2014-02-05

The Road to Wrestlemania was running at full speed as the New Age Outlaws defended their tag belts against the former champions, The Brotherhood (Goldust and Cody Rhodes)…inside a Steel Cage. Plus, Randy Orton began facing his Elimination Chamber opponents, one at a time.

Randy Orton came out to address the fans. He was still carrying both championship belts. Hopefully, by Wrestlemania, they will be able to afford to create a “New” belt. The announcers talked about how ticked off Randy Orton was. Orton will have to face: Sheamus, Antonio Cesaro, Christian, John Cena, and Daniel Bryan at the Elimination Chamber. JBL discussed how everything inside the E-Chamber would hurt you. Randy whined about how unfair the 5-on-1 match (as he saw it). Randy said The Authority was out to get him. Randy wanted to know how many times did he have to beat John Cena, Daniel Bryan and the others. Randy was confident that he would survive at E-Chamber and at Wrestlemania. Randy took shots at Batista’s muscularity. Randy told “Dave” that he (Randy) was better than Batista. Randy crowed about being the best of all times. Whatever.

The Authority (Stephanie and Triple H) came from the back. Stephanie so does the classical “little black dress” well. Stephanie told Randy to calm down. She mentioned how Randy was notorious for self-destruction. Stephanie warned Randy that he shouldn’t let things get to him. Randy countered that he was dealing with incredible odds. HHH said he knew Randy was facing impossible odds but “The Face of the WWE” shouldn’t be talking like that. HHH said The Authority might want to consider putting their faith in someone else. Stephanie said Randy would face each of his E-Chamber opponents, one-on-one. She said Randy would tonight face…Daniel Bryan. She suggested that they might consider him as the “New Face of the WWE”. HHH led the “Yes!” chant.

Michael Cole discussed how the New Age Outlaws took the tag straps from Cody Rhodes and Goldust. Bully Gunn got a blind tag and nailed the Famouser. Last week’s rematch never reached a conclusion, thanks to Brock Lesnar. Tonight’s tag match would be a modified Cage Match. Instead of escaping the cage, a pinfall or submission would have to happen inside the cage. The cage was only there to prevent outside interference. Seems kind of stupid, if you ask me.

Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns vs Rey Mysterio, Kofi Kingston and Big E. Langston

Six-Man Tag Team Match

Raw looked at the confrontation between The Shield and HHH. The Shield wanted to fight The Wyatt Family. HHH told The Shield to let it go but the boys in black refused. So, HHH made the six-man match for Elimination Chamber.

Langston and Dean to open. Collar and Elbow into a Side Headlock by Dean. Langston sent Dean into the corner and pounded away. Tag to Kofi. Ax Bomber to Dean’s arm. Dean threw Kofi down by the hair but a Kip Up led to a Kofi Arm Drag. Tag to Seth. Kofi with a Flying Elbow out of the Universal. Seth reversed a Whip but Kofi with the Monkey Flip and Flying Forearm. 2 count. Tag to Dean. Dean with wild shots and kicks. The ref pulled Dean back. Tag to Roman. Measured Punch by the next big superstar of the WWE (make book on it). He got a few shots in but tagged out to Seth. Rear Chin Lock into a Neck Wrench.

Kofi punched free but took an Elbow by Seth. Tag to Dean. Power Driver Elbow by Dean. Dean stomped on Kofi’s hand. Shoulder Thrust by Dean. Tag to Seth. Seth snapped Kofi’s neck over the top rope. Seth twisted on Kofi’s neck. Scoop Slam by Seth into a missed Flying Knee. Tag to Rey. Seated Senton by Rey, followed by the Hurancanrana. Rey rolled through a Powerbomb attempt and hit a Seated Dropkick. Seth sent Rey into the corner. Rey jumped on Seth’s neck. Modified Hart Attack by Roman and Seth. Raw went to a quick break.

