Image credit: MariaKang.com
In the wake of the “Motivational Photo that Failed to Motivate” heard ’round the world, the internet has exploded in what sometimes feels like a tired dialogue surrounding women and body image. But when attempted motivation fails to motivate it can often be because it’s judgmental and that feels totally different, doesn’t it?
When Maria Kang posted a photo of herself in skin-tight, barely there workout clothing surrounded by her three young children, she made a bold declaration on the benefits of hard work. Had she posted that photo without a caption, it may not have travelled outside her relatively small circle of influence. But taking it just a step further, Kang captioned her photo with a bold question: What’s Your Excuse?
I get why she did that. It’s a marketing strategy that has been used over and over. Her caption wasn’t cutting edge, especially in the world of health and fitness, so why all the hoopla?
I can see, and argue, this photo from two different viewpoints. From Kang’s point of view, posting a photo that highlights the results of her hard work is a brilliant bit of self-promotion. Surrounding herself with her three kids adds interest to the photo, because the context changes. All young mothers understand how hard it is to lose those pesky pregnancy pounds, and with each child, the task of slimming down gets more and more difficult.
Posting her photo the way she did gave Kang a chance to push against the idea that losing baby weight is too difficult, too impossible. For her boldness, her dedication, and her hard work, I applaud her.
However, I also see this from the point of view of those who felt slighted and judged. As women, we constantly feel the pressure of having to look our best. We are unendingly bombarded with images in magazines touting the bodies of the rich and famous in bikinis two minutes after giving birth, and we feel the pressure of trying to keep up.
Side note: When I had my first child, I actually packed my pre-pregnancy clothes in my hospital bag before going into labor because I truly thought that once he was born my body would go back to it’s shape. I had no clue I’d go home from the hospital still wearing maternity clothes. No one told me that would happen, and I remember feeling shocked.
We work so hard as mothers. We wake up early to make sandwiches, dress small children, mix bottles, and force feed rice cereal to babies who delight in spitting it back at us.
We are up and down many, if not all, nights a week with sick children, bed wetters, babies, and bad dreams.
We are different shapes and sizes, genetically predisposed in ways that, many times, are beyond our control.
We want to keep up, but it feels impossible, because we’re just. so. tired. We have a million excuses for why we don’t look like Kang, and most of them are valid.
We expect Hollywood to rub our noses in the fact that we can’t keep up, but it’s easy enough to brush them off because we all know how much money it takes for those starlets to fit in their itty bitty dresses on the red carpet.
But a regular girl, a mom, one of us who dares to flaunt her post-birth body, mocking us with her tongue in cheek question?
That feels like a betrayal.
I get it – I really do. However, I think we could all perhaps take a minute to sit back and breathe deep. When I saw Kang’s photo, my initial reaction was neither anger nor annoyance. I saw a young mom who looked awesome, and good for her!
I have three children, and I don’t look like Maria Kang, but that’s okay. I’m not insulted by her photo, or it’s caption. In fact, I found myself nodding and thinking, I don’t have a great excuse.
I know that even if I worked hard, I would likely not look like Kang. I’m built and shaped differently, but the truth is, I don’t have a good excuse for not trying at all, and I think her intention when posting the photo was to get us thinking about our reasons for not taking care of our bodies.
Just because I am less fit doesn’t mean that I should feel judged by Maria Kang, and neither should you! Should Kang have posted the photo with the caption? Probably not. There are other ways she could have worded it to sound more motivational and less judgmental, to be sure.
I did it, and you can too! (That would have been an excellent caption. Too bad she didn’t ask me before posting…)
Despite her obvious blunder (and yes, I have read her attempts at apology), we would do well to offer a little grace. It was an attempt at motivation gone terribly wrong. Don’t take it personally, because I don’t believe it was meant to be personal.
What were your initial thoughts on Kang’s photo? Were you insulted, motivated, amused? We’d love to hear your point of view.
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