2013-04-29

‎A History of Violence:

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==A History of Violence==

==A History of Violence==



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[[Image:Zeist.png|left|thumb|This image is considered by most to be tacit proof that Matt Ward is going to a ''very'' special place in Hell [[Highlander|when he dies.]]]]

'''2002 - 2007'''

'''2002 - 2007'''

*Ward authors a bunch of Lord of the Rings books. Revisionist neckbeards now like to point to them as damning proof of Ward's madness in its infancy, but mostly they're just forgettable. During this time, he also worked for [[White Dwarf]], his only real defining feature being his fondness for playing the [[Chaos|evil armies]] in battle reports. In hindsight, this was probably a sign of things to come. He also creates the rules for the Mumak, the most fucking ridiculous unit ever, which can destroy entire armies in it's movement. The Mumak is eventually revealed to be so broken (and included in an army that already had it's share of cheese) that it signals the beginning of the end for the Lord of the Rings system. This, and Wards creepy fetish for Evil heralds the evil to come.... Don't forget 7th edition Orcs and Goblin book!

*Ward authors a bunch of Lord of the Rings books. Revisionist neckbeards now like to point to them as damning proof of Ward's madness in its infancy, but mostly they're just forgettable. During this time, he also worked for [[White Dwarf]], his only real defining feature being his fondness for playing the [[Chaos|evil armies]] in battle reports. In hindsight, this was probably a sign of things to come. He also creates the rules for the Mumak, the most fucking ridiculous unit ever, which can destroy entire armies in it's movement. The Mumak is eventually revealed to be so broken (and included in an army that already had it's share of cheese) that it signals the beginning of the end for the Lord of the Rings system. This, and Wards creepy fetish for Evil heralds the evil to come.... Don't forget 7th edition Orcs and Goblin book!



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[[Image:Ultrawank.png|right|thumb|Warning: Clicking this thumbnail may induce projectile vomiting and spontaneous neckbeard combustion.]]

'''2008'''

'''2008'''

*Ward's descent into skub and infamy begins with '''Army Book: Daemons of Chaos''', a work of such apocalyptic cheese mongering it is widely credited for '''''single-handedly breaking WHFB''''' while simultaneously reinventing large portions of its fluff. No army could come close to beating it (Dark Elves and Vampire Counts, accepted as 2nd and 3rd powerful in the rankings, generally had to struggle to grab DRAWS!) and the failing attempts at Power Creep to match eventually broke the entire system so hard that Fantasy required a hard reset in the form of the massive shakeup that was 8th edition. Most people write it off as an overeager premier, and whether this was Ward's own work or management fiat remains a point of [[Derp|conjecture]].

*Ward's descent into skub and infamy begins with '''Army Book: Daemons of Chaos''', a work of such apocalyptic cheese mongering it is widely credited for '''''single-handedly breaking WHFB''''' while simultaneously reinventing large portions of its fluff. No army could come close to beating it (Dark Elves and Vampire Counts, accepted as 2nd and 3rd powerful in the rankings, generally had to struggle to grab DRAWS!) and the failing attempts at Power Creep to match eventually broke the entire system so hard that Fantasy required a hard reset in the form of the massive shakeup that was 8th edition. Most people write it off as an overeager premier, and whether this was Ward's own work or management fiat remains a point of [[Derp|conjecture]].





[[Image:Zeist.png|right|thumb|This image is considered by most to be tacit proof that Matt Ward is going to a ''very'' special place in Hell [[Highlander|when he dies.]]]]

*Ward is instrumental in the creation of the '''Warhammer 40,000 Rulebook, 5th Edition''' rulebook. While the crunch is more or less accepted, much of the fluff openly contradicts previous works (sisters being all but retconned out of the universe for example), and there's considerable attempts to promote [[Ultramarines|certain]] [[Doom Eagles|armies]] over [[Salamanders|the]] [[Raven Guard|others]].

*Ward is instrumental in the creation of the '''Warhammer 40,000 Rulebook, 5th Edition''' rulebook. While the crunch is more or less accepted, much of the fluff openly contradicts previous works (sisters being all but retconned out of the universe for example), and there's considerable attempts to promote [[Ultramarines|certain]] [[Doom Eagles|armies]] over [[Salamanders|the]] [[Raven Guard|others]].