Roman dragged Rey to the Shield’s area of the ring and slapped on a Rear Chin Lock. Rey kicked his way free. Roman with a Back Fist that laid out Rey. Dean tagged back in and caught Rey with a pair of Jumping Stomps. Knee Choke by Dean. Short Arm Clothesline by Dean. Dean with a variation of the Camel Clutch on Rey. Rey kicked Dean in the face to get free. Dean caught Rey and put him in the (Kevin) Sullivan Tree of Woe. Dean charged but Rey rolled up. Dean struck the ring post. Tag to Langston. Langston with a Spear on Roman. Flying Shoulder in the corner. Over Head Belly to Belly on the huge Samoan! Damn, that was impressive. Big Splash by Langston for a two count. Seth and Dean made the save. Rey sent Seth out to the floor. Dean tossed out Kofi. Roman with the Superman Punch to Langston. Dean with a tag. Worst Case Scenario (1%er) by Dean. Roman was so ticked about that one.

Your Winners: The Shield

Raw Ranking: 3.5 out of a possible 5

Seth had to play Peacemaker before Roman destroyed the modern-day Buddy Jack Roberts. As they grumbled, Bray Wyatt and his boys came on the Tron. Bray said he had the blueprint of The Shield stamped in his brain. Bray went all cryptic as he talked about The Shield sacrificing themselves for the new Empire. Bray said he would take his place atop his throne. Luke Harper wanted to know if it was worth it (for The Shield). Erick told them to “Run.” The feed went off. I love this feud.

Wade Barrett was back for some more BORING Bad News. He berated the fans for stuffing food down their food during the Super Bowl. Jerry Lawler rose and said he had some Bad News for Barrett. Lawler said he hoped that as of next week, Barrett wouldn’t be around. Lawler said he was sick of hearing Barrett.

The announcers talked about he new WWE Network and the WWE App. Soon as my tax money hits the bank, I’m going to get myself an updated laptop. Cole talked about how a year’s worth of WWE PPVs and other assorted shows would only cost $120. If I get my laptop, in time, I think I just might give the WWE Nerwork aa try. Who knows? There just might be some new columns on the horizon. It worked for Ring of Honor.

Christian vs Jack Swagger

This was a rematch from last week’s Smackdown. Antonio Cesaro and Zeb Colter were at ringside. Jack took Christian down and then threw him into the corner. Shoulder Thrust by Jack. Whip by Jack. Pendulum Kick by Christian. Jack was sent to the outside. Baseball Slide by Christian. Jack pulled Christian off the apron. Christian’s face struck the ring apron. Jack pounded on Christian and tried for a pin. He only got a two. Whip by Jack into a Running Knee Strike. Biel by Swagger. 2 count. Butterfly Arm Bar by Jack. Christian got to his feet nad punched and kicked free. Jack with a Powerslam into the corner and then one to the canvas. 2 count. Jack was obviously frustrated.

Jack with measured punches to Christian’s face. Jack got on the middle ropes and saluted his leader, Zeb. Christian got the boots up as Jack flew off the ropes. Antonio stood, sotne-faced. Christian ducked a Clothesline and nailed a punch and Missile Dropkick. Kitchen Sink by Swagger. Jack went for the Gut Wrench but Christian converted it into the Slop Drop. Christian rallied the crowd and got ready for his finisher. He had to convert to the Punch Up, from the floor. Christian flew off the top and got caught. Patriot Lock but Christian countered it. Swagger pushed out of the KillSwitch. Christian got the boots up to deflect the Swagger Bomb. Christian with the Twisting Sunset Flip to roll up Swagger.

Your Winner: Christian

Raw Ranking: 3.0

Zeb was ready to explode on Swagger. Jack tried to make his excuses.

Raw looked back at how Brock Lesnar ruined the tag team title match, last Monday night. Lesnar laid out the Brothers Rhodes with F5s and then took chairs to Goldust and Cody. The cage started to lower. The tag team title match is next!

Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs Billy Gunn and Road Dogg

Non-Traditional Cage Match for the Tag Team Titles

Road Dogg cut a rambling promo about how he and Billy would defend in the cage. He then cut loose with the classic Outlaws Opening. Billy then did his minor part. From there, the Clockwork Shattered Smoke and Mirrors theme music heralded the arrival of Dustin and Cody Rhodes. Raw went to break before the Hour Turner Match.

