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[[Image:Eldar.jpg|thumb|400px|right|TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER!]]
[[Image:Eldar.jpg|thumb|400px|right|TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER!]]
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The Eldar are one of the playable armies in ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]''. They are essentially [[elves]] ported directly from [[Tolkien]] into space, pointy ears and all, and as a result are often called 'Elfdar' by fa/tg/uys. Which is retarded, because the term 'Eldar' itself is already pulled straight out of Tolkien, being one of the many names the Tolkien Elves use to refer to themselves
with
(appropriately enough, it means "people of the [light of the] stars"). They have very advanced technology, but ages of warfare and strife have reduced their population from
great
empires
in
the past to the few surviving Craftworlds, Maiden Worlds and Exodite Worlds still present in the 41st
Millennium
.
+
The
'''
Eldar
'''
are one of the playable armies in ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]''. They are essentially [[elves]] ported directly from [[Tolkien]] into space, pointy ears and all, and as a result are often called 'Elfdar' by fa/tg/uys. Which is retarded, because the term 'Eldar' itself is already pulled straight out of Tolkien, being one of the many names the Tolkien Elves use to refer to themselves (appropriately enough, it means "people of the [light of the] stars"). They
are one of the oldest races in the galaxy and
have very advanced technology
and highly developed psychic abilities
, but ages of warfare and strife
, and in particular [[Fall of the Eldar|one extremely devastating and painfully avoidable strife]],
have reduced their population from
the galaxy-spanning
empires
of
the past to the few surviving Craftworlds, Maiden Worlds and Exodite Worlds still present in the 41st
millennium
.
−
In the ''40k'' game, the Eldar army is comprised of specialized units that excel at a particular task, as opposed to more general all-rounders like the [[Space Marine]] tactical squads. Their vehicles are almost all skimmers too, with the exception of War Walkers. The Eldar also have a few special tricks up their elfy sleeves, one of which comes in the form of wraith-constructs, wraithbone suits that are controlled by the souls of dead Eldar. It's like a
space marine dreadnought
in purpose, only
one is dead and
the
other
is a cripple. The Avatar of [[Khaine]] is a giant monster made of lava that used to be the penis of a war-god.
+
In the ''40k'' game, the Eldar army is comprised of specialized units that excel at a particular task, as opposed to more general all-rounders like the [[Space Marine]] tactical squads. Their vehicles are almost all skimmers too, with the exception of War Walkers. The Eldar also have a few special tricks up their
mystical
elfy sleeves, one of which comes in the form of wraith-constructs,
which are
wraithbone suits that are controlled by the souls of dead Eldar. It's like a
Space Marine Dreadnought
in purpose, only the
Dreadnought pilot
is
merely
a cripple
while the wraith-construct's 'pilot' is a straight up ghost
. The Avatar of [[Khaine]]
, one of the Eldar's most powerful units,
is a giant monster made of lava that used to be the penis of a war-god.
−
In spite of their fall from being a colossal empire that ruled when Mankind was still [[Minecraft|poking things with sticks]] and [[Dwarf Fortress|roasting dead animals over
the fire
in caves]] to their current state (a dying race slowly being whittled down by combat losses and [[Slaanesh]]), their disdain for every single bit of non-Eldarin life remains completely unchanged. (Though it's better than [[Exterminatus|what the Imperium does to everyone]]
)
. The race as a whole
also
has a superiority complex that would put [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] to shame. They often act indirectly, subtly manipulating events to
go
in their favor.
+
In spite of their fall from being a colossal empire that ruled
the stars and heavens alike
when Mankind was still [[Minecraft|poking things with sticks]] and [[Dwarf Fortress|roasting dead animals over
fires
in caves]] to their current state (a dying
, elegiac
race slowly being whittled down
to extinction
by combat losses and
the hunger of
[[Slaanesh]]), their
utter
disdain for every single bit of non-Eldarin life remains completely unchanged. (Though it's better than [[Exterminatus|what the
fucking
Imperium does to everyone]].
)
The race as a whole has a superiority complex that would put [[Abaddon|Failbaddon]] to shame. They often act indirectly, subtly manipulating events to
resolve
in their favor.
−
These traits, paired with their being used as the defenders of the status quo (see below) and the blatant favoritism they seem to get in any work featuring them ([[Dawn of Eldar|this]] for
example)(Though
the Imperium
get's
MUCH more favoritism in general) have caused them to be the single most-''hated'' race by [[/tg/]]. Yes, more than the [[Necrons|space zombies]] and [[Tau|weeaboo space communists]]. Part of this stems from the fact that they are a hit-or-miss army, much as their [[Dark Eldar|counterparts]] were in the last edition
; when
they work, they work amazingly
,
when they don't, they tend to [[Fail|fail]]. [[Reasonable Marines|Some argue]] that a lot of the hate has been due to them being insufficiently [[
Ork
]]
y
.