*Ward writes '''Codex: [[Space Marines]]''' for 5th edition. Thousands of neckbeards cry out in terror, and are silenced. While he manages to make this work mechanically stable, it comes at a terrible cost: Ward unilaterally decides to retcon massive amounts of Space Marine fluff and enshrine the Ultramarines (coincidentally his army) as the gold standard for a "proper" space marine. The new fluff reads like [[Ultramarines]] [[Twilight|fanfic]], portraying the smurfs as second to the [[Emprah]] in damned-near all regards, and that all Space Marines view [[Roboute Guilliman]] as their ''[[spiritual liege]]''. It is about this time that Ward's prejudices [[Salamanders|against]] [[Imperial Fists|certain]] [[Black Templars|chapters]] start to emerge for the first time.

*Ward writes '''Codex: [[Space Marines]]''' for 5th edition. Thousands of neckbeards cry out in terror, and are silenced. While he manages to make this work mechanically stable, it comes at a terrible cost: Ward unilaterally decides to retcon massive amounts of Space Marine fluff and enshrine the Ultramarines (coincidentally his army) as the gold standard for a "proper" space marine. The new fluff reads like [[Ultramarines]] [[Twilight|fanfic]], portraying the smurfs as second to the [[Emprah]] in damned-near all regards, and that all Space Marines view [[Roboute Guilliman]] as their ''[[spiritual liege]]''. It is about this time that Ward's prejudices [[Salamanders|against]] [[Imperial Fists|certain]] [[Black Templars|chapters]] start to emerge for the first time.





[[Image:Ultrawank.png|right|thumb|Warning: Clicking this thumbnail may induce projectile vomiting and spontaneous neckbeard combustion.]]

*'''2009'''

*'''2009'''



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*Ward writes "War of the Ring", basically Apocalypse for ''Lord of the Rings'' and the basis for some of the new rules in the 8th edition of Fantasy, which will help clean up after the mistakes of Daemons of Chaos. The book isn't bad, but the fact the Lord of the Ring's hasn't been popular since 2001-2003, cheesy heroes and units on certain sides (Elves for example) and the fact the book is full of mistakes makes the game easily one sided and boring. Ward is sent back to writing 40k and Fantasy, where his abilities are no better.



*Ward writes "War of the Ring", basically Apocalypse for ''Lord of the Rings'' and the basis for some of the new rules in the 8th edition of Fantasy, which will help clean up after the mistakes of Daemons of Chaos. The book isn't bad, but the fact the Lord of the Ring's hasn't been popular since 2001-2003, cheesy heroes and units on certain sides (Elves for example) and the fact the book is full of mistakes makes the game easily one sided and boring. Ward is sent back to writing 40k and Fantasy, where his abilities are no better.

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[[File:Crons.png|200px|thumb|Apparently [[Love Can Bloom]] for bishonen vampires and omnicidal robots too.]]



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'''2010'''

'''2010'''



[[File:Crons.png|200px|thumb|Apparently [[Love Can Bloom]] for bishonen vampires and omnicidal robots too.]]

*Ward doubles down on his [[Heresy]] with '''Codex: [[Blood Angels]]'''. Any and all pretense of restraint is dropped and the codex is loaded with deep striking Land Raiders, flying librarian dreadnoughts, and ICs that can rip [[Abaddon]]'s head off and shit down his neck. The fluff, while not the hate crime against neckbeards his previous work was, still manages to inspire [[rage]] by having the Necrons and Blood Angels become [[My Little Pony|Super Secret Pony Princess Unicorn Best Friends Forever]] (if only temporarily). As fate would have it, this work will not survive the next edition too well and the Necrons team-up does make sense, though it heralds terrible precedents for things to come...

