Home is where your story begins.
I have always loved that quote, partly because I am a homebody by trait, but also because it’s so true.
We were late for TDM yesterday, which caused unnecessary extra stress. From 3:45 -9:15 am, all the what-if’s came and went. My gut told me it would go off without a hitch, but there was still the unknown lingering.
TDM
I told you all about TDM on Monday, and as soon as we arrived it promptly started. The room was tiny, and all parties were there except for birth parents which was our greatest fear. As I mentioned Monday, we never had to do TDM with Samarah, so I had no idea how they played out.
The way they play is out that the facilitator stands at a white board and writes down everything discussed from the past, future and present and then a moving forward plan is made. Everyone there has input and time to give thoughts, ask questions and are able to ensure that all bases have been covered.
We all agreed that no information which was discussed in that room would or could leave that room. They maintain strict privacy, and I appreciate that.
Outcome
But as far as the outcome is concerned, I am clearly able to tell you this. It was agreed upon by all parties involved that the very best thing for the little man was to come permanently live with Ryan, Samarah and I. And with that, it was decided that the current foster mom would send him directly home with us, with one small bag for overnight. She would gather the rest of this things, and then the next day (today) she will meet me to deliver all final items.
Happy, with Tears
When the meeting let out, I went to the bathroom to change the little man with current foster mom. We talked a little and then met Ryan in the front on her way out (we had to stay at the office for awhile for some more paperwork). As she got ready to leave, she began her short goodbyes to the baby.
I was holding him, she was giving him kisses. “You be good,” she said, “goodbye.”
When she turned and walked away, a tear dropped from my eye.
It was never her intention to adopt him (or any of the other 250+ children she’s fostered), but can you even imagine having a baby from (almost) birth and then saying goodbye when they have almost reached a year old?
She was really a gem to him and for him for so long that listening to her goodbye and watching her walk away was sad.
She once told me that she does what she does so that the little guys have a fighting chance at life. When you don’t get your child until s/he is almost 10-months old that is the best case scenario you can hope for, that they have come from a place where someone is giving them that fighting chance in the early days of life.
Home
He made not a peep on the way home and fell asleep shortly before we arrived home. Samarah’s eyes lit up when she saw him, “Baby!” (But guys, don’t let her excitement for the new baby make you think that she isn’t still a normal toddler with mixed emotions sometimes about a new baby in the house. We definitely have that, too.)
Ryan had to be gone the rest of the day and night, so I spent the day with the both of them.
We ventured out to the grocery store in the afternoon after naptime for the first time – just them and me. He loves the Ergobaby carrier (thank God), so I put him in there, Samarah in the cart.
He is clingy, very clingy and putting him down is rarely an option.
I have my work cut out for me ahead, that’s for sure. We all need to figure each other out, find a routine and get into a new groove.
But our new baby is home, and a new adventure is now officially beginning.
p.s. What’s his name? I’ll share soon likely. We are changing it from his birth name, and yesterday we got the approval from the adoptions worker to use the new name because she “anticipates the adoption to go quick.” More on that later.
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Xox,
SKH
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