+
These traits, paired with their being used as the defenders of the status quo (see below) and the blatant favoritism they seem to get in any work featuring them ([[Dawn of Eldar|this]] for
example—although
the Imperium
gets
MUCH more favoritism in general) have caused them to be the single most-''hated'' race by [[/tg/]]. Yes, more than the [[Necrons|space zombies]] and [[Tau|weeaboo space communists]]. Part of this stems from the fact that they are a hit-or-miss army, much as their [[Dark Eldar|counterparts]] were in the last edition
. When
they work, they work amazingly
;
when they don't, they tend to [[Fail|fail]]. [[Reasonable Marines|Some argue]] that a lot of the hate has been due to them being insufficiently [[
Orky|Orks
]]
, which, if true, is RACIST
.
−
Thankfully, some of the hate has recently started to abate, and this has everything to do with the fact that the Eldar
seemed
to have become the whipping boys of
GW
. You know they hate you when you can't even win in your own codices. Also, almost every victory they get nowadays is a Pyrrhic one. [[Matt Ward]] especially enjoys his crusade against the Eldar, with Avatars dying in almost every codex the guy's written, and if not that then expect similarly one-sided defeats for the Eldar.
+
Thankfully, some of the hate has recently started to abate, and this has everything to do with the fact that the Eldar
seem
to have become the whipping boys of
[[Games Workshop]]
. You know they hate you when you can't even win in your own codices. Also, almost every victory they get nowadays is a Pyrrhic one. [[Matt Ward]] especially enjoys his crusade against the Eldar, with Avatars dying in almost every codex the guy's written, and if not that then expect similarly one-sided defeats for the Eldar.
−
[[Gav Thorpe]] will fight to the death to write about anything starring the Eldar
. Because
he just loves the elves (not enough to stop them from
not being able to win
in their own codex, so he's a much better kind of fan than Matt Ward in this regard) and it's more or less agreed that he's really the only one who can portray them totally accurately since he is the Eldar expert. However, a sizable number of the older 40K playerbase [[Rage|hate]] Thorpe for turning Exarchs into watered-down [[Space Marine]] sergeants and other travesties of fluff.
Also
noted to have a major Asian influence most notably [[China]], with their martial
art
, yin-yang symbol, phoenix and dragon worshiping, cultural pride and philosophy
, as well as (pre
-1945
)
Japan,
such as
the [[Shuriken Catapult]], their belief
of
racial superiority and their ideas about being direct descendants of
Gods
. So all in all this means that the Space Elves are the 40k equivalent of [[Cathay|East Asia]]...huh.
+
[[Gav Thorpe]]
, on the other hand,
will fight to the death to write about anything starring the Eldar
, because
he just loves the elves (not enough to stop them from
losing
in their own codex, so he's a much better kind of fan than Matt Ward in this regard) and it's more or less agreed that he's really the only one who can portray them totally accurately since he is the Eldar expert. However, a sizable number of the older 40K playerbase [[Rage|hate]] Thorpe for turning Exarchs into watered-down [[Space Marine]] sergeants and other travesties of fluff.
Eldar are also
noted to have a major Asian influence
,
most notably
from
[[China]], with their martial
arts
, yin-yang symbol, phoenix and dragon worshiping, cultural pride and philosophy
. Pre
-1945 Japan
factors in as well
,
with an infantry standard weapon called
the [[Shuriken Catapult]], their belief
in
racial superiority and their ideas about being direct descendants of
gods
. So all in all this means that the Space Elves are the 40k equivalent of [[Cathay|East Asia]]...huh.
==History==
==History==
[[File:Banshee.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Say what you want, but their women are hot as hell.]]
[[File:Banshee.jpg|right|300px|thumb|Say what you want, but their women are hot as hell.]]
−
The Eldar were one of many races created by the [[Old Ones]] to fight against the [[
Necron
]]
s
. They were
made
to be powerful [[psyker]]s to take advantage of the [[C'tan]]'s weakness to the powers of the Warp. At the height of their civilization, approximately the same time humans were starting to evolve, they used their advanced technology to perform pretty much all work required and devoted themselves to pursuing lives of hedonistic decadence (like a goddamn Dr. Seuss fantasy... IN
SPACE
). Some Eldar decided to forsake the ways of their kin and left to settle other planets at the fringes of the galaxy; this turned out to be a pretty smart move, since the planet-wide orgies going on back home
created
the [[Eye of Terror]] and caused the birth of the [[Chaos]]
God
[[Slaanesh]]
, coincidentally resulting
in the deaths of most of the Eldar still on their homeworlds.
