2014-07-30

‎Non-playable races

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*'''Namira''' is the Daedric Prince of decay, vermin, the grotesque and revulsion. Described best as the [[Rule 63|female]] [[Nurgle]] (though the Horned Rat might be a more strictly-accurate comparison), her followers mainly keep to themselves and their repulsive creatures. They only interact with people trying to "save" them (which they very much [[Meme|do NOT want]]) or when they eat them. Oh, did I mention that Namira is also the patron of cannibalism? Because she is.

*'''Namira''' is the Daedric Prince of decay, vermin, the grotesque and revulsion. Described best as the [[Rule 63|female]] [[Nurgle]] (though the Horned Rat might be a more strictly-accurate comparison), her followers mainly keep to themselves and their repulsive creatures. They only interact with people trying to "save" them (which they very much [[Meme|do NOT want]]) or when they eat them. Oh, did I mention that Namira is also the patron of cannibalism? Because she is.



*'''Nocturnal''' is the Daedric Prince of shadows, thieves and luck. Somewhere in between your mom who is never content with your achievements and always demands more of you and Lady Luck. Except unlike your mom, she's sexy and powerful. And again unlike your mom she does not fuck every guy who talks to her. Nocturnal demands little of her followers and gives little in return, unless her conduit to the mortal world is threatened, which causes her to impose perpetually back luck to every criminal in the world. One of the artifacts associated with her is the Skeleton Key, which is said to be able to unlock anything, up to and including the absolute limits of human potential... too bad you never see this in the game, making it a giant glorified (but unbreakable and impossibly handy) lockpick.

+

*'''Nocturnal''' is the Daedric Prince of shadows, thieves and luck
. She's often called the Ur-Dra by other Daedric Princes and and is an aspect of the first Void
. Somewhere in between your mom who is never content with your achievements and always demands more of you and Lady Luck. Except unlike your mom, she's sexy and powerful. And again unlike your mom she does not fuck every guy who talks to her. Nocturnal demands little of her followers and gives little in return, unless her conduit to the mortal world is threatened, which causes her to impose perpetually back luck to every criminal in the world. One of the artifacts associated with her is the Skeleton Key, which is said to be able to unlock anything, up to and including the absolute limits of human potential... too bad you never see this in the game, making it a giant glorified (but unbreakable and impossibly handy) lockpick.

*'''Peyrite''' is the Daedric Prince of order and pestilence. Considering that order means sameness and stagnation, this makes him an almost dead-on match to [[Nurgle]]. He manifests as a giant four-legged dragon, which has nothing to do with his aspect, and as a pair of giant rats, which does. He's one of the weakest Daedric Princes, to the point that his realm was once partially invaded by Mehrunes Dagon. Alternatively, the game's writers [[Derp|forgot that all Daedric realms look different]], but that can't possibly be right. Is the daedric equivalent of middle-management, keeping the lower levels of Oblivion in line while his more-powerful co-workers (a.k.a. every other prince) squanders the company's money on ice sculptures of cherubs that piss champaign. Speaking of which...

*'''Peyrite''' is the Daedric Prince of order and pestilence. Considering that order means sameness and stagnation, this makes him an almost dead-on match to [[Nurgle]]. He manifests as a giant four-legged dragon, which has nothing to do with his aspect, and as a pair of giant rats, which does. He's one of the weakest Daedric Princes, to the point that his realm was once partially invaded by Mehrunes Dagon. Alternatively, the game's writers [[Derp|forgot that all Daedric realms look different]], but that can't possibly be right. Is the daedric equivalent of middle-management, keeping the lower levels of Oblivion in line while his more-powerful co-workers (a.k.a. every other prince) squanders the company's money on ice sculptures of cherubs that piss champaign. Speaking of which...

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**Tradition maintains he ascended to godhood through virtue and wisdom, though other sources claim he stole godhood by using the Heart of Lorkhan, after backstabbing his King, Lord Indoril Nerevar, who had forbidden him from doing so. Also in this way he NTR'd Nerevar by taking his wife, Almalexia, afterwards. Greatly loved by the Dunmer people for doing crazy shit like teaching them to breathe water for a while so he could flood Morrowind to kill invaders. When the Tribunal lost their access to the Heart of Lorkhan, he was the only one who maintained his sanity enough to negotiate with the Talos Empire a treaty so the Dunmer wouldn't get buttfucked before focusing his power on protecting Morrowind from Dagoth Ur. Known to have achieved CHIM, and after the events of Morrowind (the game) uses it in an elaborate ruse for revenge against Azura that ends in him binding her and stuffing his spear in her mouth before banishing her. Of course, she then nuked his country after evacuating her faithful people, so maybe not the ''last'' laugh.  Last known to be mentioned in a letter supposedly from the 5th era, which is in the future.

