnation that is harmful to us. As a result we may also need to forgive ourselves.
When we take responsibility for ourselves, we begin to heal and grow.
Romans 12:2
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Sources
Ways to Deal with Anger in the Christian Perspective – Seattle Christian Counselling – Rick McGregor
http://seattlechristiancounseling.com/blog/2013/08/07/6-ways-to-deal-with-anger-in-christian-perspective/Leon F Seltzer Ph.D. Evolution of the Self – What your anger may be hiding.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200807/what-your-anger-may-be-hiding
Image courtesy of: www.freedigitalphotos.com/
Where to get help
A Doctor can point you in the right direction if you’re unable to find a counsellor in your area.
Search for a counsellor near you – www.theaca.net.au
Lifeline – A free 24 hour Crisis Counselling service – 13 11 14
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Kids Help Line – 1800 55 1800 – http://kidshelpline.com.au/Men’s Line Australia – 1300 789 978 – 24/7 Men’s counselling and online support service. https://www.mensline.org.au/emotions-and-mental-wellbeing/mental-wellbeing-for-men
Share:
Follow aifc: