“[Valentine’s Day] was first associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the High Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.”
Since Geoffrey Chaucer is dead, the High Middle Ages (whatever that means) are over and there is no longer any such thing as courtly love, I think we can all agree that Valentine’s Day is pretty much unnecessary at this point. Not that I’m a bitter single person or anything, I just find it overrated. Just like I think I should receive Christmas presents year-round, and that I should be able to have fried turkey, sweet potato soufflé, homemade mac & cheese, and cornbread whenever I feel like it, and that if you love me, you should show me all the time.
I specifically enjoy being single because my parents (bless their hearts) have been together for, what seems like, a smooth 58 years (actually 20) and constantly feel sorry for me on February 14h. The reason why this is so glorious is because they SHOWER me with presents. Candy, Beats headphones, gift cards and, of course, their undying love. However, not everyone is quite as lucky and there’s no doubt that this can be difficult time to be alone. This is a guide for all of you, to help you get through these tough times.
Here are the 7 emotional stages of being single during the Valentine’s season:
1. Shock
The Holidays are over, you’re feeling pretty good about yourself because you made it through without killing your family despite them asking 375805 times when you’re going to bring a nice boy/girl home. You finally get to go back to your own home and prepare to hunker down for the winter only to realize the torture isn’t over — because Valentine’s Day is just lurking right around the corner. You’re not sure what to do or why you thought you were out of the woods yet.
2. Denial
No, this is not happening. It’s just another day, I’ll just make plans with my group of friends!….oh wait, everyone is taken.
3. Anger
BUT SERIOUSLY, WHO INVENTED THIS STUPID ASS HOLIDAY, IT’S NOT EVEN A REAL HOLIDAY. IT’S ALL ABOUT COMMERCIALISM AND PUMPING MONEY INTO AN ALREADY CORRUPT ECONOMY. I WILL NOT BUY INTO THE VALENTINE’S, CHOCOLATES OR ANYTHING ELSE.
4. Bargaining
Ok, maybe I’ll just go out of town! Take a soul-searching trip, or go out by myself! I don’t need an S.O. I’m strong all by myself!
5. Depression
Whatever, I’m gonna be alone forever.
6. Testing
Hmmm, maybe I’ll try to third-wheel it with my bestie. They’ve always been there for me, no way they’d let me down now!
7. Acceptance
You know what, it’s whatever. I don’t need this holiday. I don’t need to take myself out, and I don’t need anybody else to take me out either! I can both give and receive love all year round, whether it be from my friends, myself or a random stranger! If I’m fine being single every other day of the year, why should I be ashamed about it today? Also not everybody is upset on Valentine’s day, some of us just really don’t care.