+
The Eldar were one of many races created by the [[Old Ones]] to fight against the [[
Necrons
]]. They were
designed
to be powerful [[psyker]]s to take advantage of the [[C'tan]]'s weakness to the powers of the Warp. At the height of their civilization, approximately the same time humans were starting to evolve, they used their advanced technology to perform pretty much all
the
work required
in their societies
and devoted themselves to pursuing lives of hedonistic decadence (like a goddamn Dr. Seuss fantasy...IN
SPAAAACE
). Some Eldar decided to forsake the ways of their kin and left to settle other planets at the fringes of the galaxy; this turned out to be a pretty smart move, since the planet-wide orgies
and [[Heterosexual Sex in the Missionary Position|other assorted debauchery]]
going on back home
culminated psychically in a gargantuan Warp anomaly which came to be called
the [[Eye of Terror]]
,
and caused the birth of the [[Chaos]]
god
[[Slaanesh]]
. This calamity also resulted
in the deaths of most of the Eldar still on their homeworlds.
The Eldar present in the 41st millennium are the descendants of those who left to settle other planets or are the mercantile group that travelled around in their enormous ships called [[Craftworld]]s. They are dedicated to their fight against the forces of Chaos spawned by the folly of their ancestors. They are extremely long-lived; the average Eldar has a natural lifespan of at least a thousand years, and the most powerful of their psykers can survive to be tens of thousands of years old. As a result, most Eldar die in battle while still in their prime, and their population continues to dwindle. So [[grimdark]].
The Eldar present in the 41st millennium are the descendants of those who left to settle other planets or are the mercantile group that travelled around in their enormous ships called [[Craftworld]]s. They are dedicated to their fight against the forces of Chaos spawned by the folly of their ancestors. They are extremely long-lived; the average Eldar has a natural lifespan of at least a thousand years, and the most powerful of their psykers can survive to be tens of thousands of years old. As a result, most Eldar die in battle while still in their prime, and their population continues to dwindle. So [[grimdark]].
−
Notable Eldar
Gods
are [[Khaine]] and [[Isha]]. The former is in a million pieces at the moment and the latter is held captive by [[Nurgle]]. There is also [[Cegorach]], the laughing god, who usually plays [[paradox poker]] with [[Tzeentch]], [[C'tan|the Deceiver]] and the [[Emperor]] once every week. It's not exactly known how one dimension managed to contain that much dickery in a single location without imploding.
+
Notable Eldar
gods
are [[Khaine]] and [[Isha]]. The former is in a million pieces at the moment and the latter is held captive by [[Nurgle]]. There is also [[Cegorach]], the laughing god, who usually plays [[paradox poker]] with [[Tzeentch]], [[C'tan|the Deceiver]] and the [[Emperor]] once every week. It's not exactly known how one dimension managed to contain that much dickery in a single location without imploding.
==The Eldar Paths==
==The Eldar Paths==
−
After the fall of
the Eldar
apart from the potential to have
your soul
eaten by [[Slaanesh|a crazed she-man masturbating furiously in the
warp
]] the Eldar discovered most of their population had been cursed with ADHD. This new curse was adapted
in
the [[Paths of the Eldar]], their equivalent to careers. The Eldar will spend hundreds of years dedicated to mastering their fry cook job
in
Space Wendy's then move on to the next occupation that takes their fancy. As you would expect from a universe where [[Grimdark|an entire race can be wiped out by the birth of a single hermaphrodite]] the two most prevalent paths are the Path of the Seer
,
and Paths of the Warrior.
This
can be simplified as The
path
of the [[Eldrad|Dick]] and The
path
of Everyone
else
. The [[Aspect Warriors|Path of the Warrior]] includes such job opportunities as being a Warp Spider, a Howling Banshee, a Fire Dragon and
many other jobs for
the
brave Eldar Warrior
. The
path
of the Seer includes jobs for potential Warlocks and Seers. The few Eldar without ADHD who follow the
path
of the
warrior
or the
seer
will eventually become an Exarch or Farseer. Of course the
paths
of the Eldar are not limited to the Seer and the Warrior. There has to be someone to fill
in
the revered
position of
Path of the [[The Toilets of the 41st Millennium|Toilet Cleaner]]. <br/>Let's not forget the Path of the [[Rage|Angry]] [[Neckbeards|Gamer]]
,
and
The path
of the [[Craftworld]] Drunk.