Betty White will Guest Star, next week. Why?

After the introductions, Dogg and Dust to open. Sside Headlock by Dust. Push oFf into a Goldust Shoulder Tackle. Body Roll by Dust. Dust played mind games with Dogg. Dogg scooted to his corner. Dogg tried to open the door and Dust rolled him up for a two. Kick by Dogg as he screamed “What are we doing in here?” Tag to Gunn.

Dust with the body stroke thing to mess with Billy. It didn’t work as Billy with the D-X Crotch Chop. Tag to Cody. Arm Yanks by Cody. Billy with hard punches. Cody answered with his own punches and a Corkscrew Roll UP, out of the corner. 2 count. Small Package by Cody as a counter to a Suplex. 2 count, again. The Outlaws talked strategy, in the corner. Billy worked on Cody’s bandaged arm. Dogg took the tag and Arm Whipped Cody to the mat. Dogg with kicks to the arm and an attack on the shoulder. 2 count. Arm Bar by Dogg. Tag to Billy. Billy with a kick to the chest. Gunn twisted Cody’s arm around the top rope. Gunn with the Arm Bar. Elbow Drop by Billy. Tag to Dogg. Dogg ran Cody’s shoulder into the corner. Cody with a Running Clothesline for a two count. Cody stomped the shoulder of Dogg. Keylock by Cody. Knee Drops to Dogg’s shoulder. Tag to Gunn. He mocked Dogg’s little shimmy thing. Snap Mare into a Legdrop by Dust. Dust worked over Dogg’s arm, big time. Arm Wringer by Dust but Dogg with a Kneelift. Dogg took Dust to the corner and punched away. Corner Punches by Dogg. Goldustin Uppercut and Corner Mount Punches by Goldust. Dogg reversed a Whip. A Universal sent Goldust into the cage wall. Gunn tagged in as Raw went to break.

Road Dogg tagged in and kicked away on Goldust. Dogg threw Dust into the cage wall. Dogg picked him up and threw him into the cage, again. 1-2-no. Rear Chin Lock by Dogg. Dust got to his feet and punched away. Dogg missed the Elbow Drop. Billy with the tag and he stopped Dust from reaching Cody. Whip by Billy but Dust with a Handspring Elbow off the turnbuckles. Billy caught Dust and then blasted him with a Big Boot. 2 count, again. Tag to Dogg. Dogg picked up Dust and did the Flip, Flop and Fly thing. Dust came back with the Spinebuster. Tag to Cody and Billy.

Cody with Clotheslines. Cody pitched Billy into the cage. Goldustin Uppercut and Holly Upper Kick. Cody avoided the Famoused. Billy got out of the CrossRhodes. Disaster Kick to Billy but Billy barely kicked out at 2 plus. The crowd was ticked off about the count. Cody climbed the cage wall. Dogg went up after him. Cody bounced Dogg off the apron. Top of the Cage Moonsault. Holy Crap! Dogg was out cold. Billy with the Famouser!

Your Winners:The New Age Outlaws

Raw Ranking: 4.0

Zack Ryder vs Titus O’Neil

Titus, now a heel, has new music. Titus destroyed his former partner, Darren Young, on Smackdown after Darren lost their tag match. Titus just beat the daylights out of Young.

Zack ducked under and punched away. Titus put Zack on the top tope and pushed him over. Titus went out to the floor and pushed Zack into the barricade. The Miz came out and disrespected the two men in the ring. Miz was ticked that he wasn’t on Raw. Scoop Slam by Titus. Miz walked away as Titus put Zack in a Bear Hug. Zack Elbowed free but Titus dropped Zack. Titus rushed the corner but there was no water in the well. Zack almost pinned Titus. Broski Boot by Zack. Crossbody but Titus caught him and hit several Backbreakers. Titus pitched Zack aside and hit a Corner Clothesline. Clash of the Titus (Sky High Sit-Out Spinebuster).

Your Winner: Titus O’Neil

Raw Ranking: 2.0

WWE paid tribute to “Big Cat” Ernie Ladd, as part of Black History Month. I was always a big fan of Ladd. He was awesome in his ring wars. He was also a great man, outside the ring. Ladd is the only man to be a member of both the AFL and WWE Halls of Fame.