**Tradition maintains he ascended to godhood through virtue and wisdom, though other sources claim he stole godhood by using the Heart of Lorkhan, after backstabbing his King, Lord Indoril Nerevar, who had forbidden him from doing so. Also in this way he NTR'd Nerevar by taking his wife, Almalexia, afterwards. Greatly loved by the Dunmer people for doing crazy shit like teaching them to breathe water for a while so he could flood Morrowind to kill invaders. When the Tribunal lost their access to the Heart of Lorkhan, he was the only one who maintained his sanity enough to negotiate with the Talos Empire a treaty so the Dunmer wouldn't get buttfucked before focusing his power on protecting Morrowind from Dagoth Ur. Known to have achieved CHIM, and after the events of Morrowind (the game) uses it in an elaborate ruse for revenge against Azura that ends in him binding her and stuffing his spear in her mouth before banishing her. Of course, she then nuked his country after evacuating her faithful people, so maybe not the ''last'' laugh.  Last known to be mentioned in a letter supposedly from the 5th era, which is in the future.



*'''Hist''' Sentient trees supposedly from a previous Kalpa (from the prior universe before it was rebuilt into the current one). They created the Argonians and experiment with all kinds of creatures to try making new Argonians, apparently any race can be 'Argonian' if accepted by the Hist. They can communicate with their Argonians through visions and telepathy and their sap, when ingested, determines how an Argonian grows too. Are apparently genius mathematicians that
can shoot '
16th-
dimensional
mathematics
' when they get built into spaceships in
the
future
.

+

*'''Hist''' Sentient trees supposedly from a previous Kalpa (from the prior universe before it was rebuilt into the current one). They created the Argonians and experiment with all kinds of creatures to try making new Argonians, apparently any race can be 'Argonian' if accepted by the Hist. They can communicate with their Argonians through visions and telepathy and their sap, when ingested, determines how an Argonian grows too. Are apparently genius mathematicians that
fight the Jills with their
16th-
dimension
mathematics
during Dragon Breaks to make
the
fixed timeline more suited to their wants
.

===Notable People===

===Notable People===

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*'''Argonians:''' A race of warm-blooded lizard people, well-spoken and skilled as both warriors and mages. Some see them as emotionless due to their limited ability to form facial expressions, but mentally they're no different from any other sentient. They are a friendly and intelligent people, but they WILL fuck you up if you mess with them... which they did to the Daedra when they invaded Black Marsh, to the point that the Daedra sealed all the portals to keep from being ''counter-invaded''. Repeat: when a portal opened to the [[Warp]], these guys beat all the [[daemons]] and succeeded in ''invading hell''. Bad. Ass. Can breathe water, and have a raging hate boner against the dark elves because of, to put it bluntly, centuries of brutal exploitation and slavery. Oh yeah, and they worship a race of tree God creatures know as HIST who they may or may not be actually descended from. And said trees may actually have survived the repeated restarts of the universe. Somehow...oh and those creatures are the source of their badassery and supposedly can cause infernal rage in Argonians with help of telepathic links called Jel and HIST Sap. Yeah Argonians are hivemind to certain degree.

*'''Argonians:''' A race of warm-blooded lizard people, well-spoken and skilled as both warriors and mages. Some see them as emotionless due to their limited ability to form facial expressions, but mentally they're no different from any other sentient. They are a friendly and intelligent people, but they WILL fuck you up if you mess with them... which they did to the Daedra when they invaded Black Marsh, to the point that the Daedra sealed all the portals to keep from being ''counter-invaded''. Repeat: when a portal opened to the [[Warp]], these guys beat all the [[daemons]] and succeeded in ''invading hell''. Bad. Ass. Can breathe water, and have a raging hate boner against the dark elves because of, to put it bluntly, centuries of brutal exploitation and slavery. Oh yeah, and they worship a race of tree God creatures know as HIST who they may or may not be actually descended from. And said trees may actually have survived the repeated restarts of the universe. Somehow...oh and those creatures are the source of their badassery and supposedly can cause infernal rage in Argonians with help of telepathic links called Jel and HIST Sap. Yeah Argonians are hivemind to certain degree.