*Ward doubles down on his [[Heresy]] with '''Codex: [[Blood Angels]]'''. Any and all pretense of restraint is dropped and the codex is loaded with deep striking Land Raiders, flying librarian dreadnoughts, and ICs that can rip [[Abaddon]]'s head off and shit down his neck. The fluff, while not the hate crime against neckbeards his previous work was, still manages to inspire [[rage]] by having the Necrons and Blood Angels become [[My Little Pony|Super Secret Pony Princess Unicorn Best Friends Forever]] (if only temporarily). As fate would have it, this work will not survive the next edition too well and the Necrons team-up does make sense, though it heralds terrible precedents for things to come...



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[[Image:CryingKnight.jpg|thumb|left|We feel his pain. :(]]

'''2011'''

'''2011'''

*Ward gives birth to '''Codex: [[Grey Knights]]''', fusing the awful fluff and limitless cheese of his two previous works into a single abomination. While Psyflemen sweep tournament after tournament, writefags rage impotently about [[Kaldor Draigo]], [[Khornate Knights]], and the unapologetic rape of over ten years of canon.

*Ward gives birth to '''Codex: [[Grey Knights]]''', fusing the awful fluff and limitless cheese of his two previous works into a single abomination. While Psyflemen sweep tournament after tournament, writefags rage impotently about [[Kaldor Draigo]], [[Khornate Knights]], and the unapologetic rape of over ten years of canon.



[[Image:CryingKnight.jpg|thumb|We feel his pain. :(]]

*Ward co-authors the new [[White Dwarf]] release of '''Codex: [[Sisters of Battle]]'''. He shows incredible restraint in not turning the codex into another creepy sisters snuff-fic like his previous works, but compensates by basically reverting the Witch Hunters to 2E. The force org chart is gutted out, allies are removed, and the best strategies are promptly eliminated (with a bit of help from the [[Nerf|nerfer]] in chief [[Carnifex|Robin Cruddance]]).

*Ward co-authors the new [[White Dwarf]] release of '''Codex: [[Sisters of Battle]]'''. He shows incredible restraint in not turning the codex into another creepy sisters snuff-fic like his previous works, but compensates by basically reverting the Witch Hunters to 2E. The force org chart is gutted out, allies are removed, and the best strategies are promptly eliminated (with a bit of help from the [[Nerf|nerfer]] in chief [[Carnifex|Robin Cruddance]]).

* Ward next turns his fell hand to the [[Necron]]. He ups the ante again by ''completely'' rewriting their backstory, presumably while [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGC09B810Yk&t=3m20s humming to himself] with a shit eating grin plastered to his face. The crons are now insane Tomb Kings, '''IN SPAAAACE''', who [[Rape|want your body]]. Oh and they turned the C'tan into [[pokemon]]. ''Yea''. Mechanics-wise the release fares surprisingly well, trading away some of the more egregious cheese of 3E (Monolith Death March) in order to eliminate its shittiest design flaws (Phase Out). In the end the codex is quietly accepted and though fatguys will never publicly admit it, both the [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Necrons|crunch]] and [[Trazyn_the_Infinite|fluff]] have marked improvement on the lingering cesspool that was 3E. except that it apparently changes Necrons to the point that it would've been easier to change their name altogether and you know... some people could've taken up Necrons because they liked them as they were. Anyway, in its few improvements, the fluff manages to dodge [[Matthew_Ward#Why_the_Hate.3F|Matt Ward's greatest flaw.]]

* Ward next turns his fell hand to the [[Necron]]. He ups the ante again by ''completely'' rewriting their backstory, presumably while [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGC09B810Yk&t=3m20s humming to himself] with a shit eating grin plastered to his face. The crons are now insane Tomb Kings, '''IN SPAAAACE''', who [[Rape|want your body]]. Oh and they turned the C'tan into [[pokemon]]. ''Yea''. Mechanics-wise the release fares surprisingly well, trading away some of the more egregious cheese of 3E (Monolith Death March) in order to eliminate its shittiest design flaws (Phase Out). In the end the codex is quietly accepted and though fatguys will never publicly admit it, both the [[Warhammer_40,000/Tactics/Necrons|crunch]] and [[Trazyn_the_Infinite|fluff]] have marked improvement on the lingering cesspool that was 3E. except that it apparently changes Necrons to the point that it would've been easier to change their name altogether and you know... some people could've taken up Necrons because they liked them as they were. Anyway, in its few improvements, the fluff manages to dodge [[Matthew_Ward#Why_the_Hate.3F|Matt Ward's greatest flaw.]]