Fandango with Summer rae vs Santino Marella

Dance Off (sigh, I hate these)

Santino made fun of Fandango’s name (“Fan-Dingo”). Santino said he was a Dancing Freak. Santino decided to let Summer Rae do the dancing against a member of the audience. Santino pulled Emma from the crowd.

Summer Rae vs Emma

Dance Off

Summer has some of the best legs in the business. Santino wasn’t impressed with Summer’s dance. Emma did a ridiculous dance thing to something almost as annoying as the old Right to Censor theme. The audience was polled and, of course, Emma won.

Your Winner: Emma

Raw Ranking: .01

JBL was stick at all the goofy dancing. Michael Cole switched gears to talk about the WWE Network. It was a trailer for Legends House. That is the one I want to see. I’ve heard a bit about that show from one of the people involved and the little bit I heard had me rolling on the floor.

Sheamus vs Curtis Axel (w/Ryback)

Axel dodged the Celtic Warrior. Collar and Elbow took the men around the ropes. The crowd chanted for “C.M. Punk”. Sheamus threw Axel down to the canvas. Collar and Elbow into a Side Headlock by Sheammus. Shoulder Thrusts by Axel. Whip reversed and Sheamus with a Mr. Wrestling II Running Kneelift. Axel went to the apron and punched away. Sheamus escaped the Funk Neckbrekaer and nailed the Celtic Crossfaces. Ryback turned away as Axel was annihilated by Sheamus. A Clothesline sent Axel to the floor. Sheamus bounced Axel off the announce table. He then pitched Axel back in the ring. Axel assaulted Sheamus’ bad shoulder and threw it into the ring post. Axel with a Leaping Elbow Drop over the top rope. Sheamus with shots but Axel with a knee to the face. Axel stayed focused on the bad shoulder with a modified Keylock.

Dropkick by Axel. Axel was relentless on the shoulder. Axel choked Sheamus on the bottom rope. The announcers totally ignored the “C.M. Punk” chants. Arm Extender by Axel. Sheamus powered to his feet and busted Axel in the face, over and over. Sheamus threw Axel in the cornr nad punched away. Axel escaped White Noise but Sheamus hit he Pearl River (or would that be the Shannon River) Plunge. Sheamus psyched himself up and nailed the Brogue Kick. Count to 100.

Your Winner: Sheamus

Raw Ranking: 2.5

Sheamus invited Ryback to come get some. He backed off.

This was the first to run live in Australia. I want to send a shout out to The Sheriff (a disc jockey who works the Late Night Shift out of Melbourne). I listen to him, quite often, while sitting in my office. Thanks to my best buddy, Joe, I have an Internet Radio that brings me all corners of the world: Poland, Leeds, England, Australia, Germany, Japan, etc…

Batista came out to talk with the fans. He got a decent pop. Much better than the booing that he took at Royal Rumble. Who does Batista want to fight at Wrestlemania? I’d say Cena but what do I know?

Before Batista could speak, Alberto Del Rio walked out onto the stage. Del Rio said Batista was about to put everyone to sleep. Del Rio said they had unfinished business. Maybe this time Del Rio can sell the Batista Bomb and/or Spinebuster. Batista said he didn’t have an issue with Del Rio. Del Rio said he would tell Batista when they were done. Del Rio was really struggling with this confrontation. Del Rio said “Cahones” make you a champion. He called Batista a “filthy Chihuahua that is afraid of Del Rio”. Seriously? Batista started to laugh but Del Rio took the cheap shot. Del Rio pounded away on Batista. Batista caught Del Rio and went for the Batista Bomb. Del Rio took off running. Guess we know one more match for Elimination Chamber.

Dolph Ziggler, R-Truth and Xavier Woods vs Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper and Erick Rowan

Six-Man Tag Team Match

Next week…Mark Henry returns!