*'''Khajiit:''' Despite being mammalian, the Khajit differ from the Men and Mer races much more than the Argonians. Their skeletal structure and dermal makeup make them appear as giant cats; Call them [[furries]] though, and they will end you on the spot. They are skilled desert raiders, merchants and farmers. Their prime export is Moon Sugar, a substance that can be described best as [[Doomrider|magical cocaine]]. Also, they are mystically linked to the moons, such that the form they mature into (being born as tiny kittens) depends on the moons' phases when they're born, and varies from cat-men to house cats to [[Awesome|gigantic cats that can be used as mounts in battles.]]

+

*'''Khajiit:''' Despite being mammalian
and a race of Mer created by Azura
, the Khajit differ from the Men and Mer races much more than the Argonians. Their skeletal structure and dermal makeup make them appear as giant cats; Call them [[furries]] though, and they will end you on the spot. They are skilled desert raiders, merchants and farmers. Their prime export is Moon Sugar, a substance that can be described best as [[Doomrider|magical cocaine
made from crystallised moonlight
]]. Also, they are mystically linked to the moons, such that the form they mature into (being born as tiny kittens) depends on the moons' phases when they're born, and varies from cat-men to house cats to [[Awesome|gigantic cats that can be used as mounts in battles.]]
Their leader, the Mane is a moon. Not Masser or Secunda though, the Mane Moon which appears when the two overlap.

===Non-playable races===

===Non-playable races===

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There are also a number of races that, while not not playable, are rather important in the series.

There are also a number of races that, while not not playable, are rather important in the series.



*'''Dwemer ([[Dwarves]]):''' Despite being dwarves, they were taller than humans. They were also a kind of elves. However, they're still manly enough for /tg/, because they lived underground, built steampunk robots, and had beards (although said beards were braided in an ancient Mesopotamian/Babylonian style). They have gone extinct sadly, because they were mucking about with a heart that once belonged to a god, and they accidentally
erased
themselves
from existence when they tried to
[[Warforged|
build their own
god
,
in a cave,]] [[Meme|with a mountain of scraps]]. They built everything with greatest Tonal power ever known, Tonal Architecture, aka. warping existence itself with sound and toanlity. This information, combined with the fact they were based off ancient Mesopotamia, hints at they might very well be [[Chaos Dwarves]].

+

*'''Dwemer ([[Dwarves]]):''' Despite being dwarves, they were taller than humans. They were also a kind of elves. However, they're still manly enough for /tg/, because they lived underground, built steampunk robots, and had beards (although said beards were braided in an ancient Mesopotamian/Babylonian style). They have gone extinct sadly, because they were mucking about with a heart that once belonged to a god, and they accidentally
turned
themselves
into the skin of the [
[[Warforged|
brass
god
they were buinding
in a cave,]] [[Meme|with a mountain of scraps]]. They built everything with greatest Tonal power ever known, Tonal Architecture, aka. warping existence itself with sound and toanlity. This information, combined with the fact they were based off ancient Mesopotamia, hints at they might very well be [[Chaos Dwarves]].

*'''Falmer (Snow Elves):''' These guys can't catch a break. After the monumental asskicking they received from Ysgramor and the Nords, the sparse remains of their people fled to live with the Dwemer, who enslaved them and turned them into feral cave-dwelling monstrosities (and used their souls to fuel the aforementioned robots) that are basically like the Wendol from Eaters of the Dead. Seriously, we know from the color of their souls that they aren't even *sapient* anymore. Then they occupied the extinct Dwemers' fortresses after their masters obliterated themselves, living like stone-age savages. A couple of the Snow Elves are still around in an uncorrupted state, and there's hope that the survivors are slowly recovering (or possibly just becoming intelligent enough to launch co-ordinated attacks), but still. [[grimdark|*Triple* genocide.]]

*'''Falmer (Snow Elves):''' These guys can't catch a break. After the monumental asskicking they received from Ysgramor and the Nords, the sparse remains of their people fled to live with the Dwemer, who enslaved them and turned them into feral cave-dwelling monstrosities (and used their souls to fuel the aforementioned robots) that are basically like the Wendol from Eaters of the Dead. Seriously, we know from the color of their souls that they aren't even *sapient* anymore. Then they occupied the extinct Dwemers' fortresses after their masters obliterated themselves, living like stone-age savages. A couple of the Snow Elves are still around in an uncorrupted state, and there's hope that the survivors are slowly recovering (or possibly just becoming intelligent enough to launch co-ordinated attacks), but still. [[grimdark|*Triple* genocide.]]

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