+
After the fall of
their race, and
apart from the potential to have
their souls
eaten by [[Slaanesh|a crazed she-man masturbating furiously in the
Warp
]]
,
the Eldar discovered most of their population had
also
been cursed with ADHD. This new curse was adapted
into
the [[Paths of the Eldar]], their equivalent to careers. The Eldar will spend hundreds of years dedicated to mastering their fry cook job
at
Space
Elf
Wendy's
,
then move on to the next occupation that takes their fancy. As you would expect from a universe where [[Grimdark|an entire race can be wiped out by the birth of a single hermaphrodite]]
,
the two most prevalent paths are the Path of the Seer and
the
Paths of the Warrior.
These
can be simplified as The
Path
of the [[Eldrad|Dick]] and The
Path
of Everyone
Else
. The [[Aspect Warriors|Path of the Warrior]] includes such
exotically-titled
job opportunities as being a Warp Spider, a Howling Banshee,
or
a Fire Dragon
, all of which involve the applicant donning some form of [[Gay|flamboyant drag attire]]
and
out-trending
the
enemy. Also, Aspect Warriors will occasionally shoot and impale things with deadly proficiency
. The
Path
of the Seer includes jobs for potential Warlocks and Seers. The few Eldar without ADHD who follow the
Path
of the
Warrior
or the
Seer
will eventually become an Exarch or Farseer. Of course
,
the
Paths
of the Eldar are not limited to the Seer and the Warrior. There has to be someone to fill the revered
positions in the
Path of the [[The Toilets of the 41st Millennium|Toilet Cleaner]]. <br/>Let's not forget the Path of the [[Rage|Angry]] [[Neckbeards|Gamer]] and
the Path
of the [[Craftworld]] Drunk
, either
.
==Eldar-Human Hybrids==
==Eldar-Human Hybrids==
−
According to rogue trader fluff which is almost two decades old (and has almost
entirely
been retconned out of existence) humans and Eldar once had a common ancestor, which doesn't make any sense since the Eldar as a race are far older than humanity (by at least 60 million years). There was a theory back in the day that both races were creations of the Old Ones (or the C'tan successfully made humans similar enough to the Eldar). This apparently made it possible for both races to interbreed and produce viable offspring. For example, it was hinted that Illiyan Nastase Chief Librarian Astropath of the Ultramarines was part Eldar. This is of course is
Heresy
and GW has in a rare case of good judgment rightfully chosen to ignore this character
ever existed
. Illiyan Nastase would later be overwritten and replaced by
Tigurius chief librarian
of the
ultramarine
in the more current fluff (likely because of his unusual affinity
with Psychic Powers
). Another example is the cute little bugger [[Lofn]] from the fan comic [[Love Can Bloom|LCB]].
+
According to rogue trader fluff which is almost two decades old (and has almost been
entirely
retconned out of existence)
,
humans and Eldar once had a common ancestor, which doesn't make any sense since the Eldar as a race are far older than humanity (by at least 60 million years). There was a theory back in the day that both races were creations of the Old Ones (or the C'tan successfully made humans similar enough to the Eldar). This apparently made it possible for both races to interbreed and produce viable offspring. For example, it was hinted that
[[
Illiyan Nastase
]],
Chief Librarian Astropath of the Ultramarines
,
was part Eldar. This is of course is
[[HERESY]]
and GW has
,
in a rare case of good judgment
,
rightfully chosen to ignore this character
's existence
. Illiyan Nastase would later be overwritten and replaced by
a new Chief Librarian
of the
Ultramarines, [[Varro Tigurius]],
in the more current fluff (likely because of his unusual affinity
for psychic powers
). Another example is the cute little bugger [[Lofn]] from the fan comic [[Love Can Bloom|LCB]].
Nowadays if it was still possible for Eldar-Human Hybrids to be born they would be in [[Commorragh]] (basically take all the worst aspects of 16th century Port Royal, 19th century Singapore, Las Vegas and Mos Eisley spaceport, and throw in extra helpings of pain, rape and evil), what did you think the Dark Eldar used those slaves for, making pie/HERESY?
Nowadays if it was still possible for Eldar-Human Hybrids to be born they would be in [[Commorragh]] (basically take all the worst aspects of 16th century Port Royal, 19th century Singapore, Las Vegas and Mos Eisley spaceport, and throw in extra helpings of pain, rape and evil), what did you think the Dark Eldar used those slaves for, making pie/HERESY?