Erick started against Xavier. Hard kick and clubbing blows. Shoulder Tackle by the crimson-bearded brute. Xavier punched and kicked away. Tag by Truth. Double Whip into kicks and such. Clothesline by Truth. 2 count. Erick took Truth to the corner. Tag to Harper. Truth tried to battle both men but ate a Big Boot. European Uppercut by Luke. Bray took the tag and hit several Headbutts. Corner Splash by Bray. Tag to Luke. Alligator Roll into a Rear Chin Lock. The fans were chanting for Ziggler. Truth blasted Luke with a Leg Lariat. Truth dove for the corner. Tag to Dolph. Flying Crossbody and machine gun punches. Dropkick and Corner Mount Punches. Funk Neckbreaker by Dolph. Jumping Elbow Drop (Heart Stopper. Wild DDT by Dolph.l Rowan made the save. It broke down into chaos. Uranage by Bray on Xavier. Sleeper by Dolph but Luke with the Decapitation Discus Clothesline. Tag to Bray. He did the upside down thing, form the corner. Sister Abigail!

Your Winners: The Wyatt Family

Raw Ranking: 2.75

The Shield came on the Tron. Dean said they didn’t believe in ghosts and other assorted crap. Seth called Bray a figment of his own imagination. Roman warned the Wyatts that they were in The Shield’s yard. He warned them to believe in the Shield. Bray just cackled and said he welcomed the war. He told The Shield to bring the fight.

Another interview aired with the Bulgarian dude from NXT, Alexander Rusev. The hot blonde with him so reminds me of Ninotchka from the old GLOW days. Rusev looks like he could be the grandson of the late, great General Skandor Akbar.

Before the next match, the announce team mentioned that Monday was Dory Funk Jr.’s birthday. My most sincere wishes go out to you, sir, for a happy and healthy birthday filled with good friends and great family.

Naomi vs Aksana

Aksana took Naomi to the corner and kicked away. Naomi pitched Aksana into the corner and pounded away. Float Over by Naomi. Aksana charged and Naomi with the Bubba Bomb and Pak Song Roll. 2 count. Aksana sent Naomi to the ropes and blocked the Wheelbarrow Slam. Aksana choked Naomi on the ropes. A.J. trash talked, a little, Tmaina Snuka. Crossface by Aksana. Naomi tried to fight back but Aksana threw her down. Rear Chin Lock by Aksana. Head Scissors by Aksana.

Aksana drove Naomi’s face into the canvas. Naomi kicked Aksana away. Dropkicks by Naomi. Aksana blocked the Float Over but Naomi kicked her away. Naomi with a sexy dance. Sunset Flip but Aksana with a Knee to the face. Naomi kicked out. Aksana showed her frustration. Dropkick by Naomi. Naomi positioned Aksana and nailed the Split Legged Moonsault.

Your Winner: Naomi.

Raw Ranking: 2.5

Alicia Fox rushed in to attack Naomi. Cameron came in to even up the sides. Rear View, by Naomi, to Fox. A.J. was asked if she would grant Naomi a title match. She declined to answer.

Daniel Bryan vs Randy Orton

Non-Title, Special Challenge Match

Randy handed off his belts and the ref called for the bell. Collar and Elbow and both men stood their ground. Randy finally got Daniel into the corner. The crowd was deafening with their support of Daniel Bryan. Randy tried to quiet them down. It didn’t work. Randy got back in the ring and ran the boot laces against Daniel’s face. Daniel blasted Randy. Arm Wringer by Daniel. Daniel grabbed Daniel by the beard. Orton Stomp to Daniel. Suplex by Randy. Two count. Randy tried, again, to quiet down the crowd. Side Headlock by Daniel. Push Off into an Orton Shoulder Tackle. Kitchen Sink by Daniel. European Uppercut and kicks by Daniel. Dragon Screw Leg Whip by Daniel. Daniel dug his fingers into Orton’s face.