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[[File:HE_Up.png|thumb|right|[[/tg/]] quickly caught on with this. Godspeed you magnificent neckbeards.]]



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'''2012'''

'''2012'''

* Matt Ward teams up with quietly disposes of Adam Troke and Jeremy Vetock to create '''Wardhammer 40,000 6th Edition'''. The whole rulebook promptly turns Codexes: Necrons and Grey Knights into rape trains with no brakes. Every single fa/tg/uy instantly regrets ever thinking the Space Tomb Kings were balanced in the first place. We're talking cheese like '''9 fliers in a 1500pt list with flying dedicated transports that don't kill passengers when they crash!!''' What the fuck. Among other rage-worthy things of note include massive Buffs to [[Grey Knights|already broken beyond reason armies]], highly abusable mechanics resulting in severely limited builds for HQ choices (tool for challenges or suffer!) and the Space Marine segments of the fluff being [[Ultramarines|full of yet more Matt Ward Porno]].

* Matt Ward teams up with quietly disposes of Adam Troke and Jeremy Vetock to create '''Wardhammer 40,000 6th Edition'''. The whole rulebook promptly turns Codexes: Necrons and Grey Knights into rape trains with no brakes. Every single fa/tg/uy instantly regrets ever thinking the Space Tomb Kings were balanced in the first place. We're talking cheese like '''9 fliers in a 1500pt list with flying dedicated transports that don't kill passengers when they crash!!''' What the fuck. Among other rage-worthy things of note include massive Buffs to [[Grey Knights|already broken beyond reason armies]], highly abusable mechanics resulting in severely limited builds for HQ choices (tool for challenges or suffer!) and the Space Marine segments of the fluff being [[Ultramarines|full of yet more Matt Ward Porno]].



'''2013'''

'''2013'''

* According to [http://natfka.blogspot.com/2013/01/black-templar-and-authors-of-upcoming.html a rumor], Matt Ward is apparently set to make a Codex for the [[Orks]]. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

* According to [http://natfka.blogspot.com/2013/01/black-templar-and-authors-of-upcoming.html a rumor], Matt Ward is apparently set to make a Codex for the [[Orks]]. Be afraid. Be very afraid.



** It got worse. According to the same rumors, Mr Ward could also be doing [[Tyranids]]. Poor guys.



*** so we can look forward to none hive minded Tyranids and none orky Orks, damn you Ward.

* Matt Ward rewrites '''Army Book: Daemons of Chaos'''. Many neckbeards commit suicide before the official product announcement is out, to save themselves from the predicted cheese. Many Fantasy Daemon players (They exist?) power gamers also ritually sacrifice themselves, in anticipation of a gargantuan nerfing.

* Matt Ward rewrites '''Army Book: Daemons of Chaos'''. Many neckbeards commit suicide before the official product announcement is out, to save themselves from the predicted cheese. Many Fantasy Daemon players (They exist?) power gamers also ritually sacrifice themselves, in anticipation of a gargantuan nerfing.



* He's responsible for the High Elves update
! TAKE COVER! There is no way, not even with all
of
matt's special talent to make rage-fueling cheese, that Teclis can get more ridiculously cheesy
and
overpowered, even
if
matt made all his stats 10s, made him
a
level 4 lore master wizard who could cast every spell in the game (even the specific army-only ones like Necromancy
),
made him cost
as
much as one night goblin,
and
gave him every good special rule in
the
game. Therefore, I, for one, welcome the high elves
'
new neck-bearded overlord
.

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* He's responsible for the High Elves update
. A number
of
the new unites include extremely costly (40 eurobucks for 10 dudes!)
and
expensive to paint infantry (
if
GW's best painters have
a
bad time with "fire" effects, what chance does an average neckbeard have?
),
[[derp]]y new monsters (Firebird! Icebird! We couldn't add a [[Pokemon|lightning bird]]
as
well because Nintendo would sue us!)
and
a flying chariot pulled by a bird (
the
chariot itself flies because it
'
s magic). Nerdrage all around
.

==Why the Hate?==

==Why the Hate?==

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