Daniel pulled Randy’s leg into the ring post. Daniel with a Running Dropkick, to the knee, from the floor. That knee struck the ring post. Daniel worked over the injured knee. Daniel with an Indian Death Lock. JBL got ticked at Cole for all the conspiracy theories. Daniel with a Full Body Crucifix Roll to get a two count. Daniel kicked away as the fans again chanted for C.M. Punk. The announcers, as they were likely instructed, totally ignored it. Randy bit Daniel to escape a Leglock. European Uppercuts by Randy. Backslide by Daniel for two. Daniel with another Dragon Screw Leg Whip. Daniel dropped his full weight on Randy’s bad knee, multiple times. Randy bailed out to walk off the soreness. Daniel gave him no quarter as Daniel kicked away at the leg and then threw Randy right into Michael Cole’s lap.

Back in the ring, Daniel twisted Randy’s knee in the ropes. Dropkick to Randy’s knee. Cole recovered from getting knocked loopy. Daniel went to the top rope and nailed the Hurancanrana. 1-2-no. Surfboard attempt was abandoned but not before Daniel drove both of Randy’s knees into the mat. Daniel kicked the leg and back of The Viper. Daniel stayed on the bad wheel. Single Leg Crab by Daniel, on the bad leg. Randy inched his way over to try and reach the ropes. Randy refused to tap out. Randy cackled and crawled to the ropes. Randy rolled out to the floor and had trouble standing. Randy Back Dropped Daniel on the ring barrier. Randy pitched Daniel back into the ring and tried to pin him. 2 count. Randy stomped Daniel in the head. Stomp to Daniel’s lower mid-section. Headbutts by Randy into a wild flurry of punches. Daniel with punches and went to the ropes. Snap Powerslam by Randy. Both men were hurt. Raw took another break.

Daniel with wild kicks to Randy’s chest as the show returned. Randy with an Exploder Suplex. Daniel landed on his shoulder, hurting it. It looked like it had popper out of the socket. Hammerlocks by Randy. He ran Daniel’s shoulder into the ring post. Randy ran it into the post, again. Randy said he wasn’t done. He sent Daniel into the ring steps. Randy threw Daniel back in and tried for the pin. 2 count. Arm Extender by Randy. Randy twisted Daniel’s fingers in odd directions. Randy stood on Daniel’s hand and then stomped the forearm. 2 count. Daniel yanked the bad arm. That probably helped pop it back in, honestly.

Randy twisted Daniel’s arm around the middle rope. Randy struck the “Big O” pose and absorbed the hatred from the fans. He channeled it into power and snapped Daniel’s arm over the ropes. Randy placed Daniel on the top rope and punched away. Daniel nearly tumbled backwards off the ropes. Randy climbed the ropes and punched away. Superplex blocked by Daniel. Daniel with a Headbutt but Randy went after the bad right shoulder. Daniel used a Headbutt to send Randy flying. Daniel went to the top and waited. Missile Dropkick. Daniel landed on his bad shoulder. That was just dumb.

Headbutt by Randy. Daniel with a kick. The two traded kicks and Daniel got the better of the exchange. Arm Whipper by Randy to send Daniel down hard. Daniel went for the Yes Lock. He got it locked in but there was some question as to how much power Daniel had. Randy got his fee ton the ropes to force the break. Daniel with more kicks to the chest and legs of Randy. Hesitation Dropkicks by Daniel. Randy hit a Dropkick of his own. Both men were down and stunned.

Randy went for the Rope Assisted DDT nad nailed it. Randy slipped into his Special Place and got ready for the RKO. Daniel with a Thrust Kick. Daniel went to the Penthouse and hit the Benoit Diving Headbutt. Could be…might be…no! Daniel with more hard kicks to Randy’s chest. Crescent Kick to Orton’s skull. Kane rushed down to the ring and Daniel Dropkicked Kane off the apron. Low Bridge on Orton and Daniel with the Suicide Dive. Drop Toe Hold sent Kane into the Ring Steps. Orton tried for the RKO but ate the Dragon’s Fang Knee Strike!

Your Winner: Daniel Bryan

Raw Ranking: 4.25

Kane and Orton both attacked Daniel. Kane stripped off his tie and Goozled Daniel. Chokeslam! Kane set off the Corner Pyros and the Red and golden glow. Daniel was out.

Peace

–Jay Shannon

WordSlingerJay@Gmail.com

Twitter.com/jayshannonnv

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